Boyfriend does nothing for me

Anyone can forget something the first time, only if the person forgets things repeatedly should it matter THAT much.

maybe hes the type to not really need this type of attention. maybe he expresses his love in different ways. look up love languages and shit

showering him with items doesn't mean he HAS to do the same in return. thats neckbeard logic

tell him you value these gestures and would love to see him make the effort for you

I never got any gifts for all my birthdays since I was 8 (19-year-old man now), only thing my ex gf did was wish me happy birthday. Only a few of my family members remembered that it even was my birthday. What I'm saying is that you bitches need to be more grateful for what you have. Seriously, how fucking entitled are you to everything? There are way bigger issues in this world than your fucking worthless birthdays. Kill yourselves.

Some people don't care about birthdays at all. have you talked to him about this before coming here? Because maybe if you did he'd tell you what's going on. You also complain that he doesn't seem to think about you at all, but your only example are birthdays, how is he the rest of the time? Does he care and put effort on normal days?

Yeah because you're a shit person, so people never wanted to get you gifts. Retarded fuck.

I havent celebrated my own birthday since i was a kid. I dont see what the issue is. I dont like celebrating things in general like holidays.i can barely remember my moms birthday. I dont do anything for them.

Thank God somebody called this bitch out. It's like women can't even value the time together beacuse they can't comprehend a guys time is important.
But then again it could be that the guy doesn't know that either leading to her being this entitled.

>19 year old man
lol
Hate to break it to you but your parents don't love you
t. real human being

I can't imagine the mental gymnastics you had to perform in order to convince yourself that OP is the bad guy in this situation.

I'll tell you. Birthdays arnt important. It's the time you spend together.

>It's the time you spend together.
Did you even read the OP? He doesn't do anything for her birthday. Not a card. Not a dinner. Nothing. He doesn't even remember it unless she reminds him. The entire point of the post is that he doesn't make any effort to acknowledge OP in the slightest. He doesn't spend the time with her you keep insisting is so important.

I can also tell you haven't been in a lot of relationships because it doesn't matter whether or not you think birthdays are important. If birthdays are important to your partner then its something you should be considerate of. My girlfriend is really into going to the movies. Me? I hate the theater. I don't see the difference between sitting in a theater and watching it at home. You know why I still go? Because I give a shit about my girlfriend and sitting in a theater for 2 hours every couple of weeks is a small price to pay for making her happy. It also isn't just the movie - its the fact that I'm there with her. OP's boyfriend doesn't give her that.

If you consider saying "happy birthday" and taking your girlfriend out to a dinner literally once every 12 months is too much of a burden you should really take stock of your life, user.

This.
This shows you if he is just using her.

>If birthdays are important to your partner then its something you should be considerate of.
Why? Why can't the other person be considerate instead? I never got this reasoning, being condiderate works both ways, so why is it assumed that one has to put the effort to care instead of the other putting the effort to let it go? You can absolutely celebrate a birthday without your boyfriend and it hurts nobody, so what's the big deal? I fucking hate celebrations, why can't other people empathize with this and keep me out of them?

>I can also tell you haven't been in a lot of relationships because it doesn't matter whether or not you think birthdays are important. If birthdays are important to your partner then its something you should be considerate of.

Okay now let's look at it from the other point of view with the same logic.

>It doesn't matter if you think birthdays are important. If your SO thinks they aren't then that is something to be considerate of.

It doesn't sound like Op is doing this and doesn't mention saying something to her bf about it so she isn't being considerate of his considerations AND may not have even communicated that she has a problem with his behaviour; it seems like both people are expecting the other to know what they are thinking without any consideration for how the other one thinks.

THANK YOU. That reasoning is so clearly double think that it makes me want to die just so I don't have to continue being a member of the human species.

>Why? Why can't the other person be considerate instead?
Because this isn't how relationships work. You don't get to decide what is and isn't important to your partner especially when the bar, in this case, is set so low. Literally all OP's boyfriend has to do is remember a date, say happy birthday and take her out to a dinner. She's not asking for a grand gesture - she literally just wants to be acknowledged on one day every 12 months and for him to pretend like he gives a shit about the fact that its important to her. The fact that you somehow think this is an unreasonable expectation says to me that you don't really have any experience with women or relationships.

>I fucking hate celebrations, why can't other people empathize with this and keep me out of them?
This is unironically an autistic mindset - that if something isn't important or relevant to you then everyone else should feel the same way. You either can't or won't look past the rather innocuous and meaningless trappings of the birthday itself and see the implications. You don't celebrate birthdays with people because you love birthday celebrations - you celebrate birthdays with people because you love them and doing things that show you give a shit about them are important.

Not that guy but reverse the reasoning. Why isn't she trying to understand him too? The failing is on both sides here and the sooner she admits that the better it will be for both of them.

I agree that she needs to speak with her boyfriend about this, absolutely. I don't agree, however, that OP's boyfriend not caring about birthdays and thinking they're silly is not a valid justification for refusing to make any gesture whatsoever, as the other user is trying to argue. This is not some crazy, bizarre request in which OP's boyfriend is expected to bend over backwards for some unreasonable consideration. All she wants is for him to do something, anything, on her birthday. A dinner. A card. This "OP should be considerate of her boyfriend's desire to be inconsiderate" bullshit is beyond ridiculous.

