We've been married for two years, but I still have this thought in the back of my head - that if it had been any other woman in my place right now, he would feel the same. That he doesn't actually feel any love for me but needs someone with him who keeps his company, packs him lunch, has sex with him... I don't feel special to him. I sometimes see how guys talk about their female crushes and it honestly hurts I know my husband doesn't feel nearly 1% infatuated with me as these men do with the women they fell for. I am just kind of - "there"...
How can I know if my husband really loves me?
Check his messages with his close friends. Chances are, he'll mention you a lot of he's infatuated with you. If not, perhaps trying to think about what he's done recently to show any remote feelings this week, then consider the month, then consider special days. Did he forget an anniversary? Does he do things for you that you may have taken for granted?
My friend for example, orders flowers and changes them every so often. His partner didn't realise this, since she never bought the flowers. It's the small, subtle things that can sometimes be someone's only way of expressing love
Why have you not expressed these feelings to your husband? Remember that men are not prone to expressing themselves in the ways that women do.
No way he talks to his friends about me haha I would even bet some of his friends don't even know he has a wife... it makes me sad to say it but I know he wouldn't... but he's always been kind of cold in everyone's treatment so it's not that that bothers me.
I just wish I could feel him want me.
I tell him I want to go out with him to X and Y and he just goes on with it, it's too rare of him to initiate a date night to the point I can't remember when was the last time.
No he didn't forget our anniversary. Well he had work last time that day but got home with flowers. But I mean, what if he does it because he feels obliged to, because he is my husband? Not because he really wants me? I don't even know, am I being immature?
Is this normal in a relationship, to feel that your man doesn't have feelings for you?
Don't you think he should know how I'm feeling if he loved me..?
Dudes do not talk about GFs with each other unless things are going really poorly (even then it's rare). The only time guys will talk about girls is when they brag about their conquests or who they want to fuck.
He kind of sounds like how I am right now. Actually, this worries me a little bit. I wonder if my future woman will feel the same way you do because I dont see the point of showing off a woman I'm with all the time. Doesnt mean I dont love her.
Also this here OP. I cant remember the last time my homie's talked about their girl with infatuation. The only time any of my homie's brought up a girl was when there was issues going on.
No, that's retarded. Your husband is not a fucking mind reader.
Yes and no. I know for a fact they do just not out of the blue. Lets say my bud asked me what I did last weekend, I would say I went with my gf to the festival. If she did something that stuck to my mind in a good way I would say she liked the food [insert name] or something along those lines while avoiding anything that would embarrass her people knowing.
Are you retarded? Or do all women really think people are supposed to be mind readers
if you know you're not just being picky and can sense a lack of love/passion/connection your mind is probably telling the truth.
is he ever mean to you?
ever excited to be with you?
ask your opinion on stuff?
Hey OP. I'm a 24 year old man and I've been married to my wife for 2 years. There's a lot to consider when you ask this question but the thing that is 100% neccessary for you to do is bring up these feelings with him. My wife has a huge problem bringing up what shes upset about and normally once she brings it up and we talk about it, we can move towards fixing the main issue.
One thing you should find out is how you both Express love. This helps you recognize when your significant other is loving you in a way you arent used to. I Express love physically so I prefer to show my wife I love her through physical affection whereas she expresses love by doing things for me, she'll offer to take over a task I'm doing or go out of her way to get me something I like.
Everyone is different so there's no good one stop shop for advice about your relationship but if 6ou can sit down and talk with your husband truly about anything, you'll be able to work out any issues.
Sounds like you need to talk to him.
He probably doesn't know there is a problem and it just builds up inside your head.
Don't just blurt out "why don't you love me" one day and ambush him with this. You are on the same team, work together.
Communication OP. You talk. If you do not talk, then the man thinks everything is ok. So he doesn't mind. But you will think nonsense in your head and it won't get you anywhere except cause you to worry. Stagnation is not good. Good communication is.
> Or do all women really think people are supposed to be mind readers
Yes, it's infuriating
Communicate. I would honestly ask him bluntly, how he feels about me. I did this with my previous boyfriend and he could assure me that he loved me but that he also likely was incapable of being as fond of me as i was of him. 6 years into the relationship i asled him of he still loved me because i felt unloved and he afmitted that he didn't. That way we could separate as friends without any misunderstandings
Your marriage won’t last if she doesn’t communicate openly. She sounds like the type that hates herself.
I'm well aware. Shes currently in counseling for those issues and we are talking a lot to work through them. I'm very proud of her progress.
Yep, I moved away from my home town but kept in contact with all my friends from there, mainly for vidya and I would talk about girls I was interested in mostly first dates and the start. Most didn't go anywhere and when I finally did get into a dedicated relationship they only really found out a year later when I said I needed to leave early to go see me girlfriend.
This is sad. All the best op
You'll lose attraction as soon as he is infatuated.