GIOYC / Get It Off Your Chest

dunno if anyone saw my post yesterday but i ended up goin on that date with the thai ladyboy prostitute this morning. it actually went really well, she's just as sweet outside the job setting and seems really into me. i offered to pay for stuff and she insisted on paying which was surprising. she was very affection towards me which was nice. never done anything even close to this in my entire life but the last few years have been a rapid cascade of changes for me so i guess lately i have a "anything goes mind set". i broke up with my fiance of 3 years a few weeks ago and she ended up cutting me off several days ago. i went on a prostitute binge since i ended things (3 out of 4 were ladyboys) so now im half slept with women half slept with ladyboys.

anyway its a confusing time for me, i dont know what i feel. on what hand its really nice forming a connection with somene but at the same time i know 100% it will never lead anywhere, its just a short-mid term bit of fun i guess or like having a friend you fuck and you pretend to be bf and gf...something dysfunctional like that.

the first time we met it was for paid sex but it was well and truly beyond that, it was suddenly like real love making. the way she looked at me, into my eyes was nothing like ive ever experienced before, none of my gfs in the past did anything like this. she seemed to really want me, everything about her bodylangauge indicated she was very into me. we ended up cuddling in the bed past my time slot and she even fell asleep attached to me with our fingers intertwined. again, none of my gfs ever did that with me. i complained to my ex fiance a number of times that after sex she just "dumps me" with my mess, goes to wash herself and waits impatiently for me to clean up so we can do something else. that always hurt me deep down and made me feel unloved and worthless. then i end up making love for the first timer with a god damn thai transsexual prostitute and now we're dating it seems.

continue

M is the first one, I need to have a talk to that person first irl to clarify what is happening and if we agree on that end, so I'd rather not post my last initial yet

Gotta go back to my awful fucking job again today. It's just a job, right? Just do my best and don't stress about how fucking up could mean I have no hope of advancing my career, right? And it gets better, right? After I work this job for a few months, I won't still want to change careers entirely, right?

I spoke to a good friend about this and he told me he's been seeing prostitutes and ladyboys for the last several years and not once has any of them ever done anything like that, displayed such levels of affection and eagerness to be close to their "client". ive been with a couple other prostitutes in the past aside from the recent ones ive seen and that never happened either. maybe only one seemed to like it a lot but it was purely sexual, this one actually seemed REALLY into me, not just for the sex. beyond fucking weird, im not used to this at all. ive had such a lonely existence. ive had years where i had a dozen friends at a time then going many years in complete isolation. going from being obese, porn addicted and unhealthy to being fit, toned and functional again. its just a never ending rollarcoaster ride.

Ah, you're not him, but you both seem to talk/post pretty similar.

are you in the situation of the girl I posted about? if you are then maybe you could help me understand what she actually wants, this way I can make peace with it instead of comforting myself based on things I'm making up to move on easier

It pisses the shit out of me seeing non binary people saying like “I like when people don’t know what do they treat me like, woman or man”. That shit sounds like “I caught you with your pants down and I like it”. Grrrrrrrr....

I sort of am, it's pretty complicated, but I could give it a try.
I don't really do anything that can get me pregnant, since I dislike sleeping around, but I've dated a few fuckboys due to thinking with emotion and not forethought, so I could give some insight.
What's the weird degen shit she's doing?

It is a complicated story on my end too.
She was with my friend for 2 years and never showed signs of affection. I would hang out with the often, like every weekend so we got pretty close. Then they broke up and I have a weird suspicion she did it for me.
While still crying over her ex, she asks me to spend the night with her and she starts treating me like her bf already, says she loves me and I feel like a rebound and sort of dissapointed that she wouldn't even ask if I'm ok dating my close friend's ex, she just wanted to jump into it and she knows what kind of guy I am, so she should've known better. Then she pushes even further and asks to confirm if I'm still coming over, then she says she might date this guy who said hi to her and she messaged me that deliberately, like she wants me to know she's still gonna come onto me but date this guy if it works out. I felt like I was used so I said I need my space and if she wants to date him then she can, its her life so she can do whatever, but I didn't want to be a part of that.