>You don't get to decide what is and isn't important to your partner
And my partner doens't get to decide what is important to me. Look at that, we're at an impasse here and under the same reasoning exactly, but for some reason I'm the one in the wrong even though we're having the exact same train of thought.
The fact is, it's been socially detemrined that birthdays MUST be celebrated, and people cna't deal with others who ant to be out of it, so their desire is completely disregarded, we have to deal with that shit wether we like it or not, but the rest can't do the fucking effort or simply not asking us to be there and celebrate by themselves. That, too, is a really low bar.
>This is unironically an autistic mindset - that if something isn't important or relevant to you then everyone else should feel the same way.
I never said that, though, this is literal strawmanning.
All I said is: "you want to celebrate your birthday? Siure, go ahead, have a blast. Call me when it ends." Again, what's so wrong about this?
>You don't celebrate birthdays with people because you love birthday celebrations - you celebrate birthdays with people because you love them and doing things that show you give a shit about them are important.
Then just as well might celebrate any other thing or any other day instead. Again, why do I have to show that I care the way the other person likes and not the way I like? Why can't I show my giving a shit in any of the other multiple ways that exist and won't make me screech my teeth all the way through?

Personally I think the only problem here is that she has a problem with it (unless he expects his birthday to be celebrated but not hers.) Ultimately, if it's something that is a deal breaker for her then they need to break up so they can both find someone better suited. THAT is the problem, compatibility, not that op's bf is automatically a bad person.

lmao you're a huge autist

>no arguments
I accept your concession.

Not that guy but I mostly agree with you. Thing is, the person you're with doesn't have to stick around so if they aren't happy with how you show affection they can just leave. Which would be a good thing as it shows they aren't someone you should be with.

you sound like a faggot from the way you type desu

oh i wasn't even the user arguing with you lol
how many relationships have you had tho?

Maybe he just doesn't think birthdays are something special. If he is treating you well and loves you the rest days of the year i don't see a point. But if it really bothers you, explain to him that you would like to do something nice for your birthday or idk...try not to be "aa u didn't get me anything" since presents don't mean love.

Well, I'm married right now.

lmao should've guessed it

????

Is he more attractive than you? You're probably dating out of your league and expecting too much. Be happy with what you have, you ungrateful cunt.

>Why isn't she trying to understand him too?
I'm not saying she shouldn't talk to him about it. Ultimately, if she's suffering through this experience without talking to him about it there is an onus on her to bring it up. He can't make improvements, obviously, if he doesn't know how strongly she feels about it.

Bro if you do that shit for him regardless of how he feels about celebrating birthdays he should be putting in the same amount of effort, it aint like you got him a gift and he was like "woah i dont usually do things like this, id rather just not mention bdays" hes either just a lazy autist or not into you

>And my partner doens't get to decide what is important to me
Your logic is cyclical and nonsensical. Mutual respect can't exist in relationships if everyone is expected to respect their partners desire to be inconsiderate. I get this funny feeling you don't have much experience with relationships because the concept of compromise or at all doing something you don't find personal joy in for the sake of someone else is so flabbergasting to you. In a sense you are right - you are not obligated to do anything you don't like for your girlfriend, however, you probably won't have a girlfriend very long with that attitude.

>Again, why do I have to show that I care the way the other person likes and not the way I like?
You don't have to, just don't expect for any of your relationships to last. Also, the point is that he doesn't show that he cares at all. He doesn't even remember the day, user.

>Why can't I show my giving a shit in any of the other multiple ways that exist
Again, did you read the OP? He doesn't do anything. He does nothing. OP didn't complain because he doesn't show that he gives a shit in a specific way. She complained because he doesn't show that he gives a shit at all. The premise you're arguing on is a false one. She isn't asking him to throw a big party or make a grand gesture. She's asking him to remember the day she was born and make any effort at all to acknowledge it.

this thread is full of bad advice lol

The contents of this thread are a shining example of why small children with no life experience shouldn't be giving advice.

is he always broke? is he a
bad cook? does he have poor taste?
Does he have poor memory? I haven't done anything special for my girl without her help in a long time. When I try to do nice jestures like cooking it's not up to her standards, and unlike the cartoons the effort is not appreciated. I have a bunch of reminders that I can't find so It's always a surprise. My gf also buys everything she even talks about wanting I have no idea what to get her let alone have the money for it. we've done things, but the most I could do was take off from work ti spend time with her.

advice should be renamed to bad advice or just fuck me up more than I am

>Mutual respect can't exist in relationships if everyone is expected to respect their partners desire to be inconsiderate. I get this funny feeling you don't have much experience with relationships because the concept of compromise or at all doing something you don't find personal joy in for the sake of someone else is so flabbergasting to you.
That's exactly my point. Respect goes both ways. You are advocating that only one way (He has to do the things she wants) is the correct. I'm saying that ignores his desires.
Also, as I alreayd said before, I'm married, your assumptions on my experience mean nothing.

