What stops incels from finding a girlfriend?

There's a lot of guys out there that blame height, baldness, social status, dick size etc. for the reason they're lonely and sexless.
I have a friend (srs) who's been single for a long time. I know it depresses him but he never does anything to change it, apart from tinder. I'll admit he's not Chris Hemsworth but he has a lot of good qualities. I wouldn't call him a typical "incel" because he's not bitter or misogynistic. Just lonely.
Is inceldom a self-fulfilling prophecy or is it really a dog-eat-dog world where women only want the finest male specimens?

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The risk of rejection.

>Is inceldom a self-fulfilling prophecy
Yes. Being an incel means you refuse to do anything that could result in you getting a girlfriend. Only coming up with excuses for not trying. "It wouldn't work anyway so I'm not going to try" is a fundamental incel mindset.

Help me understand this. If someone is single and depressed they obviously don't have much self-esteem to start with, so what do they have to lose by asking someone out? Surely it's a no-lose situation? If she says no, you're no worse off than you were beforehand. And if she yes, bonus! And yet the fear of rejection still paralyzes us.

Probably a mixture of not having the looks to be succesful on dating apps and not having the social life/skills to meet and ask out women irl. If you're average-looking and dating apps are your only way of meeting women, you're gonna have a bad time.
I think your friend needs to get out more and meet more women irl, does he have any social hobbies that aren't sausage fests?

nice bait m8
you only need determination and time, incels prove constantly they have both.

This is my reasoning: Let's say you have a cute co-worker that you would love to date. You might get really close to her as a friend, and admitting your feelings for her risks to taint that friendly relationship and leave a lot of awkwardness between the two of you.

So it isn't a straight no-lose situation because admitting love to someone who doesn't love you back might estrange them and leave you in a kindoff worse place.

This. State mandatory testosterone should be given for males low on T

For me it's not the fear of rejection, not in the slightest. I've asked many girls out, I even been in 2 relationships, and to be honest there's really nothing to be afraid of.

For me it's always the feeling of meaninglessness. When I meet a girl, whether through friends or somewhere, I usually talk a bit with her, see how she responds to me, my presence, my jokes or my serious attitude. But most of the times, I'd say a solid 80% of the time there's just no interest from her. It feels like I'm carrying all the weight and there's absolutely no involvement of her part, like I'm asking and answering questions at the same time. And when I feel this meaninglessness, I simply drop the conversation and move on.

This has made me an "incel" more or less. Do non incel guys just keep in nagging on the girl when they feel this meaninglessness? Do you keep talling and talking and talking incessantly hoping after the 100th question asked she'd just break down and respond favorably to you?

I am not incel but it goes like this.
>have low self-steem, feeling like you have no chance getting a girlfriend reinforced by your lack of success/inexperience
>grow a pair to actually try to get a gf, which everytime results in a) rejection or b) acceptance, getting your hopes up only to get crushed she actually sends you message she won't go anywhere with you as the date is coming closer

Incels don't do part two though

True. I could see it in that scenario but what about random girls? You see a cute girl at the coffee shop reading your favorite book. She even throws a smile at you. But you don't make a move out of fear of rejection. Sure it might be a little embarrassing if she says no in the middle of the coffee shop but so what?

Yes, we do though.
I'm another proud incel myself and all the last serious attempts I've made, have resulted in being rejected by the female specimens.

>Is inceldom a self-fulfilling prophecy or is it really a dog-eat-dog world where women only want the finest male specimens?


What sort of attempts? When was the last one?

Women are sub-human scum, that's why. I don’t know why I’m being avoided especially since I’m a brilliant, good-looking, kind-hearted emotional person. They’re just trash man, they can’t be civilized.
If I were you I’d say: “Women, you suck, don’t come near me. I am a man, I keep society alive by my brawn and by my superior man-tellect. Without me, you would be raped. Now come here and make me sandwich.”

And then I would simply fuck and leave. Just like that, in the public. You know? I wouldn’t even go to jail because you can’t commit crimes against women since they’re not human.
Fuck I’m such a catch, I don’t know why women hate me. They just seethe because I’m better and harder working then them. If I were a woman, I’d date myself and blow a load in my female pussi with a stroke.

