GIOYC

No, it isn't. I'm having nightmares about it. I don't have anybody else.

I don't even know you, you don't know me. And even if you were him that wouldn't solve anything and its not what I seek.

Shot my self in both feet today and watched my dream flushed down the drain, yet still I must keep moving forward

I will have sex with an alien if it's the last thing I do.

It's over because you have cancer now.

Damn man. I fucked up way worse than I thought. Too dumb to enjoy school, to lame to enjoy dangerous shit. Just shitty enough to die slowly.

No such thing as aliens, big foot, fairies, sea monsters, Godzilla, etc etc.

Eh, I just wish I could find somebody interested in ending my life in obscurity. Too chicken shit to get it done myself.

You're of no more use to your captors so just be free. Live like Tulsi, like you are about to die at any time.

I miss my highschool friends so much. It's been almost 5 years and I haven't been able to move on from them. I can't describe how much pain I feel knowing that they don't feel the same way. It's not even that they hate me so much as I was just a minor character in their lives for a short period of time and I'll never be as important to them as they are to me. I really believed that trying to make new friends and letting time pass would make things better but it hasn't and I don't know what to do. I miss my old best friend in particular. She was my closest friend for seven years and I just assumed we would be apart of each others lives until one of died but now she doesn't want to interact with me at all and has completely moved on.

I think I'm just coming to the realization that I'm just not a guy who can enjoy close mutual friendships with people and I have no idea how or if I can come to accept this.

A lot of people have been in nearly you exact circumstances and were able to come out of it okay. Obviously the ways things are going right now isn't working for you and this is something really scary and challenging for you. You need to talk to people irl about what you're going through and keep telling new people until someone takes your problem seriously and can either help you or direct you to someone who can. You should let your mom now that you feel awful about your current life and you are scared of being alone after she dies. Even if she can't help you, you will feel better being open about this to more people.

Pie wanna come in you girl SHIT

That is fucking terrible idea unless you live in the middle of a giant crate filled with bubble wrap. If you try to live like you're about to die you will *actually* die.

go to the airport, pretend you're a terrorist, pull out a fake gun, bomb, whatever. That simple.

If only, but even then that takes way too long to kill me

Number one piece of advice for you is to only thing as far into the future as you can reasonably see yourself surviving and don't even try to think beyond that. If you can't imagine yourself living for another year then just plan out the next few months and don't try to think about what you will do after. If a month is too big then do a year. You are in survival mode right now until you can get to a better mental place where you aren't feeling scared and hopeless.

I feel like I'll never have people geuinly care about how I'm doing. I feel like the best I can hope for is someone to humor me for a while out of politeness. I wish I mattered to other people the way they did to me.

Let's be together

no matter what i do my music sounds boring. just....uneventful. no matter how many guitar solos or violins....it's not beautiful. its boring.

my dad went in about 6 weeks, not long

Its all so absolutely silly. The silliness is off the charts. Thats probably the most frustrating thing about this. Its just plain dumb, I think I know the solution, but it doesn't seem to be working and I just wish time would hurry the hell up and heal this mental disease. I just gotta keep myself distracted, but damnit its hard and venting here feels so damn good.

maybe you could find some people or resources to help you out.

You've obviously never seen death up close. Looming death brings freedom with it. You don't care about anything mundane, things like your fucking reputation.

You're like that guy in the Mozart movie loooooooooooolllll

Thats really sad, I am sorry for your loss user.

Yeah, you're right on that one. I'm not that stupid though, I just want it done in such a way that benefits both parties as long as the result is me not being alive anymore without causing such a disturbance.

It's too late, I have cancer.

i've studied music. I have an advanced knowledge on most topics but I cant get my music to sound...real

Let us not plz
Idk if I'm reta def because I've been drinking and I'm acting like a faggot but shit man I'm sick of living such a lame existence but I don't wanna fucking kill myself either. Why are people such garbage?? Or am I the true garbage????? Teach me master. Fuck man.

I like to play two songs at once on a computer at my doorway while taking a shower and writing the music I hear.
The sound waves are heavily distorted by the distance and water while your brain finishes the rest making it coherent.

You guys this is not my fault...

I can for sure make your sister and gf cum several times over lemme

You can say that but until I have proof that there's no proof, there's proof.

Finally stopped stuffing my face with cheeseburgers every half hour and am planning on quitting the late night ice cream.
I think I might make it yall

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>Salieri

you can do eeeet

Right. There is no proof to believe in such nonsense.

Prove it.

prove that there is

I don't remember shit being so garbage all the time for no reason ever. Seriously what the fuck man. Maybe I'm behind and I have find the right scene or something but that's retarded. Living a decent life comes first and foremost. If I have to humble one more time I'm gonna fucking rip my fucking eyeballs out. "Oh well you're just shit that's why you gotta be humble all the time", well fuck you too. How much bullshit did *you* have to eat to get to where you are? Tell me that.

