Is it a deal breaker to guys if a girl has her body covered in self harm scars?

yes

It depends if she is willing to heal and how hard it will be to help her.

If I really liked her I wouldnt mind. Unless they're really horrible and it would bother me...

Guys who are really into them are just as fucked up as you giving them to yourself. I've met a few guys who had a fetish for it. It'll also scare off potential suitors who are mentally stable and don't want an unstable gf to put up with. Are you recovering from self-harm? If so, most people will pass them off and won't ask you about them until later on in the relationship. If their fresh, take care of yourself first before pursuing a relationship. It'll just end badly. Take my advice.

Well right now in my life I am still mentally ill and I have no idea how to recover but I really would like to. I have been cutting for years now. I guess it's my fault that I'm like this. My brain is broken. I don't deserve to be loved. I'm broken. I also have tried killing myself when I was a teen but it didn't work. Haha. I'm sure this will scare everyone away from me. I'm pretty fucked in the head after all...

The fact that it still happens and that you are not under professional care would raise red flags to me.

Not necessarily. It's hard to ask for help. Whether it's fear of being put on a slew of drugs or having to admit to your problems. I recommend helping out at events or volunteering. It's run of the mill advice but doing this actually helped me want to receive help instead of keeping it boiling inside me. I met some nice older women who would take me home and cook me nice meals since I was a homeless drug addict for awhile. One lady actually wanted to hook me up with her son. I almost took the offer since he was a nice dude who was going to school but my own insecurities in myself stopped me from going for the bait. It's all trial and error, user. I've felt like a broken unloveable bitch for a long time until I started doing things that helped me not feel this way. Selflessness may seem like a lost cause but the beauty of it is it distracts you from your own misery.

Y'know I was a in a psych ward once and I met a girl with BPD. She was the nicest girl there it's funny they have a bad reputation but my experience was the opposite. Anyways it seemed like most people there had that exact mindset that they are broken and won't ever improve. I wanted to tell them that psychiatry was a load of bullshit and was never going to help them because it isn't how you treat this stuff but I couldn't because they were still holding onto but also I really wanted to leave and I could tell the psychiatric nurses had the authority to keep me there much longer.

My point I am making is you aren't broken, that is the idea that the DSM ultimately ingraines in people's heads. It tells people they are mentally ill and it will be lifelong and there is no hope. But the truth is that you aren't mentally ill you are just severely hurt by horrible life experiences and the real cure is love. And I mean real love not someone who gives you money or clothes or food or whatever. I guess the point I am making is our society is very uncaring and cold at times and isn't abnormal or broken to react poorly to that. It's completely normal to feel like you do if you experienced pain, whether it is bullying, neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse, whatever it is your mind isn't broken for reacting like it does. All I can say is try to show yourself some love.

I've also found this man's videos to be very helpful to me. He is a very loving person you could try watching his videos if you want.
youtube.com/watch?v=_t6THwZatXI

No, but I find that they're not interested in me.
Broken women in general. It's funny, but I feel drawn to women with harsh pasts and mental illnesses, because I have a tremendous amount of fucked up baggage too. I've had women tell me they had a history with drug abuse on the first date, or that they'd been cheated on recently, or that their families abused them, and I wanted to comfort them, hug them, hold them close and cherish them until they woke up one morning and really believed that the world wasn't going to hurt them anymore. Even if it were just as friends, I wanted to know more about them and offer support.

They just kind of fizzle out on their own, though, or reject me outright. I found out one just got pregnant with a guy who's been mooching off of her for the 9 months they'd been together.

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Why are you getting rejected for being the best guy ever?

I think it's the autism.

What are you talking about? I wouldn't mind a guy being this nice to me. It's so refreshing and nice. It's perfect

Where do you live?

depends on how cute she is

Some guys, yeah. Some guys, no.

Depends on the mindset of the individual.

You don't really want to be with somebody who doesn't like you for who you are, though.

Third world country.

Just as an addendum: Fucking own that shit.

Our scars make us who we are. Just because you were hurting inside at some point doesn't mean you didn't eventually learn how to properly deal with this inner pain.

You aren't your past, you aren't your scars. You are who you are right here and now.

Don't base your value on how other people perceive your actions.

>Our scars make us who we are
They dont, OP made her own scar tissue, not the other way around

Massive red flag of daddy issues.

I do this too. I'm not afraid to wear shorts or wear short sleeves. I find most people won't ask about them and being honest, in a short and blunt way is a way of making people respect you or at least leave you alone. When someone asks, I just say "Hey, everyone's got problems" and people nod and agree, we smile and walk our own way.

