How do women have such an easy time befriending men and not wanting to be with them any other way...

How do women have such an easy time befriending men and not wanting to be with them any other way, when it seems like men are far less likely to do the reverse?

I mean, as a mid 20's guy I would think dating your "best friend" is almost a given, but apparently it's not that simple. Does it all just come down to physical attraction, or is there something else at play here?

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They don't have any feelings.

You have the mental maturity level of a teenager.

Women are boring af. If I wanted to hang around, Id do it with my bro. If I want a hole to fuck, I'll hang with a girl.

Okay, but explain why?

But I'm asking why women won't date guys they're good friends with, not if men find women boring, lel

Women are somehow capable of turning off that thought in their head that goes "Oh he has a dick, I should fuck him". They're less romantically attracted to men who they consider friends and can successfully suppress those feelings

I'm a 29 year old woman. I've almost exclusively dated my "best friends".

Have a lot of guy friends, though, and know more than a few are interested.

Mostly, I think it's women have more patience and room to be picky. There's a number of my friends I might have dated, but there were better options available or I just wasn't feeling it at the time.

^pretty much the first half of this

I disagree with the second half.

>suppress those feelings
Is it because those guys are friends, or do they find it easier to be just freinds with guys they're not attracted to? I'm pretty sure it's the latter but I like to always check myself.

I gotcha. Yeah, I get along with women fairly well. I rarely make actual best friends with them though. I don't force friendship as some ploy to get in their pants - it's more like we get along extremely well, then often feelings start to creep in.

>patience and room to be picky
That makes sense, yeah.

>wasn't feeling at the time
Did those feelings ever change?

I feel like I'm being misunderstood. I don't want to fuck women just because they have a vagina. It's more like "hmm, we get along extremely well, so i don't see why a relationship wouldn't work".

because guys want to fuck them and will think they're interesting because they want to fuck them
girls are the same way, they just don't want to fuck as many guys as guys want to fuck girls.

Women are just more open to friendships than men are.

Just because she sees a relationship as platonic doesn't mean that she thinks that you're beneath her lookswise, either. Hot girls have hot guys as friends that they just see platonically because they are more open to being friends with someone that they aren't trying to fuck.

Men are much more likely to always be trying to fuck any woman that they find attractive and are only willing to be friends with the ones that are ugly but still cool somehow.

unlike guys, girls will also lead guys on who they aren't interested in because it boosts their ego (and depending on the girl they see them as someone to manipulate)

guys I've seen who already have attractive girls that are interested in them pretty consistently brush off and mock unattractive girls who talk to them

Because women's sexuality works differently then male sexuality. If you are a man you are most likely sexually attracted to any fertile woman around you. Women don't have that constant pressure on them. Their sexuality is reactive, not active. At least most of the time.

>Men are much more likely to always be trying to fuck any woman that they find attractive and are only willing to be friends with the ones that are ugly but still cool somehow.
nah, I know an "ugly but still cool" one that gets shit on all the time by most guys. Or they wind up as FWBs until the guy finds one that's more attractive.

There's way more to attraction than the physical. Sometimes people just have the right chemistry. Most of the time they don't. I think if you were to reflect on the true extent of women in your life--acquaintances, friends, classmates, colleagues, etc.--you'd find that you're actually just as able to befriend women without wanting more. You might even get to know them quite closely over time. I'm personally not convinced that men do it any less frequently than women.

I can speak as someone that has dated a best friend, and someone who has a strictly plantonic best friend.

#1: My best friend Ken and I moved in together after 4 years. We did everything together, and shit couldn’t be better. I never looked at him ‘that way’, plus he had long hair which I hate, and I didn’t think he was attractive. On a vacation together, he kissed me. I was shocked and actually got nauseous. It was... weird. I even cried because... it kind of felt like a betrayal? Like finding out your favorite coach jerks off to you, if that analogy makes sense lol. We talked and he assured me it was ok, and he loved me as a person and friend even if I didn’t reciprocate, I felt better. And then... I don’t know. Something clicked in my brain and i switched to “please fuck my brains out” mode and he magically became attractive to me.

#2: my best friend Jake and I’ve known each other since we were 12, but we didn’t get close until college at 17. He’s been my best friend for over a decade. He’s attractive, but I don’t really see him “like that”, and he feels the same toward me. Aside from it being weird, we’ve never gotten together because... what we have is so much more important. If we broke up, I’d be lost, and so would he. I’m his rock when shit really goes bad for him, and vice versa. It’s a different kind of intimacy that I don’t their either of us is willing to risk. Additionally, we’re just not compatible in a lot of ways. We’re both 29, and he wants bio children, and I plan on adopting if anything at all. I don’t think we’re sexually compatible either, he doesn’t like giving or receiving oral and those are my favorite activities.

Tl;dr: I feel like my brain just has two different modes, and I’m able to operate as if you’re dickless with ease. I can’t say how we got there to begin with, because they’re both so long ago I don’t recall the beginnings of our friendships.

