My bf changed a lot and not into better but into a trouble maker, we are for almost for 5 years together and I even know him before being into a relationship and he wasn't like that, this change begun like 3 years ago, slowly he started to be numb, cold, paranoic, manipulative, rude and violent with others, before this change to begin he was very emotive, he used to cry a lot especially from happiness, he was so sweet and friendly with everybody, he always brought me a lot of joy and was like sunshine into my shitty life, now I don't even know when he is happy, angry or sad.I never cheated on him, I always showed my loyality and love for him and even gave him my virginity but he keeps sometimes acting with me like I'm cheating on him.There are some examples when he went literally too far with the way he is
>one of his relative died 2 years ago, almost every member of his family was crying beside him that was chuckling and acted like nothing happened >we used multiple times to argue in which sometimes i ended up to cry because of anger and again he started to chuckle and sometimes he even tried to hug me >he was harrasing and even tried to beat multiple male friends of mine even thought i tried to give him as many proofs as possible that i wasn't doing absolutely nothing with them and even showing our whole conversations >the worst could be when a guy that had a crush on me was out with his family and my bf passed next to them and harrased him and his parents and started to threat them and slap him even thought i told to this guy i have a relationship and i don't want to be with him
I want him back the way he was before, not like this, it breaks my heart when I see in what troubles he can enter and even bring to his family by being like this, I don't think it's his fault for being like this and I want to help him to stop being like this.
Sounds like he’s pretty mental, might want to work on an exit strategy before it gets worse.
have you talked to him about this?
well yeah but i'm not too different from him, I want to help him and bring him back, I can't leave him I love him too much Yes I did, about his emotions he told me he is glad for being like this and not "weak" also about harrassing and threatening my male friends he said tha he doesn't feels alright about them and that I should be happy for him doing this instead of cheating on me.
>pick a cunt as a boyfriend >hurr why is my boyfriend a cunt Literally every thread made by a woman ever
Is that hard to understand the part with "he wasn't like this before"?
He wasn't like this before but he is now. Either accept it and be okay with it (you shouldn't) or leave him (you should). But he won't stop unless you leave him, and even then he may not.
He was, you just didn't notice. Him crying a lot, being emotional and sweet just means he was manipulative and you fell for it. Now he just started showing his true face.
>I can change him :>) Probably not. Either his personality has changed for good, or he has some serious psych issues he needs to work on with a therapist. This have a phase, this is the majority of your relationship. Here's what'll happen >you'll try to stick around to change him >oh look! You're married >oh look! You're pregnant >it's been 10 years, he still hasn't changed, there's no way out and if you're lucky he hasn't escalated to physical abuse
>man opens thread about his gf being a bitch >"fucking women" >woman opens thread about his bf being an asshole >"fucking women"
I don't think so, he wasn't like this only with me, that's how he was in general with everybody, when he started to show some signs of changes was after befriending with some friends of his older cousin which he said they helped him a lot like with getting rid of bullies, even gave him money and some knives, took him to gym and teached him MMA.
>MMA and knives That explains it. How often does he punch holes in the wall?
>he has some serious psych issues he needs to work on with a therapist. probably this however, as assholeish as this may sound, she shouldn't stick to a guy with so serious of a condition it's a life ruiner
It's either: a) he was always like this and you never noticed, b) something happened that made him change (personal experience, abuse, drug usage), or c) someone changed him. I'm mostly leaning towards C, you seem like a caring girl, you would have noticed something.
Some thing that might have happened
>Someone told him that you were cheating on him (either telling him you were seen with someone else, or manufactured evidence to convince him) They might be trying to get him and get you out of the way, or maybe they want to be with you, who knows.
>He fell into an MGTOW, Jow Forums loophole about masculinity What you described was pretty much taken word for word from some of mgtow, incel, r9k books on masculinity or chad behaviour. Being emotionless, being physically strong and assertive, and things like that are some key points of thos philosophies.
>Some mental illness might have awakened People think that you are born with them, but things like stressful situations and drug use can awaken them. Mind you, you are born with them, but some illnesses don't manifest without a trigger.
Best of luck op
a lot when he is training at home as he said to strenghten his knuckles especially that the in commie blocks the walls are very hard the problem is that i love him very much and i can't in general imagine a day without him, if i do it this will make him feel even worse
Maybe he got something he didn't have before back when he was happy. Could be schizophrenia or it's symptoms life hearing voices. Happened to a good friend of mine
I think it's B and C, once we had a talk about unhappy memories and our troubles, he was telling me a lot of stuff like how he lived into a not so stable family with parents far away from him, was multiple times sexually abused as a child by strangers and he no longer remembers who are they, had troubles with older ones and was picked on at school, I feel like those guys that he befriended teached him to be into a way and this triggered him to get even worse than they said.
Break up with him. And assume he is going to really go psycho and probably violent with you and any guy that comes near you. It would be best if you could move away and not tell him where.
If you don't you will live to regret it.
Sounds like he might be developing schizophrenia. Run while you can.
I don't think he would end up like this, after all he still sane For me running is not an option, what I want is to help him
>I want him back the way he was before, not like this Well, you can't. The unfortunate truth that you're going to have to face is that people change. Nobody stays the same forever. The man has devolved into a state of paranoia and violence and your only options are to either save yourself or sink with him and possibly endanger your safety. Right now you're not dating a person - you're dating a memory, the wish that he could be someone that he isn't. Its time for you to face reality, OP.
it sounds a bit like depression to me, but the point is he wont change back or at all if he doesn't want to. Talk to him, say you dont like who he has become, and if he doesnt want to change then you cant stay with him anymore
Tell him to see a psychiatrist and take his meds This isn't normal and you can't fix it on your own
It's probably your fault for being a whore and 90% likely if you had treated him right this wouldnt have happened
It's definitely a masculinity thing. You said he used to be emotional and all that, %95 chance he hated that about himself and wanted to turn into an asshole. He probably thought that's how successful people are and fell for the low hanging fruit. If you want him you should ask how he really feels about himself and if he isn't honest with himself, don't expect a nice answer. Speaking as someone who almost fell into this kind of thing, hard.
Leave him. As a man, I'm telling you with confidence that he doesnt love you anymore. He loves himself more than he loves you. Once you leave him he'll realize his mistakes.
I was thinking about to take him to a psychologist or psychiatrist, but I don't know how to tell him and not look like I do need one I hope to be this and not something worse Probably not, in general we spend a lot of time together and acts normally with me
Imagine if you marry this guy and he becomes even more paranoid that you're cucking him with every guy, I'd give him a few years before he starts beating you because he's convinced you're cheating on him.
The guy sounds like a nutjob who was capable of hiding his insanity around you for the most part, and has probably become more lax about it since you've been together for 5 years so he feels more comfortable letting his true self show around you.
Try your best to "fix" him if you want, but if you're not even considering leaving him as an option then you unironically deserve what's coming for you.