Am a 18 year old shy, virgin, socially inept, mentally ill femanon

>Am a 18 year old shy, virgin, socially inept, mentally ill femanon
>Been on r9k for 5 years but did not start posting until recently
>Want a bf but am too shy irl and most guys in real life just want to fuck
>See a lot of r9k type guys cute
>Fantasize about dating them
>Have been tempted to try and contact some to see if I like them
>Start to notice threads where anons brag about fucking young femanons and leaving them
>Feel sad and decide to never post my contact
How do I find a guy who is not just out for sex? It is my dream to be with one guy and be super cute and romantic with him and have each of us be our first and only. I know it sounds stupid and immature but can I at least ask the guys here if anyone men like this exist? Someone who just wants to love one girl and have her give him all their love?
How would I go about finding or dating one?

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Astaroth#0794
By adding me

meeting someone from here seems like a really bad idea.

>men like this exist?
They do (I am one)
>How would I go about finding or dating one?
No idea
Good luck femanon

This guy has been contactwhoring in many threads and talking to many women btw. I would avoid him if I were you. Also the men here are not like the ideal in your head. They are just trash losers who will treat you poorly.

Don't add people here directly looking to add others. Try to meet people indirectly through things like Omegle with arcanine tags (not the video chat obviously since that's degenerate normies). Don't tell people you're a girl immediately so you can gauge how they really are (they will assume you're male). Be properly cynical about the potential for relationships, don't get mega attached to someone without investing some time into them.

I'm not in for sex because i live on other side of planet. e-gf would be good tho

do you wanna talk op

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>most guys in real life just want to fuck
Hell of an assumption. Given the choice I think most guys want a stable partner.

No im not i am not talking to any girls atm

desuarchive.org/r9k/search/text/Astaroth#0794 /

yikes

I posted my contact many times but im not talking to any girls

all guys want to fuck, you need to get over that. it's kind of difficult figuring out which guy just wants to fuck, and a guy that wants to fuck+have you as a gf. i'm a guy so its kind of easy to tell which ones are just in it for the sex. i'm not sure if girls are bad at figuring out which guys are only in it for the sex, or they are willingly ignoring it.

anyway, if a guy is trying very hard to be suave and slick, he's most likely just in it for the sex.

Sorry for duplicating the thread. My phone died as I was posting and thought it did not go through.
How do I know you are not out for sec though?
Lemme take a sec to reply to you guys

Yeah. I do not really connect with people irl though. I dunno what to do.
That is nice. You are a good person. What do people like you do in real life?
Thanks for the warning frien
I tried omegle but it seems to be worse for sex. Also I know about the girl thing. I usually try to hide that I am a girl but I am into a lot of girly things so I think it is easy for them to assume. Thanks for the genuine advice.
Where on the planet? We can talk frien.
At least in my experience. Guys come up and can be very rude and sexual.

Lol who the fuck describes themself as an UwU boy. Jesus fuck I keked.

They do exist, it'd be basically impossible to meet one irl unless you took some initiative though. Same goes with online, but it'd probably be easier for someone like you. You'd have to do a lot of vetting, and you'd have to actually try to have chemistry with the person. I think too often, people meet through r9k and have the expectation of falling in love and all that from the start. All that does is lead to failed relationships. The people saying don't add others here are probably normies, so I wouldn't listen to them unless you are as well. However, you do want someone who is normal enough per se, a full blown autism robot could never hold a relationship, nor could they really "give you all their love." Another tip, would be to stay away from contact whores, people have posted often I mean. Stay away from servers, stay away from people in lots of servers. Keep an open mimd though, because you might not always share the same interests with someone, but could still get along very well. Too often, I see people around here say vehemently that they would only want to date someone with the exact same interests as them, that's usually not the best idea. If you think it'd be hard to talk to someone without the same interests, then gauge them on how they react if you ask them to try your interests and vice versa. I think it could be a very cute bonding moment.