During the period we didn't speak, she would still say she loves me, but she's been surrounding herself with fuckboys since I left and she used to exclusively date fuckboys before and she is "easy" and possibly has daddy issues so I wouldn't be surprised if she fucks them, while still claiming she loves me so I don't know what to think, I need to ask her about that when we speak. She told me that next time she'll sleep with someone would be after weeks of dating so thats what throws me off the suspicion but she lied in the past so idk what to think. She also told me she steals so I asked if she could stop, she said yes, and during the break I found out from a mutual friend that she stole again and I can't really trust her now. There was another stealing incident she was accused of recently too so it only fuels my suspicions. She also has an issue with constant need for male validation. I'll cont. in new post

What is her middle initial?

cont.
Sorry, its just a lot to get through, you see how complicated it is.
Some things she acknowledges she does, but there are other things she just justifies or shrugs off when I ask her why she did them. I asked her that after it all calms down we could still be friends, I'm open to that because I don't want to be resentful. We used to be friends after all. She says "no" so to speak. I try to move on. Then she reaches out just asking how I am and starts getting in touch more while I just keep getting more suspicions about her continuous behavior. She just seems very indecisive at the moment in regards to what she wants so I don't want to say the wrong thing to her. Then she asks me to meet up when I'm around to talk about us, whether there is anything to salvage from this or if she should just move on. I agreed to talk but I've no idea what she wants out of this conversation, or if she admits to doing things I'm suspicious of, will I even trust her enough to be my friend again. I need to make the right call during that conversation because like I said, we'll be seeing each other in college daily for the next few years and I don't want her to see me one day if things don't work out and do some spiteful shit. When she broke up with her first guy because he cheated on her, she fucked some much older guys out of spite it seemed and just got slutty like that and I don't know if she won't do it again because I might not give her what she wants, and potentially seeing her do that to herself would break my heart even more than not speaking to her again. I just want better for her and I'm afraid that my actions right now have a lot to do with the outcome and how her life plays out

she doesn't have one I don't think, or if she does then I am not aware of it

Do you think it's worth a longer commute if the job pays well? I'm talking a 10min drive vs an hour. (mostly due to traffic, it's in a really busy area)

depends if that new job will lead to more money/opportunities long term. if not then calculate the pay and fuel cost. or maybe just consider if your current job makes you miserable or the new one will make you happier. i drive about 45mins to work daily but i love the area i live in.

Oof.. She honestly seems too far gone to be saved.
I would go from guy to guy when I was younger, luckily only emotionally. But I can tell you it's probably self-image issues and self-love problems. She does this because she needs the affection of someone else to know that she's going to be okay. It's an attention thing and lack of morals in all honesty. Blame society for that.
If you want to save her, or attempt to, don't go after her in hostilely be as understanding as you can and kind of look at her as a dumb child. I wouldn't recommend sticking your dick in her also. But as a friend introduce her to some philosophy (Maybe Kant or some Stoics) and try to help her with her self image. Ask her to try to be single for awhile and self-reflect on herself, maybe even enter into therapy to help with her stealing and lying issues.
I wouldn't give her your full trust either for awhile, but know if she's seriously wanting to work on herself, she's gonna stumble here and there. Progress is nothing but falling and trying again.

If the talk you guys have doesn't go well and she's not willing to take care of herself.. I would probably just agree to be mutual associates and try to move forward with your life while she chooses her path. Sometimes there's honestly nothing you can do to stop people from ruining their lives.

god someone blz resbond

I can ask her but I have a feeling like she'll think its too much work and not worth it because in the end I won't be with her regardless, so why not just jump on some fuckboy dick and hope for the best right?
I just wished she told me what she was like early on when we met, not 2 years into it just before she wanted to get something from me I couldn't give her. Sometimes speaking about your problems doesn't justify them. I am willing to ask her to work on those things and I did tell her that moving from one guy to another soon after a break up is a bad idea. She's still single from what I know since we stopped talking so maybe she listened. She listens to me a lot, she thinks of me as a kind of mentor is a sense, I would teach her a lot about how I see things and she seemed into it so there is potential and I think she could learn, but if she promises me not to get into relationships for awhile and work on herself, I'm not sure if she won't just sleep around, because she likes to push her boundaries and find "loop holes" since sleeping around isn't technically being in a relationship right? she'd be clever enough to use that as an excuse. It just hurts me to be close friends with someone like that, because I care too much and I feel like I'll just be disappointed, but stick around regardless. Anyway, thanks for the help, I think a lot of what you said was similar to what I thought of doing at some point but wasn't sure about, so its good to see someone agrees it might be for the best.

