it happened some years ago and I'm no longer interested in him. I was depressed and convinced I will be alone for the rest of my life (i'm a shut in) and that that would the only cheap form of love I could have access to + physical needs so we kind of hooked up for a short while
We only met twice or thrice and then I got so disgusted by this empty, meaningless sex I put an end to it and we kept in touch platonically. Now I'm going to start work with him, he's okay but the past is behind. He still makes perverted jokes but thats all they are now. THere's literally 0% risk
Would this be relevant for my boyfriend? He never asks me about past relationships, heck he barely asks me anything related to my past. Should I bring it up myself or just let it go? I don't want him finding out one day accidentally and feeling like his trust was broken
Yes. If there's any chance it comes up in any way, he'll think you hid it from him.
Evan Wood
>we kept in touch there is more to this than you are willing to admit and it will bite you and doesn't matter if your bf knows or not.
He was never in your past
David Carter
Haha another slut who ruined get life because she can't keep her legs shut. Was it worth it ? Didn't anyone tell you to not be a whore?
Alexander Cox
>nothing going on anymore >kept in touch >makes pervy jokes >probably helped him get a job at your place or vice versa You are delusional. If any guy regularly made pervy jokes to me my bf would beat the shit out of him or at least be pissed off. Why don't you think about how this makes him feel and draw some fucking boundaries if you don't have the spine to cut your old fuckbuddy out of your life? What would you think if the situation was reversed? Regardless, he's gonna find out about your relationship one way or another and it'll fuck your shit up. For future reference, if you want a meaningful relationship either don't fuck around in the first place or at least have the decency to cut them off when you're done being a slooter.
Gavin Wood
Calm down dick head, everyone wants to fuck
Samuel Ward
Imagine being a girl and actually thinking you are going to be alone, so you fuck some rando instead of doing literally anything else. Jesus Christ you're retarded
Jason Campbell
>Wants to Some of us control our bad impulses, but not used up whores like you
Luke James
It's just the way he is. Pretty arrogant and throws that jokes around with other girls as well.
'kept in touch' as in exchanged brief messages every few months or so. I'm very asocial so there was no feedback on my part. He was open to keeping in touch more substantially, like hanging out, talking often even probably resuming our relationship but I refused because of the past and because he sort of turns me off, his personality wise I mean. And I realized, with him, that I can't be in bed with someone I'm not compatible with. In those brief shallow exchanges I found out about a new job. I'm not gonna like it being in the same place as him 8 hours a day but I desperately need this job since it sounds good and have been a neet for some time now
I'm a bit on the schizotypal spectrum so, from knowing myself and from experience (failed relationships and lack of friends and social contact) it was fair to assume I was probably going to be alone, without a real relationship. I was in a bad place mentally too, I always have this lingering thought in my head but in such times, it's stronger. I had sort of given up on love and relationships. I only honestly, absurdly accidentally met my current boyfriend and I want to be as honest as possible and try to avoid future fails
Colton Harris
I write like a retard but I hope you anons get the idea
Nicholas Hill
How many guys you let fuck your asshole? Does bf know about them? Or the guys who you swallow they man essence?
Owen Foster
tell him not to joke like that with you because it makes you uncomfortable. dont give me that "it cant be helped" bullshit. tell me how you would feel if your bf's ex fwb was doing that and he was just taking it. you owe him that much.
Colton Howard
You will anyway cheat on him sooner or later, so no, just be the dirty slut you are and stop pretending you give a fuck about other people's feelings. Being a whore should not make you feel bad at this point, but trying to deny it and making a thread just to get sympathy should.
Jaxon Price
>Having to explain basic empathy to a slut You are doing god's work user. But maybe let animals be animals
Connor Parker
It's already two people explaining the slut why this situation is simple: "how would you feel if it wad done to you? what if the roles were reversed?" I am sad at how sluts are not content with carnal pleasures but also want moral validation.
Mason Perez
Youre right. I have and will continue to tell him to stop it with the jokes and act decent. He is very straight forward and the type to say whats on his mind, be it a compliment or insult
So long as i se and keep boundaries and our interaction stays relatively professional and decent (verbally) workplace is in a rather chill and informal setting, like between friends so people joke and banter a lot, i think we should be good He has expressed an interest in me still but i reject his advances, its over. So it all only becomes awkward but i can deal with it. Hopefully boyfriend believes in me, i really dont want to have anything to do with this guy
Thank you for the only reasonable decent answer in this thread
>'kept in touch' why don't you read again your response. You say you don't like him or want anything more while knowing he does and yet you know whats going on in his life and I bet he put a good word in for you. He knows whats going on in your life and you in his so if you didn't want this to be so you could have cut him out of your life.
Again, because you keep in contact and read his correspondence he knows its not completely over.
If you tell your bf he'll wonder why you remain in touch with a man you say you loath but had a sexual relationship with and cannot cut him off despite knowing he wants you. Compounding your problem is he now will work at the same company and you will bump into him. Try explaining that one away to your bf's satisfaction. You cannot.
If you don't tell your bf it is clear you prefer to protect whatever weird relationship you still have with your former fuck buddy who desires you still.
