Other men just want to fuck with me for no reason

So I'm 22 years old, and I started being out-going and trying not to be autistic when I turned 18, but what I found was that other dudes, especially frat boys and dude-bros, either really fucking love me, or they really want to start shit with me for no reason during parties.

Now, I'm not asking you to decipher everything for me, because I'm not a complete idiot, but what do you guys think it's all about? Has anyone else experienced something like this? Is this common? Is it because they see me as a threat, or do they just not like who I am?

Some background information:
>Used to be a beta in highschool until I started lifting weights and learning normie stuff like boxing and sports
>After 2 years, I started to look good, and girls would come up to me and say stuff like "Hi user! Bye user!", even if I barely knew them
>Don't really have interest in girls, not because I'm gay, but just because I'm pretty busy with school and work, and I don't think it would be responsible to get in a relationship if I know I can't give them my attention
>Now every time I go to a house party or something, there's always at least ONE dude-bro who looks me up and down, sizing me up (I'm not an idiot, I know what he's fucking doing)
>Every time I talk to a girl platonically, other dudes will try to wag their way in our conversation, and I'll just say "fuck it, I'm not going to fight over her, go ahead", and I'll leave them
>Even so, they'll always try and start shit when I back off

I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I'm a pretty happy-go-lucky guy, I like to laugh and sing and dance, I love fighting like MMA and stuff, but I definitely don't throw out a "tough guy" vibe, I always play peacekeeper, and I have a jolly face baby-face, especially during parties, so why the fuck does every dude-bro want a piece of me when I go to a party? What the fuck?

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I didn't read that mess of a post, but choose better friends. Your friends are your choice.

I remember my first year of college.
I was so spergy, but I learned so much.

this is exactly how I'd type during my first year.

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Not my friends. I just get invited to house parties by actual friends, and there are tons of people there; usually friends of friends and what have you-- people I don't know.

Well every time I go to a house party or something, there's always at least ONE dude-bro who sizes me up and tries to start shit with me for no reason. No matter how much of a "I don't give a fuck about being the alpha of the party" vibe I give off, there's always ONE fucking dude that has to try and challenge me to a push up contest or beer pong or something, and while I take it lightly and laugh and joke, even if I win without rubbing it in his face, he always takes it super seriously and gets really competitive and gets pissed.

There are all people I JUST met, all people I had no problem with, and all of them just want a piece of me for no reason. Literally why? I tried to look it up, and it does seem to be a thing, but other than confirming my suspicions, it doesn't tell me WHY guys do it, and it doesn't tell me how to get them to fuck off.

It seems like the more light-hearted and jokingly I take their challenges, the more serious and competitive they get around me. It's like, fuck off. I didn't ask to be your fucking push-up contest challenger or something. YOU challenged ME and called me a pussy and made a big event out of it because I didn't want to fight you. Now that you lost in front of everybody, why are you getting all pissy at me? Is it my fault?

I just don't fucking get it, man.

>After 2 years, I started to look good, and girls would come up to me and say stuff like "Hi user! Bye user!", even if I barely knew them.

Oh shit that’s why that happens. I get hella confused when hot girls with boyfriends are being so nice to me and I hardly know them...perks of being good looking I suppose!

I'm pretty self aware. I know what makes the difference between autistic and not autistic. I have lots of self confidence, and I know how to read a room. I'm just having fucking fun, but for some reason dude-bros just want to fuck with me because I'm assuming girls like to talk to me and I'm big, so taking me down is some sort of way of validating their big-man status.

Like I said, they're not my friends. These are random friends of friends I've literally never met before in my entire life; yet every single party, there's always one dude who wants a piece of me.

I have no inhibitions. I have no insecurities. If I want to sing, I sing. If I want to dance, I dance. I hype up the socially reluctant too. Frankly, I'm good at being social.

I know you're memeing, and I know there's that whole meme that goes "hurr durr people who suddenly get Jow Forums see every single female encounter as them being sexually interested", but like I said, I'm not stupid. I know the difference between flirting and girls being friendly.

