My gf has these sudden irrational urges and she gets irrationally stubborn about them to the point where it becomes aproblem. Last one was: >sunny and hot day >just finished eating >talk about what we'll do later >she says she'd ike to go to this place we both like were they make some really good fruit juice >"ok, but they're too big to dirnk one now, later" >go out for a walk >suddenly temp drops >starts pouring hard >didn't bring umbrellas, we're soaked >"well, seems like the juice is cancelled, let's get back home and dry ourselves" >"but we said we'd go drink juice" >"well, yeah, but look at the weather and look at us" >"but we said we'd go drink juice" >"...yes, but that was when it has hot and I wasn't drenched" >"but we said we'd go drink juice" >conversations keeps going back and forth like this for 15 minutes straight, she just won't let go, looks like she's about to cry >I'm starting to feel like shit >she ends up dragging me to the place while muttering "sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry" all the way >buys her fucking juice, drinks it as fastas she can while still saying sorry every second >she looks like she's having the worst time of her life, but still refuses to go without drinking the whole thing >she keeps saying sorry all the way >"IF YOU'RE SO FUCKING SORRY WHY DID YOU MAKE ME GO THROUGH IT" >"we said we'd go..."
It doesn't happen all the time, bt it happens once every month or so, it's the most random things and she just can't let go no matter the circumstances, no matter what I say, no matter how angry anybody gets. She has to do it and she has to do it NOW. Is she an autist? It's feels too weird to be just selfishness.
That actually does sound like high functioning autism.
looks like OCD
>once every month or so Sounds like PMS, user
Should I just take her to a shrink then? I don't know if I can deal with this stuff forever.
Learn to put your foot down sometimes and stick to it, she will bitch and cry but wont do it as often in te future but nake sure you do it about reasonablethings such as the juice situation
This is clearly your fault. Own up to your agreement, your word. You’re a liar that I would want nothing to do with.
Why are you so fucking stubborn that you can't go get some juice unless you feel like the conditions to get juice are perfect for you?
The fuck is wrong with you? Are you some kind of autist?
Maybe try find a good book on OCD and to help understand her.
From the story it sounds like she didn't really want to get juice anymore once it started raining, but the thought of not following through with a plan probably would have made her extremely anxious to the point it felt much easier for her to just get the juice despite the weather.
Maybe ask her about how she felt a bit more.
Good luck user.
Let me get the obvious thing out of the way: women are extremely unstable hormonal bombs who will do things like that occasionally, some have it worse than others and you need to learn how to deal with them without making them feel like shit Now on the other hand, while her behavior was a little over the top I am pretty sure she was on the right here. You are a man. Your word is one of the most valuable things you have. If you say you are going to do something, then you better fucking do that thing or else gather everyone's approval to change plans instead of trying to do it unilaterally. This is especially true if that person is your girlfriend and she keeps saying "but you said we'd do it", she is reminding you to keep your word. And just like she was over the top, you are similarly over the top for not giving in such an insistent request until she is on the verge of crying. Like, why can't you just get the fucking juice if it is that important for her? Are you going to melt in the rain? If I were you I'd honestly apologize for her and promise to never be a liar again. And also try being more comprehensive in the future. Alternatively let your girlfriend go, she can find a more mature man, and you can find a more stable girl that needs less sensibility to keep happy.
>If you say you are going to do something, then you better fucking do that thing or else gather everyone's approval to change plans instead of trying to do it unilaterally. This is retarded
>We should go swimming today because it's hot! >*suddenly gets very cold and starts raining* >hurr, we better go anyways because I said so.
