I'm an 18f. Reddit completely ignored my question so here I am. My stepdad is a sheriff and he put cameras in and around my car, obviously to monitor me, as he did the same to our house a few years ago. Just a few hours ago I was scolded for CURSING in my car, which made me realize not only was he constantly watching me, but there's also microphones in the car somewhere.
Whenever I have a problem with something he does, like tracking my location for example, he says "my house my rules." I thought he would lay off when I turned 18, but he seemed to actually increase the amount of monitoring. I'm still living with him and my mom because I'm in my senior year of HS, and I really don't have anywhere else to go.
Is this even a little bit legal? I would think I have more rights because I'm legally an adult, but I don't want to bring up legality to him because he's a sheriff and thinks he knows the law better than a lawyer (pic related).
I bet he watches you masturbate, too. His house, his rules
If he has old footage saved, of you at 17 changing in your room. You could report him to the police...
He wanted to put cameras in me and my sisters rooms, and the bathrooms, but my mom threatened divorce. So his solution was to never let us close our doors and never lock the bathroom door. My youngest sister doesn't even have a door.
Just bide your time for now, but make it clear that once you move out any further invasion of privacy is very very very not ok. Unless you can move out now or live with a friend till you graduate, you don’t really have a choice.
My mom also tracks me and stuff like that, but she doesn’t punish me. If she punished me for cursing while alone in my car I would have left. I’d literally rather be homeless than have that level of micromanaging
The fuck?! That shit is definitely illegal. Talk to your mum about it expressing your concern, because not only is that illegal, it's fucking creepy and wrong. He isn't above the law user, get a fucking lawyer if need be if this isn't resolved.
You are an adult now, i would stand up for myself.
Ignoring the potential of a creepy step-dad watching you for his sick shit I'd say it's a good thing you got someone like him there for you.
There are a lot of parents who don't give a fuck about their kids or their safety. It's annoying now, but when you get older you'll start to understand and appreciate everything your parents have done to keep you safe. The mic is a bit much, but at the same time you never know when it could be something you were glad you had in there.
Start acting super crazy and paranoid, talking about “the people watching you” and shit. Talk about the little eyes. If you do it well enough, maybe he’ll finally take them out and down.
Also I would 100% check your room and the bathrooms for cameras especially in tight spaces or vents
I tried to look at it like this for the longest time, but in reality I'm an adult now. Maybe I don't have all my shit together but I think its not right for him to be watching me like this. It's not like we live in a bad neighborhood. I live basically downtown, in a very gentrified area. I don't need to be "protected" this much. He tracks my phone and reads every text message I send.
something being creepy doesn't make it the little least illegal my friend and if he paid for the car, he can do whatever he wants
I don't know why he is so extremely fucking paranoid but I don't know what you can do apart of moving out in case talking doesn't work
>because he's a sheriff and thinks he knows the law better than a lawyer (pic related). LOL. No he fucking doesn't.
Honestly the fact that people like this are police officers just shows how we live in a society
user this is abusive behavior. You should first get in contact with a counselor, and then follow their recommendation to report this to wherever
You got a friend with a divorced mom? Move in.
Don't do something you'll regret He is still your father and would do anything for you. The people in this thread suggesting you to frame him for pedophilia? They wouldn't move an inch for you. You are an adult now? Great, solve this the way adults solve problems with their fathers: with respectful conversation. And if it doesn't work you respectfully move out of their house and thank them for all the care.
If you live under your parents house ,regardless of age, you have to legally abide by their rules. That being said , there is some freedoms that a 18 year old should have - let alone basic privacy. I would talk to your mom about how you literally feel spied upon and try to go that route. It is legal, but doesnt change how much of a over stepping of boundaries and trust it is.
I would try to focus on moving out so you dont have to deal with that any more. Are you going to college ? If you are that's going to be kind of hard to just move out completely.
I really don't have a problem with my dad putting a camera in the car but I agree the microphone is unnecessary. My room though? I think that's taking it too far.
I don't want to frame him for pedophilia, me and my sisters have to tell each other all the time to cover up when we catch him staring at us out by the pool. It is almost daily. He WANTED to put cameras in our rooms and the BATHROOM. Nobody needs to put cameras in the bathroom dude. I tried to talk with him about it and he sneers at me. He spies on us all the time. He doesn't let us leave the house unless its to see family. He is not a reasonable guy. I can't even talk to my mom about this.
its not so much about cameras in the car as it is an invasion of my privacy that I've had to deal with my whole life.
did you, knowing things were this way for as long as you have, make any escape plans?
do you own the car, itself?
do you actually have a mote of independence?
How do you know it's your Dad? You should look into gaslighting. That subliminal hum between your ears you confuse for your own thoughts could be someone you don't know. If it's not, as a real perverted motherfucker, I'd start by making you think it's someone you can trust. Why not your Dad? When you finally figure it out you'll have some incestual attraction to the stalker; and if it is your Dad, get a company to sweep your car (there are probably several in your area). You don't have to win, you just need to fight back.
