Jow Forums,what does it mean when your boyfriend acts like this?
we fought and after this last exchange,I removed him from my friends' list
haven't talked since yesterday
could have readded me or messaged me on other platforms,but nothing so far
Should I reinitiate contact myself? I want to wait a bit more,though
But what do you think,has he lost interest?
In the beginning of the relationship he was much more loving and was willing to work things out.
Nowadays he kinda gets annoyed with me/sometimes acts rude/indifferent and doesn't message me as often as he used to.
Jow Forums,what does it mean when your boyfriend acts like this?
dont re-initiate for the love of god
if he admits to his own wrongdoings he will naturally come to you.
and sry but from the tone of his texts he does seem to take you for granted :/ i say if he doesn't try to make it up to you perhaps it's time to go your separate ways. there's no point being in a relationship with someone who doesn't even bother to make you happy or care abt your wellbeing
He has clearly stated his position. You can't force him out of it, and trying will only make things worse, so just let him be. If he wants to do something, he'll do something.
You have never met in real life have you?
Yeah,it's long distance.
You guys seem toxic for each other. And when you use healthy relationship talk in a passive aggressive way you come off as a major cunt.
Maybe,how should I have reacted?
Why do you think we're toxic for each other?
Not that user, but instead of saying "what the fuck" and then deleting with and wait to see how he reacts, a more appropiate approach would be to clearly state that you need to talk these things out and if he's not willing to put the effort your relationship won't work.
You sound crazy.
>lacking the empathy to understand why someone would not want to discuss a problem at a specific moment
>being so rash and childish you decide to remove him as a friend
>getting mad that he doesn’t readd you right away
If you’re like this all the time his waning interest makes perfect sense to me. It could also be because you bring up too many ‘problems’ by the sound of it. Try improving yourself instead of only demanding your bf to improve.
Then he's not your boyfriend, just an internet crush.
>getting this worked up over an online relationship
Not worth it.
Is this one of those newfangled long distant Discord relationships?
of course it is
>I'm not in the mood to solve anything *AT THE MOMENT*
This is perfectly reasonable of him to set this boundary. Perhaps he had an awful day, perhaps his mom cheated on his dad, perhaps his best friend committed suicide, perhaps he has been working on his feet for 12 hours around the public on 2 hours of sleep and a stale sandwich and just wants to chill and relax for a little. You don't give a shit about WHY he doesn't want to at the moment, you don't give a shit about him as a person, and it sounds like you don't give a shit about anyone but yourself.
When you unfriend someone that is equivalent to breaking up with them. You just broke up with him. He is not your boyfriend anymore. If he still considers himself your boyfriend then you guys are an 8,000% drama relationship. Expecting HIM to chase after YOU and refriend you after you were inconsiderate and wronged him shows a huge level of immaturity and selfishness on your part. It's not looking good but you can salvage things by apologizing for being inconsiderate - you have no right to demand his focus or force him to talk about certain things at certain times on your timetable, and apologizing for how childish it was to unfriend him and swear never to behave like that again.
dont listen to this guy
Thing is I've done that before and got tired of complaining about the same issues.
But I don't want to actually break up with him and I wouldn't really have the balls to do it either.
I complain about what I stated in the OP,that he's indifferent/doesn't put in effort.
In this particular case it was about his lack of focus on the conversation, delayed responses and such.
He was also mad because the day before he was 'trying to open up to me' and because of said lack of focus, I didn't take him seriously.I did try to encourage him, but to me it seemed like he didn't care much for the convo and next day I complained about the same issues.
I guess he wanted more empathy and encouragement from my side.
I guess you're right.I'm not in the right place mentally, I dont have many friends so Im probably putting too much pressure on him.
He was able to talk at that moment.I found his reaction as a sort of 'revolt' for not encouraging him enough yesterday,deciding not to give a fuck anymore.
Put your beaver around his Weiner or another's. Idgaf. I'm on a bus bored giving out bad advice.
When respects no longer being served its time to leave the table. Suck his brothers Weiner.
Girl, you need a friend to talk to cause fuck typing and 4 Chan, unless you want a 4 Chan boyfriend. People are social creatures and you need someone other than this turd to talk all your hearts content to this. I offer my services over a warm cup of coffee by the local cafe.
I agree. OP was a little hasty to unfriend him because he didn't want to resolve whatever problem they had right then and now.
Perhaps he wanted to collect and his thoughts and rationalise his position instead of just firing from the hip with emotional responses.
He could have been more than willing to discuss the issue in a few hours.
He's going to break up with you, im calling it.
I've had e relationships and they always start off so sweet then slowly they get so boring and fake. I just see pixels on the screen and love is really non existent. I acted just like him before i left mine, he's truly given up
thats exactly what I'm trying to work on though, and why I complain.
That we should talk more,voice.. or use webcam..
You clearly like to talk things out and discuss things more than he does. At the beginning he took your concerns more seriously because he deinstalled have a reference, now, after getting to know you more, he decided that he doesn’t care. He probably cares about you, but he probably doesn’t think that whatever you want to talk about is worth the effort.
I have several friends who would talk my ear off about problems if I gave them the chance. They always have a problem with something, and they always want to talk about it. Sometimes you don’t need to talk about something. Sometimes I don’t want to hear them make excuses for their behavior or talk about how I hurt their feelings when I know I didn’t do anything wrong.