It can't be both. I've seen dozens of semi-attractive and hot chicks with average or even fugly guys.

Im ugly man. My face looks like i chug soilent 24/7. Fat as shit and unnatractive. Unblanaced. I just can't find girlfriend this way. No one wants me.

Lack of money. GFs are expensive.

>that image
Oh yeah I bet he has such a fulfilling relationship and the woman that pretends to love him doesn't fuck anyone behind his back.
>What stops incels from finding a girlfriend?
Having an ugly face + autism usually does the trick. Having a small dick, height, being bald or poor don't help either and these things usually come in a package. But you keep believing in your just world fallacy, remember all the good things you have in life are there because you DESERVE them haha you're an amazing human being unlike incels.

Asking them out obviously, you retard.
Last week I asked out a bitch and she gave me some bullshit excuse about not knowing me enough and that "we'll see about meeting up" in autumn. I said "okay cool" and haven't messaged her since then because I'm not going to wait for some 4/10 bitch that long, and she hasn't initiated conversations either.

I have no social skills

it used to be fear from rejection ,but at this point it isnt that..its just her getting to know me any my fucked up background and the things I don't want to reveal to anyone, also my insecurities about my body and facing people who doesnt have those imperfections...and reacting in the bad way in a social situation while being with the so said gf and just making her fall out of me ...
or just straight up trying to talk to her only for her too look at you like you're a mega weirdo and straight up go away from you ...
idk just not being accepted cuz you know you wont ever be cuz ur not strong and confident

mother was emotionally abusive to my dad and that warped my image of relationships.

Skills can be learned. So why aren't you learning?

>social skills can be learned

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>Oh yeah I bet he has such a fulfilling relationship and the woman that pretends to love him doesn't fuck anyone behind his back.
I bet he experiences more intimacy than any incel

watch their videos, im pretty sure theyre happy together desu

>being with a bitch that ''''''loves him''''''' for virtue points
Ha hahahahahahahahahahahahahha I'd rather be an incel than a deformed freak that gets affection out of pity

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>watch this videos she makes for virtue signalling
>it's totally real guys
>I can't into human beings
You have to be at least 18 to post here.

It's this toxic mentality that keeps incels incels. Your entire post was nothing but parroting incel mantras. Frothing with anger and envy towards people who are happy. An entitled piece of shit, that's what you are.

I'm sure she was charmed by your kindness and positivity.

>some people claim to be happy together
>it must be lies!
Shouldn't you be doing your morning prayers towards St. Elliot's grave?

>toxic mentality
Go back to plebbit you useless shit stain
Nice buzzword next time try to actually understand the meaning of the words you're using.

Just the fact that she helps him shit on the toilet every morning and acts as his mommy every day means he got a good deal

>acts as his mommy
That's not how a relationship is supposed to work. Looks like she has some issues as well.

>some people claim to be happy together
I like how even you had to use the word ''claim'' since you have a hard time believing it as well. Seems like she's fucked in the head and has some savior complex and obviously enjoys the positive attention she gets, that's real happiness right there lmao.

It is if you’re a cripple, stupid

I think white women are in the wrong. Im not from America but what i have heard from other boards then yea.... they are egoistic cunts.

From my experience, inceldom is a self-fulfilling prophecy to some degree.

In order to get girls, having experience helps a ton. You need to learn how to take action when the opportunity passes you by to either get laid or get a girlfriend. Problem is, if you're ugly you will rarely get opportunities to gain experience because very few girls will even be open to your sexual advances.

As a result, you end up with a guy who is both inexperienced and sucks at game, AND he's ugly. A combination that can make it borderline impossible to escape inceldom.

Of course they can, but that doesn't fit into your little helpless victim mentality.

You're the one who came from reddit when r/incels got banned. Go away, your kind is not welcome here.

>social skills can be learned outside of your formative years
Imagine being such a massive retard like user over here and proudly displaying it for the whole world to see.

No it's not, you shouldn't be dating a cripple retard. There's no way she's mentally healthy.

Imagine a defeatist little victim like you being the strongest sperm.

