Can a person be happy with loneliness or am I just fooling myself?
Can a person be happy with loneliness or am I just fooling myself?
You are fooling yourself. We are creatures of social habits. True isolation fucks with us.
You're definitely just fooling yourself. Human brains have a social instinct that compels them to seek each other out and rewards them when they find a place in a group they feel they meaningfully contribute to, and punishes them when they don't. All moments of peaceful, happy isolation you read about are, first of all, fleeting, and second and most importantly, found within the context of an otherwise busy and social life.
Anyone who claims to be happy with loneliness is unironically coping
I'm so fucking used to it I can be happy on my lonesome now.
People are pieces of shit and too taxing to physically be around.
Yeah you sure do seem like a happy person.
Of course I'm not smiling and laughing like a retard. I'm not high off the same social drugs as they are.
Yeah, but is that genuine or are you just fooling yourself?
Genuine. I've been around people enough times and met enough to know when they're in it for that social high. They're absolute pieces of shit out there that only bother other people because they can't stand being alone. Social people are the same but they feign pleasantness and are hollow on the inside.
No you're not, you're definitely under the age of 20 and so relieved to be out of the constant social pressure of high school that it feels good. For now. That will change very soon, as it did for us all, and you'll be exactly where everyone else who has nobody is. You're not special in this and you're going to find that out hard.
If you're real unlucky you'll find a cope that is something along the lines of "staying alone is less suffering than putting myself out there, so I stay alone," which can last for years. Then when you finally snap out of it you'll be one of those mid to late 20's guys you see posting on here in desperation.
I weep for your future.
I've been alone my entire life. I've always had no one.
I feel sad that you can't find some joy from being free of cancerous shits like yourself.
Both happiness and loneliness are poorly defined constructs.
You can become content and experience joy when you're alone, but you seem to define happiness as an all encompassing state of being, which isn't how it works. You probably won't ever reach the Platonic ideal of "happiness" you have in your head because it's exactly that: an ideal.
On the other hand, loneliness is something that can always be shifted depending on how you want to feel. You can be alone when hanging out with two friends if your arbitrary social needs are defined to be three friends. You can be alone with thousands of Facebook friends if you arbitrary define "being social" as millions of friends. It all comes down to perspective.
In a way, you are never alone because you are with the universe (God, or whatever you want) at all times, but that's one perspective.
Still, all of that is a fairly constructionist viewpoint. An essentialist would probably go along with what says. There is evidence that our biological being has said boundary conditions that we cannot overcome. However, even this won't necessary make you "happy" or not "alone" again because both are poorly defined concepts that are capable of being shifted.
In all, I would condone you seek out social interaction, but be aware that there is no true arbitrary point at which you are satiated. I appreciate your viewpoint and desire for authenticity. Some people do seek out people and use them for social interactions. I've encountered these people, and it's obnoxious and disgusting. Still, I think it is possible to encounter people who are out to have authentic experiences and to share them with others. If you spend time doing the things you love, you'll probably run into people eventually. Don't rush it like some people do. Don't expect things from people. Just let things be and hope for the best.
27 year old here.
You're full of shit.
This is a much more nuanced subject.
Things aren't as black and white as you seem to think. No one person has an answer to how you should interface with others, but I'd imagine, as usual, the truth is somewhere in the middle ground.
Consider trying things out. Try to find out what works for you. Experiment. Don't just wall yourself into ultimatums of being when life is full of possibilities. Don't want to be social? Don't be for a while. You don't have to just choose now if you want to be social or not for the rest of your life. You have a lot of life ahead of you, and there's no reason to think that you aren't capable of different stages of being.
I don't care about trying anymore. There's nothing about socializing that's lasting or meaningful. The social high is a sick lie forced on everyone by society. I'm done trying to change myself to somehow be more compatible with a bunch of people I'll forget in a few years.
Then don't try. You don't "have" to do anything.
>There's nothing about socializing that's lasting or meaningful.
That's more black and white thinking. You don't have any data or evidence to truly back this up. You just FEEL that way because you're upset, but that does not make it rational. You leave things like "socializing", "lasting", and "meaningful" as all poorly defined so you can manipulate the definitions as needed to justify your negative emotions.
>The social high is a sick lie forced on everyone by society.
It's not a lie. It's a misconception that holds some kernel of truth that has been shifted as society shifts. There's no overlords dictating this shit. The world is a bunch of people trying to figure shit out, just like you. They do things because they have reasons to believe that it works. If you don't think it works for you, then don't do it. Try out something new.
>I'm done trying to change myself to somehow be more compatible with a bunch of people I'll forget in a few years.
That's fine. You can do what you want. Again, it doesn't have to be forever. You might have a change of mind or heart or whatever in a month or a year or a decade. You're free to do as you will, but you should consider making decisions in smaller segments than "forever".
>Then don't try. You don't "have" to do anything.
neither do you, why are you conversing with me?
Fuck off with your black and white bullshit. You think in the same manner calling it negative, idiot.
Forever is forever and I don't give a fuck.
You came to Jow Forums and asked a question. I assumed you were seeking advice, so that's what I was giving.
If you're going to insult me, then I'm done. Have a good life, user.
You too, thin-skinned shit bag. Have fun when everyone in your social circle dumps you when you're no longer convenient to them. I'm sure when you're done and have a change of heart things will be fine and dandy.
I don't have a social circle, user. I'm alone just like you. I have achieved the state that you are seeking.
The only difference is I don't wantonly insult and still have a desire to help others among other various virtues and life goals. It has to do with a sense of self-security.
It also has nothing to do with being "thin-skinned". It's an ability to recognize when someone wants to listen or not.
The lips of wisdom only speak to those of understanding.
Please, I've always been in this "state."
Do keep patting yourself on the back for your arbitrary self-aggrandizing virtues and life goals, it's adorable.
Jesus, do you huff your own shit?
Why make a thread on Jow Forums if this is how you're going to respond?
I'm not the OP, dumbass.
There's absolutely no way anyone could have known that. Communicate more effectively next time.
Does this sound like me, shitbag?
Get used to anonymous forums and read the goddamn thread.
That post has two words.
And is easily identifiable as the OP on account of not adding anything to the actual conversation. Why would I ask the OP's question if I already gave my answer to it?
Idk. Guess it depends on how you define "loneliness." I haven't had an extra-familiar "friend" since kindergarten. I have never hung out with anyone my age ever. But, I have my family (younger brother and mother mainly) and spend lots of time with them. I'm a social outcast through and through but I'm not totally alone. I don't mind having no friends. I don't know what it feels like to have them and I don't really want them.
I don't know, user. Because I don't know who you are, what exact posts have been you, or anything about you. You should try to consider a perspective where you aren't the center of everything and insult others when they don't treat you as such. I apologize for mixing you up with someone else. I was mistaken.
I mean you don't have to be "truly isolated"
there's still friends and family