You are a part of this BS.

I don't eat BS.

You are free to do whatever you want.

Have you asked for help from anyone else who is also knowledgeable in music? What do you mean by real user?

Prove that there is what?

You have no idea what hell I have gone through. No idea at all.

I hope you know that you killed me. You really did.

How's the wifi in the afterlife?

Nonsense you had to eat shit again and again really fucking grit those teeth to get where you are. Whatever you have you bled and cried for it. I might be shittier than you but I didn't suffer like you did, asshole. Fuck man. Humility is fucking garbage. Fuck all Asians for believing the opposite. I just wanna fucking get to a good a place, not cope with a shitty place. Fuck, why is that so fucking hard? I deserve it because I fucking exist and I feel real shit. Idk what you go through but if you're goddamn resilient why don't you absorb all my bullshit and let me get what I want? I'm not being humble for your worthless ass.

I’m not ready to die, im scared, there’s so much I have yet to do, accomplish, experience, I’m too young..., I hope my sister will be okay

I will die soon dumb ass.

Do you text her if she didn't respond to the last piece of nonsense you sent her?

You don't matter and you never will.

>received 5k windfall
>have 9k in credit card debt from being unemployed for 6 months
>just paid 3500 for it, will probably do another large payment next month but I'm still not confident in my new job
>don't even get to enjoy the money, it just vanishes
my life sucks.

no u wont

You pain 3500 for the windfall or the debt?

it all sounds so fake. you know when you listen to a song and it moves you? my music lacks that quality. I listen to it and I feel nothing but boredom.

Fine.

Family is bullshit man. It only exists to put you in moral binds which you can never shake.

Look I'm not looking for heaven, I can deal with some bullshit. All I'm saying is it shouldn't be 50/50 or worse.

I have cancer asshole.

youtube.com/watch?v=IyVPyKrx0Xo

Do whatever the fuck you want, I don't give a shit. No one cares about you.

What kinda cancer? Was this a gioyc to god or cancer?

I. Fucking. Wish.

paid 3500 on the cc. i got charged $200 in just interest last month. I might go back and add more to pay it off quicker, idk. At my current budget my pay will leave me with 1500 each month after all my expenses/rent. I don't know if that's even good, it sounds like piss to me so idk. Still have 30k in student loans, too. god i hate life.

I might buy new shoes, idk. Yay.

youtube.com/watch?v=8KpKc3C9V3w&list=RD8KpKc3C9V3w&start_radio=1

Maybe you should study more scales and chords. Try paying more attention to other forms of music that move you and figure out why.

>I might buy new shoes
Was bouta lay some financial advice but nah
Figure it out

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thanks user

I deserve somebody I can torture and abuse

Maybe you could let others listen to it and give feedback.
See if it moves them.
Maybe you're too critical of your work.

fuck off before I fuck you off

Dat boi back at it again
What were you up to?

AAAAAAA. I find myself falling for a guy again. He's been helping me with a lot of stuff lately and just kind of going out of his way to do so. Makes me happy and makes me laugh. I find myself staying up late just to talk to him while he works. But he lives fucking states away and I know it will be like every other time and it won't work out.

fuck him up

Chill out dude people move states over or even countries over for jobs. It's quite possible that you'll move in together someday

I want to use and abuse women that all they're good for

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WTF IS THAT!?

I just need enough money to get a place of my own so I can get my girl away from her abusive parents. Why the fuck it gotta be so hard to get ahead?

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Women deserve abuse

nani the fuck

this is so shitty but I've ben through way shittier
I just want good shit finally, not half-decent shit or not-shit shit, like legit good shit to happen
fuck I don't care what it takes, fuck gratitude, humility and the rest of your fucking virtues
I deserve this.

At least I know my ramblings will never reach him. This is my freakout zone and it is safe to freakout here. Hopefully one day the storm will be calmed and I won't post here ever again, hopefully that day will come soon. I just wish I could snap my fingers and end this gay obsession why is it so hard for me why him in the first place why anything. My life is really good right now except for this

Hey~ it's me j OwO *nuzzles you*

They're my words.

Why do I want to know you so badly? Why. What is it?

nah man fuck these people
all of them
I so fucking serious I hate you all so much fuck

I'm the only J allowed to make cringey roleplay posts in this thread, fucker.
*slaps my sopping wet pussy against your face and suffocates you*

k

youtube.com/watch?v=i0vqgN2re0k

I've been so stressed out lately and the thoughts keep me up. So lately, I've been resorting to sleeping aids 3-4 times a week, but I'm scared I'm too dependent. Unfortunately, I'm locked into this terrible situation (my own fault, but irreversible) for five more years, so I have to learn how to cope plus how to not let people live in my head rent-free

l-lewd

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