Do guys ALWAYS have to make the first move when trying to date a girl?

Do guys ALWAYS have to make the first move when trying to date a girl?

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no. If girl never made move on you it means you are genetic trash

if you're gay you get stuck in eachothers first moves
so there's that

No, some girls also make first move and usually because they have to because none wants to date them.

find your courage

>mfw I am
I knew it

How am I supposed to have courage to ask a girl out when people post things like and ?

I don't have the courage to ask a girl out because I assume that, since no girl ever showed interest in me, I must be repulsive...

I'm a girl and worry about this, I'm terrible at initiating, I've tried but never can do it right so I feel like some guy will think I'm not into them. I always wonder if some guy is actually into me if they don't initiate either? It's so confusing

I'm a girl and even if I'm really into a guy I'd never make the first move because I assume it's the dude's responsibility, it's the manly thing to do I guess. If he was waiting on me to make the first move I'd lose interest.

very untrue. i know you ain't repulsive, lots og girls just like the guy to go after them generally. they're taught that's how men are wired is he's the chaser and she's the catch

Easy: stop believing the trash people post here. Develop your own criteria and sense of self instead of seeking for ultimate wisdom on 4channel. It's not hard to figure out when anons are trolling and/or spewing bullshit.

What do you consider a first move though? I always thought that girls were meant to flirt or show hints of interest, and then the guy asks them out after that. But no girls ever show signs of interest in me, literally not ever.

If I'm not repulsive, then why do no girls show interest in me?

2 of the 3 girls I've been with approached me.

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What is discouraging about my post? If you want girlfriend, you have to ask a girl out. Unless you want to date a girl none wants to date.
Also, no point because you are the same faggot that makes the same thread everyday. You yourself said that girls flirt with you so stop being retard or seek professional help.

How? What did you do to make that happen? I just don't get it

I never said girls flirt with me. Some girls have complimented my appearance. I've never been actually flirted with, in a seductive manner.

Answer this please. No girl has ever shown interest in me. I am genetic trash and don't blame females for having standards

>why do no girls show interest in me?
You have the answer right here but refuse to believe it

Actually I'd expect you to flirt first, or at least show some interest, if I'm into you I'd flirt back. But it depends on the girl desu, some girls will flirt first, desu don't think too much and if you like someone just ask her out, if she says no that's it

no, but girls are typically so subtle about it that it seems like you're making the first move

not that poster but maybe you can go up to someone you like and compliment something you enjoy about them, their smile, laugh, sense of humor, eyes, etc. try to be close to them and once you are you could ask them out to dinner or lunch, or a coffee. that'd work on me at least. don't think you're not a catch just because no one's flirted with you. lots of people go through this problem, i think you should just get out there more and try! good luck to you :(

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I've never flirted with a girl, because girls never flirt with me. What's the point in me trying to flirt with girls if they've already indicated, by not flirting with me, that they don't see me in that light?

>if you like someone just ask her out
I can't, the girls I like never show even the slightest indication of liking me back. In fact, no girl at all ever shows any indication of liking me romantically.

But that conflicts with the earlier suggestion of the user who said that "if no girls make a move on you, you must be ugly". Who am I supposed to believe?

>tfw not genetic trash but still virg

wow, im special best day in my life

>maybe you can go up to someone you like and compliment something you enjoy about them, their smile, laugh, sense of humor, eyes, etc.
I can't do that. I never compliment girls, not even girls who are my friends. I assume that if I ever did try to compliment a girl, she would find it really creepy because I've never done it before.

>i think you should just get out there more and try!
I get out a lot. I have a normal social life. I would be a "normie" in the eyes of people on Jow Forums. But still, no girls show romantic interest in me, not one bit.

>But that conflicts with the earlier suggestion of the user who said that "if no girls make a move on you, you must be ugly". Who am I supposed to believe?

Please don't believe that user, lots of anons here troll or view things in a salty light. This doesn't mean you're trash, you're good OP.

This is your problem, nothing is ever going to happen if you don't make it happen yourself.

If you do it subtly at first, I don't think it'll be creepy. Just try to be chill about it, people can change ^^

Also maybe no one shoes romantic interest because they don't think you're interested in them if you don't show it either. I know it's like a catch 22, it doesn't make sense, they should initiate it, you should initiate it, tomato, tomoto. but it's better to try than to not, you could be missing out on some great possibilities. and if you do try and things don't go well, don't take it personally. don't give up, you'll find that qt one day. I'm sure of it.

But how am I supposed to do that if literally no girl in my life has ever shown interest in me? There is no precedent for girls being romantically interested in me. It'd be like firing a shot into the dark, I just don't know what's going to happen. It could go really really badly wrong if I ever tried to make a move on a girl.

