So how have you been?

>So how have you been?
How do you even respond to this.

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"Do you care?"

>meeting up with an old ex-friend
>lost touch since she fucked me up, wanted to reconnect for some reason
>sees me and asks the same question
>tell her I'm not doing anything with my days but drinking, going to class, and sleeping, all the while struggling with my newly diagnosed borderline personality disorder
Just be honest. Own up to who you are, you've got nothing to prove.

"pretty good, you?"

That's why it's such a shit question.
That conversation goes no where.

How did that convo go?

>How do you even respond to this.

you don't respond at all. you don't need to answer every bullshit question people throw at you.

You must be a riot at parties.

Alternately "Okay"
Or if I'm feeling REALLY adventurous I hit them with the "I've been alright."

"Parties" are bullshit wastes of health and time.

Yeah they're fucking boring if you're not drunk, stoned or whatever.

They don't really expect you to offload your problems on them, so "I'm fine, you?" will do. At most share some simple issues if they're relevant to the other person.

>Living the dream!
Always means i absolutely fucking livid and on the edge of breaking

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>"hanging in"
>"no complaints"

To a stranger: pretty good
To a friend: I wanna take a hammer beat the ugly sucker in the mirror

>Nothing much what's up with you?

Like a normal human being would

>that brief moment when you consider actually telling them how you really are doing

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"Just existing"

Ive bought the rope.

"O K. And you?"

It's a meaningless social ritual that doesn't expect a detailed answer

I just say, "I can't complain, how about you?"


"Good, I've been busy doing X and Y, what about you?"

>miserable but I'm hangin in there.
I've never actually said this to anyone before but I wish I would sometimes.

Living the dream is my favorite devilish thing to say when my life is falling apart

People respond very well to "I'm fantastic" or "I'm doing awesome!"

Yep, Fake it till you make it.

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My 33 years of life have taught me that no one really cares about the answer.

Can't complain, still alive

>I'm here.
Works great scaring the shit out of doctors.

10/10, best in thread if it's a conversation starter

10/10, best alternative if it's asked in passing.

3/10, it's an okay response, but you didn't pass the conversational baton back to the other person, this will be met with awkward silence.

1/10, unless you want people questioning your well-being (for some of you, this is something I encourage you to do, holy shit) bad opening. Same lack of baton pass.

0/10, don't scare the shit out of doctors, they want to help you.

0/10, if people might reply
to your response THIS early in a convo, you dun goofed.

5/10 if said with a smile, even if forced. No baton pass.

8/10. Two points lost for possibility of being perceived as curt for an overly short reply: they prefaced their line by saying "so", which is more familiar than the standard ritual version without it. This invites people like to, briefly, share more than they normally would, and means they're probably looking for details of interest you two can briefly talk about or use to kick off a conversation.

Go home Dave you're drunk/10

>Oh you know.
Never fails to get a chuckle.