I seen an interesting study once that studied male and female attraction. the result? men thought 50% of women where average or above while women thought that only 20% of men where average or above.

there could be other things at play but I imagine that women don't think of most men as attractive and therefore never want a relationship with them. while men think of most women as attractive and want a sexual relationship with them.

Women make it abundantly clear they want your dick, there’s no guess work.
So guys who orbit female friends for pity sex are really just wasting time on a person who doesn’t want them.
Men can be friends with women they are attracted to, it just takes maturity and a decent sex life to not be so thirsty.

>Women make it abundantly clear they want your dick, there’s no guess work.
>So guys who orbit female friends for pity sex are really just wasting time on a person who doesn’t want them.
Not always the case, I had a friend who would constantly and very blatantly flirt with me (I'm usually oblivious to flirting and this was still obvious), then when I actually asked her out, her reaction was "omg no I don't like you that way"

I decided to move on and pursue another girl, and as soon as she found out she started acting like she was suddenly into me again. As soon as the other girl rejected me, she immediately lost "interest".

Eventually I realized she just likes collecting orbiters and jumped ship. It was pretty satisfying to see after that she started losing more and more friends of both genders as everyone began to realize she was a manipulative cunt. Even her most dedicated orbiter looks like he finally left too, or at least isn't as vocal as he used to be. saw the first dude as a bud...then he got assertive and that turned you on.

You might feel the same way about the other friend if he got assertive.

Women are so weird. Friendships are made of all the qualities that make for a good spouse. Men find those qualities attractive.

Women on the other hand find shit attractive that has nothing to do with taking care of children or protecting and caring for the wife. They find assertiveness attractive. Maybe the assertive dude is also kind, maybe he's a bully and abusive, who knows, but it gets the vag wet.

Well firstly, I depended on Ken a lot less than I do Jake. Jake and I’s friendship is different in a way that’s hard to articulate. I’m sure the attraction could grow, But we’re not compatible as a couple for the very valid reasons I already listed, as well as others.

As far as what I look for and am attracted to, it IS pretty much what makes up a best friend. Kind, empathetic, same sense of humor, can have comfortable silences. But I also need someone with compatible life goals, someone I’m able to argue with in a healthy way, etc.

Probably because men start most multi gender friendships.

Men are just more out going. They start the friendship. They also usually want to date a friend first.

Women tend to just take what life gives them.

Most of your female friends probably aren't even very good friends. They just keep you around as part of a social network. Women are wired to build social networks. It's how they would survive 1000s of years ago. Maybe trade some cotton for fish in the winter.

Some girls take being nice as intrest. Matter of perspective imo.

>But we’re not compatible as a couple for the very valid reasons I already listed, as well as others.

You're over thinking it. People match with imperfect couplings all the time. Do you think your parents agreed on everything?

Crap like this is how so many girls end up with abusive men. Abusive men start relationships fast. They get in before girls can make these shopping lists of why someone is a bad match. They might even lie to get around that list.

Really all that matters is do you find this person attractive and do you like spending time with them.

>how was this unrecognized?

I hate to ruin your theory but I should add- my current boyfriend, who I truly picture myself marrying and having a future with... we were friends for awhile and always had a mutual crush on each other.
He is short, fat, nerdy, and the LEAST assertive person I’ve ever met, lol. His dream is to be human wallpaper.

I don’t think it was the assertiveness of Ken that turned me on, it was being wanted. Something in my brain clicks after I find out someone likes me and it’s just like... “well gee I guess... I like you too???”

Which part are you referring to?

If you're talking about the second, there's a guy I know who's definitely interesting to talk to, but he also constantly talks shit about other people (especially unattractive girls interested in him) behind their back, but somehow they're either naive enough to believe he wouldn't talk like that about them, or thirsty enough that they don't care.

I’m not having kids. Ever. This is something important to him. I don’t want to get into other stuff, but he also doesn’t like me in that way either.

I get where you’re coming from, as in “I wish I could find a guy like you!” when they ARE a guy like them, but it’s not like that. He’s a bad example because it’s hard to explain, but for the MOST part, I agree with what you’re saying. I didn’t write off Ken for that exact reason- what’s better than dating your best friend?

The first. Just speaking from the perspective of a person who could have been misunderstood.

The first part I elaborated on more with I'm sure what you're saying is the case plenty of times, but I'm not going to forget what I've dealt with from that cunt any time soon.

Can any of you guys help? I felt like I was orbiting this girl hard but it isn’t so simple and it eventually pissed me off. We had only known each other for a couple months but she was the one who asked for my number and asked me to hang out with her literally every single time. However when we first hung out she made it clear that she had a lot of guy friends and would ask me advice about this dude she was into and that she wasn’t attracted to her past boyfriend physically. I probably should have stayed away but I had no romantic interest at first until I spent more time with her.

