break up with boyfriend

> break up with boyfriend
> relationship had been rocky for a while, we were awful to one another, and after we broke up it got worse
> repeatedly tell him I'd like to go back to being friends but if he doesn't think that is possible, just drop me completely
> he whiplashes between intentionally cruel and acting like we're still together, sends me a Valentine's card five months after break up
> cut him off entirely, don't speak to him, tell him to contact me in a month if he wants to go back to being friends
> within that month, get asked out by a long term friend, a mutual in my ex and i's social circle
>not comfortable with dating so early (within 6months of break up) but don't want to miss this chance so go for it
> keep it quiet initially so I'm sure I'm not fucking new guy about
> after a month ish put it on Facebook
> still don't know if ex knows, don't want to gloat or flaunt, don't want to just catch him off guard at a social event but don't want to hide my new relationship either cus like it or not the other dude is definitely more important

What do I do here? Do I go up and tell him or let him get caught off guard and ruin his night or is there actually a way to navigate this? Also please roast me and this situation and how poorly I've dealt with it, I feel so awful and everyone irl is going "not your fault" which we all know is bullshit.

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>blablbalbalablabla
doesnt matter, you are stupid and you were stupid to eachother
let go

>put it on facebook
Why would you do that in the first place that's retarded. Your relationship is yours and there's no need to announce it pubicly. If people ask you tell them how it is and that's it.
With that said you broke up 6 months ago. Just let it be you have your own life to live as he does as well

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I am stupid, sure, but "let it go" isn't helpful advice for the situation at hand, sorry. I let him go a while ago, it's my stupid handling of the situation that I can't drop right now.

autism the post

Just let shit like that happen naturally. I wouldn’t worry another moment over this.

Enjoy the new cock.

>Your relationship is yours and there's no need to announce it pubicly.
Unless, of course, there's someone who you would like to know that you are in a relationship with another person but for some reason societal norms say that you can't outright tell them.
>Just let it be you have your own life to live as he does as well
So you think that I should just act normal and if he gets caught off guard by it at a mutual social situation, that's for him to deal with? Is that not cruel?

I'm so anxious tho and hurting people intentionally is like my nightmare. I'll try to chill out and relax but I honestly thought Jow Forums would agree with me here. Thanks, I think.

Then tell them directly and not through changing the relationship on facebook. Are you 15 or something?
It's been 6 months I don't see it as cruel

So you think I should have just messaged my ex and gone "I'm in a new relationship now"? I can only imagine how poorly he would have taken that, honestly, but it would have circumnavigated this issue at least. Okay, cool, I would have thought this was too soon but evidently not to some, thank you kindly for your input.

You should've just forgotten your ex and that's it. If he can't handle you having a new relationship that's his problem. 6 months is a lot.
All I was saying is posting it on facebook to show people that you're in a relationship is childish. Talk to people instead it's a lot more enjoyable

He's one of my longest standing friends, I'd have to be a sociopath to just straight up forget about him, never mind the fact we share the same social group.
Aye, to which I concur but saw no other choice in the matter if I wished to do everything in my power to make sure I wasn't intentionally being a cunt to someone who had always been a decent friends to me. Honestly no matter what he does I feel honour bound to be conscientious toward him. If it makes you feel better I had a grand time the week beforehand telling all of my friends / family about it.

theres no helpful advice, you want to hear something you already decided about like all women
i said let go because you are hanging to a branch while already grabbing a new one, stupid monkey

Nah, I just want relevant advice. If I'm asking whether or not different options are better than the others and you don't comment on them but give vague advice that could be applied to everything but my actual questions, it's genuinely just not helpful. Your metaphor is for what, exactly? If you think I'm still holding onto my ex after I literally broke up with him and cut him off several times, I'm not sure what to tell you.

Bump

OP, you need to be very careful here. Your ex can kill you over something like this.

Best you cut him off entirely, make sure if you socialize with the same group he's not there and instruct them not to say anything. Your new guy can help with this and keep your relationship quiet.

Unless my ex gets his hands on an illegal weapon, he definitely cannot kill me. Even if he tried, I'm never around him without at least another two people any more. I'm not hiding this relationship any longer, which is kinda the advice I've come here regarding. If he reacts, he reacts, but I don't want to be a cunt about it and catch him off guard or make him feel like I'm gloating about it.

He obviously still has feelings for you. I don't get how women don't see that the entire 'let's stay friends xD' shit is insulting and hurtful. Let him go. Stay out of his life so he can move on. You won't be friends again. Also you owe him nothing and while I dont agree with the whole facebook thing it's been long enough. Just dont expect the poor lad to stay around and dont give him any hope. Because that's what staying friends does.

But I like his attention!? How are a man's feelings more important than mine!? Explain please

If you're over him then why the concern? Best way is to have one of your mutual acquaintances let him know you are dating someone. If he contacts you then only confirm it and don't give any more information. If the relationship is done you move on and be respectful to your new relationship and stop trying to maintain a friendship with a guy that may want you back.

However you better watch your back

Lul that's actually how I imagine her brain works

I've told him multiple times that I'm done and I only want to be friends. I do not contact him after this point and only when he starts contacting me do I respond. I refuse to hang out with him alone or in small groups where we could be left alone. I don't know how else to "let him go" without treating him like a child and making his choice for him.

I like his platonic attention, that's how friendship works. He's the only channer I know and we share some facets of humour and hobbies. Forgive me if someone starts talking to me about something I like and I want to respond.

I actually wanted to do that, to let him know via a close mutual friend of ours, but someone told me that would also be rude. I just want to not be a cunt here and if he's talking to me, not talking to him would be cuntish but now you're telling me simply responding to his texts is being a dick?

Why does he still have means to contact you? Block him for fucks sake. The dude still has hope and feelings for you. No more 'let's be friends bullshit'. It doesnt work and only hurts him. Hell it's been half a year and he cant move on because you won't ignore him. Stop enabling him.

>simply responding to his texts is being a dick?
it gives him hope there is a chance one day and you need some separation totally from him right now as you get your new relationship started.

I still hold that you have a friend casually mention you are dating someone else. You are not in a relationship with him and there is animosity towards you from him. Surely if you need a male buddy you can find one with less baggage between you. Every time you respond or feel compelled to explain yourself the longer your relationship lives. If you cannot then you have unresolved issues with the break up and that is unfair to your new guy.

I don't understand why responding to someone in a civil manner is considered being a prick, especially when it's about shared interests, but I'll defer to better knowledge here and speak to my male friends or possibly boyfriend on their / his opinion on this.

I'll definitely go the route of via our friend then, thank you for that as well.

just my suggestion op
make yourself hated by your ex
it will be easier for him to let go, I hope
or, even easier, make him lose all respect he had for you. That will do it