Again, did you read the OP? He doesn't do anything. He does nothing. OP didn't complain because he doesn't show that he gives a shit in a specific way. She complained because he doesn't show that he gives a shit at all.
He doe snothing ON HER BIRTHDAY. Not nothing at all. For all we know, he might be the sweetest guy every day and simply doens't care about birthdays specifically. You are talking all the time as if not caring about this particular date and celebration is already a show of huge selfishness, when the fact is, this might be th eone and only day he doesn't put the effort. And he's in his right to do so as long as he complies in the plenty of other oporutnities a relatinship brings forth that don't require a specific celebration on a specific date, which is my whole argument.

I fucked up the second greentext

>You are advocating that only one way (He has to do the things she wants) is the correct.
Another strawman. The entire premise of the OP isn't that he doesn't do things her way. The premise is he doesn't do anything at all. He doesn't do it his way. He doesn't do it her way. He does nothing.

>For all we know, he might be the sweetest guy every day and simply doens't care about birthdays specifically.
>You are talking all the time as if not caring about this particular date and celebration is already a show of huge selfishness, when the fact is, this might be th eone and only day he doesn't put the effort
Your narrative is strange. You're inserting a lot of assumed information that makes him out to be this wonderful boyfriend based on nothing but your desire to support your conclusion.

The difference is I'm not making any conclusion about his character. I'm not saying this is purposeful on his part. I'm saying that he's neglecting this aspect of his relationship because being acknowledged on her birthday is important to her.

>And he's in his right to do so as long as he complies in the plenty of other oporutnities a relatinship brings forth that don't require a specific celebration on a specific date, which is my whole argument.
For the 4th time, she isn't asking for a celebration. She's asking for him to make any effort whatsoever. There is no point in being in a relationship with your attitude, user. There's no point in having a girlfriend if you genuinely don't care about the things that are important to her and expect her to just be okay with whatever things you decide aren't important enough to acknowledge.

>He doesn't do it his way. He doesn't do it her way. He does nothing.
That is his way. Doing things at all is her way. The moment he puts any effort into this, it's doing what she wants exclusively, since obviously he doesn't have any interest at all in the idea.
> You're inserting a lot of assumed information that makes him out to be this wonderful boyfriend based on nothing but your desire to support your conclusion.
Stop changing my words. I didn't say he is, I said we don't know, which is a key part of this whole conversaiton. Your entire point is that a couple has to do things for the other person, I never disagreed with that, the only hting I'm saying is that it doens't have to be specifically this. Go back to the first point I replied to you, it was when you said that if she finds it importnat, then he HAS to go through it. That's just stupid, nobody is expected to do ALL the things that another perosn finds importnat, you have to compromise, and maybe he wants to compromise here specifically, that's his prerogative and there's nothing wrong with that as long as he compensate sin other areas of the relatinship.
> There's no point in having a girlfriend if you genuinely don't care about the things that are important to her and expect her to just be okay with whatever things you decide aren't important enough to acknowledge.
Never said that. All i said is that just because something is important it's not an instant obligaiton for their partner, because maybe for the other person the oppoisite is just as important. That's whay the first thing i asked is "Have you talked to him OP? Is he putting effort in other things?", because if he is, and as long as he is putting effort in other things that are important to her, he has the right to say "not this one thing, this thing I don't want". Which goes back to my original argument: people act like birthdays are exempt from this, and celebration is mandatory for everybody, always.

You aren’t his priority. Time to find someone who cares.

>That is his way. Doing things at all is her way.
Sure, he's entitled to ignore his girlfriend's birthday. If that is doing things "his way" then that is his right but most of his relationships will fail. You're trying to make this a him vs. her kind of ordeal which, again, gives me the stark impression that you don't have much experience with relationships. Its very odd to me that you view a girl in a relationship wanting her partner to make simple affectionate gestures as this nefarious plot to bend him to her will.

>Your entire point is that a couple has to do things for the other person
If you want to remain a couple, yes. That's the whole point of being a couple. If not you're more than entitled to be single.

>Go back to the first point I replied to you, it was when you said that if she finds it importnat, then he HAS to go through it.
I didn't say that. I said its something you have to be considerate of. That's what a relationship is - two people being considerate of each others wants and desires. If you have no will to do that there isn't any point in being in a relationship.

>All i said is that just because something is important it's not an instant obligaiton for their partner, because maybe for the other person the oppoisite is just as important.
Well if ignoring your partner's birthday and refusing to even acknowledge the day is that important to you then yeah, sure, its not an instant obligation. Its just a really, really strange hill to die on, user.

>Which goes back to my original argument: people act like birthdays are exempt from this, and celebration is mandatory for everybody, always.
For the 5th time - she isn't asking for a celebration. She's asking for him to at least pretend like he gives a shit about the fact that it matters to her.

He doesn't give two shits about you lmao, in fact he gets off on not giving you the time of day.

Ironic thing is if he started to give a fuck about and do things for you, you’d start to like him less and less

>6 years
>not married