>They want to partner with me during class
>They'll ask me shit like "So, what'd you do over the weekend", and when I say something, they'll all act offended and angry and be like "You didn't invite me!?", and they'll all laugh when I don't know what to say
>They'll put their hand on my shoulder when laughing for no reason, and like I said, I'm not an idiot, I know why they're doing it
>Also a whole bunch of other shit that would be tedious to type out because I already know it's flirting and if you were there to see it, you would agree with me instead of doubting me

I know it may seem like I'm misreading social interactions because "hurr durr everyone on Jow Forums is autistic", but you have to believe me. I'm not some stupid meat-head. I'm not some autistic Jow Forumsizen. I KNOW what flirting and friendly looks like. I KNOW what the difference is between being sized up by some insecure dude-bro and bumping into some drug idiot.

Bro I wasn’t even meming lol. If anything I’m a meat head sometimes because I just can’t tell when girls like me unless they are being SUPER obvious about it, so I just assume they are being friendly so I don’t get my hopes up. With that being said, even if the attention is just platonic it is still awesome because I was chubby and bullied in high-school. People do treat you differently if you take care of yourself and don’t sperg out.

Anyways, at parties I bet those guys are just threatened by you because they can see that you have real confidence, which makes them feel the need to bolster their shallow egos against you. I would actually suggest not backing off when they are going for girls you are talking to just to fuck with them. They’d probably respect you more!

Is that true? I've ALWAYS gone for the "fuck it, I don't even want her, have her" philosophy because I think it'll defuse the situation and it's a win/win.

But like I said, it's not like it's the same dude fucking with me over and over again. It's just random insecure dude-bros who I've JUST met, so it's not like they'd remember it the next time we meet, because odds are, there'll never BE a "next time".

If they started it and you’re bigger than them then they can get fucked. You are talking to those girls first. Don’t let ego heads push you around user, you’re better than that

So the harsh truth is I'll just have to put up a fight every single time I go to a party or something? Can anyone else confirm this? Will people ever just chill the fuck out so I can finally live my life in relative peace?

I just want to have fun and not have to be on edge all the time because of edgy rich boys.

News flash: guys shit test too. They're just more in your face about it.

I'm 5'8 and not jacked at all, but it's all in your body language. If you remain calm and chill while they're up in your face or whatever, guess what, they look like roidtards. The girls see this too. They lose even more status. At this point you can utterly destroy them with some comment, or headnod/brush em off.

It's hard to explain but it really is all about frame here. Like that is honestly so degrading to yourself. It's about self respect. You can be happy go lucky, even in the face of this kind of shit, but never let a stranger walk over you 'just to keep the peace'.

Confrontations like these rarely escalate, and even so if you're not the one starting it you're bound to win status either way.

That thing where if you remain calm, they just come off as a fuckboy is true from what I've experienced, but like I said, it doesn't matter. The roster of wannabe tough guys keeps changing.

Halloween, this dude kept aggressively challenging me to beer pong, arm wrestling, pushups, etc., and because he was drunk, I kept winning. I refused to lose on purpose because, like you said, I have to at least maintain SOME self-respect, but I always made it a point to pat him on the back and be all like "Dude, good game, that was really close, and you almost had me there for a second", but instead of chilling out, it escalated to the point where he smacked me behind the back of the head with a hotel pillow and I spilled my drink. I went "what the fuck!?", but by then his friends escorted him out and apologized for his drunken behavior. Everyone at the party thought he was an asshole, everyone said he was being a belligerent jerk, everyone went up to me like "dude are you okay?", and I can confidently say I came out the social victor in that scenario, so I won.

But then, just this Saturday, almost the same thing happened. Some dude kept trying to size me up and kept trying to fuck with me when I was just trying to dance and have fun, and it ended with him tripping me and when I asked him what his problem was he just went "Why? Are you gonna hit me? I'm just trying to dance too" (Which was bullshit, cause like I said, I'm not dumb. It's pretty obvious I was being fucked with). I told him not to touch me, walked to a different spot with my friends, and continued to dance and "forgot" all about it.