I know its him because he told me he was gonna put cameras in my car.
I have an escape plan, yes.
The car is under his name
Don't know what a mote of independence is :/
are you retarded? he did it himself and reacts to things that can only be seen through the cameras
then you're basically in a holding-pattern until you can carry out your escape plan.
you'd best be ready to either have him resist, or cut you off from the rest of your family if he's as controlling and tyranical as your posts made him out to be.
you'll need to at least leave the county that he has jurisdiction in.
you could've looked it up, dope
Well i know mote is like a small amount or whatever but I thought you were referring to some legal document. No, I have no independence
Tits or gtfo >actually giving advice to a cross posting faggot larping as a female The state of this board
That's illegal, I'd call your local sheriffs office
Jesus christ, he sounds like such a cunt
He is the sheriff.
That is some over the top shit. Just because he's your dad doesn't mean he can't be a creep. I would bite my tongue and plot my way out of his control. I would also recommend to document everything incase it gets worse.
What would he do if he found out you had a bf?
Report his lard ass to child protective services.
Is the car registered in your name? If yes, then you can tell him to take out all the shit.
I've gone through something similar with my stepdad, he wouldn't do anything creepy though (Probably because I'm a male) but I soon as I finished HS I left, I was basically homeless for a few weeks until I turned 18 then I joined the Army.
He found out I had a bf when I was in 8th grade or so and he banned him from ever coming over to the house and then I got my life taken from me for a summer. I could barely leave my room. Since there's cameras in the house he would leave me at home when everyone else left (for groceries or something), and I could only leave to eat. I'm still friends with that guy and hes still not allowed to come over 5 years later
No the car isn't registered in my name
Being a woman I wouldn't really feel safe being homeless OR being in the army so thanks but no thanks
In addition to that my sisters were also not allowed to go in my room to talk to me
Then you have no rights, so sush. Go away. Go become an independent adult before complaining.
Who gives a fuck? Really, you live in his household and get to eat and sleep if you really want out go get a job and run away
Sounds like you already know the reason OP. LEAVE you're 18
Tits or gtfo.
He's definitely seen you naked. Hope you're cool with that
I would have never put up with this when I was 18. Move out asap he sounds like a fucking psycho. That's definitely not normal and depending on your state it might even be illegal (don't know too much about American laws so you should research this) the fact that he's a sheriff makes things a bit more complicated because he could easily ruin your life, so taking legal action might not be the smartest thing to do. Your number one priority should be trying to move out asap.
Not a lawyer so idk if monitoring you is illegal unless they're somewhere he could see you naked maybe but I really doubt he'll change his ways, I know it's cliched but you need to find some way to GTFO. Any understanding friends or relatives?
Everyone in this thread is right OP, you need to find a way out as soon as possible and preferably never make contact with him again. This shit honestly sounds like a horror movie
Pretty much all of my friends know but there is only one I could think would ever consider taking me in and I haven't really talked to them about it.
I'm gonna see what I can do but yeah I have no plans to ever talk to him again
So this is what a Black Mirror episode looks like in real life, huh.
This behaviour is not normal. I'd ask him why he feels the need to do it. Don't even get into the my house my rules shit.
The whole monitoring you constantly plus the privacy violations thing of not letting you have doors can be considered a form of abuse. Try contacting resources like RAINN that can get you connected with what you need to get out.
Idk how viable of an option that is because he tracks our phone calls and text messages
Then find a friend or a teacher (an adult you trust) and explain the situation to them. Get them to help you out, use their phone or computer, etc. Have them drive you to a lawyer and learn your rights and what is acceptable behavior for a parent and what isn't.
The next thing I would do is figure out where exactly all the cameras and microphones are in the house and your car. Then try to access the computer all the camera footage records to. Look for video or pictures of you or your sister naked and copy that shit for evidence. You also need to talk to your sister and make sure he hasn't molested her or anything. At the same time, you need to start looking for a job and save every penny you can.
If your real father is in your life try to go live with him or another relative. If you want things to get better, you're gonna need help and it sounds like your mom is useless.
This, plus teachers and councilors are mandatory reporters and it's always good to have a paper trail.
have sex with ur dad
>Stepfather He is going to rape you when he has the chance.
he comments on me and my sisters boobs and ass all the time
just move out lol
Document all of this and then when you have enough evidence take it to CPS.
record him doing that, it's inappropriate and could be considered sexual harassment
I tried telling my mom about it and she argued with me about how "he doesn't mean it like that"
Well I don’t agree with this It is legal to put surveillance cameras in a minors room that changes once you turn 18 tho kids have little to none privacy laws. Also it can be illegal if said minor is changing and is caught on camera there idk if he has rules where you can only change in the bathroom to get pass that. Once you turn 18 it is illegal to put cameras in what’s considered private areas like change rooms, bathrooms and room. I’m not sure about a car though I suspect that is legal as technically it is his property and as such people are allowed to install cameras on things they legally own and also he covered his ass as you know the camera Is there because he informed you. Though there is laws about recording audio without consent. So I’m not sure if he told you there was audio on what I’m guessing to be a dash cam? If it is in fact a dash cam and he informed you letting you know that there was and has audio and you still used the car he’s covered that way too.
