Whenever I ask how to get a gf somebody eventually asks how many girls I've asked out this year and the truth is 1
>your next line is "that stupid owl turd comic"
Seriously though rejection hurts how the FUCK am I supposed to get a loving gf?
Whenever I ask how to get a gf somebody eventually asks how many girls I've asked out this year and the truth is 1
just ask more girls and get rejected
after enough times youll give up and watch genetically gifted dudes fuck the cute innocent girl you thought liked you
good luck
I don't want to be shot down, that's emotionally painful.
I'm lucky I think I outgrew those now.
Cute innocent girl #1 is still in the same relationship she was in since high school, which is nice.
Cute innocent girl #2 turned out to to just be a whore who's good at acting, so I see her con other guys and backstab her friends to try getting D and getting alienated by the social circle she pushed me out of because karma is a bitch.
>whore who's good at acting
nobody tells you this, but its the female version of the chad player
if showing manliness, being assertive and sweet talking girls into bed is the male game, then acting cute, innocent and reserve is the female game
Hey user.
It's great that you recognized what your problem is and are trying to get help with it.
There are a handful of ways you might want to consider going about this.
First would be to get some more support irl going through this. Rejection hurts less when you have some rooting for you to share your failures and wins with. Find someone empathetic to your plight or maybe even in the same boat and try to help each other out. You want to form a network of people you care about who can also be your cheerleaders when you tackle things that matter to you.
Second is to realize that it's okay if it hurts (to an extent). This is something that matters to you and that's why failure hurts. The important thing is to contextualize that pain, acknowledge it for what it is and not let it get out of hand.
Third, it's okay to take a break every once in a while if you aren't up to it. There must be a handful of other important things in your life that are worth focusing more on. Maybe you can take a season or two off from trying to date and buckle down on focusing on them. It's important to feel like you're making progress in at least one area of your life so if you feel like you can't move forward in dating right now, focusing on something that does feel like you can realistically make progress in.
Also don't forget to talk to people about this. Let your friends and family know you struggle with this and it makes you sad.
If you are too scared of a fucking girl telling you no, then you do not deserve the benefits.
No warm tits at night, no singing while they cook dinner, no pussy for dessert, no clean cozy bed that smells like fruit.
You get nothing.
>how the FUCK am I supposed to get a loving gf?
user, there is no loving girlfriend. You are the man. You fuck her and protect her and she nurses your wounds. She is not and will never be your mommy, and she absolutely will reelect a guy who is literally too afraid to speak to her. I think the best thing for you at this point is to get into hard drugs, get involved with some bad people, get your ass beat, and return to the dating market with your soul beaten out of you. Then you will be ready to fuck
I'm not some macho womanizer though, I have low self esteem and poor self image, I'm scared of conflict and I avoid the things that stress me out. I've never had a gf or been loved by someone hat wasn't my mother, and the portrayals of romance that I've seen in media usually involve a man being loved deeply and unconditionally by a woman. I KNOW real life isn't Romeo and Juliet but I just can't get over it, I don't want to be hurt
Learn not to care about rejection. You have no connection to the person at that point so why care if they reject you? What will be, will be
life is pain
How old are you?
19 why does it matter
something is special when it's rare. you want to dull the pain of rejection then you must get constantly. live in it. swim in it. when you constantly hear no it loses meaning. just spend all your free time collecting no's and see how many you can get how quickly. it's pretty fun.
Why do you care so much about someone saying no to you?
>I don't want to be shot down, that's emotionally painful.
Why? Why is it emotionally painful? Why do you give someone that much control over your emotions? Don't you want to be happy?
i dont know if you guys are pretending to be retarded, but rejection from a woman is painful. its literally 'your genes are not good enough, bye'. there isnt a worse insult than saying youre not fit for the only biological job you have in life.
>Why do you give someone that much control over your emotions? Don't you want to be happy?
It's inevitable, dude. And the key is to not care about the girls until after you are officially dating. That's how normies do it. Sure, it's not as exciting or passionate that way but if you wait until you fall in love mutually with someone you really care about, you may take forever to meet someone like that or maybe never even.
