my husband and i have been together for a few years this recent july. I love him more than anything He works at a business that requires him to socialize with guests, who sometimes happen to be drunk. he told me very happily that he was hit on twice. i thought, 'that's nice. it always feels good to get compliments', but it didn't end there. he kept on talking about one of the girls who hit on him, saying she was pretty cool and cute, and that he had gotten her number. uhh.. well earlier today i saw him texting her (we have the same type of phone, so i saw her name on the display and that they'd sent a couple of messages between each other). i started freaking out a little, so when he was in the bathroom i checked the messages to find they'd been deleted.
i asked him why he did it, and he kind of just said 'to protect you, i didn't want you to worry about it, i guess it backfired" he said it was pretty obvious that she wanted to fuck him, but he had still invited her out to drinks (i can't even go, i'm only 20 and i live in the us). we talked for a while and i cried a lot and he kept telling me he would never cheat on me. he said it was just nice having someone new tell him that he looked good. he's going back in to work today where he's gonna see her again. he told me to come along if i wanted, but i don't know. i thought i felt better after we talked, but i'm still pretty upset, and i'm at a loss. i love him and i know he loves me- but this is breaking my heart. it doesn't really help that i have no close friends or family to talk to about this. i spent 14 hours yesterday sleeping because i've already been a bit depressed recently, so this was a lovely cherry on top of a shit past few months.
user you need to have a long talk with him. He shouldn't be entertaining horny girls as a husband, let alone going out with them for drinks. If this is really about him wanting more positive reinforcement from others, he could have easily shared that with you and you could've helped. Any spouse would be right to suspect infidelity in this case.
I hope this is real cause hes too damn cute. Whats his job?he sounds like an escort or something sexy lol Get a psychologist, depression + love is a bit volatile.( like adding extra dynamite to a bomb) Its not crazy to be jealous¡ but instead of focusing on how youre gonna lose him try winning him back( even tho he already reassured you) . One of the best ways for me to battle ilogics is with other ilogics. You should try it. Its kinda fun. Try complimenting him more ofte, remember what he likes about you. Also if he says theres nothing to worry about because thats his job, then you should wait. In my opinion it might not be that of a good idea if you meet her since you might try to copy her completely and we dont want that But its good if she meets you because " he has a gf" changes into " he has you" Also, if you can make more friends, better
What's his job? And how old is he?
switched to phone cause pic related I did have a long talk. We've got friends that are looking for girls right now, so he said that's why he got her number. I don't know that I believe that. Then he kind of switched the story to being that he wanted to hang out with her (despite him previously saying girls and guys can't be friends if there's one in a relationship). He said that he likes getting compliments from me, but that it was nice hearing it from someone 'new'. He gets complimented all the time. I don't know what i'm supposed to make of this. if he was an escort i wouldn't have a problem like this. i would have to be comfortable with him picking up ladies, that's not it. and for sure, i've got depression. plus some hard-hitting anxieties, but the medicines i've had in the past changed me, and i didn't like it. i should make more friends, you're right. i'm just very shy, and it's hard to know who's going to actually be your friend, or who's just being kind for the sake of formality. hotel front desk, 30
your reading too much into this: >>remember the part where he said i want you to come with me? he wants to introduce you as his wife. and sometimes stops the messages from other people. his job is to socialize remember? he deletes the messages because he isnt intrested in them. because he comes home to you, his wife.
Why did you marry at 20?
She'll find out eventually. Dont make her ignorant.
he told me he had deleted them to keep me from worrying but that he was "kind of glad I caught him, since he felt guilty" married at 18, because we loved each other
Lmao Jesus. Honestly who gives a fuck? You’re not even fully matured as an adult, why should you be concerned about normal human behavior at 20?
Honestly, who gets married at 20 nowadays? You’re just begging to get used by some dude and become super jaded.
I don't believe he is doing anything behind your back. He sounds like an open and honest guy and he came out to you and told you. He even invited you out to the party with him and you could meet this girl who apparently has the hots for him.
What you have to understand is that even though you're married to him, you two still have individual lives. The one who has no friends in a relationship will always lean on the other person for support.
Don't get too emotional over this. You have a man others want. That sounds awesome.
>Its not crazy to be jealous¡ but instead of focusing on how youre gonna lose him try winning him back What the fuck am I reading? Your husband is going gaga over a woman he met and how he got her number, is deleting text messages from her, and your advice is to attempt to win this sort of person back? It's normal human behavior to make moves to step outside your marriage? Wtf is this shit?
>Married at 20 >Husband already windowshopping Deep down, you know what must be done.
Okay but the fact he deleted the messages... Be careful. Men are sneaky and I don't think the woman would stop hitting him up even if you did meet her, people are just really disrespectful in my experience.
It's normal human behaviour to seek the attention of the opposite sex at 20. You're barely teenagers, it'll take a while before the thrill of being liked ends. Doens't mean he'll actually fuck other girls, but it's only natural he'll like the attention.
Her husband is 30.
Look, if he wanted to cheat on you, he wouldn't have told you about the girl. That's just stupid, so obviously he just wants the kick of seeing the he can wet some panties with conversation and flirting.
He is not intending on cheating on you, but if things get hot and heavy he might end up dicking her down.
Quite frankly, he seems immature and insecure. You should openly tell him that you are his wife and that he should treat you accordingly. If he loves you, he should not want to put you in a situation where you feel bad (e.g. meeting the girl that wants his dick), on the other hand, you should trust him to be faithful.
If you already lost faith in him and he considers this more important than your, maybe you need to reevaluate your marriage. I had a similar situation with my fiance of 8 years, we broke up soon after. Try to work on yourself, you should let no one treat you like this. Good luck user.
Liking the attention from the opposite sex and actually meeting someone who showed interest in casual sex are different things. Sorry but that is strange behavior.
Shut the fuck up you idiotic roastie/basedboy cuck. If this were the other way around you’d be telling her that the husband is just being insecure and it’s okay for her to have male friends and he needs to mind his own business.
As for you, have threesome with them. I promise you he’s already fucking her because I assume from the fact that you’re depressed your sex drive has been in the shitter. Either start sucking his dick more, or invite the other woman over so he can give you a hand doing it. Who knows you might even discover you like pussy and steal the dumb whore from him. Ultimately stop being a selfish bitch, the fact that he feels like this at all shows you aren’t doing your part as his wife to begin with, you dug your own grave here.
Sounds like the ball is rolling and there's little you can do. He tells you about her, so he kinda tries being honest, on the other hand he seems too excited to contain it, and then he deletes messages so even if he tells you everything is alright he deep down knows he's doing something wrong. This is a precarious situation.
You can go ham and cause a fight over her but that'll make you look like the controlfreak girlfriend. He'll probably text and meet in secret.
You can sit there, trust him and do nothing and he'll most likely develop an intimate connection to her in front of your eyes.