Tell your mom his comments make you feel uncomfortable and you don't care how he means it, you want him to stop. Don't bother with your mom, she is useless. Talk to a teacher or your real dad.
>but there's also microphones in the car somewhere. Illegal, even in one party consent states. >I'm still living with him and my mom because I'm in my senior year of HS, and I really don't have anywhere else to go. Talk to your school counselors, talk to your friends to find a safe place in case he gets more overbearing. Maybe your friends parents will let you stay with them? It'll get easier once you graduate.
Real dad is in prison for possession of drugs
I'm pretty sure the car is under his name, so I imagine he'd say something like "you consent by using the car" and I live in florida which I'm pretty sure is two party consent
>Find a camera in your living room and masturbate while staring at it >report it to CPS >get a job and rent an appartment >pull an upperdecker
All this time and still no pics. Your fucking stepdad has seen you naked, you're getting all this fucking advice. Post tits, it's the best way to rebel against your crazy ass stepdad.
If there are cameras in the bedrooms and bathroom, we don't know they are there.
fucking look for them, also wht is the worst he could do to you, if you disobeyed him, locked your doors etc.
What difference does it make if its a dash cam or not? If it was some other type of camera would it be less legal?
Dash cams actually do not fall under audio laws in most states. Most states just require you to verbally let a passenger know you have a dash cam and it’s fully functional with audio. My state California specifically states dash canes do not fall under audio laws all a person needs is a note or sticker saying their dash has audio.
>He track our phone calls and text message Yet you are on here posting. I bet you could email or chat with a DV shelter or something
Idk if this is really domestic violence
It's abusive, controlling behavior. Fuck, you are full of excuses - if he's not he should be hitting you.
Sounds like a good idea but also depends on his motivations for the camera stuff. If he does it because he's somehow overly worried it might work but if he's really a pervert it might not (or cause more trouble?)
>His house, his rules That's abuse. She has no other options, and he is taking advantage of that.
He is definitely watching you when you're naked and fapping to it.
Why are you being such a cunt? Don't you get that at 18, he doesn't have to support you?
Who gives a shit you're in high school? Welcome to the real world.
If your mom wasn't a fucking degenerate whore, she would've had a decent marriage.
"Durrr is it legal"... I would've kicked you out.
Quiet you incel.
>Who gives a shit you're in high school? Welcome to the real world. It would still be immoral to just leave her as a parent. Imagine if all parents kicked out their kids when they turned 18. Think about the high school drop out rates and how primitive society would become in such a short amount of time.
Ugh what an absuive jerkoff of a "father" you have. Typical controlling fat man. Cant get his life together so he tries to control what he can.
The house and car are under his name, so he has the right to record anything that goes on in them. Since you are living in his home and using his car, he has the right to do so.
You will need to move out and get your own car if you want privacy
>The house and car are under his name, so he has the right to record anything that goes on in them. Since you are living in his home and using his car, he has the right to do so. This is not true. There's a point when it's absurd and considered abuse. There have been legal cases in the past over this.
I don't know how it is in the States, but in my country you need permision from the government to install security cameras, they have to be visible and there has to be a warning about the presence of cameras. Even if it's your own property.
Fuck off boomer, you can't just respectfully move out, you would have to quit college and get a Job to afford a home. You might as well tell a toddler to respectfully move out. Bullshit unhelpful advice that clearly came from a privileged perspective.
Talk to your mother about this and if she has nothing to say about it CPS will have something to say about it.
My mother denies anything is wrong and plays everything down, so I guess i'll be in touch with cps
I think after 18 they wont get involved. Not sure. Maybe just move out.
I still have sisters who live in the house who are under 18
Then you have a solid case. Also, I just checked the regulations for security cameras in the US and bedrooms are a big no-no, even in your own house. It's considered an invasion of privacy.
If you're 18, charge him with voyuerism. This will mean getting the police involved. From what you're describing, he sounds like a narcissistic voyuer and has deluded himself into thinking his actions are righteous despite having been borne from malicious and perverted intentions.
If anything don't lie to them tell them everything, because if you lie about some shit they'll just start not taking you serious, happened to me when my parents got divorced . GL OP
Your room is off limits but if the car isn't yours (your name on the title) you're out of luck. In general you can set boundaries or just tough it out and move as soon as you can. Parents like that drive me nuts. I have a girl and two boys and other parents look at me like I'm crazy that I don't have monitoring on their phones or anything.
It's perfectly fine to kind of hate the guy for this. He's stepping way beyond his duties.
Just put a couple of cameras and microphones in his car.