My son is 8 and all he wants to do is play games and watch netflix/yt.
We obviously don‘t let him do only that, but it is really annoying to always having to basically force him to do anything else. If he‘s not in front of the screen, he‘s almost constantly asking when he can go back again.
Wtf went wrong and how do i get him to WANT and ENJOY doing other stuff?
We have plenty of opportunities for him. We have an awesome backyard with a huge trampoline and all the other outdoor toys available. We frequently go to the public pool as a family. I arrange for him to meet up with friends to play. He has a room full of legos and other really neat toys. We often play boardgames together. We visit the library once a week and get some books that aren‘t boring af (right now we‘re reading harry potter as his bed time story). We go to the forest and make bonfires. We visit stuff like museums or fun parks. Idk what else i am supposed to do.
I mean, we tried to take away the screen for a month straight in the hope his interest in other activities might „regenerate“. No luck. We tried not setting any limits on his screen time in hopes if him getting bored of it at some point. Nope. We tried putting up clear time limits and stuck to it. It‘s no help.
It isn‘t that we can‘t get him to tag along. But he‘s basically always annoyed that he‘s not in front of the screen and it‘s starting to have a toll on all of us. He‘s really dragging everyone‘s mood down. Should we just give up? This costs so much energy and i don‘t see any improvement even after years of keeping at it. Is there something else we could try to get him to enjoy being in the real world again? He makes me feel like it must be hell being part of this family since he always feels the need to escape into his other reality.
Kid is addicted to gaming/tv
My son is 8 and all he wants to do is play games and watch netflix/yt.
Fuck where is the problem? Let the kid play his games and watch tv! I did the same in that age and didn't end on wellfare.. just let him be who he is and don't try to change his personality. Would you go against it if he was "addicted" to reading books? I don't think so..
You probaly just don't understand the whole other reality thing cause your to out of touch with this Generationen.. all it does to him if you take what he loves is making him an angry young boy who hates the world and YOU
Good thing a fuckup like you will never put his spawn on this earth. Also good job comparing books to shitty netflix shows.
Damn who wan'ts to put kids in this world? :'D fuck netflix I'm a gamer and just protect that art from dipshits like you who want to destroy young souls with this no media bs
We did that. We tried just letting it go and letting him do his thing. But it is really excessive. Yes, if he would be addicted to escaping into books to the same extend, i‘d be worried too. My issue isn‘t that he‘s playing vidya/watching tv per se. My issue is that he has lost all interest in any social activities or other things. I‘d be just as concerned if all he would be doing is building huge lego monuments for 12h a day straight. I know i shouldn‘t impose my own ideas of how he‘s supposed to live his life on him, but you have to admit that it is kind of my job to make sure he has at least somewhat of a balanced starting ramp to start into his adult life. And if you ask me, staring at a screen from dusk till dawn isn‘t exactly the definition of balanced. I guess i‘m concerned he‘s going to end up as a lonely (because he never learned to socialize) and bitter (because he‘s lonely) guy, like the ones frequenting r9k.
Games aren't art, buddy. Also there's nothing wrong with raising children without media since it only fills their mind with garbage, has virtually no benefits and turns them to ESL faggots like you.
I don‘t think that‘s the case. I do understand it. I play myself. Sometimes a lot and i do enjoy it. But there are phases where i get bored of it and get the urge to do other stuff. That‘s all i would want for him.
Yes it is your job to do this that's for sure. Didn't thought it is that much. What does he play?
I agree with you that no media is not the way to go. I think there‘s value to be found in vidya and movies. But i also think it shouldn‘t replace real life 100%.
Tell this the creators of the witcher 3.. this game is art. Call of duty and other online shit where you only kill for fun are not the games i meant
Exactly. But i‘m kind of at my witt‘s end here.
He‘s 70% playing minecraft (online mini games or building worlds with others), the other 30% would be watching minecraft/roblox youtubers, netflix shows or playing roblox. Nothing else really.
He just had summer break and we did do a lot of things. But when we had a day at home and let him play as much as he wanted, he would literally play from when he woke up will he went to bed non stop. That just seems crazy. It‘s a bit better when he has school, since then he has less time.
Well if your luky he is like me and grows out of it in puberty. But till then it is some time left. If he loves building worlds you could try gardening with him if you have one?
Too late. You introduced him to a world much more satisfying and attractive than this wretched fucking place. He'll grow up to have no children and only go to work to feed his hobbies.
What replaced it? Did it just got boring at some point or did you have to wean yourself off of it intentionally?
I actually did try that. He was interested for a day and then it was boring again.
