I'm at an impasse between a girl I've really loved being with, and a future that she doesn't fit into. Basically I started dating a girl a few months ago and we have been really great together, I think I love her and I know she loves me. But I recently have learned about career and education opportunities through my company, that would involve moving away, soemthing I know she isn't willing to do, and something I know I'm not ready to take someone along with me on yet. I just feel really torn. Should I break up with her? Should I ride it out for as long as I can and see how it plays out? When she's around I'm happy and I don't even think about it, but the moment she's away, my thoughts are nothing but conflict and stress over it. I want to do what's best for me, but I don't know what I should value more at this point. 23yo by the way.
Anyone with a similar experience or advice? Is a girl worth turning down such opportunities? The idea of leaving her feels cold, sociopathic, but the idea of continuing to stay with her knowing I might leave in the future feels bad too. But maybe my life priories are out of whack and I should choose her and what I have now. If I must, how do you end a relatively new relationship with someone you still have great feelings for, but just doesn't fit into your future plans?
Just wanted to say, my solution to this so far has been to just ignore it, try to live in the moment and enjoy the time with her, and come to that more than likely end when that time comes.
The problem is Im not great at the whole "living in the moment" shit, and I feel incredibly guilty from time to time about basically leading her on. Continuing to build a relationship with her is going to make it harder for both of us when that time comes, and the guilt of hurting her has literally been giving me nightmares lately.
But at the same time there's always the possibility I don't get to pursue those opportunities, as they aren't garunteed, and I would lose out on a great partner for nothing. I want to try to hold onto her until I find that out, but fuck it's stressful and like I said I feel horrible.
Brandon Robinson
>Girl and shitty life with girl who will grow tired of you because you didn't take the opportunity to provide her lifestyle she desires so at the end, no girl
>No girl, but Career and Education advancement leading to more money and more opportunities to meet better girls who will stay with you as a reliable foundation to establish a life
Really?
Also >23yo Holy fuck dump the chick
Eli Hernandez
Your health (mental) > career=woman
Ethan White
The thought of losing her or hurting her kills me. And even if I did have the stomach (or the necessity because the opportunities aren't a for sure thing, but she is) to break it off with her, I wouldn't want to do it until it's absolutely necessary, I'd rather stay with her until I have to part, but I think I'm to mentally weak to handle hiding that terminality from her and feeling like I'm in a relationship with an expiration date.
My mental health is only in a sour state because career=woman if I could easily pick one or the other I'd be fine.
Juan Edwards
Not even going to read your post. Pick the career you imbecile, a woman doesn’t make you money or secure your future.
Joshua Clark
Why not become a career woman? Like a drag queen or maybe a MtF camwhore
Noah Lee
This
Adam Campbell
Yeah. I was having a bit of an emotional moment but looking back I'm retarded, obviously securing the life for myself outweighs any girl. Still kinda am not sure whether to just break it off now while it's still young and spare her and myself any more attachment, or if I should cross that bridge when it comes and try to enjoy the time and experience with the girl, as hard as that is for me to do, I'd like to try it. Thoughts?
Why don't you tell her your leaving town and that's it's set in stone. Might do the work for you.
Kevin Wilson
To add, only women regret not marrying early in life because they waste their young fertile years chasing a career instead of settling with a proper mate early on. No man wants to wife a late 30s work out infertile career woman.
Objectively, a 40 year old man with a profitable career that’s in decent shape is more attractive than a broke 23 year old even if he’s a Chad. So you’ll be able to find a hot young wife even going into your mid 50s to 60s if you keep your health in check and you’re at the top of your career field.
Josiah Howard
Just ghost her and focus on your career. Keep her around for sex as long as possible but distance yourself over time. She will get the picture on her own. It’ll be hard but she will move on much quicker than you so don’t worry about her, worry about yourself.
My advice for you, dear user, is to choose the career. Think about yourself before thinking about anyone else.
As far as separating with you girlfriend, I understand that it can be extremely painful. But remember, and never forget, it's best to cut it clean off - once you end the relationship, you end it. No more calls, no more communicating, no more seeing each other.
It's gonna hurt like a motherfucker, but it's the fastest and best way to get over her.
Good luck, user. May you succeed in your future endeavors! :D
Austin Lopez
Don't keep her for sex. It'll take longer to get over her, and it will be a shitty move, that will make you question your morals.
Just follow your moral compass, and know that you won't regret your decision in the future.
Gavin Barnes
>But remember, and never forget, it's best to cut it clean off - once you end the relationship, you end it. No more calls, no more communicating, no more seeing each other.
Yeah gotta stress this point. If you can’t just cut it immediately then slowly ghost her and casually fuck (meaning no emotional talk just fucking) from time to time until things completely fizzle out. But once it’s over it’s over, don’t go back because at that point a new guy has taken your place.
Joseph Howard
>will make you question your morals.
Well I have no morals when it comes to fucking over women at this point so that’s why I suggested it. If you wanna be a goody two shoes and make it easier on her then yeah completely ghost her cold turkey with no explanation I suppose. Helps if she doesn’t know where you live.
Brody Moore
OP here This is why I kinda wanted to try holding on until right before I actually have to leave rather than break it off now and still be in the same town as her for months before the move actually happens. But honestly the personal guilt of knowing I'm planning on ending it and not telling her, not to mention just the effect it's already taken in my emotions regarding her, having to stretch that out a few months sounds awful, but so does not being with her as long as possible. Shit sucks
Anthony Ward
While I do agree that for the most part you shouldn't care too much about women's feelings, my suggestion was oriented towards the person who does the ghosting, since if you have certain moral stances, it sucks to have flashbacks that leave a bitter taste in your mouth.
Strive for inner peace, is what I'm saying.
Caleb Rivera
Either way you’re both going to get hurt eventually it’s inevitable. This is part of being a man.
Well then, in if you have a couple of months, here's what I propose:
You sit down with her, tell her that you will be in town until ______ , and let her choose from the following options:
1. Continue the relationship, knowing explicitly well that once the deadline arrives, the end has come.
2. End the relationship, allowing for the feelings to subside, and to move on.
Both options have their pros and cons, but I'm gonna let the other anons give their opinion on the matter.
As always, good luck!
Easton Peterson
2. End the relationship now*
Blake Butler
>1. Continue the relationship, knowing explicitly well that once the deadline arrives, the end has come.
The only reason I wouldn’t suggest this is that if you continue to have sex, she might poke holes in your condoms. When a woman feels like she is losing her man it’s common for her to get knocked by him.
Daniel Ramirez
What’s even worse is that she can straight up rape you or steal your sperm to knock herself up and there won’t be much you can do about it and you’ll still be responsible for the child.
My ex use to blow me while I was sleeping in an effort to steal my sperm, luckily I had ED so I barely came at all anyway.
Benjamin Johnson
Imagine being so full of yourself and paranoid and stupid you think your girlfriend is blowing you in your sleep to get pregnant
Brody Phillips
take care of yourself then others women arent worth careers