Life unfortunately is not that exciting and if your priority is to get a gf rather than to have a meaningful relationship, you need to stop caring about girls in a deep way, do not think any girl is special. Do not invest your feelings or thoughts into a girl. Until you are actually dating her, THEN you are allowed to care for her specifically.
Because if you care too much about a girl you are not dating, you don't even know if she will reject you yet and the rejection will be painful. But if you don't care that much about her, the rejection won't be a big deal.
And yeah, it's a numbers game. I'm almost 100% sure that most couples fall in love AFTER they have started dating. So DO NOT fall in love with a girl you aren't in a relationship with. Think of it more like "you are looking for someone to fall in love with" rather than "you are looking to go out with the girl you have already fallen in love with".
It's not too late basically. You are probably acquainted with many women. Just keep meeting and interacting casually. It will be very obvious when they show interest. If you've had more than a few casual interactions and nothing comes of it move on. Don't overextend or commit feelings. Ask the ones that show interest.
Accept rejection and move on. It's life. Just browse some incel forum for a few days and on to the next.
Not OP, but that seems way too much effort than girls are worth. I'm 19 too and never fucked a bitch, but prostitutes seem way more appealing than dealing with the entitled cunts that modern women are.
You are in denial and will regret in time.
22 and feel the same way. I'm planning on going to Thailand, losing my virginity, and having a sex vacation. Working on losing weight between now and then. Hopefully I do better on Tinder over there than here.
Denial of what? I've been rejected by girls before, definitely not worth it.
girls are so shitty to be around
same with dudes and then adults are fucking trash
I wish everyone would die
Too much effort? What I meant was that you shouldn't put at least any emotional effort into trying to date someone. If a girl doesn't look interested don't try to get her interested, just move on to the next.
If that's too much effort I think you guys don't really want to date, you want to jump skip to already being in a couple.
I think it just feels like effort because you either don't have practice or you don't have much interest. Which is okay because nobody should force you to have to date or to have a gf. You shouldn't feel like you have a social requirement to have a gf.
And if you feel like it's too much effort because some people just mutually fall in love with no effort, well those people are just lucky. Luck is really a factor, it's unfair but it's true.
stop giving every girl you ask out all of your energy and shit man, approach things thinking that you're not gonna get what you want and don't care as much and results may surprise you and even if they don't, well you'll move on faster because you didn't give it your all
people cant turn off feelings, were not robots
Why do something without expecting a reward?
What a fucking movie line excuse. Why would you take rejection as anything more than
>She's not interested
? Why do you blow it up into this
>It's a rejection of your genes, your humor, your entire existence
bullshit. You ask someone out, they so no, go back to doing something else. An entire generation without father figures is ruined.
What does being raised by a single mom have to do with it
But it's a numbers game, user. It's like saying "I don't want to roll the dice, because I'm afraid of losing".
I'm kind of pulling this out of my ass, but it seems that on average girls reject men at least 2/3 of the time, unless you're a literal chad alpha 3000.
Being hurt is part of the learning process and it's normal. You won't grow muscles without some pain either.
This isn't an /a/ NTR recommendations thread mate.
Mail order and phone salespeople are thrilled if they get 3 sales out of 100 tries. Rejection is built into the game.
Stop thinking of a rejected invitation as being a personal affront. You're not asking her to marry you, just to spend a few hours with you, so the loss is not a major one
How do I ask someone out? What do I do with them?
Because you are afraid of rejection.
How would fearing rejection make me want to work for free? Or do any task without receiving compensation?
What a pussy lmao
I meant to say: how would *not* fearing rejection
What a dumb analogy.
You want to receive a compensation eventually.
Think of job interviews. You have to put in an effort to go to a lot of job interviews knowing that in most of them it will result in nothing, but eventually you will go to the one job interview that will land you a job. Dating is the same, you try to date a bunch of women and eventually find the right one. Besides, women may reject you but even if they don't reject you, you don't know if you really like them until you are dating them.
You can't just go and get a job instantly. You can't just go and get a gf instantly. Well maybe you can but then it's just a matter of luck and you can't control luck.
This is dumb too.
Ok then give up and never have a girlfriend.
You know the difference between you and guys who have girlfriends? The latter have been rejected multiple times. It's like you are the biggest chickenshit in history.