>Who am I supposed to believe?
Well, for starters, you should not use Jow Forums for this. But most importantly:

>Also maybe no one shoes romantic interest because they don't think you're interested in them if you don't show it either.
But surely if a girl was truly interested in me, she wouldn't be able to help showing it? It'd just happen? The fact that I never get even a small signal of interest from a girl is surely proof enough that no girl has ever been romantically interested. I've perused literally of those "lists of signs girls give when they like you" and not one of those signs has ever been given to me by a girl, I can say that with 100% certainty.

>It could go really really badly wrong if I ever tried to make a move on a girl.
Yes? Really? Like what? What's going to happen that is oh, so terrible and awful? Do you think nobody else has been there before? Because they have most men have, and they go through it and guess what: nothing terrible happens. The worst outcome you can expect is rejection, boo-fucking-hoo.
Stoo whining, grow a pair and ASK GIRLS OUT.

>What's going to happen that is oh, so terrible and awful?

They could think I'm creepy for making a move on them

They could feel really uncomfortable because of me making a move on them. Which would make feel bad. I don't want to make girls feel uncomfortable

I could get a bad reputation around my social circles for becoming one of those guys who approaches girls unsolicited and is creepy

have you ever given signs to them? sometimes when a guy shows interest in me that i never knew would, i start seeing them in a different light, a romantic one.

No. In fact when I like a girl, I do the opposite, I usually talk to them very rarely and never even smile at them. I'm scared that if I show interest in a girl, she'll suddenly be repulsed by me and start thinking I'm a creep.

Yes. As a man, you are supposed to initiate every time. At best, girls might give you some hints.

it's all about how you show interest, if you innocently compliment them and show interest in them and their life, hobbies then that isn't creepy. especially if you're doing it to one girl you truly like. try to let go of that fear OP. i think it'll work out for you :(

Stop making excuses, user. Ask girls out.
Stop. Making. Excuses.

I literally can't. My brain literally won't get the words out of my mouth to compliment a girl. The only time I can do it is if a girl compliments me first, and even then I REALLY struggle to do it and most of the time still can't say a compliment back in response. I'm too scared that they might see through my complimenting and realize that I'm coming on to them, and then they'll feel creeped out and uncomfortable.

I think the only time you'd be considered a creep is if you showed sexual interest or flirted in a pervy way without her being open to it. But making the first move and showing honest interest isn't creepy to girls

maybe speak to someone professional who can help you move past this fear and motivate you, someone who has some tips or techniques to help you do this too.

If you literally can't talk like a normal human being to another human being, go to therapy.

Seek therapy

I tried therapy and all they told me was "you need to be courageous and do things you're scared of doing". They didn't tell me HOW to actually do that.

Try -> Succeed
Try -> Fail -> Improve

But dude, my problem is that I literally can't make the words come out of my mouth to ask a girl out or even flirt with her. I can't even send messages to girls I match with on tinder, I'm simply too scared.

When I first asked a girl about I was also shaking and could barely say it. As for messaging just hit enter without thinking. Have a shot of alcohol if needed.
Try -> Succeed
Try -> Fail -> Improve

Practice. Start by talking to girls online. Then with friends of friends. Fuck up, realize it wasn't that bad and do better next time.
You can't expect people to give you a complete walkthrough on human inteaction. You need to experience rejection and become stronger through it. One thing is clear: as long as you keep doing nothing, you'll get nothing. You can keep coming hear to whine as much as you want, this fact won't change.

learn to fail. not only with asking women out but everything in general in life.

>When I first asked a girl about I was also shaking and could barely say it
Yes well, you can't have been as scared as I am, because you actually managed to do it. If you were as scared as I am you wouldn't have actually been able to ask the girl out.

>Have a shot of alcohol
Even when I'm drunk as fuck i still can't walk up to a girl and make a move on her. It's like this constant overpowering fear just follows me everywhere. I even did cocaine a few times at parties, and thought "hey maybe this will give me a rush of confidence to approach some girls", but nope, I still couldn't do it.

>Start by talking to girls online
Where? How? I tried Tinder but every girl I ever messaged either never responded, or stopped responding after one or two messages. On Bumble, they won't even message me in the first place.

Also, you do realize that I don't have any problem just talking to girls, right? I can walk up to a girl and just talk to her, and discuss mutual interests, things that are happening, make jokes, small talk etc. I just can't flirt, can't give compliments and DEFINITELY can't ask a girl on a date.

I literally did nothing except dress well and look "handsome" I've had more girls than them approach me, I just didn't act on it.

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Great, so i'm fucked then... I must be uglier than I thought if literally no girl has ever shown interest in me in my whole life...