What was the point of even asking about my attempts then? Fuck off.

>newfag exposes himself
These opinions were shared on Jow Forums long before you even found out about this site which is 2016 at best. Now go back to the shithole where you came from where you can use the new buzzwords you learned without everyone telling you to fuck off.

>mentally healthy

>I can't into biology: the second post
Go be retarded somewhere else please, your stupidity combined with your forced positivity are actually bad for you.

no youre doing the right thing. If she isnt keen she isnt keen. If anything youre chasing too much. You set a date, have fun and make a move, then dont call her till a few days to a week after when you set up the next one. Equal parts closeness and distance

>As a result, you end up with a guy who is both inexperienced and sucks at game, AND he's ugly. A combination that can make it borderline impossible to escape inceldom.
NOOOOOOOO don't just come here and tell the truth like that, this doesn't fit with my just world fallacy garbage view on life.
How else am I gonna feel better than incels now ? Are you saying that I'm not a completely awesome human being and in antithesis with them ?

>How else am I gonna feel better than incels now ?
By having sex

But I need to masturbate my ego as well.
What if I actually don't DESERVE sex ? What if luck and randomness actually play a massive role in my life and I didn't actually do everything by myself ?
I'm weak, literally SHAKING right now. Life is no longer we (the good guys) vs incels (the bad guys) now we're reaching a morally gray area WTF ?

If inceldom is so inescapable then stop making “how do i get a gf” threads and stay in your containment board

Congratulations. You're a lost cause.

Look how retarded the normgroid acts when his simplistic life philosophy gets shattered on an anonymous mongolian forum.

>no arguments
Go back to school, kid. We all figured you are retarded after your first post, there was no reason to keep going.

Why argue with a self-defeatist moron who just wants to bawww that he's got no social skills but will do fuck all to fix it?

Because social skills can only be developed during formative years and you would know that if you weren't such a brain dead waste of oxygen and actually opened up a book.
Now post more high school tier insults and platitudes to prove my point.

You’re argument is that you’re destined to die alone and that there’s no escape from your personal hell. You win, I guess.

It's not easy but it's certainly possible for adults to improve their social skills. I've done it. I was shy and awkward as fuck well into my 20s, but now I'm easily able to hold a conversation and interact with people.

Being poor means you refuse to do anything that could result in you getting more money. Only coming up with excuses for not trying. "It wouldn't work anyway so I'm not going to try" is a fundamental poor person mindset.

You learned about Jow Forums when you got kicked off reddit, liar. Speaking of which why are you posting here? You are not looking for advice nor giving it. You only want to whine.

>You’re argument
IncelTears, everyone

You are so obviously underaged.

How many shekels did you get paid to post this lie?

Nice try from the moron that uses ''toxic behavior'' on Jow Forums expecting not to be exposed for the massive tumblr/reddit faggot that he is. Bet you felt really smart typing that.
Also, telling people to do the impossible and blaming them for things outside of their control isn't advice, you pretentious twat.
Grow up before telling other people what to do with their lives.

Says the retard that can't into human beings. Jesus, what is this garbage normalshit board ? Is a double digit IQ required to get laid ? Is that your secret ?

Because I already know I'm an ugly loser. But I don't have concrete confirmation besides my own thoughts. The moment I'm rejected (which I know I would be) it confirms every negative thought I ever had about myself. Why do that for the 0.001% chance she's crazy enough to say yes?

Ok how do I learn?

First of all, if you have emotional/social hang ups you should see a therapist and get to the root of them.

Being an incel comes from a lack of self confidence which could stem from any number of problems which could be the incels fault or completely out of his control. Regardless there is always a woman out their for every man, because femcels exist as well. No matter how worthless a person thinks he/she is there is an exact opposite sex counter part out there for them.