>What do people like you do in real life?
I don't know, it varies from person to person.
I study (I am taking break right now), meditate daily and lately I've been playing a video game with my friends

The one okayish thread actually gets moved to advice. That blows, sorry about that, op

Those kind of men are as shy as you. In your case you have to do the approaching.

finding someone you really connect to is very rare in this day and world we live in let alone a soul connection

Also part of a relationship is also sex so you cant avoid that, you just have to be clever when meeting and selecting for a potential lover, there is where the stereotype female logic comes from

get the fuck of 4shit.

I had a first date with girl and I was scared shed friendzoned me if i didnt do kino, so i touched her knee under the table, everyone could see and she got scared ,I knew right away i probably shouldnt have done it but atleast she didnt leave like i thought , then i tryed to set up another date after a week and she kept saying shes busy, I think that was her way of seeing if im gonna leave or stay months later i kissed her neck so it seems all good

What country do you live in?

I'd say the guys whore overly eager or not eager at all are most likely to brag about anything sexual, as it's either part if their nature or so rare that they can't do otherwise. Of course that's not true for all but just a guess. Also are the ones who slowly open up more likely to be loyal as they don't trust people that fast but then usually keep trusting them. Once again, someone who doesn't open at all or goes all in from the beginning might also be loyal but they're more likely to use misuse someones trust as they either have nothing worthy told or you know things about them they tell others directly anyway, not to mention they might be lying or share secrets tactically, which can't hurt them but make you feel safer around them. Last is more a psychopathic trait so unlikely but after all we're on the worst board for Taiwanese rice-farmers so I think here is a higher chance of that than elsewhere.

>the macabre

Holy FUCK do not try to date on Jow Forums. Your heart is in the right place:
>It is my dream to be with one guy and be super cute and romantic with him and have each of us be our first and only.
>Someone who just wants to love one girl and have her give him all their love
If you stick to these, you will not regret it. It might take a while to find the guy you're looking for. It will get hard to stick to these ideals, you'll probably get lonely and horny and think about compromising sometimes. Just don't. I'm somebody who used to think like you, but the right person came along at the right dark moment and I slipped in to the degenerate hookup shit. I regret it. At the time, it seemed like a good idea, but looking back I wish I had saved myself until I really was sure I found the right one.
Whatever you do, though, don't try to find love on Jow Forums. Jow Forums is a website that attracts damaged individuals, and Jow Forums users are some of the most damaged of the lot.

Sex is part of a relationship. It's fine to go on a few dates and not have sex, but if you get into a serious relationship then it's part of it.

Pls fuck me

I met someone on /soc/ and they weren't total aids, but neither of us were looking for sex and I posted my Steam contact instead of anything. I think the Steam part filtered like 99% of the cancer. But my point is that not EVERYONE will be a piece of shit.

underrated

Yeah but she's playing with fire for no reason

>>Been on r9k for 5 years but did not start posting until recently
and dropped.

Where do you live OP? E-mail, discord whatever?

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>Feel sad and decide to never post my contact
Smart. /rk9/ is a shithole.

>How do I find a guy who is not just out for sex?
By ignoring chads and other sociopaths

>21 male
>Abstained from relationships (1 ex)
>Confidence and good fashion
>6/10 face
>Upper class car, own house, status
>Caring but not really but kinda
>Jow Forums
So this means femanons are after me huh?

What you are looking for is one of the few men which have not because of feminism either become a complete neckbeard, or a submissive cuck, but rather a good old virtueus dude who is living by standards of western civilization. The guy who insists on paying at the first date, the guy who will open the door for you or a guy who tells someone that they have dropped their wallet - that is the kind of person that you are looking for. Look for these kinds of traits and you will likely find the guy you are looking for. I know its hard to believe, but good men are still out there

i have similar feelings as op

just want to have loving relationship with common goals, respect and cuddles

but apparently these days people rather have anal sex before second date or knowing your surname

i was sold disney dream and turns out im going tondie khhv because my face bones arent as good as chads

>Am a 18 year old
>Been on r9k for 5 years
wtf?

