I'm going to pity fuck a male friend of mine who's been single for years. Any advice?

I'm going to pity fuck a male friend of mine who's been single for years. Any advice?

P.S He is fat

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Make it seem like you want him at least

You could pity fuck me. I at least care about my health

you are too nice bless you

Sounds patronizing

He knows it's a pity fuck because we had a discussion about it

post face

remember to lube your strapon

Don't agree to bdsm, and also make plans immediately after with other people.

He gonna fall in love with you and want to marry you. Don't do it

Prepare for the inevitable clinginess and having to distance yourself from him as a result.


My boys

>also make plans immediately after with other people
translation: be a cunt by showing poorly-disguised distrust

Yeah don't do it or he will catch feelings and you'll break his heart.

HEs going to obsess over you and orbit




at least get him to pay you money, don't do it for free

Yeah, don’t. You’re definitely not going to enjoy it and this guy is probably gonna fall for you and it’s gonna hurt him.

You'll do him more harm than good.

Assuming you're higher SMV than he is, he WILL fall in love with you the second you show him any affection. If you fuck him and then go back to friendzoning him afterwards, it'll drive him nuts and make him even more miserable than he used to be. What you're basically doing is giving him a sense of hope than he might find a girlfriend, only to find out it was a lie afterwards.

do not let him get on top of you, gross

he probably is already in love with her so if she fucks him he'll believe she is in love with him

she has to get on top of him idiot

as stated, he's gonna put your pussy on a pedestal
you have been warned

Lick his asshole and then ghost him afterward and he’ll commit suicide guaranteed

Good job saving school children. God bless you

>I'm going to pity fuck a male friend of mine who's been single for years. Any advice?
Don't, just buy him a hooker instead.
He will be after you fucking him when someone dies/he loses his job/has a bad day. Before you know it you are the only thing coming between him and suicide. It also sets the bar for you, everyone will, know you fucked the fat virgin/guy who didn't get laid for years, everyone who hears will look down on you (consider if guys found all the women Harvey Weinstein banged look as good after it came out that they all got fucked by him).

tl;dr buy him a hooker instead.

>Making it so that he clings onto you
I've experienced this and I've done the same for a girl. You only make it worse. That person is tricked into thinking that someone genuinely desires them, you're causing last damage because you've convinced yourself you're helping your friend (I'm not surprised you're this stupid, you're on Jow Forums ffs)

did you let her know it was a pity fuck before fucking her? as long as you warn them first they're fine

Yep. Said nothing will come of it. Nothing else at all.

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so you're a 50 yr old homeless fuck?


>Referring to self in a message


Going to someone's home where you both know you'll be naked and alone together for extended periods of time has personal safety risks.

You mitigate these types of risks by telling people where you are going, and how long they can expect you to be there, because it changes the timer on

>Oh shit, nobody's heard for user for a while, maybe we should call the cops?
and the
>Wait, where is user anyways, now that we know there's an emergency?

timers down from probably several workdays to several hours.

Thank you for translating.

don't be a sociopath
accept a normal amount of risk to appear like a healthy

None of this is sociopathic, it's basic safety. You can appear normal by saying
>I have plans after this
and just texting people your updated plans if you want to stick around longer than originally planned

yeah, it works great for you unless people find out you are making contingency plans in case they kidnap you.

ah, I was reading "make plans immediately afterwards to minimize contact" rather than "generally afterwards"

find some self respect you fucking weirdo

this type of shit is exactly why half the faggots on this website think women are disgusting and easy

I'd only want a girl to pity me by stomping on my balls desu
afterwards she caresses my face while kneel, make myself as small as possible and hug her legs
then she laughs at how much of a faggot I am for wanting this and for allowing her to do this to me and kicks me away, spits in my face and tells me I'm a homosexual in denial and that vagina isn't for me

>Going to someone's home where you both know you'll be naked and alone together for extended periods of time has personal safety risks.
How do you even outside?

>adding to your body count
>leading a fat dude on
>inevitably breaking his heart
For what reason? This is a terrible idea

That is very nice of you. You are a good person.

I mean, if you want to help your friend, there is always other way. If the problems is that he is fat, then "help him" on that matter. If it low selfsteem, try to show him what is good about him. If you pitty fuck him, not only he's gonna notice, but then he will try to do it again and again. That's not a solution.
Make him understand that he can be better. Besides, if you will have a bad time, then theres no discussion on it.

First time's more risky than the other times because you don't know how the other person handles or responds to

>you're in an incredibly vulnerable position and alone with them

And if they are making it weird or are giving you misgivings, don't feel one goddamn shred of guilt prioritizing getting the fuck out of there. Later times you probably don't need these precautions.