Tell your buddy that there are plenty of fish in the sea if he is really disturbed by his condition and is seeking your advice and to not treat relationships so seriously to calm his nerves

They don’t understand this simple logic, they are too proud to accept rejection. Usually incels are very entitled people think the world owes them a relationship

There is not someone for everyone. We've just reached a point in population where the amount of people discarded by natural selection has become too large to ignore

>Mixed Race
>Small penis
There is no way to get gf like this

Subjective. What can you do improve it?
Irrelevant. Also, accutane
>>Mixed Race
>>Small penis
Work on these

I Will always be inferior to other men, no girl would be loyal even If I were rich

Self-pity is not an attractive trait. Work on that

Natural selection is legit fueled by racism. Maybe that fact will open your eyes to something helpful for bringing healthy social relationships with women into your life.

I see the whole picture, it's different

but it's not the "whole picture". None of the issues you posted will stop you finding a gf. It's your shitty, self-pitying attitude that's holding you back. Stop looking for excuses like all incels do. Slowly but surely work on improving yourself physically and mentally to build your self-esteem.

It isn't a competetion. Some men might be more beautiful, others might be better cooks but not one got the same mixture of traits. But same goes for women.

And there is this thing called bonding with healthy people. Everyone in a relationship will get options but you don't give in to them because you already have a partner you love.

This. For each ugly man there is an ugly woman and for each woman. The ratio is roughly ~50%.

The problem isn't finding a gf, is that even If I get one she would left me and find other guy better than me easily.
I am a shitty genetic human trash

They're afraid of change and too childish to form adult relationships.

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That's there bonding comes into play. Some people have difficulties with it and don't do it but most do it. Even there is someone remotely looking better you don't drop your stuff in seconds and move on. The world just doesn't work like that.

However if this is your self concept you would become jealous, controling and nagging. That will drive everyone away.

If you have no self-respect then yeah, it's an invitation for people to walk all over you. Bad people gravitate to people with low self-esteem. Tell yourself you deserve better.

Too many mental issues to deal with.
I would probably turn into a cuckold, maybe being a incel it's not that bad

If you have mental issues, seek professional help. A girlfriend is probably the last thing you need right now.

They can be resolved. Not tomorrow and not in a week. It's an ongoing process and sometimes there are fall-backs. But in some months you will make progress and it will feel good. Just remember it's step by step.

Most incels don't have any female friends though

The "something bad might happen so I better not try" excuse again. How are you even able to leave the house? You could get run over by a bus!

They hate women. If you were black would you befriend a KKK-member?

Fear is an irrational emotion. Something doesnt have to actually be detrimental to be scary/stressful. Also, it's embarrassing to get rejected. Very rarely are women alone, so when a guy approaches, he's not just making an ass of himself in front of a pretty girl, he's doing in in front of a bunch of people. Pile that on top of a lack of social skills and anxiety and youve got a recipe for being an orbiter. Yesterday I was waiting in line and saw a pretty girl I think might've been checking me out earlier, but she and her 2 friends were inseparable and I didnt know what to say. She walked away before I could think of something and get the courage to approach.

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no one can make you embarrassed without your permission

stock market are safer than human relations

Well what I wrote is my specific situation atm. I am not a classic woman-hating NEET incel, but I am a kv and there is an intern girl at work who I've gotten quite friendly with.

While I admit that not admiting my feelings for her is a dumb move, the flip side is that if I force it too early, I might alienate her and lose my chance as well...

Fear isn't irrational per se. If you are unable to handle a situation it's rational to be afraid of it. But it might be misplaced if you are in fact able to handle the situation or you grossly overestimating the worst outcome.

If you are afraid of rejection, take it slow. Go with repeated eye contact, if she responds, go with smiling, if she smiles back multiple times, you can walk up to her. Chances are she shows sympathy and is open for conversation.

If she doesn't look back or smile back, it's a rejection. But it doesn't hurt as much as being rejected in public.

The key is to limit the chance of this happening by being reasonable in your approach. These more subtle rejections happen all the time and nobody cares. In fact you may have rejected girls without even knowing.

I knew one that saw combat in Afghanistan,
I always found that weird.

>or is it really a dog-eat-dog world where women only want the finest male specimens?
It's this. I've accepted that I'm genetically inferior and that I don't deserve to pass on my genes. It's a hard pill to swallow, God knows it still gets to me sometimes when I see a family, but that's life. It's harsh and it's brutal, but it's the best way.