Hey anons, the last thread did pretty well so I'm here to revive it in case any anons need any last advice or help with situations from the previous thread. Feel free to ask me anything anons, I'm at your service and willing to help.
Attractive user who's good with women here to give you advice and answer any questions. PT2
Why do you still believe women are real, and not just a figment of your flouride riddled mind?
I’m fit(been doing Olympic/bodybuilding training 4-5 times a week for a few years), face is above average according to my bisexual/gay friends, and I have decent hair.
Cons: I’m short(5’8), south-east Asian, living in southern part of the US, studying CS, and spend entire Sunday working on electronic music production(European type).
Tinder is going very poorly and I’ve only fucked a couple solid 2-3/10s. What should I do to improve my chances? My last gfs were also the most egotistic scum I’ve met in a long time, so that probably means my personality is kind of fucked rn. Advice would be great desu.
If I'm being honest, your body type may be a detriment more than it is a benefit to your dating life. I've mentioned niches in the previous thread and I have yet to hear a girl ever say they're into buff short Asian guys. Of course it is your hobby and passion so I understand it's most likely something you're not willing to change. Tough one user, your best bet would to be to look for girls into fitness as they're more likely to value or prefer your body type in my opinion.
I’ve heard of this too. My legs are long and my jawline is pretty good even with a slightly broscience bod. I genuinely want to max my natural physique and I already do self-defense, so I’m not just a statue. Yet, I went full brad Pitt from fight club bod once, and I got with qts pretty consistently who didn’t care about physique at all.
user how would you handle a girl whose new to your friendgroup, you fell for, and then she rejected you?
I honestly don't care to be a beta orbiter to her we clicked so well but she said I don't make enough money to be a good partner to her
So now I just want to exit her life is this the proper plan? She wants to still be friends and our friend group has plans this weekend but k think I'm just going to cancel
Because a Brad Pitt bod is always traditionally desirable, it's cut and lean. It's the standard for beauty so it'll always get you bonus points. Your current body type on the other hand is a double edged sword. Some people will like it, some will hate it and it'll be a deal breaker. Consider cutting again if it's really important to you. Otherwise keep training user.
The worst thing you could possibly do is let her know you're shaken up from it. To not attend a social event because she's going would make you look extremely bad and immature. Your best option is to grit your teeth, and smile and pretend you're completely fine with being friends, if not happier. Show her that she made a mistake, don't prove her right. That is your only chance to both get the girl and retaining your friend group.
It’s somewhat an ego thing keeping me back from going full fight-club mode. Being relatively short and somewhat small is a double whammy for many women, at least to many who I’ve met. Even if I know how to defend myself, being sexually attractive is a bit tough when only weigh 150 pounds. Lmk if I sound misguided user
What is the best way to meet introverted women as a fellow introvert?
I recently made a profile on an online dating site. Today, I received my first mail from a girl. I looked at her profile and it was pretty plain, nothing special. She is a 4/10, 19 yo girl with no education beyond grade school and still lives at home. I'm a 5/10 22, yo with a good education and my own place. I can't help but feel this would be dating downwards. Especially the part about having no education is tough for me. But on the other hand, I don't even know if I'm worth more. I have no experience with dating as I have focused on my degree until now, so I'm really interested in knowing if I should generally expect to date downwards as an average man. .
When I go on dates, I feel like all the energy’s been sucked out of me. I’d rather be anywhere else and it definitely shows on my face and in my voice with this demeanour of pensive resignation. There’s no spark, connection, or chemistry. I’m not an extremely high energy or passionate person to begin with, but on dates I get absurdly spaced out, which only compounds the feeling that there’s an ocean between us.
Thanks user. I'm gonna go then. How should I handle myself, just pretend nothing happened? Be my normal self with her? Cause we got along super well and I've just ignored her for now a week and we haven't talked at all went from talking constantly and hanging out few times a week to I cut her off cold turkey
Any idea on how to find someone you can have a comfortable silence with. You know, just stare and look at each other like Johnny Bravo, because I don't like talking as much as most women do.
I would at the very least use this as an opportunity to practice getting to know a woman and flirting. Stop viewing relationships as a goal, and more as a journey. Just because a relationship ends doesn't mean it was bad, every relationship you learn something, even if it never makes it to the point where you're dating.
Are you going on dates you're genuinely interested in? If so I would focus more on just hanging out with a female friend you have chemistry with and not calling it a date. Let it happen and go with the flow, if she's into it make a move. It wouldn't be a "date" so much as just a jump in the progression of the relationship. Other than that focus on looking for girls that you are friend with and enjoy spending time with platonically. Let the relationship naturally develop as you guys become closer friends.
