I'm a total idiot. A few days ago, I admitted to my gf that I was looking at camgirls, and once even showed my body (no face) on camera while fapping. She was really hurt by it. She's so innocent, she was a virgin before me, and I did this....but I think she forgave me even though she was really hurt.
I just did it again. The fuck is wrong with me? Do I tell her again, and break her trust even more? Or should I bear the guilt myself? I can barely even look at her without feeling guilt if I hold it in again and don't tell her....or is this not as big of a deal as I am making it?
Part of me feels like I have to tell her, to be truthful, and get the guilt off my chest....
The other part of me says that I will be hurting her even more and breaking her trust even more, so I shouldn't tell her...
Why are men who date virgins such incompetent losers? Christ. And people wonder why I lie about not being a virgin.
dude you’re a piece of shit. i can’t even imagine dating a guy like you holy fucking fuck
I realize I am a piece of shit and a loser. I feel that fully now which is why I made this thread. I am asking what to do, and I am leaning towards telling her but I want to hear opinions.
Killing myself, while I thought about it, is not an option since that would hurt her a lot.
>Giving money to cam thots Unironically kill yourself
Actually, I didn't pay any money. I just turned on my webcam and some girls joined my chaturbate room.
OP here...I wanna tell her, but since I just promised her last weekend that I would never do this again, I also feel like maybe i should hold this in as a "transgression" and take it as a sin I will withhold for myself so I don't hurt her again. Whatever repercussions I get in the afterlife for it, I will take it, because I don't want to hurt her again or totally break her trust, if it was on the verge of breaking after last weekend.
I'm really torn, which should I do?
"Girls" user..i.. You think theres girls on the internet?
you feel guilty but you just did it again, didn’t you? you’re absolutely taking advantage of your girlfriend- she’s less experienced and probably really cares about you so will bottle up how she feels about this. i dated a guy who sent me someone else’s nudes once and i’d imagine this hits the same way.
You're obviously not feeling guilty enough if you did it again without a second thought. Her lack of a relationship-ending reaction probably subconsciously spurred you on. Keep it to yourself so you can know what true guilt feels like. It's your sin to bear.
If you don't tell her then you're just lying to her, and no good relationship can be built on lies.
Every relationship is built on lies. Nobody is honest and being themselves on the first few dates, they're trying to be an ideal partner so they don't get rejected. Relationships are about overcoming lies and differences. If your relationship can't do that, it wasn't meant to be.
what's wrong with showing your body on the internet?! and why on hell did she get hurt?! wtf? basically, what you did wasn't wrong, and you should try and urge her to share the cam with you. i'll be waiting...
Trying to be a good person is a lie? I would hate to know what you consider telling the truth to mean.
It's not far off from cheating. The only difference is that there's no physical contact. Emotional affairs are still a thing.
You're falsely assuming that lies are always a bad thing, and truth is always a good thing.
When is lying ever justified? And when is truth ever evil?
A person says to their significant other that they're the most beautiful person they've ever seen. This is most likely a lie, but has absolutely no harmful effects to the receiver or the relationship.
On the other end, a significant other asks how good the sex is. The person truthfully responds that it's far worse than their previous two lovers. The relationship falls apart because the significant other begins to doubt themself and believes their relationship may be built on pity.
Maybe those people are really asking a different question. Asking someone if you're beautiful is usually understood as asking whether or not they love you. But there is still the third option of refusing to answer those kinds of questions, so lying is not necessary. Just like when two people share confidential information between themselves (such as a lawyer and client or doctor and patient), it is not lying to keep private information private, because there is trust between the two parties that the information is to be kept private. On the other hand, in situation like the OP describes, when you cheat on a person, you have already violated their trust in your faith, and keeping that information from them would be lying by omission.
Refusing to answer a positive-or-negative question is equivalent to selecting the negative response. If somebody asks you if a dress makes them look fat and you decline commenting, they know it makes them look fat. Saying you have some magical relationship where such questions don't come up is bullshit because no healthy relationship prohibits potentially-negative communication, and the fact that you suggest such a thing while arguing for "good relationships" is comical.
I'm not saying all lies are good. I'm saying that white lies exist, and OP's situation is one of them. Telling her the truth will hurt her and the relationship far more than keeping quiet about it.
Think about it like this. If OP tells her about it, she will receive the brunt of the mental trauma despite doing absolutely nothing. If OP keeps it to himself, he instead will suffer the guilt for the remainder of the relationship. There is no option where both parties come out okay, so OP may as well go for the one that hurts him more than her since it was his fault. It would only be a problem if OP doesn't feel guilty for it.
>no honey you aren’t fat >lose some weight you fat bitch
>"Honey does this dress make me look fat?"
>"I love you regardless of the dress you are wearing." or >"Sorry I don't answer loaded questions like that."
The truth eventually comes out one way or the other if you lie, and when it does it is many times more painful than simply telling the truth.
The old ask for forgiveness, not permission tactic, nice. You are total scum and it’s weird you guys didn’t communicate what’s okay and not okay before entering a relationship. But oh well, some people are just dumb af
Or to add on to my comment here, you can answer a question with a question of your own. For example: Wife: >"Honey do I look fat?" Husband: >"Do I look stupid?"
Oh, I see, you're just shit at lying.
>You are total scum >some people are just dumb af Nice tactics yourself, Ad Hominem.
Where did I lie?
* While holding her gently, lovingly, like a sweet little innocent soppy babe.
"Baby, you know I love you right? There's nothing more I love than seeing your smile light up the room. Which makes this confession all the more harder. Baby, I have been dishonest with you. I am a native Martian and I have been dating you to ensure the continued success of our lineage in planet Earth. I am a gay. Please put things in my rectum. I must go now. Haha, just kidding. By the way, I did the thing I said I want going to do again. Please forgive me my soppy baby seal. I love putting my Weiner in your beaver. I love no other like you, I won't leave you, I'll stay with you, but you need to know that I am a huge faggot, I love lil xtenzion or whatever the fuck, and I will fucking fap to cam respectable ladies again because dick hard. Because I am, so can you because it's only fair.
Or haha, I'm joking again, I'll never do it again and repress my dick hard for only your warm body and no body else's. Haha I'm such a retard right? Please stay with me soppy babe I have deep feelings for you.
1. Be completely honest, tell her you are doing it again, you dont love her any less, you want to stay with her, you just have a fetish. 2. Be completely honest don't do it again 3. Keep it to yourself keep doing it or not.
Personally I like to treat others how I want to be treated. Would you want her to be honest? Can you apologise for being horny? Your call