We're having a party at work and everyone is bringing their spouse or bf/gf...

We're having a party at work and everyone is bringing their spouse or bf/gf. I don't have one so whenever I go it feel awkward and I just want to go home early.

I'm thinking of hiring a prostitute to be my gf for the night. I don't want to go for an escort because I'm too cheap to pay their prices. So I'd rather stick to a street prostitute. I figured I can find one that's clean enough to pass as a normal woman.

My other option is posting an ad on craigslist for someone to pretend to be my gf for the night.

What do you guys think?

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what made you come up with such an awful idea?

What about it is terrible?

They suck dirty old dick every night. I figured they would be grateful to have a night off.

Believe it or not, but escorting services started out this way. People (typically women) would charge services for you to take them out as dates to something like high school reunions or office parties to impress others (hence the term "escorting"). But clients wound up eventually negotiating for something a little more at the end of the day with extra cash, which is how escorting transitioned to another means of prostitution.

he doesn't want an escort tho...

Then he's wrong.

What's the difference? One is a lot cheaper and can do the trick. Plus if I show up with an attractive prostitute no one will believe me

>I'm thinking of hiring a prostitute, but I don't want to hire a prostitute because I'm too cheap.
...

Just don’t go incel

Doing dumb shit like this is probably why you don't have a gf in the first place. You're spending money weaving up lies and spending your time just to impress your piece of shit coworkers with bullshit. That's a lot of mental gymnastics lol

I don't have a gf because I'm ugly and I have no confidence.

who is she sauce please

And hiring a prostitute will make you more confident? Work on yourself instead of spending money on whores.

just go by yourself dummy

and meet your coworkers significant others and be nice to them. who knows, they might have someone in might for you to meet. this is how plenty of people meet

This right here

>Doing dumb shit like this is probably why you don't have a gf in the first place. You're spending money weaving up lies and spending your time just to impress your piece of shit coworkers with bullshit. That's a lot of mental gymnastics lol
Yes. Also running the risk of a street prostitute knowing where you work is asking for permission to be fired or extorted.
This isn't a movie.

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What kind of job do you have where there are a lot of workplace parties but they won't pay you enough to hire an escort for a night?

What's your plan for when your "date" is caught blowing dudes out back for $5 a pop? Bringing a literal streetwalker to your work party is a terrible idea.

>And hiring a prostitute will make you more confident?
Fucking escorts certainly raised my self-confidence.

It's not supposed to make me confident. It's so I can go to the party and enjoy myself

This would be a great comedy movie... she nods out at the table... pimp shows up... your boss recognizes her because he fucked her once... you realize your crush is mean... In the end you fall in love with the prostitute. I say go for it

She won't look like a hooker

I can afford a good one. I'd just rather not pay top dollar

Extort me for what? It'll embarrass her more

I will make sure they are not on drugs

All street walkers are on drugs user

Some just need the money

just bring a friend and if you do not have one then skip the party

I don't have any friends

see last part

Definitely do craigslist over some rando prostitute.

Or you can go single and learn how to sociallize make friends with taken people who might know single people to set u up with..... oor you ask a girl and take a fucking date to the party?

Yeah you can pay someone $50 for the whole night to pretend to be your gf on either craigslist or taskrabbit. You can ask them to send you pics too so you can find someone you think is presentable

>embarras her
you're pretty retarded. have fun tho

One has social skills and both an understanding and hopefully a desire to play it off right. The other sucks dick for money.

>Extort me for what? It'll embarrass her more
Based. I sometimes forget that normies still care about this shit and it's refreshing to see someone who doesn't.