One more question if you don't mind, if you know the answer anyway. If a girl sleeps with fuckboys, does she eventually realize what fuckboys are and stops dating them and starts looking elsewhere? I don't see these people as particularly interesting and she fell for me because she thought I was, or so I think because I'm nowhere near as attractive as the kind of guys she likes, I just don't know why she'd surround herself with fuckboys now...

just a friendly reminder:

Do you think I could ever date let alone kiss you after what you did?

any time you praise me for being "traditional" or stayin virgin till now or feeling guilty for everything or other stuff that comes out as a result of traumatic experience, know that I hate you!

me and the alien bf

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is it possible to love someone but not want to be with them? I see girls do that to guys all the time and its normal, but when a guy does that to a girl people ask whats wrong with you. I love her but I don't see us together as more than friends. Maybe I'm just holding myself back, but shouldn't it be an obvious choice if you love someone?

I kinda don't want to go to this country fest I'd rather go skate

Nah I know a girl like that
>inb4 durrhurr low t s*oiboy beta bitch faggot
Don't get me wrong I would definitely sex her up if I got the opportunity and I definitely could anytime I want to (because she asked me out in the past) I dn't want to ruin the no stress situation we have. She's super carefree and I don't want her to have what I think of her on my mind which would just ruin the dynamic

I can hear you leaving at 1 am to go to his house.
I can hear you when you get back at 5.
When you get up in the morning you reek of his cigarettes. Neither of us smoke.

Bitches ain't shit, god is the solution

I’m on my period and my stomach hurts uggggggh

Gotta get my shit together once and for all. No slacking whatsoever.

If you haven’t yet gotten that, I don’t love you.

>I don’t want her to have what I think of her on my mind

What? I don’t understand

She’s smoking with friends after the bar closes you cunt. Just because your dick isn’t in her doesn’t mean another is.

You don’t like me, you don’t care about me, and we’ll never see each other again.

I admit I'm an addict and an alcoholic.

My parents came to visit, they arrived yesterday night. For starters, my dad said they would be arriving in the afternoon, when in reality they got here past 11 pm. My dad smelled of alcohol. We hugged, and he started popping kisses in my ear which physically hurt. I told him they hurt and trying to get away from him, so he responded saying that I was being delicate in a derogatory way. That hurt me. It made me feel like I can't even express concern for my own body without being criticized.

He asked if he could give my dog chocolate. I didn't mind that, he's not obliged to know that chocolate is unhealthy for dogs. He then asked if he could give it something else to eat, which I also didn't mind. In both occasions I told him that before he wanted to give it something to eat, he should ask me. He insisted on it, asking if he couldn't give him ham, bacon or anything, and I had to repeat myself. I really didn't mind.

My niece called me via video, and she started singing. My mom was next to me, she wanted to see her as well, and my dad and she started shouting at each other from across different rooms to say something. That was bothersome. I thought it was inconsiderate, but it wasn't something I didn't mind too much.

Then my dad came into my room, and started petting my dog. I thought he had something in his hand which he might have fed to my dog, so I raised my voice and told him no to feed it anything. He got upset and got out of my room, raising his, complaining incomprehensively about not feeding the dog. I felt bad about that, because I didn't know for sure that he fed my dog, but I wasn't rude about it. I certainly didn't curse... Continuing in another post, because I really need to get this off my chest.

Planning will solve all my problems.

I wish the world population were halved and everyone stopped doing stupid shit to our planet.

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Maybe that’s a good thing. If they don’t like or value you then you’re better off without them. Do you want to talk?