Being the aspie type of guy who only wants to be with one woman blows so not many guys do it. I've gotten deserted a lot after committing hard to girls and they inevitably lose interest or general young adult bullshit ends it.

Where do you live? You sound like someone I'd be interested in dating although I doubt locations would line up

It's not that surprising, the concept of quite literally growing up on Jow Forums has existed for a long time. A huge chunk of the userbase here began using this site between the ages of 12 to 16.

can confirm '06 newfag here started at 16 with code geass

I'd imagine many anons will feel me on this but as a guy who's been in a committed relationship in this modern age, I've lost faith in most people. Maybe others won't feel this as harshly as I do, but you're simply lying to yourself or ignorant if you don't agree that people generally are shit and not trustworthy. Depending on your age then I'd say it's gonna be tough. I'm mid 20s and I can't seem to find a decent person. I have plenty of friends but romance just never seems to work out. It did once but as you probably guessed that ended badly.

anyway, my advice to you would be to not come here for advice about this. As paradoxical as that is. I look at it like this- a good man on here is gonna be hard to find, but they (we?) exist. Problem is that they have no reason to trust you or take you seriously or want to date you unless they are desperate and broken in some way. That's my opinion. So discussing your feelings here is harmless and can be helpful, but don't look for someone through this place. I've heard of some stories about people having met through here and being happy... anything is possible... but in your case, I wouldn't go for it.

Reason being, if the way you describe yourself and your situation is true, then you're better off irl even though you're shy. Trust me, if you put yourself out there you'll get some attention. Overcoming the discomfort you feel surrounding this should be good for you. Just don't expect prince charming till you've gone through the trash first. Or maybe you get lucky. Either way, wish you the best.

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>How do I find a guy who is not just out for sex?
trust me a lot of guys aren't out for only sex. fuck, i don't even want sex, at least not right away anyway. i would even argue the opposite, most girls i've interacted with seem to just want sex, and i find that to be extremely disappointing. just open your eyes, many guys really want a girl who is loyal and values things other than sex. i wish i could say the same for girls though, i really wish there were more girls like you in today's society, femanon. stay pure, don't rush to lose to lose your virginity. it's actually a good quality to have and to save for the right man.

can confirm, read my first greentext at around 10 years old, started browsing Jow Forums at around 14. heavily browsed Jow Forums since i was 17. it's a shame that our impressionable adolescent minds have been ruined by the filth on this shithole of a website.

You are looking in the wrong place gal

There is pussy hyperinflation nowadays, just go out and find a nice guy

Hey, if you want we can talk, not really r9k type but i am looking for friends adjacentmill #5346

There's quite a few of us out there but I can say from personal experience that it's not easy to reach a state of mind where a man can easily do things like you described without also falling into common pitfalls such as becoming a "nice guy." As much sympathies I have for the people on r9k I don't really think dating one would be a great idea. You're mentally ill, he'd be most likely mentally ill, combine that with social ineptness and the relationship would be far from ideal. My suggestion would be to work on your own life some, improve your social skills, and work on your personal boundaries so that when you meet a potential lover you two can have an easier relationship. I learned this the hard way when I was struggling with mental illness and dated a girl who also had issues. You think it'd be nice because you two can relate to each other however the constant anxiety makes communication very nerve wracking and unclear letting problems boil instead of get solved leading to us having a pretty nasty breakup.

As for how to find these kind of guys, they are definitely out there, but probably not on r9k.

>r9k for 5 years
it's over

I assume you're either still in school or in college, so here's what you do to attract attention (given you're at least average looking)
>if you find a guy you like, just look at him and if he looks back, look back at him, send subtle signals like this, eventually one might come over
to avoid a fuck boy
>date the guy you like but if he gets touchy or wants to fuck on the 1st or 2nd date then don't agree on further dates
>date someone else until you find the right person for yourself
>get to know the person by dating them, its kind of a like a more fun job interview to see if you click for each other

If you want further help then answer these so we know what to work with
>are you from a small town or a big town?
>how would you rate yourself? and don't give me that "I'm depressed and have low self esteem so despite being told I'm a 9 I think I'm a 4"
>can you keep up a conversation?
>what are your interest?
>what is your type of guy?
>have you ever dated at least?
>what do you mean by mental illness? does that affect your relationships with people?
>are your standards realistic?

no two people are exactly the same so I can't really give a universal advice, this is more of a specific case kind of thing

If you go in with this expectation you will terrify most men. You're essentially saying: LOVE ME AND ONLY ME, NEVER LEAVE ME. Which is a big yikes from me dawg. Have some fun with guys, be romantic and have sex. Settle down if you find someone compatible.

