>meet this guy at a bar last year >we've hung out a lot since then, usually other people and one on one like once >he's been in a relationship for three years, is a really sweet and gentlemanly guy >but last time we were together he was really drunk and a little touchy, and we made out (I was drunk too but not super) >I reminded him he had a girlfriend but he just kept saying it was complicated >told me today that he wants to date me >he also said he broke up with his girlfriend
He's really sweet but I'm kind of worried because it feels like he broke up because of me and it's a lot of pressure. And it feels weird but I do kind of have feelings for him. I haven't replied to him yet. What should I do?
Do you even know his girlfriend? Are y'all homies or something?
Ghost him. I can speak female, so since he dumped his gf for you, he obviously thinks that you're above his ex somehow, thus you have the high-ground currently. And since he's single now, he doesn't have the same sexual market value that attracted you to him in the first place.
>I can speak female
You're a retard. Please stop.
I'm speaking from the female point of view, so yes, women are very retarded.
Idk I feel bad like I caused it
No, I don't know her
Sorry, what? I'm not worried about his market value or whatever, I feel weird even though I do kind of like him
Yeah, great. Men are retarded; women are retarded; if you look under your seat you'll find a card from Oprah telling you you're retarded.
Nobody cares about your gender politics.
This is a question about some dude who decided that they liked one person more than another and was willing to leave them for them.
Sure, there are red flags there, but if you think about it in terms of "speaking woman" or whatever you said, then you're already shooting yourself in the foot.
People do the same fucking thing all the time, and they're usually retarded.
So unless OP literally knows this person, and cares about their hypothetical relationship with them, then that girlfriend is only whoever it was that the dude told them about in the first place, so there's about as much responsibility to them as there is toward Santa Claus or Amelia Bedilia.
It seems off, I'll admit, because they feel "pressure," but if they like the guy then they should fucking spend time with them and do whatever it is they want to with them.
I don't know why people overcomplicate these things other than what they imagine they'd have to explain to their friends.
>No, I don't know her
Then you don't know her. That's probably part of what's holding you up, because your only impression of who she is comes from him, which is obviously biased, and you suspect there's something about her that must have caught him in the first place that he'll expect you to have, but then again, like what if she's just a piece of shit and you could be the person he's been seeking, and you just trust that he's figured that out and he wants to be with you?
Opinions are like assholes, but everyone still has one.
This is not his decision to make: it's up to you whether you want to accept whatever advances he's making, and the best thing you could do is prepare a series of conditions for the relationship that you consider fundamentals, and which it's his job to either agree to or find someone else.
Carpe fucking diem, user. You're actually in the driver's seat, here.
>you'll find a card from Oprah telling you you're retarded.
He pretty much cheated on her. What if he did the same to me?
This is your biggest concern. It’s the reason why it’s pointless to develop feelings for people who are already in a relationship. If they cheat once they will cheat again.
Did he? Sounds like he broke up with her because he likes you better, if you're OP.
But even if he did, and he does it to you, then so what?
You have what you have when you have it, and then you don't have it anymore, and then you keep going with whatever you've had until you can't have anymore.
What if you cheated on him? You might meet someone you like better than him.
You keep trying to tell the future, you're going to find that the past is full of regrets you can't make up for.
Live in the present.
you are not causing anything. Its his life, his decision. If you want to be happy with him, be it, if you don't tell him that. He broke with his girl and will soon find another one if not you.
Decide what you want and do it.
You will waste your time. If he is doing that to his current gf then he will do the same to you when he meets another girl he becomes interested in.
sure, this is life. So you fear someone will leave bc he will find something better for him? What a victim mindset is that. I think always, there is no way he will leave me, bc he will always be in love with me. Other girls cannot compare with me.
If you are wirth him, he will stay with you, if not, he will live you for the next best.
He's lying OP. He's got a gf and hitting the bars and picked you up and he wants some side pussy.
Guys don't monkey branch like women do, they collect side pussy. When anyone tells you a relationship is complicated they're just too lazy to come up with a believable lie.
He could and might. I wouldn't date a guy who's willing to make out with another girl while he's still in a relationship because it's "complicated".
This, also >rebound relationships always work. I'd just move on if I was you.
Well he wants to see me one on one later this week and I said yes. I still don't know what I'm going to do. I guess I'll see what he's like