Me too. Want to meet up in Chicago?

Depends, how recent they did it. If they have issues I'd try to help them get therapy, I wouldn't date them it's not what you should do when someone has serious emotional problems anyway.

I dont have money and why chicago

I was making a crack about Illinois being a third world country.
My snap's red7193, if you want to talk some time.

whoops

>A common metaphor is literally beyond me.

Absolutely i dont want a crazy girl with a bunch of problems. You could be a perfect looking but i still wouldnt

yes that's probably one of the biggest red flags you could get. though if they are really old and you seem stable to the point where i couldn't guess you had them until you showed me i wouldn't mind it nearly as much

Please, seek medical help first, relationships later. Do it for yourself and for your future bf, you don't want to go through the pain of making your loved one suffer.

>Is it a deal breaker to guys if a girl has her body covered in self harm scars?
Yes because you're obviously fucked in the head and driven by impulses

>self harm scars?
It's a massive red flag that you're an emotionally needy, self absorbed cunt, so a fairly firm yes.

>Scars period
No.

Unfortunately, yeah. Call me a dipshit but I prefer being the only one fucked in the head in the relationship. I keep my own trauma bottled up and out of the way so nobody has to be bummed out about it, and I don't need anyone else's skeletons piling up on me. It's for the best, for everyone involved, that I don't relapse and inconvenience anyone with my problems.

literally everything said in that post is wrong
>own that shit
don't. or at least don't show it off. it's ugly and disturbing
>Our scars make us who we are. Just because you were hurting inside at some point doesn't mean you didn't eventually learn how to properly deal with this inner pain.
it doesn't MEAN it but it means you are very prone to it and react badly to it.
>you aren't your scars. You are who you are right here and now.
you just said "your scars made you". are you quoting someone and pretending to be smart?
>Don't base your value on how other people perceive your actions.
how the fuck are you supposed to do that otherwise smartass? by self esteem? of someone who cuts themselves?
you sound like you just came out of tumblr. i would say this is bait but i'd rather imagine you understand the consequences of your actions and have some sense of morality

this

as long as i get to add some it's no big deal

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Yes. Maybe cover them with tattoos? I’d dig that

It should be, but there's a decent chunk of guy's with savior complexes who would jump at the opportunity to act out their hero fantasies.

Get help if you're in emotional distress. Your 18-20something boyfriend is not a mental health professional, and treating them like one will make you both miserable in the long term.

What was it already? You know the thing they say all the fucking time...
Oh that's right! "don't stick your dick in crazy" get some professional help sister, trust me it's worth it.

Tattoos are just as bad

As weird as it sounds I'm really into it. If you are a fully functioning person today it also shows me that you worked hard to improve yourself and faced some demons to get where you are now and I can deeply relate to that. It's just a lot of the traits self harming people often have that are a turnoff like being clingy, narcissistic or abusive. But if you're none of those things you're fine. Would date / 10

No, I find myself more attracted to women with a harsh background, more because I had a harsh one as well.

Alcoholism, Drug addiction, neglectful or abusive parents, self harm, sexual abuse, or being bullied
are some of things I've gone through in my life and I guess it just makes me feel more secure about myself when I'm in a relationship with somebody that can relate to and understand me on that kind of level.

THere should be a new rule. Post serious inquiries only and no retards allowed.

So OP either you are joking or you are a retard if you cannot figure this one out on your own.

On Jow Forums? You’re asking too much, it’s hard enough to get that on Reddit alone, and dare i say FB?
Is fb still a thing?

>Is it a deal breaker to guys if a girl has her body covered in self harm scars?
If it is a thing of the past I don't care.
But I would tell you if you do it again that you'll lose me.

I hate people that harm themselves or suicid, I did mistakes in the past as well but I learned my lesson and you need to learn this too.

>As opposed to the ugly ones that deserve to not be loved?
Don't act so high and mighty when you yourself would probably reject an ugly guy.

This, OP got thot patrolled.

Everybody does this thing like they deserve to love themselves. They deserve to be loved by somebody else. They are injured in some way if denied these things. They are broken or fucked in some way. They are injured in some way if they are broken.

Whatever. Everybody is just getting on with getting on. They are at different levels, they've had different upbringings, situations etc. How do you want to appear to the world? The world is going to judge you and that is fine because setting your own standards for yourself without the judgement of others is prone to delusion and disconnects you from a massive part of your humanity which is our society and social circles.