Generally the guy makes the first move. A woman will drop you subtile hints to let you know shes interested in you. You have to watch for them carefully because these hints vary from woman to woman. For example if a woman is normally kind of bitchy with her friends, family, co-workers, ect, and she’s extra nice around you, there’s a good bet that you into you. If your worried about asking a woman out it’s OK, everyone is. Having this advantage of knowing if shes interested or not would boost you confidence and give you the upper hand.

user, all the info you need has been given to you in this thread, yet you keep asking for more and saying that you just can't. At this point the conversation doesn't make sense any more. If you're so fucking scared of such a silly thing, a therapist should be able to see what's wrong with your mind. We can't make this any clearer nor can we give more help. Stop repeating how scared you are and do something.

I do, case why not

what if failure comes naturally

It's still not that simple. I think I've had 3 girls show clear interest in me (technically 5), but due to my inexperience, I'm still a virgin and in the same position as you.

>"Hi, do you want to go out together sometime"
That's literally all it takes

Nope. I know a guy who's girlfriend confessed to him, and they've been happily devoted to each other for five years now.

But if there's a girl you like, it wouldn't hurt to let her know how you feel.

Eh, I'm a chick, I've asked a lot of guys out online or initiated conversations, you get ghosted and ignored often if you're not interested in hookups or sending nudes. Dating is hard, man.

Welcome to our world

There is no "our world." There's THE world, the real world, where the person doing the asking often is going to be turned down, and if you're ever interested and don't ask, nothing will likely happen because it's up to you to get what you want when you want it. Unless you're playing the hookup game or you get lucky, you can't wait for the person you're into to be a fictional Prince/Princess Charming.

Chicks have an easier dating game, I'm not saying it comes with no issues but that's just a fact

>For example if a woman is normally kind of bitchy with her friends, family, co-workers, ect, and she’s extra nice around you, there’s a good bet that you into you.
I fell for that shit, she was also flirting with me every day, then after a few months she told me I made it all up in my head.

What anons have to understand is that the so called "hints" women give are a glitch. An error.

When women like a guy, they ROOT for him to do something, that would be the adequate word. There are oddities here and there, but the usual behavior from their comfortable social place is that. The ticks arising from the infatuated girl is called "hint", but it's unintentional, mostly signs of nervousness, etc.

And women's interest is reactive, even science says so (I won't bother searching it all again) - so don't expect a chance to come only when they're interested. Yes, they can fall just the same as you: looking at your appearance alone and imagining a character behaving in a whole stimulating way, thus seducing her before you even have to do anything. But you can do this fantasy's work, if you know what to do. The interest/disinterest itself isn't such a binary value, they may simply be "open to see what happens".

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Eh, depends what you're looking for. Hookups and whatnot? Absolutely, no effort needed on your part as a chick. A long-term, fulfilling relationship where you go slow? All of those men disappear the moment they realize you're not interested in having sex by the third date, expect to be ghosted constantly.

girl here. If I’d meet a guy I think looks nice (let’s say at a bar) id go talk to him and see where it goes. I actually did the first move on my boyfriend and asked him out on a date. We’ve been together for quite some time now and one time i jokingly said if he wouldn’t propose soon, I’d do it and i don’t exactly know why but he was really offended by this because he thinks only men should propose (I wouldn’t have a problem proposing desu)
My boyfriends also offended when I want to pay for food if we eat in a restaurant because he thinks men should pay for dates

So to answer your question: It’s really up to the person you’re with, ig my boyfriend feels more comfortable if he gets to do the (as he calls it) „man-part“ and I just sit there and watch. I still bully him because I asked him out first
If you feel uncomfortable asking out a girl you could wait until you feel comfortable enough to ask her or just wait until she asks you
Good luck

Because you're going for Chads only and expect them to commit while at the same time, you ghost and flake on nice intelligent men like me who would be interested in a long-term relationship.
Can't blame you though since women are just biologically wired to seek out only the most dominant males they can find. I honestly believe that you creatures haven't developed since the stone age, given how primitive the female mind is and how much it relies on emotions/feelings only.

I thought you had to be 18 or more to post here
You are just going for the wrong people then. Guys who want a serious relationship tend to avoid frivolous girls. Be easy going and mature, you'll find the right kind of guys.

You are dumb. All my exes liked that I could cry.

If you actually do this, fuck you.

You should be very wary of a girl who makes the first move, especially if you're kind of a mild tempered or quiet guy and or kind of soft.

what does it mean when you make a 'move' and she turns you down
but she still continues to flirt with you
wtf man

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it mean's she's trying to turn you into an orbiter she can manipulate. I've been there- I was literally the first person she would call if she needed help with someone, but the last person she wanted to actually hang out with.

meant if she needed help with something*, ie moving furniture

not really. most girls flirt with you first, or they're supposed to if you're acting like a man should. you should flirt back, and then ask her out when the time is right.

Yes. It shows you’re semi-courageous, personable, and have balls. Girls flirting with you or hitting on you is fine but if you like her then you make the move. She’ll find you much more attractive simply because you put it on the line and weren’t apologetic about what you wanted.