This is true but if it happens monthly the girl is not neurotypical She is not necessarily retarded like people are saying in this thread, some people are just special in their own ways while still maintaining a highly functional life I wouldn't use this opportunity to get her to a psychologist because OP could clearly have been more patient in that scenario, but next time she does it and, assuming it is actually unreasonable, then bring up the idea once she is calm The point is if you propose a plan to someone and they accept, you shouldn't change it without their agreement. If they are still committed to do it then you should honor your own plan. This is very basic for trust. It is usually not difficult to keep that golden standard of promises for most people as they won't insist in obviously bad plans, but with someone like your girlfriend it can certainly be challenging
This was just an example. There was this other time when we were at the zoo in Prague and I was feeling very sick, like, right about to puke. Told her so, and asked to go back to the hotel, but then suddenly she started getting really anxious because we didn't have a picture together at the zoo (we had others) and she wouldn't accept going back until we found someone to get the picture despite me being so ill. It took half an hour because I could barely walk after a bit, and right after the photo was taken, she said that she regretted it terribly and I looked awful in the picture, and she was so, so, so sorry, but we had to have a picture of both of us in the zoo and it could not be a selfie.
For some reason I feel like you are in the wrong here, OP. Either start putting in more work to help her deal with her issues, or let her find someone else who will.
I see, in this case she was definitely in the wrong and it proves that she is not neurotypical Well user it sounds like her case can be easily diagnosed by a psychologist. She can do behavioral therapy to get over it. That's the best advice you'll find in this thread: take her to a therapist/psychologist But do also try being more patient, the example you posted in the OP shows that both could have tried to be more comprehensive, but the "burden of comprehensiveness" was on you in that specific scenario
It's called picking your battles. Is getting juice in the rain worth getting upset about and spoiling how you see her? Or could you just get some damn juice and move on? Sometimes you do make a stand but the way you describe it you're losing feelings for her over some incredibly petty shit. If you don't want her, ditch her. Don't use the little insignificant things to build a story in your mind about how unreasonable she is.
Okay, thanks user. I'll try to be more patient but also get her to a therapist to see what can be done about those situations.
Just remember that being the partner of someone with quirks such as hers is an immense responsibility user If it seems like you are damaging her instead of helping (like in the OP episode), it might take some maturity to just let her go But you sound smart, I'm sure you'll be comprehensive now that you came to terms that she is probably not like other girls and it's not her fault.
But you said you’d go drink juice.
>you shouldn't change it without their agreement This is retarded when you take it to an extreme. If you plan to go swimming to escape the heat and then it gets cold and rainy, a rational person would understand the original reason to do the plan are now changed and you should both re-asses if you still want to proceed.
Sounds like she really wNted some juice and you a lazy cunt. As if you would get huge with your bf while she's all wet
It relies on the assumption that the people you are dealing with are rational and won't force you to do unreasonable things Like I said, most people can easily keep their promises even when occasionally challenged. But they might struggle once they have children. Because children are not reasonable, they will force you to keep your word even when it's simply impossible. Now as a rule you should still keep your word though. I classify some defining personality traits from my friends in my mind, such as who can keep a secret, who talks shit about other people behind their back, and one of these is who keeps their word. I'm sure most other people do that intuitively/subconsciously too. People won't trust you if you change your mind easily, and they might appreciate you a lot if you go out of your way to keep your word even in unreasonable conditions (your child will appreciate that too and learn one thing or two about trust)
OP this is normal. No matter who you date you will come across "irrational" behavior, the reality is they are different people. You can see that you do not share all of your parents ideas, most people have a greater difference than this. That is why you must compromise.
learn to communicate jesus you sound retarded ask her why and try to be more understanding stop her and ask her why she's sorry tell her it's fine you'd be happy to go along and just do it if she wants to anyways but ask her fucking why else you can't ever grasp why she wants to do it you asshole you don't deserve her
OP THERE IS ONE ANIME YOU MUST WATCH IT'S CALLED SAKURASOU PET NA KANOJO YOU ARE THE PROTAGONIST IT'S ABOUT A GUY WITH AN AUTISTIC GF AND HE SOMETIMES YELLS AT HER AND IS NOT COMPREHENSIVE AT ALL WATCH IT OP AND YOU'LL UNDERSTAND YOUR POSITION