Depersonalization? anxiety, depression and such

I have a ton of anxiety, so much so that yesterday I think I had a depersonalization episode
I went to the ER because I suddenly started feeling high out of nowhere, like as if I just smoked a joint. Im still not sure if it really was depersonalization

Ive been feeling really weird lately, spaced out, depressed, anxiety, etc

it may have something to do with the fact that I stopped drinking. ive been drinking a lot this last couple months and although I feel like its exactly what I need to feel better right now, I dont really crave it

tl;dr: Im going insane, pls help

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Do you have a job?

im in college

I was doing pretty well until I started getting anxious and now I get depressed and anxious while studying if im not drinking

What are you anxious about? And yeah drinking can have that effect since you're basically frying your brain with pleasure constantly, then having the opposite effect when you come back down. Also how much are you eating and sleeping?

drink some water yr dehydrated you fucking dustkike

college, but even when im not thinking about college im still stressed
I wake up stressed, I go to bed stressed

am not
im drinking plenty of bottled water

lel
>drown brain in dopamine rush from alcohol
>be alcohol junkie
>stop being alcohol junkie
>brain no longer gets dopamine from this prime source it found
>WHATTHEFUCKISGOINGON.EXE
And now you wonder why you are stressed? You arent stressed, your body/brain is. It requires its share of neurotransmitters being released and as long as you don't drink, that's not happening. So your body is stressed because you're not doing the one thing it wants you to.
Basically, just keep not drinking, this feeling will go away with time.

I just smoked like less than a puff of weed and I think I feel weird as fuck
usually it isnt enough to make me feel anything but rn I feel tired as fuck
typing is hard, I feel like ive been lifting weights all day long

I probably shouldnt have done it but man I didnt expect to feel this way, my brain has changed
I dont like it

>be alcohol junkie
I dont crave it tho

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shut the fuck up you junkie
you drank too much and now you're feeling the consequences

its not that bad desu, I could see myself riding out this withdrawal high if I didnt have school tomorrow
id watch anime and sleep all day

I slept all day
I woke up feeling like shit and decided to skip school

I felt guilty about it so I went for a run and im feeling better

not that anyone cares

>not that anyone cares
I refer you back to
>shut the fuck up you junkie
you know why you feel like no one cares, because you crave alcohol like a junkie and don't care about anyone except your liquor
stop with the liquor forever or just kill yourself you junkie faggot

Summers almost over?
probably worried about school

The last days of a students summer can feel surreal. if they have had a good summer they feel at ease and dont question.
If the didnt like their summer they feel bad and start questioning personal

>you know why you feel like no one cares, because you crave alcohol like a junkie
I feel like that because I have depression and also nobody cares
>stop with the liquor forever or just kill yourself you junkie faggot
I want to switch drugs, I want to try microdosing on shrooms
and if that doesnt work I will probably go down the rabbit the hole and keep doing drugs until I feel like killing myself

college is making me anxious but the feeling stays with me all the time

What makes you anxious about school?

What do you do when you are anxious?

>depression
>abusing drugs
lmao you're lying to yourself you know those two make eachother tick. stop dodging and change your life
don't do any sort of drugs
axtuall stop all drugs and wait for 3 weeks to 2 months
if "magically" your depression is not cured zthen sure whatever use your drugs
but for now your drug abuse is making you depressed and your depression is making you abuse drugs

>What makes you anxious about school?
homework, studying, responsibilities in general
whenever I remember I have to study my heart sinks, whenever I sit down to study I feel like crying and throwing a tantrum or on the opposite hand I get like this wave of tiredness and I cant focus on anything at all
im either always tired or anxious and usually both

>What do you do when you are anxious?
ive tried everything, this are the things that work the most for me
>meditating
>listening to music that I like, specially that 2 8 1 4 vaporwave album
>l-theanine, 500 to 1000 mg
>liters of "strong" melissa tea
>jogging
>playing/making music

none of those things really work, they all have work milagrously like a couple times (specially jogging and l theanine) but now they are unreliable

the only thing that I found that reliably works is alcohol, specially when I get shitfaced

forgot to mention fasting
it sometimes works and when it does it feels great

>stop dodging and change your life
why do you think I started doing drugs
I was feeling like shit before I tried them

>don't do any sort of drugs
it doesnt work for me
if im not taking ssri's, weird new antidepressants, booze or microdosing im most likely depressed and anxious
despite doing all the right things like the only way out of this is by microdosing imo but im scared that im going insane and shrooms just tip me over

Its pretty fucking awsome you engage in positive coping skills.

As far your your worries. It seems you are worrying about the inevitable.
You go to college , you're gonna have to study.

Recommendations: immerse yoyrself in things that are related to your academics to keep you motivated for learning.
Clubs, making youtube videos, educational promotional materials.
Just do your research.
Learn to be a good researcher.
plan a regimine.
Accept that this is just a part of your life, it could be worse.
You could be a darfur war orphan.
keep yourself focused on your goal.

And alternatively pull a subversion scheme.
You so pissed you gotta stay in an study while all you friends getting they dicks wet or holes streched.
What you gotta do is devise a way to make studying MORE enticing to do than anything else.

>Its pretty fucking awsome you engage in positive coping skills.
it is, thanks user

>What you gotta do is devise a way to make studying MORE enticing to do than anything else.
im studying music and ive found that watching better musicians like jacob colliers wakes something competitive inside of me wich is insane because he is literally a savant but it means that even if im delusional I have some self respect
I try to hold on to that feeling when I have to study, everything im doing is making me a better musician

youtube.com/watch?v=VPLCk-FTVvw&ab_channel=JacobCollierVEVO
every compositional choice he makes is literally the best one
he sings chords in different microtonal pitches and it works so well you cant even notice