What is your story? I'm going to listen to it and try to understand you based upon my experiences. Is your story that you are a broken individual, incapable or unworthy of love or fixing yourself? Are you saying that you are unable to learn? To develop? To change yourself in any way? That you are done? Are you trying to get me to feel sorry for you? What do you want? Why do you need for me to feel like you need special treatment in order for you to get what you want from an encounter? Do you know what you want?

Is it a deal breaker for me? My last two relationships have been with girls with self harm scars. I'd likely assume that you might be at a certain point in a journey with that, but I'd wait to learn more about you before deciding if you actually were.

I'd be interested in your story. How you portray yourself. What you are bringing to the world. I generally don't like people who try to play from a position of weakness and assumed inferiority because it is manipulative and tiring and it isn't a positive motivation or positive reason to be around somebody. I like to kick ass and be good at life and prefer to spend time with those who are also kicking ass and being good at life.

For me no. My fiancée arms and thighs are covered in scars from way before and it has never bothered me. She hates then and wants to get them covered with tattoos but I see a slight beauty in them. To her it may be a constant reminder of her painful years but to me it is a reminder of why she is the person that she is today and why she is a person that I love and care for. I'm not against her getting them covered up at all, I just only wanted her to know that I love her regardless. I may start taking her for sessions to get them covered before we have a child though as it might be difficult for her if our kid ever acknowledges them out of curiosity and questions about them.

>wanted to comfort them, hug them, hold them close and cherish them until they woke up one morning and really believed that the world wasn't going to hurt them

If this is how you really feel than you should look the part. Become more masculine, become big strong a muscular, be someone that looks like they can really hold and protect a female. Also girls go crazy for a strong looking man with a soft emotional personality.

T. Someone who is dating a girl with a long history of mental health related issues and constantly has other girls talking to me about their problems and confining in me.

no, it just give you more reason to love and cherish her and remind her that she is worth living for

Not to me. I don't judge one's past as I don't want to have mine also judged. It doesn't matter who we are or how we live, we all suffered at one point in our lives. A deal breaker for me is if she starts showing signs of being unstable and not able to sustain a relationship.

>As opposed to the ugly ones that deserve to not be loved?
Yes

it's not a big deal if that's the girl I really like. I'd treat those as if she's got those scars failing from bike or something.

it's a definitive red flag. however, it doesn't stop me from trying to stick my PONOS in it

Yes. There's a phone number on the upper site of this board. Ring it. Explain why you hurt yourself, then we can fix things, a dinner or something i don't know...

Depends...

I'm in love with a fucked up girl, but I'm kind of fucked up my self. I think about saving her, and I want her to save me.

I think that's the only way something like this could work, and both should be commited to make themselves and each other better.

I idealize that as a perfect relation IF both are committed to save themselves and each other, if they're not.. I don't see it working. It'll be only pain.

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And also, I know I'm unconsciously looking for fucked up girls.

Because in my idealized world, I think we'll both save each other and will be invincible. And our love will be supreme.

But in practical terms I believe it's hard to happen. It'll probably be a very sad relationship.

By the way, I'm not dating the girl I like, it's just infatuation based on us being fucked up.

Good luck bro, but I think you'll have to have an iron will and an ability to love infinitely to be with a girl like this. You'll need to be calm and patient.

I know I have and I can be dedicated, but then...

>Is it a deal breaker to guys if a girl has her body covered in self harm scars?
It is not a dealbreaker to me. I am a guy.

Not exactly what you asked, but hey.
I can't read the minds of other guys.

yes, it is a dealbraker. they are a huge red flag and sign of you not being able to cope with everyday stress, so how are you supposed to cope with relationship?

As a woman, you can get a man no matter what state your body or mind is in. I was in a relationship band drowning in suitors when I was literally disconnectt from reality and didn't even bathe regularly.

also in practice, some people get offended if you try to help them, even if in your mind you're just returning the favor

Depends. Self harm comes in many faces.
I'm an alcoholic. Far more socially acceptable than cutting. But it isn't much different. I'd also say despite making a lot money abd having a good job my alcoholism is a yellow flag. As in any woman should probably take note and ask more questions before getting involved with me.
Same with self harm scars. Why do you do it? How bad is your shit, and how much will that affect our relationship.

>I'm sure you're not that bad,
Are you? It's a self-professed cutfag (cunt?) who posts on Jow Forums to boot. This bitch is probably as narcissistic and abusive as they come
The fact that you ask this shows you not only know the answer, but understand why it is so.

For me, yeah, that's a dealbreaker. but lots of guys are desperate and/or have white knight syndrome and will find it perversely attractive. Also some psychopaths like to target weak broken girls.