Loneliness

Is it true that I need to be comfortable and happy with myself before others want to be around me, or does having others around help me not feel like a lonely, rejected piece of shit? I honestly feel like, no matter what I do, I will always truly be alone, and I'm very insecure about this "fact". I don't want to be, of course, but I am.

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In life its better to focus on others than yourself. Ever notice extroverted people act as if you're the only person that's important to them when they are talking to you?

Misery loves company.

Its a catch 22, most people need to socialize in order to feel fulfilled, and most people don't like socializing with retards who are depressed all the time.

But for the most part the
>be comfortable with yourself first!
thing is a meme. socialization is important to humans. Even as a nearly complete introvert shut-in, I'm happier when I at least have SOME socialization at work.

>does having others around help me not feel like a lonely, rejected piece of shit?
Not going to happen. Having people never made me feel welcomed. You need to work on yourself, but that shit is ultra hard.

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I do shit for people all the time. I always end up neglected and taken advantage of in the end.

I know and that's why all my friends left me. I see no point in making new ones.

Why even have others around when I know deep down they will never acknowledge let alone respect my thoughts or feelings?

>I always end up neglected and taken advantage of in the end.
Yes, when you do things for free, that's what generally happens. I take you're a girl?

If you were a male, not only you'd be taken advantage, but also you'd me humiliated.

>Why even have others around when I know deep down they will never acknowledge let alone respect my thoughts or feelings?
I know what you mean. I also see no point. After I've lost some friends a few years ago I lost all the motivation to find new ones. I felt too humiliated, and one of these people even wrote me some letters.

That's how things are. You'll need to improve yourself to have some peace of mind.

What did they write letters about?

I am a guy by the way.

That I were a good friend and things like that. But then humiliated me stuff like this.

I'm very centered, and then I used to lose my shit because pent up emotions, most of disrespect always came from women. It's hard to trust them.

But men can be equally shit.

I get it. I've decided I no longer want "friends" or "loved ones". Gonna just keep to myself. Be nice, but never let anyone get close. The people that do always fuck me over, they see my flaws and take me to task for them. Honestly, I don't even think I deserve to be happy.

>Honestly, I don't even think I deserve to be happy.
why

Because I'm not a good person, and I don't deserve anything from anybody.

Focus on aspects of yourself that you can work on, skills you can learn, interests you never explored but wanted to. That way, you won't have to rely on others for "comfort", but when you do socialize, you can enjoy it freely without fear of rejection or any insecurity.

"If you are ever tempted to look for outside approval, realize that you have compromised your own integrity. If you need a witness, be your own." - Epictetus

>Because I'm not a good person, and I don't deserve anything from anybody.

what do you mean? why?

Ur just some atoms arranged in a fancy way. You don't "deserve" anything at all.
Happiness is a state of mind :^)

Hard to explain but I realize I'm needy, entitled and insecure and therefore not a very good person. All my friends have ran away from me for this which says enough.

That's fair. I think I can do this. Thanks.

Are you depressed or something?

Are you taking some medicine for that?

Have you visited a doctor?

Yeah I'm depressed. Never went on meds or anything. I may as well even though it won't change anything.

I also can't really afford to go to a doctor or get therapy so...

You really should. Maybe they'll give you for anxiety/depression.

But if I live so sparsely I can't afford them, then what?

If you have no friends you're naturally going to feel lonely OP, nothing wrong with you for thinking that. If you feel you're worthless then yeah that's a problem but if you have reasons to feel that way then the only thing that's going to help you is to do something to raise your self esteem and make you feel better. Therapy really only works if you have baggage you have trouble letting go or have mental issues that can be out of your control to handle alone and can only be treated with meds.

I don't think I've explained everything...okay so I don't think I'm completely worthless in every way, but when it comes to being a decent human being, I've failed miserably. I've had quite a number of people go off on me, get upset, and flat out stop talking to me this year alone. I never thought I said or did anything to warrant this but apparently I have, and it's not up to me. Actually it seems like the more I try to "do better", the worse it gets.

>But if I live so sparsely I can't afford them, then what?
where do you live?

>Actually it seems like the more I try to "do better", the worse it gets.
What did you do?

>what did you do
Not invest in myself. I'm whiny, entitled and insecure. This puts people off and rightfully so. They don't respect me and many outright have basically told me to eat shit.

>where do you live
Why does it matter

>Why does it matter
How much a psychologist costs in your area?

Like hundreds for an hour

are you in us?

Yup

why is it so high?
can't you find it for a better price?

>friends have ran away from me
Friends don't do those things. Fuck them.

They do when I'm a bad person tho

Because America and no, not really.