23 and never been on a date, never kissed, never been liked by a girl. Aside from that I'm a normal guy with a social life, friends, about to graduate from uni next year. How fucked am I? Do I have any hope of ever getting a date at this point?
23 and never been on a date, never kissed, never been liked by a girl...
Bump please
You aren't "fucked". That's your first issue.
You need to change your mindset from "It's all over for me" to "How can I improve?"
Tell us more about yourself. What do are your hobbies, your interests, etc.
You go to Uni, yeah? What are you studying? Why?
Use this thread as a testing ground to learn a bit more about yourself and how to talk about yourself.
Keep in mind that the first steps of the dating game consist of communicating yourself to others.
download bumble / tinder
take your guy friends out to bars once a week
don't rush things
better to date someone that you have mutual interests with than some random
>What do are your hobbies, your interests, etc.
Playing guitar, theatre, reading, football, basketball
>You go to Uni, yeah? What are you studying? Why?
English literature. I find it interesting and engaging
>Keep in mind that the first steps of the dating game consist of communicating yourself to others.
Maybe I'm not good at that. A girl friend of mine told me sometimes i seem closed off to other people. I don't do that intentionally
How many girls have you asked out OP?
I don't really ask any. Like I said no girls ever liked me.
Oh I see. So how many girls have you openly told them you like them then?
I've never done that. When I like a girl, I basically do everything possible to not reveal it to her.
found the problem sir
people aren't mind readers
What's the alternative exactly? Like I said, no girl has ever liked me. Girls only ever treat me as a friend. Me "confessing" to them isn't gonna change that.
you seem to have it twisted
no non psychopathic women is going to fall head over heels in love with you overnight and confess her undying love for you
relationships usually start as friendships first
So let me get this straight. You do your best to make sure you never let women know you like them but expect them to straight up tell you that they are into you and want you to ask them out?
Why are you bitching about not getting any dates when you actively avoid them?
Right. But you don't seem to be understanding what I'm saying. Girls only ever treat me as a friend. I've never been flirted with with any serious intent behind it. I never get longing glances across the room from girls. I always hear of girls I know having wicked crushes on guys, but no one ever seems to have a crush on me.
Like, I don't know what you're trying to tell me to do here. I make friends with girls and that's great, I enjoy those friendships. But none of them are magically developing into relationships like you seem to be implying.
I mean I'm kind of scared to show girls that I like them, because all the girls I like only ever treat me platonically, so I'm scared of the inevitable rejection and being viewed as pathetic by them. Admitting to a girl that I like her makes me vulnerable, it gives her power over me, especially if she doesn't reciprocate those feelings.
You have to find a fashion style that complements your personality and find a hobby of your interest
Well then you have literally zero chance of ever getting a date since you refuse to even try.
Did you read my earlier post?
What is "trying" in your mind? Because I seem to think I'm trying pretty damn hard, it's just no girl is showing any interest in me.
Would you not be concerned if you were a normal, socially active guy, but through years of meeting countless women at social events, through hobbies and on nights out, not one of them had ever expressed a sign of interest in you?
Alright, yeah. I can see where we have some areas to work on.
You are studying English literature because you find it 'interesting and engaging'.
That's cool and all, but for someone who is interested in the stuff other people wrote, you yourself seem to write pretty sparsely.
There isn't a shortage of keys here, go into detail.
Who'd you learn guitar from? Your uncle? A teacher? Or are you self-taught? What do you like to play?
Remember, Shakespeare isn't coming with you on your date.
Maybe ask your girl friend what she meant when she said you seemed closed off to others. That's fine by the way, don't take that personally and don't get depressed over it.
When you're with her, what do you talk about?
Have you actually put yourself out there AT ALL? Have you:
>asked a girl out
>gone to singles bars
>used dating apps
>been set up by a friend
>made equal attempts to socialize with both males and females
If you don't do any of these then holy shit why are your surprised? I'm ugly as fuck and found a cute equally autistic GF on Bumble after a couple of months of use.
>you yourself seem to write pretty sparsely.
Don't wanna bore people with paragraphs of detail.
>Who'd you learn guitar from?
Taught myself. I was always into music. I play songs mostly from alt rock bands, and I'm starting to try and write my own bad shit too for fun.
>Maybe ask your girl friend what she meant when she said you seemed closed off to others
Just that I come across sometimes like I don't like people (even though I do like them) and that it took a while of befriending me before she realised I'm actually a lot nicer than I seem.
Just in case it wasn't clear, I don't want to date this friend.
>When you're with her, what do you talk about?
Music, memes, things happening in our lives
>asked a girl out
No.
>gone to singles bars
What on earth is a singles bar? I do go to bars and pubs and clubs, yes, always with a group of friends.
>used dating apps
Girls don't respond to my messages on those.
>been set up by a friend
No friend has ever offered to set me up. In fact, no friend of mine has ever even gently indicated that anyone would be a "good match" for me or anything of the sort.
>made equal attempts to socialize with both males and females
Yes, of course ffs. I can socialise with girls, they just don't show any romantic interest in me. Like at all.
Are you fat? Do you exercise? How many photos on your dating app profile? Do you talk to people other than your friends at bars?
>Are you fat?
No, actually skinny.
>Do you exercise?
I play football (soccer).
>How many photos
5 or 6, I deleted Tinder though because no girls on there seemed interested in speaking to me even after we matched.
>Do you talk to people other than your friends at bars?
Sometimes. Some of my friends are really gregarious so often one of them will spark a convo with another group, and then I'll naturally end up speaking to those people too.
Tinder is shit, use different apps.
I tried bumble but the girls who matched with me never even bothered to send a first message.
>Don't wanna bore people with paragraphs of detail
You are here asking for help. We are here to help people. The more detail you provide, the more effectively can we help you. I assure you, if you write it--somebody will read it.
You seem to suffer from thinking you aren't interesting. Yet you have a thread full of interested people.
>Taught myself. I was always into music. I play songs mostly from alt rock bands, and I'm starting to try and write my own bad shit too for fun.
See? That's what I mean. That is cool. You taught yourself guitar. You write your own music. Don't sell yourself short. It's okay to be modest, but even modesty has its limits and can quite easily veer off into self-deprecation.
>Just in case it wasn't clear, I don't want to date this friend.
Loud and clear, chief.
Damn user guess every single girl on bumble is going to do that to you.
It's over.
>I'm scared of the inevitable rejection and being viewed as pathetic by them.
They may reject you, but unless you do something spergy and stupid they won't think youre pathetic. Most will be flattered and will respect you for having the balls to do it
Honestly,
1. GYM
2. Skincare (Curology is legit)
3. Purpose - Dont think about getting a girl if your life is boring right now or if you dont have any personal hobbies. You need to be your own man first.
4. Work on your career first and you dont have to seriously worry about pussy until your like over 28
All of the ones I matched with did.
If you have any specific questions I’ll answer them in more detail.
I just don’t know what else I’m doing wrong at this point. Feels like dating is an exclusive club that all the rest of the human race is invited to, just not me.
This may seem like a random question, but the reason I am asking it has a lot to do with how you responded to my post: What is your favorite thing to do while analyzing literature?
Not OP but I have worked my ass off for all 4 and I still don't feel confident. Wtf do?
>it's just no girl is showing any interest in me.
You are not showing any interest in them either so whats your point? You are a man so its your job to make the first move. Why whoudl they show interest in you if you go out of your way to make sure not to show any in them? Go ask some women on dates and quit bitching until you do.
Shit nigga you dumb.