Snappy Comebacks

I still am introverted, but I was waaaayyyy worse as a teenager. The main struggle for me has been building self confidence and forcing myself to talk more in social situations.

I'm still not quite where I want to be in terms of how much I talk, but the main thing bothering me now is dealing with people trying to "roast" all the time. I get it, guys talk crap to eachother a lot and I'm used to that. Problem is that it seems like with this generation they are doing it CONSTANTLY and I hate it. I'd like to have a normal conversation with people without having to constantly have my guard up because a dude wants to talk shit to me to feel cool.

I never let people walk over me anymore so I always say something back when this happens, but usually I can't think of a witty comeback so it sounds like the equivalent of "no u" or "yo mama". If I don't do that I will say something harsh like calling them a worthless piece of shit, which makes me look like a sperg who got butthurt over being made fun of.

tl;dr Whats the best way to respond to guys constantly trying to establish social dominance without sounding like a 2nd grader?

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tell them to stop being a kid and ignore them

>Why you gotta be like that?
Like what?
>Insecure and in basic bitch mode.

even the idea of wanting to make a comeback is so kid like. Are you a middle schooler or just autistic OP? If an adult insulted me I would just ignore them because they're being a weirdo whose probably homeless or something.

So you don't stand up for yourself and just ignore? How very beta of you.

Men of all generations give eachother shit, have you all never worked in a Blue collar setting? You have to stand up for yourself. You can't turn up your nose and pretend it doesn't matter, they smell that as weakness like sharks to blood and can make for a very bad time

this is so stupid. I'm a PhD student in graduate school. Stop acting like a bitch and do your job. You're not 12

Nah, Pay attention to what they usually reply to each other and attack on the same way. "Hey user nice haircut haha" "well at least I have hair bro :)"
Whatever. Just make the replies easy and in a funny way. You make it just an inch too serious or aggressive and you fuck up the relationship for ever

Now tell that to the thousands of dudes who do this on a daily basis. I agree its stupid as fuck and if it was up to me people would be professional and sociable all the time but seriously I see this shit ALL THE TIME in a variety of scenarios

Parties, casual outings, work, whatever...nowadays theres always guys trying to have a dick measuring contest and you can't always act all high and mighty and ignore them. I tried that at my very first job and it was fucking terrible thats why I'm here on the advice board asking for advice on what to do in the future

Maybe you should just be an adult instead of a kid who asks how to deal with overgrown jocks at parties on a social board for edgy teenagers

Nah I agree with him. Trying to be cool or brush it off as a kid stuff doesn't work unless you are a gigantic golem that nobody wants to mess with. The dick measure contest is real. I don't support it, I never do it, but if they get with me I'll attack in the same way. It's just a stupid behavior of weak males

>this is so stupid. I'm a PhD student in graduate school. Stop acting like a bitch and do your job. You're not 12
You're a PhD student in graduate school and you're telling others to stop acting like a bitch? lolololol

I literally haven't dealt with this in 8 years. The last time some guy acted like a kid cause I kicked his chair, and I told him acting tough or like you want to fight has nothing to do with being a man. Sounds like you guys are interacting with losers

As opposed to the guy who's a PhD student in graduate school that you're kicking his chair? lololol

So if you're at a party having a good time maybe talking to a girl and some guy calls you out in front of everyone you're going to back down?

What if you're at work and you ignore someone making a joke, which causes all the other guys to notice and start making jokes as well?

You keep telling me to grow up but I'm not the one trying to participate in this fucking bullshit, I get dragged into it. Its not like I haven't tried your way, I have.

All it did was make the shit talking intensify instead of go away. Eventually you get tired of it and the resentment starts to build or you snap. I'm not going to ignore people talking shit right to my face and trying to belittle me

I didn't read the majority of this post. The only answer is to tell then to fuck off if you don't like them. It doesn't fucking matter and you don't have enough time to give a shit about retards you don't like. It's that simple. You don't need snappy comebacks. The people saying "b-but you hav to be cool in front of people you don't care about cuz dick measuring" are insecure fags you likely would never associate with anyway.

If you don't want to talk to these people, don't. Trying to act tough when you're not just to fit in is only going to make you look worse or make you feel worse. If you're really that desperate to keep talking to them, I then tell them straight up that you don't like them razzing you. If they continue, refer to the previous point as it's just not fucking worth it. You're your own person. Just because some fag thinks you need to be an epic cool chill guy doesn't mean to on have to.

It was an accident. I think the fact you put lolol after each comment like what we're saying is funny or something isn't amusing or anything

>I literally haven't dealt with this in 8 years

Good for you? Some of us aren't so lucky. Its not like Ive been around the same people in all this time. I got my first job at 16, since then I've graduated HS and Vocational School and been through several jobs. This kind of thing is constant, everywhere. Even from dress shirt and tie wearing motherfuckers.

I think it's absolutely hilarious that you like to remind everyone that PhD student in graduate school and can't forget the chair incident. Must have been real traumatic and a life defining moment for you. lololol

Yeah, sadly I interact with losers at job mostly. Sadly one of those losers is my boss. But leaving those shitty behaviours aside he's a great person and we get along well (same for the rest of the team). Actually I got 3 raises in 3 years thanks to him

I think it's stupid and annoying? Absolutely. Is it worth making a fuss about it? No. It's just who they are
I just think of it like playing with your dog. You have to make stupid shit some times but overall you love your dog

There was a reddit thread of women who said how lame it is when men act tough with each other. Acting tough doesn't make you respectable. The only substance is from accomplishment. It's just the only experience I remember in 8 years.

Paul Dirac was a nobel prize winning physicist with autism who barely spoke one word an hour from the time he was 5 to 60. He ignored them and when they talked to much, he told them, "you talk too much." I'm just saying, this tribal behavior is stupid. I've got better things to do than argue in this thread.

Welcome to social behaviours, where talking is stupid and the other doesn't matter.

That's how anyone interacts. Man I was like you, believe me my autism is to the roof, but I learned to socially fit in. I just see it like a strategy game where I can beat the normal folks if they decide to do stupid things

Just relax and enjoy life

>It's just the only experience I remember in 8 years.
In eight years you've never had someone ever disrespect or insult you that you don't remember? Either you're lying or you're a very secluded individual.
>Paul Dirac was a nobel prize winning physicist with autism
And that explains a lot.
>I'm just saying, this tribal behavior is stupid.
You've already exhibited tribal behavior with your mentioning of being a PhD student in grad school.
>I've got better things to do than argue in this thread.
Yet, you've already argued in this thread.
Good luck with grad school and getting that PhD. I'm sure it'll come in real handy.