This is not stupid, femanon!

At your age I asked to myself your exact same questions... Then, at 20 I randomly met a guy, same age as me, that was exctly like me. He soon became one of my best friend, and without even noticing we ended up together. Now we're planning marriage.


There are good boys out there that are not obsessed by sex and would prefer a romantic story. Sadly, they usually are pressured by everyone else that surrond them. "you should have fun" "you should go and have random sex" "it's not healty!" "you're gay".
I bet this kind of guy hear this things regularly.

If they're weak, they'll end to conform to their friends behaviour. Or else, they lie to their friends, to avoid such nonsensical speech. So it might be not easy to spot them. The ones who actually talk openly about it might be a few.

Also, this kind of guy might not like dating apps. Not sure tho.

You are missing however, that the culture of monogamy is a virtue of the western civilization

Leave alone chats and dating apps. Those are nests for sex-addicted freaks.

I understand not liking to go out, but the best idea would be meet someone and invest some time in him before thinking about romance. So apps are a no-go, because you already know that those people are searcing a match.

Do you have any interest? Then join a community on internet and start making new friends there. You might find love, who knows?
Just stick to the above rule: invest time in someone, before thinking about romance.

>Sadly, they usually are pressured by everyone else that surrond them.
am man, can confirm. I'm against the hook up culture and casual sex, I know what I'm after and this isn't it so I'm sticking to my believes. I did have a lot of friends pressuring me to go out and get laid in a club without me having a say in it, "lets get you laid, c'mon" and they would keep going on and on until you say yes, but I never did. Or when I'd mention a girl I'm talking to, they'd say "did you fuck her yet?" or I'd have people pressure me during parties to go and talk to a girl alone in a room and they'd arrange the whole thing without my involvement or consent.

People that fuck around see it as ok and want to get everyone to be like them, but people that aren't like that see it differently, they're more open minded too I'd say since they see both perspectives, not just their own. That's why I feel that people like this should stick to people like themselves, and people that don't buy into the hook up culture should stick to people like them. It often happens too from what I've seen so if its any help, thats how OP might identify a guy she wants to date

Stay true to your values. You're a good man.


Reading this thread has restored a bit of my faith in humanity. Would have never imagined this happening on Jow Forums.

>I'm femanon I want bf
>100 replies
>hey I'm user I want gf
>kys incel, 4 replies
what went wrong

men have more empathy for women because there's a chance they might get laid (even if the person on the other side of the screen is thousands of miles away)

guys have no empathy for other guys because they're competition + they can't fuck them so naturally being on Jow Forums you want to put down everything you can't fuck

Quit talking like you know shit about anything. I'm putting down what I want to fuck, too. Dumb shit

kys incel

normal relationships have sex in them.
you can do the cute shit when youre not having sex.
now grow the fuck up

You really need to work on yourself and your shortcomings if you’re going to have a healthy relationship. Don’t date guys who simply accepts you for who you are now. It sounds perfect on paper, but you’ll easily fall into a abusive relationship.

You initially have no inherent value to a man besides your pussy. You said yourself that you are shy, socially inept and mentally ill. No guy would really care about hanging out with you or giving you their time. For a man to want to keep you long term he has to know you for a while and you have to grow on him. I’d suggest working on yourself and stop being a worthless person first.

try dating sites like bumble, the more serious dating sites rather than stuff like tinder. Ask them lots of questions and only do stuff when you feel comfortable that you know and like this person and they have similar plans as you.