It’s all about context. If I know I have done something wrong or if an issue comes up that I think is meaningful, I am always willing to talk about it. But if the issue is something dumb, or if I am certain that the other person is just looking to victimize themselves for attention, I don’t have the patience for it.
Does it sound like that could be his perspective here? What is the context?
And no, don’t reinvigorate contact. It will just affirm his preconception that you are doing this for attention.
Deinstalled should be didnt*
Reinvigorate should be reinitiate*
Damn the autocorrect on my phone is terrible
Might be the case.I've been complaining about the same things, I think he's tired of it.
>In this particular case it was about his lack of focus on the conversation, delayed responses and such.
He stated before that he's the same with everyone and always does something besides *just* talking to the person.
I asked him to focus for a few minutes a day on just talking,to have some 1on1 conversations from time to time,but he thinks it's not a big deal..
Unfortunately it’s hard to undo this type of damage once your partner starts to see you as someone who chronically overreacts or victimizes themselves.
Not to say that your concerns are unjustified. He might be neglecting you. I don’t know since i’m not involved.
But at the very least he doesn’t empathize with whatever your concerns are, which is a kiss of death in a relationship
Thanks for your help!
When someone wants to talk to me I ask them three questions.
1. Do you want someone to just listen?
2. Do you want advice?
3. Are you in trouble, do you need my help with something?
90% time it's the first. So don't feel bad and don't let anyone make you feel bad if you're number one. Surround yourself with people who will give you their time. If they don't care because they don't want to give you attention or whatever else, and if you honestly believe you're being reasonable, think twice about the relationship. It's only natural for attraction to fizzle out. Are you guys even physically seeing each other, If not, read the last sentence out loud and multiply it by infinity. How old are you? You must be very conservative or young if you're not dating. You can't be serious with relationships like this. When I was 12 I had a online gf. This was back when you had to give up using the home phone to dial up internet. No mobiles, the Sims 1, quake 2 and aoe2 were all the rage. No mobiles. Ahh the days!
Tldr protect your little heart and focus on your life and what you're going to do with it. Boys and men will come and go, and in your terms if you discipline yourself well enough. Be a strong woman. Good luck.
I'm 19,he's 23.
It's my first relationship.
I do want to meet him and such.In fact,I wish he'd express more initiative regarding that.
>focus on your life and what you're going to do with it. Boys and men will come and go
Im a guy, I would say vast majority of the time this type of situation you are in the right. But there have been a few times (very very few) where people catch me at a bad moment and I am under stress and mad. I know I wont respond, as I would like to the person and delay it.
If its a problem where he doesnt want to talk about it ever then its a major issue.
Context is important. If your fighting a lot then the relationship could be breaking down. Or its an issue that is fixable, which also depends on the personality type of the couple.
Im 32 and Women would do the same thing you mentioned he is doing in your 2nd to last line to me. Both when I tried long distance dating and a girl I dated in person for a long time did it. Its kinda torture putting yourself in that situation. Im talking over 24 hours for the in person girl. She did it in a way that made it seem like I had made her angry. Turned out she was seeing another guy. I would highly recommend dating in person unless you or the guy can travel at some point. Putting your emotions in text and being on hold really blows.
You're whalecum. This guy above me also has valid points. There's always exceptions to the rule but if you guys aren't seeing each other, this is the interaction, and you're both this age, you're better off looking around for other males near your area. Also maybe he's just having a tough day. In any case, without physical intimacy, relationships can't last long. A less than scrupulous 23 at the peak of sexuality won't just be happy with an online interaction. He'll want physical connection. So he's fridgit, scared to ask for a date, or he's just getting action elsewhere. So again, go out and meet someone. Trust me. I can't begin to tell you how much I regret holding out when I was your age for some greater good. In your case, for your code, and for a guy who doesn't even know what he wants, or is stringing you along. Don't waste your time, take action in spite of fear. That's what courage is.
Why don't we talk and exchange details? I can help guide you with guys and listen. Being one for 30 years, I know a thing or two.
>Putting your emotions in text and being on hold really blows.
That really struck a chord with me.
And really helpful advice!
I've put forward these concerns with him as well,but he seemed commited to make this work.Although he's not really taking the steps towards it?
But he would insist that this is what he wants and that I shouldn't doubt him or his love.
I know a relationship in person would be the best,but I've grown attached to him at this point and I want it to work,too.
>Why don't we talk and exchange details?
In all fairness,I'd love to have someone I could turn to for advice,especially if it's someone that's experienced in the matter.
But that would place you in quite a special position,being my confidant, and I wouldn't want to end up trusting some other dude more than my own boyfriend.
As an update,he hasn't messaged me today either.I might write him tomorrow and see if we can patch things up.
You both should just kill yourselves.
Well that's sweet. You're probably going to make a lot of mistakes and it will be good for you to have someone you can smooth things out with if no one else is around. If you trust someone more than your bf, well, that should certainly say something about the relationship. In any case, I'm always happy to help and sideline some time away. In the meantime you should occupy yourself with other things so you're not just thinking of this. Are you working? Studying? Have you a hobby on the side that gets your pickle tickled? By filling your day you won't have time to overthink, and you'll make new friends, the kind you may grow to trust over time with.
I just made a throw away account. I'm not exactly sure how I'll be able to confirm your identity because 4 Chan, but let's give it the old college try.