No, I generally go to job interviews hoping for a job. Maybe not expecting but definitely hoping. And I only apply for jobs I have a shot at *and* want to do.
>It's not too late basically.
How about 27?
Same thing with women. Why is this so hard to understand? Do you lose your shit every time a job interview doesn't get you a job? No? Then apply the same mindset to women.
What do you bring to the table that anyone would want to date?
absolutely nothing
what does the average man bring?
You're gonna be stuck with roasties settling down or raising another man's child. Small chance of finding real love.
The average age for getting married is 30. Try again, dumb lying incel.
If you're this insecure and hypersensitive, then you're just not fit to have a girlfriend. That's the truth of it. Why would any woman respect you? Instead of looking for a gf, you should be fixing yourself mentally and emotionally.
>he thinks getting married means you aren't a cuck or settle
Why do you think the divorce rate is so high? that's not even including marriages that are unhappy but forced. Marriage is ceremonial, not an actual happy ending.
>stuck with roasties settling down
Why do so many morons on this board think that women only date guys their own age? Women in their early 20s are still into guys who are in their 40s.
OP wants loving gf, not golddiggers
That's because the guys in their 40s have money, and their "sugar babies" are fucking other guys on the side
For a girlfriend? You've got to at least be into the other person for more than just sex.
>women are either gold-diggers, roasties or will cuckold you and all marriages are a sham and end in a divorce
Nice Jow Forums mentality you got there, son, that will get you far in life.
>girl into guy because he looks good
>stupid roastie only wants Chad studs
>girl into guy because he's successful in life
>stupid roastie is a gold-digger
There's always some problem for you, isn't there?
The logical conclusion to these mentalities is they want a mother girlfriend who makes all the moves, who loves them with all their failures and lack of wanting to better themselves.
This is amazing on-point advice. Seconding.
Divorce rates have been decreasing for a long time. Seriously, why can't an incel like you say something true just once?
Any reasonable person would say that someone primarily attracted to looks or status is shallow.
Yes but they would also be lying.
Nah there is a difference between simply wanting to feel attracted physically to your partner and making it the primary reason you are with them.
I don't have a shot with any woman that I want.
Ugh
It's not the primary reason but it's an important reason that can't be ignored.
>if you don't want to waste dozens of hours, money and energy on some 5/10 who might not even put out, you're in denial
Yeah no. I'll enjoy my whores, thanks.
Who is that in OP, she's kinda cute
Rejection is a part of life. It's also not necessarily indicative that you're a low value person. Someone gets shot down for a retail gig. Do you think it's because they're a stupid lazy bum? Nope. It's because the interviewer didn't like them. Some expect you to smile the whole time and make eye contact. Others are looking for specific character traits that make you easy to control. It's almost a good thing for you, forces you to shop around a bit.
So it is in dating. Some of those chicks turning you down are going to be popping out bastards with the absolute worst society can offer. They don't value the right things. A lot of the people who get into retail over you are going to steal and do drugs on the clock.
I wanna see that owl turd comic.
kirstpoe
A lot of people don't have to put in much effort, or at least it comes naturally to them.
Not saying that's an excuse to not put in effort (if you want that kind of life that is), but pretending that it's not easier for some is retarded
>Not saying that's an excuse to not put in effort
So we're in agreement but you just have to be an annoying bitch about it. Good I'm glad we agree.
>you just have to be an annoying bitch about it.
Where did that come from you fucking moron? I'm not OP. I don't even feel involved because I don't care for the normalfag life, don't lump me in with the whiny cunts.
What works for me is being as great a man as I need to be to feel proud of myself, and then waiting for a woman who is attractive in both body and mind to openly recognize that and pretty much throw herself at me. Obviously that doesn't happen frequently but that's okay. Even if I ask out one woman in an entire year there's nothing wrong with that. Like you said, I'm looking for a loving gf. If I have to try 100 times and 99 times I'm not convinced she's THAT into me, how will I ever succeed? I'll almost always be wasting my time on a dead end. In summary I don't think you're supposed to get a loving gf by being impatient.
>Seriously though rejection hurts how the FUCK am I supposed to get a loving gf?
