How the fuck do you get over the anxiety of making a move on a girl?
When a was a young kid I was super shy and barely ever talked to my little crushes, when I did it was usually in a purely friendly manner and I'd never end up saying anything that could be even be interpreted in any other way.
When I got a little older figured I'd meet someone and we'd hit it off and it'd be natural, so I didn't really try.
But now I've realised that it doesn't just work like that and I actually have to put the effort in, but putting the effort is such a foreign and intimidating concept to me that I just can't bring myself to do it.
I also have a lot of anxiety and really low self esteem. I'm trying to work in other ways to improve myself eg gym, therapy, working, social life, etc but this is easily the hardest thing to tackle and I'm scared I'll never figure it out. I've literally gotten a girl's number (only because her friend was literally begging me to ask for it in the background) once on a night out and never messaged her because I was so anxious and nauseous. I've also walked away from situations where I was most likely about to have sex because I got anxious and nauseous.
I know the main answer is "just do it" but I don't really know what "it" is. I don't know how to text, how to approach, how to seal the deal, any of it. Not in a romantic context, not in a purely sexual context, not in any context - I literally have no clue and I think that + my anxiety is what makes this so difficult but I don't know how to beat it.
Women are hard
How the fuck do you get over the anxiety of making a move on a girl?
I just don’t ever make a move
Then I shitpost on Jow Forums
It’s like getting into a cold pool. You just decide, then go. No more thinking about it.
Get an escort bruh.
You'll eventually find that whores aint shit.
This is the reason we keep asking “How many women have you asked out in person in the last year?”
Bro I've asked out around 25 women in my life and been turned down every single time. I'm done wasting my time with that.
Stop trying. Girls usually just come and go. It has worked for me
Let me put it this way OP. If you have a job doesn't matter what it is, go to school (you don't have to if you can't), and have at least a few friends you shouldn't be ashamed to ask a girl out especially if you're pretty young. Women will usually only start filtering when they're nearing their 30's and beyond so if you're not serious then be wary about asking them out unless they're just in it for kicks. Women will only reject neets and loners. This is pretty much what I figure from my experience.
you just do it, no easy way.
it gets easier with time tho.
Based and chanpilled
Continue aging. Slowly realize nothing matters fucking is fun and you have nothing to lose.
>I know the main answer is "just do it" but I don't really know what "it" is
Well here it is. I'm no playboy pickup artist but this is how it always starts when I go out.
Approach, and say hello casually. That's the entire scope of the operation. Thereafter you have a social beachhead from which to maneuver. Look around at the girls where you are, meet their eyes, see if they give any indications of interest: a smile, a grin, an arched eyebrow, a softening look, a nod, a wave, finger guns, whatever, basically anything that isn't breaking eye contact immediately, her face hardening, or a cringe/smile when she sees you. If they do break eye contact immediately, look away, and if you keep GLANCING her way periodically (say, every few mins) and keep meeting eyes, that's probably an indication of interest too, unless she starts mumbling to her friends and motions them all to look at you.
>"hey, how's it going?" (Neptune initiated)
manners dictate she say she's good and ask the same of you
>"I'm good, you?"(Neptune success)
>Op. Overlord: expanding social beachhead, begins
manners now dictates you also say you're good. But include a VERY brief sentence about what you were doing prior to being there that day
>"I'm good, went and did X with Y people today, it was great."
This creates an invitation for her to inquire more about you, but more important tactically, invites her to also share what she did with her day. From here you ask questions about what she did, what she's into, what she does for work, and so on, relating with your own experiences VERY briefly as they intersect in terms of activity, reasoning, underlying motivation, or emotions. Overlord is a success when several mins pass conversing without introducing yourselves. Overlord closes with you asking her name as if it's a sidenote to the conversation. Rapport created. Theater is set for future offensive operations.
That's how I go about it, anyways. Good luck out there user.
WOAH BASED NIHILIST
DUDE WANNA WATCH RICK AND MORTY WITH THE BROS TONIGHT?
THEN WE COULD GO TO THE BARCADE!!!!
Kys, maybe it’ll stop this garbage philosophy from spreading
>be neet and loner
>want tips on overcoming my autism
>read this post
>return to the Mojave Wasteland
How autistic are you? I thought I was autistic but I got screened and apparently I'm not. I guess my problems socializing stem from insecurity and past traumas.
fucking this. i used to be a timid wimp, when my ex left broke up with me after 5 years i went through a screw it phase and asked out literally almost every girl ive ever had a crush on straight up in person. got some no's, got some dates, going out with one that i had the best sex of my life with 2nd date. for your comfort zone, youre probably best starting off with Tinder. Tinders about 70% looking for a 1 night thing, 30% looking for legit long term. find yourself one looking for long term, text for a week, meet up. wear a clean dress shirt, wear clean jeans, shave. if shes down for a 2nd date after that, shes into you
as long as youre not butt ugly, dressing nice with nice cologne will land you some fairly good looking women, dont have a shit personality and you'll land yourself one. you have to realize the gene pool of men is pretty shit these days, half are BO smelling neckbeards
What's a neckbeard? Is it a guy that lets his beard grow down his neck and basically gives the impression he doesn't groom himself?
basically some overweight guy that takes 0 care of appearance, no facial grooming, smells like BO, gut hanging out of a 20 year old T-shirt 2 sizes too small, etc
seriously, confidence and dressing/smelling good and not being weird are the biggest things you can do to pick up women. every girl ive landed has said it was my confidence and composure/appearance that did it for them, looks-wise im 7/10 maybe 8/10 at best with some muscle but could stand to lose 15-20lbs
I'll join u
This is the kind of anecdotal advice that’s just so fucking useless. Firstly the subjective attractiveness rating is for others to give you not for you to give yourself. You can’t fairly judge a thing like that. “Be confident” is no more advice than “Earn lots of money”. So your dates told you later that it was your confidence/appearance that attracted them to you, great, how does that advise anyone at all on how to improve their situation? Just fuck off and stop shitting up the board.