Anyway, this failure to end it make it current and has overlapped the one you have with your bf. You should have ended it completely before moving on.
Jayden Green
Did this guy get you the job?
Benjamin Martinez
As a guy I prefer not to know anything about my girlfriend's sexual past and I prefer to keep mine private aswell, but in this situation I would rather be told ahead of time than find out, unless there's 0% of me finding out.
Aaron Stewart
> I would rather be ignorant about my partners past because I cant handle it And then you wonder why there are issues in your relationship. Would be really funny if youre one of the guys who screech men who want to have a "pure" girlfriend.
Anyways, OP, tell your boyfriend about it. This shouldnt even be a question. This is the kind of minor shit that could ruin a relationship if not handled properly. The fact that he didnt ask you about your past doesnt necessarily mean he doesnt care, he could be like the user above. And yeah, he may not like that you had a fwb and are now working with him, but it will be infinitely worse if he finds out later and from any source other than you.
And tell that guy to fuck off with his sexual jokes next time he does it. And make sure he gets that youre serious, not just "haha stop".
Chase White
Lol I know. All the laced-in excuses. My personal favorite was >convinced I will be alone for the rest of my life
God I love that excuse. I wish I could use it on anything. Rob a bank? Well I was convinced I would be poor the rest of my life Rape somebody? Well I was convinced I would be a virgin the rest of my life Divorce my wife? Well I was convinced she would make me happy the rest of my life
Like it applies to anything. Basically "lololol i have no hope so I'm just gonna ruin everything and feel good about it"
....and to women, it actually makes sense.
Asher Perry
Honestly I don't want to have a girlfriend who's constantly bringing up her ex's. That shit is so fucking annoying. >And then you wonder why there are issues in your relationship. But I don't? I just tell girls I don't want to hear about their ex, that's it.
Brandon Bailey
>im a 3/10 manlet who gets no sex, this makes me a honorable man with morals
only chads who actively say no to sex can take the high ground on this, and chads don't talk down woman like u do
Ethan Perry
Its one thing not to want your partner to go on and on about their exes. Nobody wants that. But its something else to want to know nothing about their sexual history. Because every single person out there cares about that to some extent, ranging from mild curiosity to hard standard. If you say you dont want to hear that Im just going to assume you think (or subconsciously know) their past might bother you so much it would negatively affect the relationship in the long term.
Landon Bailey
Stop crossing the fire Peebz, idiots like OP are A) not exclusively gendered and B) a bad example of humans to begin with
Colton Morris
He only let me know about the opening. Other than that, he didn't even help me with prepping for the tests, like tip me on what to expect at the most general level. He fairly warned me beforehand that he wouldn't guide or influence at all since it wouldn't benefit either of us in the long term and I appreciate that because it would have indebted me to him which I'm truly trying to avoid
Not really an excuse. I don't think what I did was right, for me at least - that is why I stopped, it didn't suit me. But you're generalizing here with extreme examples. I had contemplated this thought before, it was not impulsive, albeit desperate and I knew what I was getting myself into so I'm responsible for the consequences of that decision. It wasn't something that I wanted or ever will want to, I only thought that I could or should learn to live with it but now I know I rather die than sleep away with men I'm not in a serious relationship with. So I'm not waving a hopelessness/victim card, just saying what it was, what I tried, what failed and what conclusions was drawn. It just so happens this situation...happened now.
Liam Rogers
>Not really an excuse. I don't think what I did was right, for me at least - that is why I stopped, it didn't suit me. But you're generalizing here with extreme examples. I had contemplated this thought before, it was not impulsive, albeit desperate and I knew what I was getting myself into so I'm responsible for the consequences of that decision. It wasn't something that I wanted or ever will want to, I only thought that I could or should learn to live with it but now I know I rather die than sleep away with men I'm not in a serious relationship with. So I'm not waving a hopelessness/victim card, just saying what it was, what I tried, what failed and what conclusions was drawn. It just so happens this situation...happened now.
Lol... Look I know this sort of lie works on like 95% of guys. I get it. But you've gotten cocky. This stuff won't work on me.
Dylan Reyes
Could make for a good mental work out. I often say women were given to us as sharpeners for our minds.