It doesn't matter if I end up being "the good guy". SOMEONE still fucks with me, and since it's not always the same dude, no one's around to be like "dude, you fucked with him last time, just leave him alone."

I just want to have fun and not put up with these weird pissing contests all the time. Why can't insecure dudes just fuck off and leave me be?

Well unfortunately assholes gonna asshole. As long as there's been humans there have been assholes unfortunately.

I think a different mindset would help you. When something like this happens to me I see it as a challenge, not in regard to them, but for myself. As in: how do I win here, what can I do to gain the most experience, what situation can I create from this where I come out on top. And that often comes down to frame. Frame meaning here escalating beyond what they're comfortable with. Escalating doesn't mean fight-mode, it means being more comfortable with yourself than they are and showing it. True alpha calmness basically. Act like they're kids. Because they are.

The Halloween example kind of alludes to something else too though. You're too kind. Which is a good thing, but ultimately can bite you in the ass. I know because I was the same. After the first challenge you shouldn't have given him any more attention and just go stand with your friends or talk to someone else or whatever. Completely ignore. If he remains obnoxious act like a father. "Buddy/son/mate/Boyo can you not see I'm talking to someone here, I'm busy." (Also never ever say 'sorry' in a situation like this.)

Being confrontational in a valid assertive way takes practice but its a valuable skill. You can confront someone without escalating. It's all body posture and tonality.

Also if they challenge you just say "no". Just like that, deadpan "no". Or laugh like they told a joke, wave em off and turn around. Ultimately you're getting into these situations because you let it happen. You know now what happens if you endulge them, so keep it in mind for the future.

Huh, that's actually pretty good advice, user. I really hope you're right, because I LIKE going out. I LIKE dancing and having fun with my friends and partying. I don't want to stop doing what I like simply because of other people's insecurities. I thought douchebags at parties were some sort of Hollywood invention, but it keeps happening over and over.

Thanks, man. I think you're the only one who really kind of "gets" how to take care of the situation without turning it into full-blown violence. I can't even fight them if I wanted to because most of these parties happen at my friend's house, or they spent a lot of money and time organizing a hotel party. I fucking refuse to ruin their party that they worked so hard on, simply because someone wanted to fucking fight me. It's bullshit.

No problem user. One more thing though, when I said
>True alpha calmness basically. Act like they're kids. Because they are.
I don't mean it in a belittling way because that can set em off. The body language I'm talking about depends on the asshole in question but mostly it's a kind of a mix of curiosity (like a parent wondering what their 3 year old is going to say), concern for their well-being (like a parent seeing their kid has had too much to drink) but most importantly deep-rooted unfazedness. You've seen a thousand fukboys like him before. You already know they don't have the real swagger to back up their mouth. Imagine your iron balls literally scraping across the ground as you talk to him. You're on another level, they're not, but you don't judge them for it. After all they're kids.

You do you buddy. But remember by preventing and protecting yourself from those situations you're also protecting your friends party. That's the real win-win here

You do sound very annoying, desu.

Elaborate. I'm legit curious.

>I'm a pretty happy-go-lucky guy
It might be this. Overly enthusiastic people can be exhausting for some and for others a sign of weakness.

>I like to laugh and sing and dance
Oh and especially this. You sound like you make a target out of yourself. If you want people to stop messing with you you’ll need to learn how to turn that shit off or something.

>dude-bros just want to fuck with me because I'm assuming girls like to talk to me and I'm big, so taking me down is some sort of way of validating their big-man status
Next time one tries it with you for fun just explain to him how you understand what he's doing and say you're really not interested because they're always sore losers and he's just not worth your time. Might make him angrier, but you just walk away, if you're big like you say no one will thibk you're a pussy. Just cut straight through the bullshit and confront him about it. That's what I started doing, I just embarrass them before the game even begins.

>especially during parties, so why the fuck does every dude-bro want a piece of me when I go to a party? What the fuck?

They are testing you. You earn their respect by being competitive with them and being alpha back.