I‘m ok with that. IF he‘s happy with the way his life is. The issue here is that i doubt it. He might be able to escape and numb himself, but would he really be a happy person leading such a life? Not entirely convinced yet. I know a few guys irl who lead a life like that and they all feel like their life is empty and meaningless. They definitely aren‘t happy people and that‘s all i wish for my kids to be when they grow up. Obviously i‘m not naive enough to think they would be able to lead a happy life 24/7, but at least sometimes i hope for them to feel like they enjoy being in this world. But thinking of it, if he‘s completely zoned out into his games, he IS happy. So maybe i‘m just a fucking hypocrite, wanting him to be happy but on my conditions...
Life is empty and meaningless. Other people give you the illusion of fulfillment and meaning. When your child's off on his own and spouse is dead, you'll quickly realize it. Better to play vidya and not even bother to try than to break when you realize it all before the end.
My gf replaced it desu. Met her when we where both 13 and since then we are together. I'm 27 now btw. But I play games to this day. But only rpg's and only on weekends when I don't have to work. If you tried gardening and it works then you could take him to an animal shop, show him water turtles and build a pond together. Maybe he get's hooked if he needs to take care of small animal or reptiles.
Yeah, i went trough my nihilistic phase too. Life is empty and meaningless until you hive it meaning and fill it. Ofc it‘s all just an act. But it doesn‘t matter as long as you‘re enjoying yourself.
I actually just had an idea. He recently showed interest in starting his own youtube channel, making minecraft vids. Maybe i could help him learn how to make/edit vids that aren‘t pure crap. At least then he‘s also learning some other very valuable skills.
So there‘s still hope. That‘s good.
He‘s very social at school, he has a lot of friend (who mainly want to come over to play mc). He also had a few girls having a crush in him, but so far he‘s still in the „ewww girls“ phase, so we‘ll see about that.
Also, that‘s a cute story user. I hope you two grow old together.
We just got a little kitten. He‘s semi interested. He‘d play with her 5-10 mins a day, so that‘s already something.
I tried getting him interested in having some other pets, but it‘s all meh.
ween him off of it.
the next three months no TV or computer. He learned it from watching you so YOU need to go out with him. When you would have let him play a game for half an hour you take him outside for a walk for half an hour.
do this until he does it on his own
I'd get mad and just kick him out of the house
'go play outside for an hour and no screen time for today, you've had enough for weeks'
and then just let him figure out life on his own while you play vidya
>He‘s very social at school
>he has a lot of friend
>He also had a few girls having a crush in him
Hahaha, good lie. There's no way someone his age could have all that. You're definitely lying.
[spoiler]please tell me you're lying[/spoiler]
There is hope if he's social. But at the age of 8 I was the dame when it comes to girls. It's just to early. But the thing with the animals could work I think. Maybe the kitten is just to "boring" and not "cool" enough for him?
Yea thanks :) actually she is my fiancee since this summer. We get married in November cause we love the cold weather :'D
Sorry to dissapoint you, user. I don‘t know why i should lie.
I hate this fucking world so much.
Just ignore this LARPing Larry. He is not helping
Idk, he could have had any animal he wanted and he wasn‘t enthusiastic about it. We mainly got the kitten for his brother.
Aw, very cute. Good for you!
Thanks everyone for the input. I have to go do other stuff now. But this thread helped me sort out my brain a bit.
I'm happy I helped you a bit. Your welcome mam
Everybody plays videogames nowadays. As long as you make other activities for the kid he will be fine. Try to make him interested in sports or playing the guitar.
I'm not a parent but I teach special needs and can offer some advice as to how other parents I've seen tackle similar problems.
I think it's important that he understands that although something may feel good it's not necessarily good for you. That sitting and hardly moving for so long will stop your body from working as well and will make you feel worse.
I think you're definitely on the right lines when it comes to balance. Several students get 1 hour of screen time a day, this could be 1 hour of games or 2 episodes of a tv show or half a movie. They get to choose in advance what they want and in time the choosing becomes almost as exciting as the doing!
He probably is excessively spending time in front of a screen because when he doing that he doesn't have to think about the daily stresses of life. There's a lot of pressure at school now from such an early age. I would recommend trying to find out if something is bothering him that he's trying to block out.
if he likes block things he may like some lego.
At least read the thread before replying.
Beat his ass. Stop raising him like a pussy. Get him to play a sport so they hes forced to be distracted by something productive. Christ why even have kids in the first place when you're this autistic
BEAT HIS ASS OP
BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM UNTIL HE HATES YOU AND SPENDS EVERY WAKING MOMENT OF HIS LIFE TRAINING TO KILL YOU. ONLY THEN WILL HE GIVE UP THE VIDYA.
