My heart hurts often, not only because of the intense struggles in my personal life...

My heart hurts often, not only because of the intense struggles in my personal life, but because of the depravity and cruelty I see in the world around me. The immense numbers of humans starving or being victimized by war, or being tortured or locked up or having their genitals cut as babies. The even more vastly immense numbers of animals needlessly suffering at the whims of human convenience. The destruction of our beautiful planet. The commitment of the average person to detestable ideologies. The economic struggles of many based on elite interests.

I really am not here to debate on politics. I merely want to know how I can at least heal enough to have a somewhat more bearable life. I think of the horrors in my past and how deeply depressed I've been, and it makes things even worse when I think of babies having important body parts cut off, animals spending tortorous lives never knowing joy, and children starving in far off countries, all just for profit.

What do I do?

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Join antifa and get killed

you're not alone, I'm going through the same exact thing. I wish you the best.

I am not interested in joining a terrorist group. I believe you don't understand my post if you think I would be interested.

Thank you. Same to you.

"The line dividing good and evil runs down the heart of every human being"
Yes the world is full of malevolence. Being a good person is not the default option. You have so many reasons to be vengeful.
But...why not make it your purpose to be the shining light in the world around you? You are important and your actions really do have consequences. Let the cruelty fuel you to make an actual positive impact in your world.
The ripple effect of you making an effort to be good to yourself and all those around you should not be underestimated
As i mentioned...people are not inherently good. It takes a real commitment. If every person in the world decided to be truthul and good it would be a much different place. Do what you can in your direct sphere of influence and maybe you can convince others to follow suit - one by one changing the world for the better

there's nothing to heal except yourself.
Fuck the thousands who suffer. You don't understand that they are persons too and it's because you think too highly of yourself that you've convinced yourself that you feel their pain and sorrow or that you're responsible for them.
Do you have any idea how matronising it comes across to not consider those who suffer equal to yourself?
Perhaps you should consider that those who starve or struggle to survive were too stupid so they made the wrong choices, or they were evil and people found out. To see someone suffer and only think 'aww he doesn't deserve it' is to allow evil to exist. You would support evil to satisfy your own selfish feelings.

Women should have never been given the Vote. Men don't think like that and it's for the best.

I don't know if a single rational thought is expressed anywhere in this whole post.

Sometimes the world is too much of a task to change, so we change ourselves in the image we believe would gain the world, however small for however small of a duration. So try that. You don’t like seeing people starve? Make sure you don’t go hungry and then expand to a loved one. Then further as far as you can manage. Baby steps.

Keep pretending to care about those who suffer on some faraway continent. You know it's a lie.

stop being Godless and learn about Jesus, your Lord and Savior.

>be a nigger
>kill off white farmers
>hurr my family is starving, help
Fuck all of them, I can't wait for these third world cunts to die off soon enough.

I have wanted to, but I am severely depressed and anxious already. I pretty much only leave the house for tasks and appointments. Rarely anything else, as I have no local friends. I am awkward and I am not kidding you right now: I have less than 3 dollars saved right now. I have been living with my parents and it really sucks as a combination of my problems and shortcomings and their bad decisions have led to this situation. I could have graduated and moved out at 16 had they let me but I am now 19, and both times I went off to uni started strong but I ended up suicidal. I am no longer ahead, just average, and am worried about being behind. I am very bogged down with having to plan for multiple potential schools due to my parents' long procrastination on decisions, as well as a lot of work for class, and of course extremely low energy to do it all.

I have failed so horribly and kept failing time and time again when trying to get a job. I figured out how to do it better but now all my work time is taken up with academic and medical planning, and i don't even know what state I'll be in come late September.

It's hard to even imagine happiness or what it would feel like to be genuinely loved in a romantic sense. Hard to be others' light when you can't be much of your own.

You sound uneducated enough to be one.

I don't have the energy to go out and help much. I am also broke. Most of what I can do is abstaining from active harm right now.

Idk if you thought that was me, but if you did, you are very wrong. I often picture a starving Yemeni child or child slave worker. I even care deeply about the nonhuman animals who suffer from some of the same systems.

Stop watching news. You get your own life back and happiness will return.

I used to be a miserable piece of shit like you, then I killed my tv.

Then just try to be nice and kind to the few people you interact with and live knowing that’s the best you can do. And you can give up anything related to Jow Forums. And news, stop that, don’t need to know the state of the world if you can’t even get out the door helping a neighbor. Get ofd social media too, too many people post their fake perfect life and opinions, it won’t do you any good. Stick to purely entertainment, but nothing close to reality, it might trigger you. Maybe cartoons for children? They usually just display simple colors and audio. You might handle that.

I watch independent media. You make a good point though, as when my energy gets low I watch a lot of it. Probably too much. There is a price to being very informed on these issues, for sensitive people at least.

I would like to spend more time doing other things that require at least some energy, but I just almost never have much at all and I drain really quickly pretty often. How do I get enough energy to do even basic things better? I have improved from my most recent very suicidal period but still struggle to accomplish what I need to.

Purposefully ignoring your shadow work is doing your light side a disservice and basically seeking depression.
The world is not all good, and goodness cannot be created, only attracted. You must git gud at defending yourself in the name of self preservation if you are to even slightly begin to understand the invisible mechanisms that allow the world to exist.

I barely use social media at all unless you count discord. Deleted facebook profile (occasionally still use messenger), snapchat, instagram, etc.. I barely even post to Jow Forums anymore. I will try to cut down on news.
>Stick to purely entertainment, but nothing close to reality, it might trigger you. Maybe cartoons for children? They usually just display simple colors and audio. You might handle that.
Pretty rude. I may try more comedy and stuff but adult comedy.

Not an argument

>begin to understand the invisible mechanisms
such as?

user I sometimes imagine the past and how I ruined things, and I guess the feeling of dread you feel is comparable to the dread that I feel. And if there's one thing I should say to you, it's 'stop thinking about it'. You cannot solve their problems, and daydreaming about it won't help you or someone else.
And it's entirely useless, it helps no one. So that's why I wrote 'Fuck the thousands who suffer'. And as much as you hate it, that's what you gotta do. Shrug it off and find something positive that you can put your back behind and create a better place around yourself and around the ones you love. That's the only, the ONLY WAY, to create goodness in this evil world. Stop daydreaming the evil away and creat the good this world needs.

As I pointed out earlier though, I have almost no money and almost no energy. How am I supposed to do extra when I can't even handle all I need to do now?