I have never had an orgasm. I'm 18 years old and I've probably been masturbating since I was 11 or 12? I think I'm a really sex positive person, and I make sure I'm pretty educated on it, so I know the female anatomy and different toys and whatnot, and I've talked to other women about it and I've even given advice. I've tried different positions, clothed or bare, erotic videos or literature, I have never used a toy but I have used vibrating toothbrushes and other items for penetration. I definitely get aroused, and I can get pretty far while masturbating, but I've always had to stop because it becomes too intense and painful. I've never had that "release" or tension in my whole body, or the feeling of fireworks like it's always shown as in media. Is there possibly a medical reason for this? Could my body not be developed yet, or something? It's starting to get frustrating, and it's also making me stressed in my relationship as well.
Female, never have been able to orgasm
I doubt that it's a medical issue or anything. You probably just can't get yourself fully into the mental state you need to push past the intensity and reach climax. Try focusing on non-sexual elements: reduce stress in your life, create a relaxation ritual for yourself in the evenings, etc. Stuff that goes on outside of the bedroom can work its way in there hours or even days later.
> but I've always had to stop because it becomes too intense and painful
What do you mean by "too intense"? You mean the pleasure gets too much for you to handle?
That's like saying "I've always tried to run 100 meters, but I've always had to stop because I prefer not to go past 90 meters. Why can't I run 100 meters?".
Hmm. It's so difficult to describe. It's like I'm enjoying myself as I'm building up, the sensation feels nice, but eventually it becomes not enjoyable at all. It's like I get to a peak and I struggle and overwork myself. It never feels good.
It's very difficult for some women. What works for my girlfriend is 2 fingers in the vagoo working the Gspot while the other hand rubs her clit and I play with her nipple with my tongue. Lots of alternating between fast and slow, soft and hard, back and forth and circular motions. It took me like 10 tries to find the right combination as well.
This is gonna make me sound like a piss baby teenage girl, but is it possible depression and anxiety could be cause for it? I don't find myself feeling anxious or masturbating because im depressed or anything in the moment, but maybe I'm just a little less than motivated in general? (diagnosed when i was younger, I take buproprion XL)
That certainly sounds up my alley, lol. Thanks for the advice. Maybe I just need more than two hands
Antidepressants commonly make achieving orgasm more difficult.
My gf couldn't either. You likely need the right guy you're actually attracted to and might be doing a bit of settling.
Well, shit. Did some research. Apparently the med I'm on has shown to INCREASE sexual pleasure in women
>always had to stop
Dont stop :3
I had the same problem. I didn’t ever orgasm until I was 18. I know you said you’ve tried different positions and stuff, but what exactly...?
What finally worked for me was first of all, being completely relaxed. That includes not anticipating the orgasm. Just being completely in the moment and enjoying the sensation I was currently feeling. Not waiting for anything. Don’t worry or overthink anything.
Also, this might be particular to me, but I’m including it just in case even though it’s kind of embarrassing. I found I could orgasm from humping something. For years I would try always using my hand to stimulate my clitoris - didn’t work. It was probably too direct and led to that unpleasant intensity you mentioned. I had to lie on my side and just dry hump a pillow or a blanket. I don’t know if you’ve tried this but if not, it’s an idea. I think I finally orgasmed the very first time I tried that.
Lol just think sexy thoughts.
If your brains not in the right mindframe noone can cum. Its jot just physical its mental.
>get a fetish
>watch the fetish
>while watching focus on the video and use your imagination.
Children can do it.
>Children can do it.
are you my gf? She has 100% the same story, but is 19y old
Whenever girls told me to stop, or that it hurts, I just continue. Unless they're actually in sharp pain, or other really uncomfortable, you oughta continue. For some freaks, pain turns into pleasure, which I sorta feels, but its ehh overall.
If I stopped whenever they asked me to, some of them may have never experience squirting until later in life. But you're young, not even in your 20s yet. Just push past your boundries when it feels right, or when you got the right partner.
Sounds like you're just too afraid to push past "the point of no return" for the orgasm. A lot my friends and I were like that, we just masturbated for a while and then stopped because the approaching intensity was too intimidating. You just need to relax and push yourself over the hill, don't think about it too much, focus on the porn or your imagination or whatever. Once you can achieve it one time it should be easier in the future, because you'll be familiar with the feeling and the resulting pleasure.
Same problem. But I am already 27. Have had regular sex with boyfriend for over six years. But no orgasm. I'm too afraid of it I guess. Have toys as well, but cannot keep going with them to reach the o.
Get a magic wand.
Exactly what happens to me all the time i get paranoid of peeing but bf tells me it’s because I’m getting close
Having sex hurts a bit for me but I assume it’s because i just started inserting things inside me and before losing my virginity I never experimented since we’re long distance I haven’t had sex more that 10 times in the 3 years we been together
If it gets too intense as you say, maybe try to reach that point and to stop with the direct stimulation. It could be that clitoris gets too sensitive.
And with your boyfriend try something like that as well, it can be soft foreplay until you're so aroused that you can orgasm with rubbing or grinding
It could be there is something wrong. Try asking a doctor.
I personally didn't find out that there was anything wrong until way too late. It generally isn't supposed to hurt.
he doesnt turn you on for real, or your sex is just bad ,its all mental when it comes to orgasms in females, ever heard why females orgasm easyer when being raped I know it sounds harsh
but there is some truth in it
also foreplay and letting go is key
Maybe you're one of those weird girls who is only attracted to guys you aren't supposed to be attracted to.
Let me suck ob that clit for hours
This is why you can't get a girlfriend, user.
Sounds to me like you over stimulate yourself and go at it a little tol hard to the point you just become numb. Maybe try going slower, being super wet and like mentioned before just focus on the sensation without expecting something.
My gf of 3 years tells me she can't orgasm too. She was virgin before me and never masturbated. I've tried everything, but still she tells me it feels amazing, the pleasure is growing, but then it just goes away, no explosion or "fireworks" as you say. We are both 22. I got used to that but it still makes me sad she'll never experince the same feel.
try switching your tempo so it doesn't start to hurt as fast. That way you might be able to make it to the orgasm before the hurting appears. Make sure you are relaxed too.
If none of that works, send me an email I'll help you out
For me, orgasming is 90% dependant on my state of mind. If I don't feel relaxed and shut out everything except pleasure, it won't work. Try some concentration exercises, try masturbating when you're 1000% sure you won't be interrupted and no one's around.
Are you focusing on clitoral things only? Vaginal only? A combination of both? A lot of women can't orgasm vaginally.
women who cant orgasm are failures and should off themselves
God's punishing you for being a whore.