>Be an awesome parent
>Kid is still a little shit
This is why I never want kid desu.
I don’t have kids but I can tell you from personal experience at that age. My parents would help get my friends together for outdoorsy stuff so we could bullshit about whatever game was hot while we were out. Eventually when we got older me and the boys just started going out on our own.
I think at 8 years old there just wasn’t enough independence to go out and do stuff for me so I’d just stay in and play N64 games all day. If he’s using video games to socialize online then that’s at least a little better than how we had it as kids before the internet really kicked off.
>comparing books to shitty netflix shows
Have you read book? Do you even read? Do you read reference/textbooks for fun? No? Fuck you.
>Have you read book
Have you read a book*
Also, I agree that being addicted to media is a bad thing. I just hate people that fetishize reading books like it boosts your IQ to lvl 2000
DONT listen to everyone else who says to beat his ass. put him in a sports club and that’ll teach him discipline. find a sport he has a slight interest in and work with that. never hurt ur kids.
>Beat his ass
Enjoy jail and your son hating you.
Worth it if he doesn't end up a cucked pussy
If he's interacting with other kids, even online, there is hope. He's basically forced to socialize while at school already (unless his teachers tell you he's sitting all alone all day every day).
I'd say just set a hard limit on exposure, if you're worried. Be it 1 or 6 hours a day, it's your choice, let him take part in the decision. No ifs or buts afterwards, let him whine all he wants, you're not gonna punish him for whining anyway. I'd even recommend not involving yourself with "alternative activities", it's his own job to find something else to do, not yours, you can't orbit your son forever. I'd also limit the amount of money he's allowed to spend online (that's a bigger offender than screen time). Try to keep some balance with his friends' parents, don't do things too differently from them, your kid's social life is the most important thing right now, even if it's in a fucked up context.
Whether we like it or not, children are used to socializing online nowadays. They will be responsible for making the most out of it. We made the technology, we are the ones acting like it doesn't affect us, our children are only going to follow suit, children are not idiots. As an adult, you have to pass on your experience in a constructive way, not pontificate your thoughts about their own experience
put him in a sport
Show him the paths of his actions and the horrors that regressive behaviour creates.
I suppose if you want him to go outside more often, you could attempt to get him interested in something like skateboarding for example.
make clear daily limits.
back in my day my mom allowed me to spend so and so much time playing the nintendo and also made me spent part of my day outside. the rest i entertained myself with legos or arts n craft stuff. maybe have some projects with your son, like building something together (tree house? car tracks? wooden swords?)
admittedly it's not the 90s anymore and things changed, but games and all that pc stuff should be an addition to his life, not the focal point. you probably were to lax and aet no limits and now he's addicted to this shit. and who can blame him? smart phones and games are immediate gratification machines. basicall dopamine dispensers. of course he will want nothing else if you allow him to abuse the system
easiest solution would probably be to let him spend more time with friends. social interaction is the only thing more interesting/ rewarding than games n sht
you haven't administered enough beatings. new age parenting is a fucking failure.
I would also be willing to bet that if he could choose his meals he'd eat nothing by junk food. kids his age have no self control because they ruled by immediate rewards.
Kids are like dogs, they'll keep eating till they throw up if you let them.
My parents never put any restrictions on my computer time, but they required me to do other things too. Not just to do them, but to excel at them. I found other things I was interested in naturally.
There was a period of time when I was addicted to video games (maybe when I was around 13 or 14?).
My advice is to make sure your son is doing other activities besides video games, but also give him some flexibility to investigate other areas for himself. Instead of saying “you’re going to do track as your sport this winter” day “you need to do a sport this winter. Here are the options. Which do you choose?”
Don’t stress out about it too much. It seems like the idea of video games is something that you kind of reject. Be a little more open to the creative aspects associated with it- for example. Minecraft is creative like legos, but it also requires an understanding of engineering concepts and resource utilization. It might seem like he’s just staring at a screen, but in regards to mental stimulation i’d Say Minecraft is superior to legos even though there is something to be said about the physical benefit of using real blocks.
- From age 1-7 you feed the child.
You do not teach the kid stuff because his mind is not really developed to comprehend things.
- From age 8-14 you teach the child
The child brain is wired so it can understand concepts like good and evil. During this period you have to teach the child what is appropriate behavior and what is not. You do not do it in an authoritative way, because the child will rebel against you. You do it in a friendly way. If it is addicted to tv and games, let it go to sleep, and throw away the tv and the games. When it comes looking for them, act dumb. Say, I don't know. Let's try to find them. Make it an activity where you put the child on the same level as you. Figuring problems together. Do homework with him, ask him to explain to you how to do it. Interact with him. Spend more time with the child. Keep it in the kitchen where you cook, when you have a visit, let the child stay with you and be bored. It will pick up on how adults talk and it will try to imitate them.
