I feel fucking socially insecure and awkward, I've never had girlfriend, I don't know if my friends really like me...

weed is illegal in my country
and I can't smoke at home because I live with parents (I'm 18)

I feel completely the same way op ever since my summers started I’ve been sitting in my room for the past 2 months and I can’t shake the feeling that my friends don’t wanna hang out anymore, just want more friends :(

Where do you come from?

I'm pretty similar to you I guess. I pushed myself because I was afraid of becoming a fuck up, graduated college and working my first job now. I still spend majority of my time alone playing vidya, overthinking my problems, and sometimes I get invited to hang out with friends but it's hard to enjoy it because of the self-awareness of my social anxiety.

My suggestion is that you get a part time job. I worked as a cashier in retail for some time. While I hated the work and wanted to quit sometimes, making some simple conversation with random people and spending a good chunk of my days outside got me away from going down on a negative spiral.

Uk

yeah its approved for use for this exact reason.
if you cant get it just use dxm.

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Don't feel too bad OP, if I was your friend I would probably try to prod you to do better for yourself but I wouldn't think less of you if you were a NEET. There are people like that, maybe your friends don't think of you the way you imagine they do.

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if you take it enough times then yes. it has certainly helped with my awkwardness and insecurities. obviously don't take it too regularly or it might fuck you up, leave a few months in between rolls

I used to be like you.

Now I'm completely different. I've had a beautiful gf who I had sex with daily, had groups of "friends", have been with model tier women. I'm nearly finished an engineering degree, I'm articulate, smart, confident and I know that I'm going to

The fix is that you get braver, not that the feelings you have go away. I am now extremely confident, and that confidence is real. Why? because I've spent years doing things that scared the shit out of me. I've put myself in so many uncomfortable situations that nothing really fazes me anymore. I've learned that I'm a leader, not a follower, and that I don't really care if people like me or not. That isn't important and it's not the way I want to live my life. I've learned that I'm largely an outcast because I have a high level of intelligence combined with a lack of proper socialisation due to a highly dysfunctional family (both parents have high IQs but one is bipolar and the other is a narcissistic psycho). That put my in a lower socio-economic bracket than kids with high intelligence would usually be in, which led to years or alienation and loneliness. I had nobody I could relate to and other kids thought I was weird. I have no ill feelings about it now, it was human nature.

Maybe nobody does care about you. Maybe your friends don't like you. That's not under your control, therefore it's not worth thinking about. You focus on doing things that are going to help YOU. What's your job / career situation like? Are you working out? How's your diet? Do you know how to dress properly? Do you know how to articulate yourself properly? What books are you reading? Are you addicted to porn / nicotine / alcohol / drugs?

Life is brutal man, the world can be a horrible place. You need to start building up your stress tolerance and get stronger, otherwise this world will rip you apart.

smoke weed. this is common now your behavior and smoking weed.

Remember this: your feelings are coming from you, not the world. Don't have more respect for those feelings and perspective than you do for person having them. You are not what you feel.

>what's your job/career sitoutaion like?
I'm going to last grade of high school (I don't live in USA)
>are you working out?
yes, I work out regularly
>how's your diet
I eat good, I eat fruit and vegetables, many proteins, I am building muscle mass
>do you know how to dress properly?
yes, I think I do, I'm interested in fashion a bit
>do you know how to articulate yourself properly
I think I do, but I may have a little problem with it
>what books are you reading
I don't read books... I can't focus on them and I can't find book that can make me interested in
>are you addicted to porn/nicotine/drugs/alcohol?
no, I drink alcohol ocasionally on parties and I do drugs very rarely
>smoke weed
I can't because I live with parents

I used to be like you. I was a kissless virgin at 18, had social phobia, and felt like everyone hated me or was just putting up a facade.

5 years later, I am in a LTR, I have friends who I know care about me and I work constantly towards my future. Of course life could be better and I still get insecure from time to time, but I am satisfied with how things went.

You will continue feeling restless. I know I did. I won't tell you to work on yourself, because you will figure it out on your own anyway.

Put yourself into uncomfortable situations. Travel solo. Talk to people on the elevator. Talk to foreigners. Learn a language. Go to a party where you don't know anyone but the host. These are all things that worked for my awkwardness.

Do you have hobbies? Do you write, or play a musical instrument for example? Do you go to school, or work?

>Last grade of high school

So you're like every teenager that has ever lived. Nobody is confident at that age. Largely because you haven't done enough to build confidence in that space of time. Arrogant, yes, but life will take care of that for them.

Keep doing what you are doing, you have no idea how much I wish I started working out and eating healthy at a young age. I see kids your age in the gym at times and they're all either awkward or loud and cringeworthy.

You're likely nowhere near as badly off as you think you are.