What's the point to anything?

Nothing is good. Nothing makes me feel anything but worse. Nobody likes me. I'll never have a happy experience.

Why shouldn't I just kill myself?

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things always change

user, don't do anything stupid. You'll find something.

find your own meaning
Go read Pluto

Can you be more precise on your situation?
I'd like to know what's actually making you feel worse

>Can you be more precise on your situation?

>wake up early
>go to work
>work makes me feel like worthless garbage and a failure every day
>get home to my shitty apartment in white trash neighborhood
>sit in my apartment all evening, not talking to anyone (no friends, family hates me, coworkers hate me)
>don't get any fun from anything anymore, not even electronic entertainments
>just sit there bored for hours until I sleep again
>health deteriorating
>hate everything about my appearance
>have seen 5 mental health "professionals" who have only made things worse
>have tried killing myself 5 times now but too scared to do it

I'm not the original questioner, but here's my take. You said you have no friends and your family hates you. This as an asset. Why? Because you have no dependents. It means you won't feel bad for killing yourself and hurting loved ones.

BUT, it also means you're free to take crazy risks in your life because you have no one that these actions will affect.

If you're really that unhappy with your job, frigin quit. Yeah you might end up homeless, but fuck it, can't be worse than you're feeling now right?

Health deteriorating and Western medicine not working? Find a naturopath or Ayurvedic practitioner. You either get better, worse, or stay the same. Again, could it actually be worse than what you're feeling now?

Hope you feel better user.

I see.
From what I can see, you are in a very difficult and delicate position atm. I'd first suggest you to take a different look at your situation even if it seems impossible. Taking a closer look at what you do and what you see can sometimes be somewhat surprising.

Also, I have some questions:

Do you have any method to make friends? (Online, IRL, etc.)
Have you tried searching for any new way to get entertained, or have you only tried old methods?
Do you have any chance of changing your job?
Your problems with your coworkers and family are somewhat possible to solve or are you in an absolute dead end?

>Do you have any method to make friends? (Online, IRL, etc.)
No. I'm a very unlikable person all around and I've tried and failed to gain self awareness of that while in the presence of people so I end up never connecting with anyone.
>Have you tried searching for any new way to get entertained, or have you only tried old methods?
New things never catch my interest. I've lost interest in the things I liked before. Even tried picking them up and they just didn't do it anymore.
>Do you have any chance of changing your job?
>Your problems with your coworkers and family are somewhat possible to solve or are you in an absolute dead end?
They hate me for the same reason I can't make friends. My family also hates me for being unsucessful romantically

are you me?


Just know this OP.

Everyone dies and everything eventually falls apart. If you can understand that you can beat feeling useless.

Here is a few examples of struggles that go through my mind at least.

How long do you think your job will last? Got a degree and going into a career? Cool! Maybe you'll have a job that lasts at most 10 years. Then after 10 years you will be older, competing with younger, cheaper people in the job market. Hopefully you kept up with your CI(continuous Improvement) over the years! If not you might be hopping job to job and floundering in middle management roles until you get old enough to go homeless or live on a fixed income.

Hows your health? Are you eating right? Do you workout? If you do both of those things, great! You are doing good maintaining the systems of your body. You will last longer to see your family fade away. Funerals will be common and eventually you will start losing a step in your workouts. No longer can you keep up doing 1 hour workouts at the same intensity. Your body will fail you, don't need to be a pro athlete at that. How about eating badly as well? You enjoy those hamburgers and all the other shit. Good luck living into your 60s with a change of congestive heart failure or type 2 diabetes.

Really life sucks ass. Just realize you are going to die one day, probably broke and fat. OR you could pick you shit up and get a family and at least carry on somewhat of a legacy. It might not be much and you might be miserable but strive to create another generation and encourage that generation to have children as well. At least you would be a footnote to your great grandchildren.