- From 15-21 you befriend the child
If you act as an authoritative figure your child will look for advice elsewhere, usually from friends and strangers. Ask yourself if his friends would put a restriction on his behavior. The more stuff you do and teach the child, the more well off it will be. You teach it critical thinking, how to act, when someone says something. You share your problems with him. You say "My day was a bit hard, some bad stuff at work, but I think we can make it". By telling stuff to your child, you teach it to tell you stuff. Lead by example.
Well, i couldn't make it through whole topic and fortunately i don't have kids yet. OP honestly you kinda dumb. so called reading books is overestimated. Also i read books a lot. if you like it you do it if not you don't. you can't push. technically if you sitting all the time on pc you have of socializing but that same comes with book. Lets say difference between playing single player game with story and reading Harry Potter 0. Cause those books not teaching you much. Also if he is studying well - it's fine to let him play a lot. but did you actually try to find what he likes. its fucking toys it's sports and other stuff like guitar, swimming, singing, drawing etc. and those are kinda better than pc for health. but if you take professional sport it's not healthier. So if you want to find something think wider. read researchs. sorry for poor lang eng third lang.
screenshotting this shit if I ever get a lil shit
>this is why I never want kid desu
i laughed way more than I shouldve
And yet you're here on Jow Forums
What are you even trying to say, dude? Sounds like you're a nigger who's mad cause he never learned how to read.
Is he an only child? Theres your problem..
I was addicted to video as a teenager and my parents just throttled the internet connection. People watch Netflix/YT cause it's easily available. Make it scarce (but still accessible) and the need goes away.
Contact your ISP and ask them how to go about slowing down your internet connection. I bet there are lots of online tutorials for doing something like that via your home router as well. It's gonna involve some sacrifice on your part cause you want to make sure EVERY device is throttled otherwise he's gonna realize that mom's / dad's phone is faster and throw a lil tantrum. You want him to believe that it's something out of your control.
Arguably, a 2 Mbps (~200kbps downspeed) connection is the best. It allows for loading all webpages and OK streaming of 360p videos.
Ignore most of these guys here. Leaving video games was was the best thing that happened to me. A lot of people here don't realize how awesome it is to go out for a bike ride on empty suburbia streets with nothing but your thoughts to accompany you. Or to work on a puzzle for 2-3 hours only to finally "get it."
Here's my honest opinion, OP. You should spend time with your son doing what he wants to do. Show an interest in his interests and spend a little time in his world. Occasionally, invite him to yours. You're not going to "cure" his desire to escape into a screen, but by spending time with him investing in his own interests you accomplish so much more. You create points to relate because you can talk to him afterwards about what you both watched. He can teach you things about his interests giving you a better idea of who your son is. Investing a little time in his world will encourage him to be less put off of spending time in yours if only because the bond between you may carry over regardless of what activity you indulge in. He may even subconsciously feel, "they gave my world a chance. Maybe I should give their world more of a chance, especially since spending time in front of the screen with you was fun, so maybe other things can be fun because you're there." Build the bridge to a bond with a little open mindedness. Also, respect your ignorance. Opt to watch and ask questions if you know you can't play the game with your son, and don't feign interest. Most kids can tell. If your son isolates, not wanting you or anyone else around during this screen time, you might have bigger problems.
Luckily my parents let me play vidya and watch tv. It got me through all the bad moments in life and inspired me to become the person i am today. I have a good family, great friends and the best gf. I made good financial decisions in life. Maybe some kids can’t handle entertainment, but in would hate to know what would happen to my life if I wasn’t allowed to be obsessed/passionate about these things.
not going to be a great idea if he doesn't have any interest in the sport
t. parents tried to force me to do several different sports and I figured out I could get out of it if the coach kicked me out.
>Basketball coach is chewing out team
>"Anyone who doesn't want to be here, raise your hand!"
>obvious rhetorical prompt
>stand and lift it to the sky
>last straw for coach
>he tells parents he's not going to babysit me anymore
>I go back to PS2 while parents call a wrestling camp
what a fucking chud, yes that's why they're normies and you eat tendies.
if you want your son to do anything different you have to do it with him. you have to tell him and show him that doing things together make you happy and that you love and are proud of him. it doesn't matter what it is as long as you have patience and he develops proficiency. it could be studying rocks and leaves or rapping and dancing. you have to put in the work if you want to see your son do something else.