So my girlfriend (age 39, I am 27) knows a few couples in her circle who happen to be poly right and one of em is a physical trainer guy and his wife. Girlfriend has had this muscle spasm for a while so she mentions she wants him to come train us both in some exercises, and in exchange since she's a massage therapist, will give him a massage in the living room where I can be present and participate in the exercises as well. Then she says she wants this to be a regular thing, even when I'm at work.
I told her I'm not comfortable with that because he's poly and I don't want a guy I've met like twice alone with her at my house. She says well I live here too and you need to trust me. I can't help that your childhood fucked you up and you can't trust etc etc. We have had arguments that resulted in her telling other people our shit and almost all the mutual friends we had have stopped talking to me or straight up unfriended me on FB. She won't admit to having said shit behind my back and doesn't seem to care that I have no one to talk to about any of this, yet she says I'm the one she wants to eventually marry.
So I told her if we can't agree on anything and I find out you bring someone here without me present ever, I'll put your stuff outside and your dog (which I bought) in the pound. Then she got in her car and left and I followed her, she tried to slow down abruptly so I'd back off then switched lanes a bunch of times, finally parks at her work tells me we're done because I won't let her have "alone time" and disappear god knows where. She says we're done and that following her ruined any chances we had. She's typing on her phone to one of her gal pals making "go away" hand motions at me so I say fuck it and leave.
>So my girlfriend (age 39, I am 27) Stopped reading here. Just leave her dude.
You both sound trashy
So I went to my counselors office and he's busy ... so I go home and there she is sitting on the couch, tells me she "was tired and had to pre" so she came home and by the way the guy in question and his wife aren't poly any more these days because it hurt the relationship when they were but regardless she feels like I don't trust her and she feels I'm crossing boundaries by always checking up on her etc. And that this guy friend doesn't want to interfere or be involved with our relationship so the exercise thing is off. Somehow I wonder if they are just being wary because I caught some bullshit. But that's just my trust issues right?
Now she says a condition of the relationship continuing is for me to not check up on her whereabouts via FB video chat anymore, to have complete trust and let her leave for hours when she needs "alone time" and not question it, to just trust her 100%. She admits she is otherwise just staying here because she has nowhere else to go. She says I must do things to save the relationship like get on medication, let her disappear, etc. I tell her these things are shit and I will never allow them. She says ok then we are in agreement that we're done.
What the fuck? I do admit to having a hard time trusting her or any significant other I've had in recent times, and I am somewhat codependent sure, and I can get angry and yell sometimes but she's basically saying the work I'm doing to be better is not good enough. It's impossible to reason with her and it's as if she is stunted and is projecting all her shortcomings onto me.
Good on you for standing your ground.
And why the hell are you dating women so much older than you user
Dump your girlfriend, learn to be independent. Get a better one that’s not a disrespectful cunt
She's 39 and acting like this?
You're fucked if you stay here, user. I've seen teens act with more empathy than your gf.
Thx and bruh like I just want a soft cute doting wifey I can cuddle with. The idea was that an older woman is ready to settle in long term for cozy movies in bed and sexings. But apparently that's not enough, and apparently women don't change that much with age mentally. I envy the gays who have their best bud to spend time with, too bad I'm not attracted to that.
Yeah I know this is probably the healthiest option for me at this point. I let her move in with me after like 8 months of dating and I overlooked a lot of red flags regarding her attitude like her being feminist and single at 37.
Yeah she told me she had a horrible childhood and shitty parents so they probably fucked her up emotionally, I have also been with a borderline before and this one is like BPD-lite, I can say that its almost comical to hear her argue in circles and completely sidestep anything I bring up regarding accountability for her actions, but it's like at this point I'm also wasting my precious life energy on something that just won't reciprocate.
>is 29 >dating a 51 year old
She's a logical woman who never nags. There's so much less bullshit in the relationship . And yet she also has this innocent naivete that's cuter than most women. She hasn't even had a cigarette in her life!
I'll wait 'til I'm 50 and rich so I can teach my children to be absolute badasses over teaching them that their future is wage slavery.
>(age 39, I am 27) You love used goods, don't you?
It’s hard, I lost a 10 year relationship with 2 kids I never see now nearly 2 years ago, I still have moments I crave my old family. But I’m a hell of a lot more independent and manage my life quite well. I’ve dated a couple of women for semi long periods and still take it fairly hard when we split but I’m definitely stronger than I was. Just do it and you’ll get there, start now before it gets too hard
You don't have to trust anyone.
She has the right to do anything she wants.
It's a simple matter: break up.
Not for anything other than the fact that she's an old cow and you have 10+ years on her.
Last thing you need is to knock her up. She'll trick you into it. Get out, now.
Uhhh don't date people you can't trust. If you think she would cheat then you guys are fucked anyways I guess. Yeah to the guy situation it's weird. But she is aloud to also have friends or not report to you. Your equals your not her dad. If she actually shows signs of cheating then react.
Women need space my guy. Seems like she's trying to tell you exactly what her needs are and you're not really paying attention. She's also exhibiting behavior that seems very sketchy to me, so I would leave her because I don't think I could get past it and I absolutely have to trust the person I'm with. But if you don't leave her you have to give her the space and basically wait and see what happens.
Literally don't be that overbearing guy, it's a turn off that will make her leave you eventually, even if she's not cheating.
You dodged a bullet. Don't chase after anyone, they're not worth it.
It's pretty disrespectful to ask you to watch her give another guy a massage, it's childish man. If she needs a massage she could go out and get one, why the fuck would she ask to have a guy over "even while you're at work"? That's shady as hell
I hate people who just tell you to dump your SO
But fucking dump her, she's cancer in human form.
>And why the hell are you dating women so much older than you user >not wanting to stick your dick inside pic related
Why are you dating women at all? Take the gaypill already
>Then she got in her car and left and I followed her You're straight up psycho lmao dude livin his best life
You're fucking psycho, but there's something wrong with her for wanting to stay with you. That you don't have friends that you can talk to says a lot about you.
You can cause massive trouble for yourself with an illegal eviction. I'd try to calm down a lot on your crazy, break up with her amicably and get her out of your home voluntarily as quickly as possible (and if she drags her feet at all about leaving you need to figure out how to evict her legally -- you don't need to make it confrontational at first, it's way easier if she leaves on her own).
You don't trust her, you shouldn't be dating her. It sounds like you're controlling and want someone that doesn't have any friends and only spends time with you, so maybe what you should do is get therapy to deal with your shit before you try dating anyone else.
You’re a fucking fool. I married a 40 year old woman when I was 24. It was one of the worst decisions I've ever made. And I've done some stupid shit.
This is what drew me in tho, the logic aspect and less bullshit. But less bullshit means my shit has less room. And some of it comes from deeply rooted insecurities and pain. We both have our shit but she acts like she knows so much better because she is older. I understand she thinks I'm too pushy by following her the other day but this goes further than that.
I asked her what we're doing as far as the relationship and she says she wants to come to my counseling sessions and whether we stay together depends on what happens in counseling ? Wtf
I can't even afford consistent counseling and I told her this, and her response was "I don't think that's something you want to say to me"