>Not really an excuse. really was. Definition. >I don't think what I did was right nobody cares >, for me at least Which means only you care. And you're still unsure. >- that is why I stopped Stopped due to uncertainty. Root emotion being fear. Decision made on emotion and not reason -- got it! >, it didn't suit me. So you made an emotional decision and didn't feel emotionally satisfied with the outcome. Also the distance from this statement "it didn't suit me" as if the universe just happens, you have no willpower. Ok got it! >But you're generalizing here with extreme examples. One of my examples was just a man getting divorced. You catch my point at all or just get all emotionally riled at the extremeness of some of my examples? I'll assume the latter;) >I had contemplated this thought before, Codeword for 'shut up', an appeal to boost your credibility Judging by your pathetic decision-making skills, you get no credit. >it was not impulsive, Yet the whole choice was apparently made on emotional grounds. Also user was simply saying "theres more to it than you're willing to admit" Well... I guess this is the proof. (1 of 3)
>albeit desperate Appeal to sympathy, manipulation, because you swing from being super in control, to being pathatic and in need of sympathy; you say you knew what you're doing, but describe an emotional decision. To the uninitiated: Just a lie. This is what women do when they want to confuse you. One of the biggest weapons in female manipulation is ambiguity. Look how carefully she's avoiding making any sort of decision, even though she's describing her PAST. The unchanging, factual historical record. She wants to keep all the doors open, so later she can fall to the victim side, or fall to the control side. She is lying and making no accurate description of the past. Ambiguity as a manipulation tactic. >and I knew what I was getting myself into See? Just flips. She's actually not confused, she's doing this to confuse YOU. >so I'm responsible for the consequences of that decision. As if that has anything to do with anything. Cause like We weren't talking about what happened. We were just pointing out some dumb things you said in your original post. I know you're just feeling embarrassed at being caught, and, of course, using even more lies to reclaim your pride. >It wasn't something that I wanted or ever will want to, Never wanted - past Will do- future Hmmmm:) Interesting... then if you never wanted this, then why do it? Oh yeah, lying. The reason for this is to detach intention from action. Often girls say stuff like "What did he mean when he said ___?" It's because they are obsessed with intention. She's covering her grounds now by cutting the tie between intention and action. This is just a simple obfuscation. (2 of 3)
>I only thought that I could or should learn to live with it So at this point, we don't know if she wanted it, or not. Nor if she was in control, or not. And now she's expressing the effect of regret. "Learning to live with it" Again as if things just happen and have no agency. But what does regret have to do with anything? Nobody cares what you did, or if you regret it. Honestly I'm not even sure why she turned to this direction. I guess maybe she feels shame and is projecting a response to her personal shame. >but now I know I rather die than sleep away with men OHH why didn't I save that picture of the two trashcans. One small, one big. They were labeled "Finding herself" and "ready to settle down" lol I guess you're ready to settle down now huh? Good for you! >I'm not in a serious relationship with. Not like it mattered before :P >So I'm not waving a hopelessness/victim card except you just did >, just saying what it was You've done nothing but obfuscate the historical record, and now you're asking what's the best way to manipulate your bf into acting the way you want (loving you as much as possible). hmmmmmmmm... If I tell him, will he love me more? Or if I lie will he love me more? Idk whatdya guys think? :) >, what I tried, what failed and what conclusions was drawn. Just more flip-flopping. So HERE you have agency, THEN the next words you say are >It just so happens this situation...happened now. Your whole take on this. "Just happened". As if life just happens and you have no control. Guys, don't let a girl ever trick you into believing this. All girls are control freaks. They know they have willpower and inflict their will on the universe. This game of acting like everything just happens is a simple lie. Not even complicated. Don't overthink it. It's easy, as a guy, to fall for this one because you love women and want to nurture them like children. (3 of 3)
So your original question is: Would lying, or telling the truth, make your man love your more?
Well, given from what I know about you, you are both a huge liar, and a bad one. Which means your boyfriend is a gullible fool. He's been falling for all your tricks so far, so why would he stop now? Just lie your way out of it and tell him all he wants to hear. He's just that kind of man and he deserves whatever happens to him.
When I first started talking to my girlfriend I asked her if she was dating her coworker. She said no On our first date she opens up and tells me she was FWB but ultimately decided to end things with her coworker and be with me instead. Month after dating my girlfriend. My insecurities got the best of me and I started to tell my girlfriend that she lied to me on the first day we met and told her I wouldn't have dated her if I knew about her relationship.
Aaron Torres
>FWB Into the thrash it goes.
Thomas Williams
Wow that is quite an in depth analysis of every word and comma I wrote. I appreciate the effort in trying to demote my supposed 'rationalization' of the situation but you only made a fool of your ass misconstruing and attaching emotionally manipulative subtleties to what I said I'm almost sorry you have had experiences this bad with women
I dont understand what the lie is here, and a huge one at that? What did I lie to my boyfriend about or how am I tricking him? He never asked about my past relationships, he once hinted that he doesn't care (enough to ask) about exes. In spite of this, should I have just spewn everything about my past relationships? And my question in the OP is not how to make him love me more by presenting him whatever he wants to hear. I'm willing to do what is right, I'm just asking if it would be relevant/necessary given his lack of interest in my past and how it could affect the relationship
Zachary Young
>continues lying Ok I was giving you credit before, assuming that you were at least lying on purpose. But now I'm starting to think you're not even attached to reality.
So it doesn't really matter what you do, OP. The quality of your life won't change either way, because you have problems bigger than if your boyfriend is aware of a fling.
Also stop fishing for attention. If you hate me so much, why are you asking me so many questions? Is your boyfriend really that distant? Or perhaps you have no friends or father to turn to for help. Really must suck OP, to be so alone in this world.
Parker Williams
Peanut butter gets it.
Fucking lol. You deserve this you filthy ho. You are not even honest with yourself.
I am a chad and yes, we can and do.
Sure, blame your bad decisions on mental illness. Weak bitch.
You still have feelings for him. Liar.
Matthew Torres
Op you are a sociopath and you don't even know it. You shouldn't be in a relationship right now.