Okay, you're truly fucked.
I think that the only steps you can possibly make to improve your situation are the next:

Take small steps to solve your personal issues (appearance, self confidence, etc.). It's important to have patience in order to achieve any improvement, so don't get too worried if you think that it's taking too much time/effort or that you aren't changing as much as you want. Taking things calmly can bring some success (which considering your situation, is better than none)

Then, your next objective should be to find a new way to do things. With this, I mean that you should try different ways of approaching people (doesn't matter if they have a bad/neutral opinion of you, if it works, you may have improved the situation with the people around you)

Also, if you successfully go through those steps, you might try to start saving as much cash as you can in order to move from the shithole you live in and/or find a new job with as less economic problems as possible.

Finally your two last steps should be to make new relationships and try to improve your situation with your family. In order to do that, you can take your time until you feel comfortable enough to take the challenge or ask for any kind of advice in this board when the time comes. Also, as your family situation seems to be affected by your search for a couple, you should focus on trying (at least) to interact more with the kind of people you are into.

I know that everything I said seems unreachable, impossible or too difficult to happen, but the key is to have patience.

Your only possible way to improve your life is to prepare yourself for a new start or a radical change, so please, prepare yourself for the challenge and don't get frustrated, because if you do, you will end up giving up and returning to the same place.

It's either to follow my steps, saying "fuck it", or repeating the cycle until you kill yourself.

Listen to this user. This is solid advice.

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>Nothing is good
This is keeping me alive rn desu
seriously just realise that nothing is ever good enough for your own or others standards

anyone close to you will be sad. that's about it

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Yeah. You make a good point but it is just a fucking mess for everyone else when you die. You can alwas go the hobo route. I have a feeling that they are more enlightened than we will ever be.

do drugs op. get some weed if you can

How old are you? It's never too late to start a new life. Start exercising, make as many connections as possible, clean your living area, meditate and have a better inner dialogue. Improve yourself and everything will be the best it can. If you need to change your location, put as much money back for as long as you can take it, then you can have the clean slate I think you want.

Evolution is about telling everyone and everything around you in the plainest form possible, that you just don't give a fuck what they think anymore.

Evolution is the truest proof, like an uppercut straight to the face of a shit-talker, that you were always more important than them from the very start.

When they fall back onto the same old arguments and fall back onto the same points of contention, time and time again... that's devolution.

Break away from the pack. Only scrubs need another's help in this day and age of wealth and modernization... that's not evolution, that's desperation.

Remember, for future reference:

Associating with fools=Devolution
Making yourself, by yourself = Grand Evolution.

Stay thirsty.

Here's some ramblings. I'm not sure if there's necessarily any advice you can take from them. I wish you the best, user.

I've just recently gotten out of a psychiatric ward, and am for the first time in my life am on medications. Though they've helped my anxiety, I've still felt empty to until now. I'm not sure if this is just an episode that I'm going through, but I feel as though I've had a realization. God is the only hope for humanity. There is no other meaning. However, god does not exist. I reject all forms of creationism, spiritualism, and crude pagan rituals. It does not, however, follow that humanity is without hope. I've decided that my calling is to create a god. I doubt that I will ever achieve such a goal, though I hope to be but a single brick on the pathway that will lead humanity to that point.

because death sucks even harder

Don't kill yourself op I guarantee you're not seeing what you've got going for you.
>get home to my shitty apartment in white trash neighborhood
Move to a dorm room or get a roommate i guarantee you a big part of the reason you're feeling like this is because due to a lack of social interaction.
It tends to drive people a little crazy slowly whether they realize it or not. Talking to someone online and in real life are very different kinds of social interactions. Unlike electronic entertainments people are unpredictable and spontaneous just having someone in the room or in the house will change it's atmosphere and the moods of the peoples within.

>hate everything about my appearance
I guarantee you don't look as bad as you're making yourself out to be op everyone has good days and bad days.

Cheer up a little and do do some light exercise or anything really that'll let you see other fellow human beings

Recognize that the state you're in and the shittiness of your life is due to one thing and one thing only: CAPITALISM.

Join your local revolutionary leftist movement and start agitating for mass public disobedience. It will give you a sense of purpose in life AND will directly contribute to the end of the system that is keeping you poor, cucked and depressed.

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