I’ve been struggling to get a life ever since I graduated high school which was 3 years ago. Dad passed away and mom doesn’t want to let me go because she doesn’t want to be alone.
Older and younger sister were lucky enough to get jobs before leaving high school so they’re off doing their thing. My mom is a very stubborn and manipulative person and my sister’s have tried to convince my mom that they’ll help me find a job and basically get me a life but my mom says that she’ll handle it and she knows what to do with me. Sadly if I run away, I become homeless. Never really had IRL friends so I can’t stay with anyone. Not only that, but my mom likes to guilt trip me if I do attempt to leave her. Saying things like “so you’re going to abandon your mom?? And let me die alone?!” and she’ll start crying and overall make me feel like the worst person on the planet.
I even pushed away all of my online friends because I didn’t want them to hear my constant vents all the time. I know they’re supposed to be there for me but something told me that they just didn’t need to hear that all the time.
I believe it’s also affected my health since I have constant brain fog, vertigo, weird heart palpitations, lost weight currently at 94 lbs and I can’t sleep until 6AM.
I want to kill myself but I’m too much of a pussy to do it but I also don’t want to live like this anymore. Any suggestions?
Sorry about your dads passing. The death of a parent is one of the most painful things anyone goes through. Its going to be tough moving on and out of your moms house. She sounds like a master manipulator. But also have you considered her feelings? She lost her life-long partner and husband. Her best friend. So now shes going to lose you. But the trick is to convince her that she hasnt and wont lose you. You have to be excited about an opportunity to move out so that she can mirror it. Dont let her manipulat you. Just plainly tell her, mom im not leaving you. Ill always be here, im just going to go get started on my life.
If she does ANY attempt to manipulate you or guilt trip you, dont fall for it. Just ignore it. Try to guilt trip her back "mom why arent you happy for me? Mom you should be proud of my opporunity. Im really upset you arent." Etc
Isaiah Rogers
Oh yeah. We’ve been there for my mom since day 1 of my dad’s passing. My sisters always visit to check on my mom. We’ve even tried to get her into therapy or anything to help her cope with her loss and she just refuses all of it and I really don’t understand why and she just responds with “because I said so”
She actually doesn’t care about how I feel. I care for her feelings. That’s why I haven’t left her. I’ve tried telling her that And she just responds with “i don’t cares” and walks off when I’m trying to be serious with her.
Isaac Fisher
Another example is this one time we went out to eat. I can’t go out in public without having an anxiety attack and when my mom starts to notice it, she brings me back to the car she starts yelling at me.
“you’re ruining this family with your fucking “anxiety” how the fuck do you expect to get a job anywhere like that? You’re fucking pathetic and you’re going to die”
Hudson Gomez
Then act the same way she does. If she tries to guilt trip you, walk away. She doesnt care about walking away from you, so why should you?
Ethan Green
I just want her to listen and do this without being disrespectful to my mom since she’s grieving.
Landon Rodriguez
Like she may treat me like a piece of shit but I really don’t want to retaliate or the entire family will attack me for it again.
Jaxon Torres
I can probably help you find a job ? Can you give me a state and city ? Probably some office stuff .
Juan Moore
I’m in the Stockton, CA area. I have zero experience. Thanks for the help btw
Good luck my man just remember on your resume put as job experience end of life care taker . As soon as you graduated high school you took care of your sick grand mother untill she passed a month ago.
Your responsibilities were
>Providing a warm home >Attending to her basic needs hygiene , (baby wipe bath if they ask) cooking and maintaining a clean environment >Companionship
And that chapter is over in your life you are ready for a fresh start. Blah blah blah
Also once hired get a secured credit card from discover and build your credit so you can get a car n shii . You're gonna be alright op .
John Cox
Oh my god that’s a hella based idea
I’ll try this out for sure. You guys are the best thanks a bunch :)
Daniel Stewart
Be sure to fill the details . She had x sickness so she took x medication every x time . Another buliton on your resume.
Jose Smith
IM BOUNCIN WHOOP WHOOP LOUND AND LIT ALLAN POE POE SHIT IM ABOUT TO LOOSE THAT BLUE
Alexander Torres
>Oh yeah. We’ve been there for my mom since day 1 of my dad’s passing. My sisters always visit to check on my mom. We’ve even tried to get her into therapy or anything to help her cope with her loss and she just refuses all of it and I really don’t understand why and she just responds with “because I said so” >She actually doesn’t care about how I feel. I care for her feelings. That’s why I haven’t left her. I’ve tried telling her that And she just responds with “i don’t cares” and walks off when I’m trying to be serious with her. >“you’re ruining this family with your fucking “anxiety” how the fuck do you expect to get a job anywhere like that? You’re fucking pathetic and you’re going to die”
Seems like on your own way OP judging by your posts. Definitely apply for the guard jobs. If you're working night shift, you're basically there to make sure nothing burns down. Easy money, getting paid to use the internet or study for college.
Your mom is trying to use you as a replacement for your dead father. Realize you may face additional issues with her possibly sabotaging your progress. Keep everything close to your chest. Prepare yourself for her having a potential meltdown once you start working.
Good luck user.
Tyler Carter
For sure!
That’s our national anthem
Yeah. It’s happened before. She fucked up my opportunity of getting a job at an A&W when I was quietly applying 2 years ago along with 3 other instances. I fucking hate my mom but I also don’t want to be homeless. Thank you user