I would honestly say the most mature thing to do would be to approach her at the meet up and apologize for being distant. Say you've reflected and you understand her perspective or something similar and that you want to stay friends. Basically you want her to think you're over her. From there go on as completely normal and pursue other girls. Theres a decent chance she may become jealous due to the fact you got over her so quickly. Focus on yourself and show that and your attractive qualities will shine more and she will be more likely to be interested in you.
You're actually more attractive at that lower weight than at your current weight. The vast majority of women do have a cap where muscle mass stops being attractive, that cap is lower the shorter you are. The rock being massive and ripped? Fits his body type far more than a 5'8 man with the same physique. It looks awkward and off balance. If you slimmed down you would definitely be more attractive imo. As a skinny guy user, seriously skinny, you're overestimating how much muscles are truly worth.
Shy girls? Okay, good start. How would I go about meeting them and making the first move?
I understand your perspective, I guess Ill try and be friends but I don't want to be an orbiter to her just giving her validation. I plan on continuing to be distant to her and not really making myself available in a one on one sense like before. Ill be cool irl but I'm not going to admit I understand her perspective. It's bullshit imo. I don't even really want to be friends with someone who thinks they are superior just because of their circumstances vs mine
Well do you really think mentioning that I want to be friends would show that I am over it?
>Well do you really think mentioning that I want to be friends would show that I am over it?
Yes. You're clearly not and your first instinct was to isolate yourself. People who have feelings for someone that aren't mutual generally have trouble remaining friends with the person, normal people at least. Not orbiters. Even some orbiters do and get mad when they find out the girl has a boyfriend, because the fantasy that they COULD get that girl is now shattered and reality sets in. Saying you want to remain friends basically tells her you're completely over her to the point where you view her exclusively platonically. For someone to get over you in a week feels weird, it makes you seem less valuable as were taught it takes a long time to get over people. If it only took you a week, it takes her down a peg puts you back on equal ground. You don't have to say you agree with her decision. It getting over her and showing it is the main important part.
user that is based as fuck thank you. I wish we could talk more is there anyway I could befriend you?
What are some conversation starters that arent dumb obvious I'm trying to get closer. I honestly want to be friends with her and get to know her better beforehand but I don't know what to say in order to get a conversation rolling.
I'm 30 and have never had a gf. I've been told I'm smart and handsome, but I'm shy, I think suck at talking (at least at small talk), and honestly I'd probably be considered boring by most people out there. (OTOH, I talk a lot when I actually meet people, perhaps a bit too much, because they clearly notice that I'm a depressive fuck.)
also, usually I'm pretty straightforward, I don't have much drive to invite people to do this and that, not a lot of patience and I've been alone for a long time.
what should I do to "improve" myself in the eyes of women? or should I not give a shit and just bee myself xd?
No problem user. You can add me on discord if you've got it.
Conversation starters are pretty difficult honestly user. It's too locations and context specific. There can be many that you may not have even considered. I've met a lot of girls randomly at clubs or parties warning them about creepy guys, or simple stuff like commenting on someone's videogame pin and asking what they like about the game. There's just too many variables unfortunately user. The best I can do is refer you to the previous thread and to my advice on reading the room and signals.
I'd recommend reading the advice above about understanding how women view dating and practice playing into that and understanding how the weird game works. Learn the rules, then start playing. Practice makes perfect.
Yeah my name on discord is cueq
Actually user, something I'll point out. People accentuate things they want people to notice (Hair, eyes, ass, tits, for women, muscles, height, etc for men, you get it) but that also extends to things they wear in public. People usually represent things they're passionate about (Pins, T shirts from videogames, patches on bags, etc) when they want to discuss them with people, and that's an easy in and common ground you can go for if you are also a fan of something they are. A book or a song maybe. It's something you can connect with and that early connection is great because first impressions matter. Having something to bond over immediately is a great positive association to have. So pick out something you think they're most likely to react positively to, and use that as your in. Seems obvious but hopefully this wasn't redundant.
Unfortunately I'll need the 4 numbers followed after the #. Post them and delete the post a couple minutes later if you'd like to keep yourself from getting slammed. I'll check the thread every couple minutes for the next 20 or so.
There a girl who sings around me and always greets me when I'm around… even when she's talking to others. I've noticed her licking her lips when I'm in the general vicinity and she seems very flirty and engaged. (winking when she talks, small smirks.) Thing is she's at work whenever we meet (uncommon scenario, too lazy to explain, basically, hospitality) and she's open to compliments.
Based on the things above do I have the green light to ask her out. If yes, how and where? If no, please explain my autism. Thanks.
Thank you a bunch
From the little information you gave me, yes. But you need to teach yourself to find and understand those signs yourself, I can't always be here to confirm your suspicions, so you have to find a way to understand and learn those patterns yourself user. You seem to have a decent grasp of it already, good job user. I'd say go for it.