Then at night I just shouted good night at them from across the hall. My mom came to my door to tell me that my dad wanted me to go tell him good night. I felt upset about this. Why did my mom tell me this? How is that her problem? Why is she trying to mediate between my dad and I? She's tried for years and it never results in something positive, and usually my dad gets upset with her. He shouts at her constantly, and he insults her at his slightest perception of something going wrong. So I felt ashamed that she came to my room to tell me good night when it was a pretext to just keep mediating. He started complaining about me, saying "who does he think he is" loud enough for me to hear him. I didn't say goodnight to his face, I didn't go to his room. I felt uncomfortable, upset, angry, culpable, and even dirty.

For years, he tried to do this thing where he tried to grab my balls, in a joking kind of macho way. I've never behaved that way with anyone, and I certainly have never behaved that way with him. He kept insisting that that's something he did with his friends when he was younger, but I'm not his friend, I'm his son. I never liked it, and I told him about it for years, and he just complained about not getting his way, and kept trying to do it. So I didn't tell him good night, because he was upset about, but he didn't have the courage to actually go do it himself.

So this morning I woke up, and while I was arranging my thoughts, my dog pooped and peed on my floor and rug. And while I was cleaning that, I started rummaging about the things that happened yesterday, and about the overall behavior of my dad. I normally say that he has a way of getting in my head, but I think my girlfriend is right when she says I have a way of letting him in. I try to be patient, I try to empathize. I know I have faults as a person, I'm not perfect, and I don't expect to be, the same way I don't expect my father to be. Continuing...

Maybe you can see that you are incompatible? Maybe you prefer to be single?

Internally you're an immature 8 year old little girl but with a big hairy smelly Brazilian male exterior. Pretty princess.

But does it matter when I’m not happy?

I spend so much time in your head, I almost forgot what it's like to be in my own. I guess this is love.

Stop filling your head with all that true crime, murder bullshit. It’s not good for you. You might think it’s entertainment but it shouldn’t be.

god i wish he'd love me

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I think what the other user means is that he doesn’t want what he thinks of her on her mind because it would stress them both out and ruin the dynamic.

Love is caring, user. And you seem to care just about yourself.

I’m not the user you replied to, but I appreciate your reply. Just wanted to let you know. Btw, I’m a girl. Hope you’re doing great

Truth is I don’t know if what I wrote is true.

Why is it so hard to avoid topic that are hurtful and support when a person you’re talking to feels bad. You don’t need to be leftie to understand that.

Are you with them in your own?

I know you're miserable but need you take others with you.

Says who? It's not like you know me! I love many people and things, dude. Back off with your hostile comments.

I just needed to convince myself to not have expectations.

Yes! Expectations almost always lead to misery. They’re about control. The serenity prayer is underrated... it’s not just for alcoholics.
Letting go of expectations is easy to realize but hard to remember to implement. Write a note and put it on your mirror or somewhere that you look every day. Acceptance.

I know I have to be responsible to a degree for the relationship I have with my father, since I have the emotional tools to handle this relationship, when he has few. But I also need to give myself some space, I need to respect my personal limits, and sometimes I let my hubris get the best of me. I let my impulsiveness get the best of me, and I lose control. Other than leaving the physical space where he is, I don't know what to do. I know I need to be assertive with him, but I must admit I'm scared. I'm scared because I'm a perfectionist, and I want my message to get across to him perfectly.

I don't know how much he drinked yesterday, but I trust my senses, and I'm not willing to put up with a lie if my parents deny that he did drink before coming home. I'm not crazy, but he constantly denies any wrong doing and shifts blames. My mom gets on his side, lying as well, to appease a situation.

So that's the bottom of it. He was rude to me, to my face, he was inpatient with me, and he does it constantly. I feel anxious, restless, mad, upset, culpable and even dirty, out of control of my own body. I need him to just shut the fuck up for a minute, and stop being a little bitch, like he says I am. Fine, fuck it, I do behave like a baby, but baby or not, I don't have to put up with shit that makes me uncomfortable if I have the power to stop it. Nobody has to tolerate that kind of behavior from anyone, and the fact that he's my father doesn't make it any different because he doesn't own me. I need him to be patient with me, and I need him to respect my decisions and just listen to me, rather than curse and mumble or shout about something he doesn't like.

Are you happy when you spend time with them? What did they do that made you think that they don’t care?

Why? What do you love about him? How do you know that he doesn’t already like/love you?

Sounds more like codependency or enmeshment, could that be?