Seriously though, working sucks, how am I supposed to make money?
Seriously though, getting up and walking sucks, how am I supposed to turn off the light?
Seriously though, campaigning and fundraising sucks, how am I supposed to run for president?
Seriously though, getting caught by the police sucks, how am I supposed to rob a bank?
Seriously though, cops getting shot sucks, how am I supposed to stopped the arm bank robbers?
Dude, op, everything in life has a price. either pay it or stop complaining.
Yo is that a jojo reference?
I doubt OP actually wants advice. He just came here to vent, considering he's ignoring every piece given to him.
Yes it is fucking easier for other people but there's nothing you can do about it. You can't control luck.
I got through this hurdle by intentionally approaching girls I knew would reject me. The fact that I was able to take rejections without much care made it easier for me to go after girls I actually wanted and move on if they said no.
You have good advice, but it makes too many assumptions about what options a person has available.
There's no area in my life that I can progress anymore. Everything's held back by the things I don't have, which in turn is likely what keeps me from having those things. I'm a failed human, a genetic dead end. How funny it is to see such a dismal statistical certainty from within.
Not him but how do you learn to not care about the girls? Just find something far more interesting than them and focus on it?
play dragon quest op its really good
Like 4 bucks on phone
I don’t want to become numb. I’m already emotionally numb to just about everything and the idea that I could be ambivalent to even a potential partner is horrifying. In all my life, I’ve never cared for anybody in any meaningful capacity. I want to feel the things that come naturally to other people, not transform myself from an autist into a sociopath.
>ask girl out
>she says no
>okay
>ask girl out
>she says no
>okay
>ask girl out
>she says no
>okay
>ask girl out
>she says yes
>I now have a girlfriend
>been dating for 4 months
Wow who would have thought that not giving up on the first failure would lead to success?
If your not willing to put in the effort you don't really want to succeed.
If you want to get stronger you have to go through the pain of working out.
You want a girlfriend you have to go through the pain of rejection.
It absolutely blows my mind that you’re asking all these girls out. I mean, are you really that interested in any of them. I’m 22 and I’ve never met one who I felt I wouldn’t be merely tolerating. It seems to me like you’re prioritizing the idea of a relationship in the abstract over the specific. However, I can’t argue with your results if you believe you have a genuine connection with your gf. Most people just don’t seem that appealing to me, so while the general advice that you have to approach girls rings true, it falls apart when attempting to apply it to any specific girl.
>ask girl out
>she says no
>okay
>ask girl out
>she says no
>okay
>ask girl out
>she says no
>okay
>she makes up a story to her friends and orbiters that you sexually assaulted her
>wait what
Weak gay psyops. Will you stop already?
Holy shit that sounds resentful
How do I put in effort when I don't even know how to do the work?
That's like saying "you just need to take the test!" when you haven't ever been taught the subject.
Talk to girls. Ask them out.
Happened believe it or not.
Steer clear of single girls with orbiters. Fucking psychos.
Keep getting rejected until u don’t, or live forever alone, or off urself
The only way out is through, sorry to break it to you
you sound young. Rejection isnt that bad. Who is this person that their opinion is so valid? They just met you, they dont know anything about you, if they reject you brush it off, their loss, you don't care. People have this power over you only if you let them. Be kind to yourself and take risks.
Do you think you will be happy with yourself as a victim in 60 years when youre on your deathbed and still going on about how youre a victim and women are bitches? You're doing yourself a disservice. Even if you are the hunchback of notre dame, is it better to never try and hate your life or to at least do something about it and if you die alone, you at least tried
Look, if youre not dying, its not too late
yes, better yet have a life goal you work towards. More inportantly you realise that
a) girls are people too and thus flawed
b) you take rejection on the chin and move on
c) you get through the no's to get to the yes's
Even if you don’t ask, it doesn’t change the fact that they think you are a loser in their mind.
You are projecting and desperately trying to find a reason not to do the same thing. To find out if you like somebody is the whole point of dating. You dont ask a girl out and if she says yes then thats it till you marry her. Youre an interested party too and if she doesnt please you then you find somebody else. Asking girls out is the first step to finding out if she is who YOU want