She kept me around for some reason and would ask me to watch movies with her on her bed, get food and cook with her, facetime with me. She kept escalating but I didn’t want to spend that much time with her unless we were fucking because being that close too her made me develop feelings. One night after a movie she asked me what I was looking for in a relationship, if I liked to cuddle, and that I shouldn’t worry so much about trying to find a relationship so much because even if it doesn’t seem like a girl is sending signals, she might actually be. She also made it clear that she didn’t expect to get that close to me.

However, not getting into details other than she said she “didn’t see me that way” and “that’s just what I do with my guy friends”, I stopped talking to her until summer when she texted me again and has continued to do so. I don’t really know what she wants, especially because we get along super well but there’s no obvious flirting between the both of us. I don’t care if I acted like a pussy but should I stay away or try to really see what the hell she actually wants from me?

For women it works like having a video games backlog, they have so many options to choose from that men for them lose value and will give special treatment to guys they are interested in.

That depends if you can trust yourself to stay wary of the situation.

I don't know her so I can't give you a real answer.

You should probably just flirt with her. Either things will move forward or it will get awkward and she will leave you alone.

she's playing games or really immature. Idk how old you guys are but I would just stay away. If you become romantically involved with her would you even be okay with her having so many "guy friends"?

Because men are ruled by their sexual urges.

Obviously why I didn’t want to pursue her. Yet we haven’t even discussed common interests/hobbies and yet we get along extremely well. Like everything is funny and energetic which I guess could be considered flirting? I just got too close (I’m not super extroverted...I go on this site) and clearly I quickly became someone who was important to her

Because women take what's for granted, what comes to them, they dont chase after someone, its usually the opposite for men.

There is a sexual urge deficit between men and women, so higher demand from men, while the amount of women into sex remains the same, thus they have a lot of room to pick from.

Also, women are into romantism, and ever since they're young, through books, disney movies, series, even phone games, they grew up with that "prince charming" concept in their minds, they expect someone perfect to come in their lives because thats what they always dreamed of, so they subconsciously have very high standards, because they expect to have their own love story, with a hot, but genuine and kind guy, wich should also be somewhat mysterious and shit so the whole adventure becomes even more thrlling, you know what Im talking about.

So combine the fact that they're mostly inactive in a relationship, that they have a lot of room to chose from compared to men, and that they have very high expectations from their future lover, and you get what a woman is today, extremely picky by nature.

Its like if you were born a rich kid with shit tons of toys without having to do anything to get what you want, cause dad and mom love you so much they'll offer you anything on command, you'd be bored with your toys and would constantly take things for granted, thus, you find no joy in playing with those toys, the only things that you would want are the things that you dont already have, AND that are hard to obtain because too expensive even for mom and dad, then you'd constantly dream about that one super expensive toy, thinking about this toy, making research on it, looking for sales, is what keeps you active and out of boredom.

This is the same for men, you need to be superior, the "alpha male" concept is real, you need to stand out, with look, money, fame, skill, kindness, whatever makes you unique, but also, dont orbit around her, be that "expensive" toy.

As a girl i can say this generally speaking: Guys are often more fun to be around and are more loyal friends

I met my husband 10 years ago, so its safe to say we have a shared friend group now, but as the years passed by and people got jobs and houses and kids and whatnot, we almost exclusively hang out with his original friends and their SO's

I dont know, but it seems friendships with men tend to be a lot more durable and require a lot less maintenance than between two girls/women

I have three women i consider my oldest friends, and as they all settled down we have barely seen eachother since they are always "too busy". Meanwhile my husbands friends have visited a tonne and it seems their friendships never die even though they havent spoken in years. For example this June an old friend of my hubby (whom i know he hadnt seen in like 2 years) stayed with us for a concert. This is the conversation they had as he came in the door
>Hey asshole
>What the fuck do you want?
>Need to use the shitter
>Fuck off, you are going to ruin our bathroom
>Look whos talking
>Want a beer?
>Fine i'll guess i'll have whatever rat piss you are serving

That interaction kinda stuck with me since it was so bizarre compared to what women do. When i meet my old friends its all hugs and kisses and gleeful squealing and promises of catching up but it never happens

I hate women...

I think we’re less physically attracted to men, period.

Guys seem to look at most girls and contemplate them sexually on some level. I look at men and sexual contemplation doesn’t even cross my mind— and even when it does, I usually dismiss it.

You might be biased. My godmother was my mom’s friend while she was pregnant with me and they’re still close friends that keep in touch even though they’re across the other side of the country. And my mom’s best friend from college is still her best friend today— almost 35 years later. It just depends on the people.

My mom has a lot of female friends, not just those two. And most of them have lasted years. She met a lot of them through academia though.

I don’t date my guy friend because his dad is a dangerous guy I don’t want to be around with. He doesn’t live with his dad atm in campus but there is a possibility he could go back. I was so disappointed to find on who is dad was because he was genuinely a nice guy.