Why do I trust you or even take you seriously when you don’t reply when I call you out for your bullshit?

You almost never reply when I call you out.

Otherwise, I'll just have to keep limiting myself to the healthy interactions I can have with him, as many as they can be, and walk away when they're not. I don't need verbal abuse, I won't tolerate, it's not good for me, or anyone for that matter. If he can do that, he'll get himself out of a lot of trouble because he'll listen before he opens his mouth and insults someone, because he does end up feeling bad about it, and about himself, it's his usual pattern.

That could also make our relationship better because then it won't just be a one way street where I'm patient with him, and I empathize with him. Right now it's a moot effort because he doesn't do the same. I am patient with myself, and after therapy, and exercises, I finally allow myself to make these mistakes, where I raise my voice at him. It's ok, I'm human, and I make mistakes. he gets that pass as well. But how am I supposed to be patient with him if he won't be patient with himself? How am I supposed to empathize with him if he won't empathize with himself or anybody? It's all in vain.

So I am responsible to a degree for our relationship because of who I am, and because I know who he is, but it's not my sole responsibility, much less obligation. It has to be both ways or it won't work and I will just keep deteriorating myself for someone who's in denial about his faults as a human.

So that's it. I had to get it off my chest. I do feel much better now, and I have a plan of action. I need to tell him precisely what he does, how it makes me feel, what I need him to do, and what the consequences will be if he keeps acting the same, not just with me. I hope the Cosmos gives me strength, since I know I'm not all mighty.

Thank you for your time, and I hope you all have happy lives. Don't do drugs!!!

See? Irresponsible asshole!

Maybe. I devote too much of my time into trying to figure him out. I told myself I don't care, but....

I haven’t spend a lot of time with them, and I haven’t seen them in a long time, but yes, I was happy. They’ve done nothing to make me think they don’t care. As I said before, I just wanted to convince myself to not have expectations.

I made this mistake. Lost years of my life. Just worry about yourself and your goals and it’ll all come together.

You should reach out to them.

Talk to me. You know where I live. You are welcome to knock on my door if you wanna talk.

Asshole!

my tits hurt because I haven't been wearing a bra lately

Fuck you!

Is that what you were exhausting my nerves for? Fuck you from the very heart!

But doing it when he's asleep ? Oh yeah seems like she's trying to hide absolutely nothing on this one! She's being deceptive and that alone is cheating.

I could be your bra bby

Say that to them directly

Fuck. You.

I did that already. The ball is in their court.

Seems that all of that expensive things you got for me is an actual price for my life being fucked up.

How can someone be such a bitch?

And that's exactly why I lost all interest in you.

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I can make them feel better :^)

Do you have any idea how many people have gone through what you guys are going through? Do something about it! Things will never change if you keep second guessing. He who dares, wins.

You lost your shame and human feelings, motherfucking cunt.

My mum keeps asking me when I'm going to find a boyfriend but I told her never. Because I'm a divorced mum and there's no way in hell any guy would want to date me, not when there's millions of other women out there with no kids, especially now that men only want pure virgins. That's their right, though, everyone has their tastes.
I'm ok now, I just focus on being a mum, but I'm financially stable, own a home and vehicle, so I'm doing well. Ex took off and I haven't seen or heard from him ever since.
I do get lonely for male companionship sometimes, but I consider it my punishment for fucking up as a younger woman.
It's been 10 years since my last relationship. I just need to learn how to cope with being alone until I die

I’m so bad at vidya it makes me sad, and I don’t even have time to practice because school and work. My friends are all turbo /v/irgins who stopped playing with me cause I’m obviously the worst out of all of us. My pride is irreparably wounded ;_;

Fuck you too. It’s major disrespect issue, they pretty much chosen me for the wrong reason.

if evens i make a hot foot bath :)

You had none of either to begin with.

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Don’t tell me you’re crying. No tears can help discharge all the salt you carry, cunt!

I’m sorry for not letting you abuse me. Oh, wait, I’m not.

I'm sorry for not letting you use me, oh, wait, i'm not!

Oh I thought it was about a crush. Well fuck em'. Don't let them get under your skin.

Now KISS

Are you in a bad position financially? What would happen if you just quit today?