Just get into one fight and win. In jail it's called a heart check, to see if you're willing to put up a fight and be a respectable person, or if you're a lame who'll just roll over. In jail it doesn't matter if you win or lose your heart check, as long as you stand up for yourself and put up a fight you'll be respected forthwith. If you fail to stand up for yourself, you're marked as someone who can be taken advantage of by EVERYONE, and you'll be picked on and bullied and robbed and possibly even raped if someone is twisted enough. One fight where people can see will fix it all.

>t. been watching a lot of ex-con youtubers recently

Terrible advice desu.

Maybe you're right. I don't mind starting some shit desu.

>fight and win
It's not about winning it's about showing that you're not afraid to fight and take a hit, like you said after that.

"A sword in the hand keeps another in the sheathe." The threat of violence alone is enough to deter violence, but without some kind of retaliation you will always be taken advantage of.

Not about starting shit, it's about taking the "higher route." That shit only works out in fairy tales, in real life you have to stand your ground and tell people to get lost. He shouldn't disengage a woman because some asshole decided to shit on him, he needs to tell the guy to piss off.

I put "sing" because I live in a state where karaoke is a big thing (I'm not sure how popular karaoke is outside of here). I also put "sing" as an example because I just recently went to karaoke that day and it was still fresh in my mind.

I don't dance like a fruit. I dance on the dance floor where it's expected and everyone else is dancing. All my moves are pretty masculine, and it incorporates a lot of hard, jarring, arm and leg locks, with the occasional body roll.

Also, who doesn't like to laugh? Everyone likes to laugh.

Trust me, I can fight. I'm 210lbs, with some pretty impressive lifts--135lbs overhead press for reps, 2plate+25 for bench, 3plate+10 for squats, and 3plate+10 for deadlifts. For those that don't know, that's pretty similar to the Jow Forums ideal for "making it", except I've actually exceeded some of the benchmarks at this point. I also do MMA now and used to box and do taekwondo as a teen. I would post body, but I don't think people really like that because it can come across as bragging.

The thing is, I only ever meet these types of guys when I go out, and I only ever go out when it's my friend's birthday party, or when they're about to get married or something. Who the fuck am I to ruin their special day by getting into a fight? They're my good friends and they don't deserve that bullshit. Also, you guys are sending mixed signals because you guys are saying two different things with the same conviction.

Well then just hold your ground and tell people to butt off. Like I said, the threat of violence is enough to deter violence in most cases. I'm not saying you have to get super serious and ultra aggressive, but acknowledge that their presence, introduce yourself, get their name, and tell them you'd like to talk to them later but you're in the middle of a good conversation with the lady right now. They're not stupid, they know that you know what they're doing and will get the idea. And she will too.

The worst thing you can do is just back off. It's about having finesse with words. I guess you could say "killing them with kindness."

I agree with you, I suppose I worded my post wrong. I only ment walk alway from their stupid challenges to play beer pong or what ever to go talk to the Stacy instead of wasting your time on them. These assholes need to be put in their place, either by not being given the time of day or getting a beating if they don't catch the message. The parties I got to are a bit more "hood", so a bit of violence never really interrupts the night, I understand OP can give out wooden crates of ass whooping but would rather not because of his party situations.

It's sad be alone all time...:c I'm 19 years old girl, I'm don't interest in relationship same as you(I go to the university u.u) but I like make new friends. ¿do you wanna be my friend?
Maybe we could chat or something!

You come off as an obnoxious tryhard.

um...okay...

what do you mean? no I'm not a bieber :v ...what does that mean?

I wanna be your friend. Are you like Mexican or...

I'm from chile, but I have family in others places... far from here:'(...(my english sucks a little, but I understand what you write)

Oh, did you want to trade emails or something?

Without breaking down more of this, it sounds like jealousy. You're probably physically attractive and that pushes their buttons

discord.gg/6zaEZF

Here's my discord server. I don't use discord a lot, but it's pretty simple I guess.

Stop going to parties, you absolute faggot

That's just how party people are. The more time you spend around people that are getting drunk and doing drugs, the more trouble you are going to get in. I know it's fun but it's really not worth it.

You sound like an uber-normie faggot and an unironic nice guy.