I need your advice anons. I have been together with my wife for 8 years now. we have two kids, which I love, but I'm unhappy. I feel as if we're only together because of them. She is very dependent on me for everything.back in I had a friend whom I thought would marry the first time I saw her. over time we lost contact. I always thought about her. we met over this weekend after about 9 years. I feel as if I have never been happier. I love her and she loves me back. what should I do anons? should I leave my wife? or endure a life of unhappiness?
Leave your wife and go back to being happy user. An unhappy marriage is the key for an unhappy life and if you stay for the "gotta keep the kids happy" meme then youre just fucking them up worse. Kids know youre unhappy and the rolemodel that they will have for their future relationships is that of a loveless one done only for "duty", because they "need" to.
You may not know what you have until it's gone, OP. Now I want you to be happy but if you've spent 8 years with this girl I'm sure she makes you happy in some way. Please think this carefully through, search your heart. Talk to her gently about how you feel. And please never cheat on your wife, always be honest, not that I don't think you wouldn't. Just putting that out there
I have never cheated on her, I wouldn't do that. I have tried tried to tell her how I feel but every time I do she gets some sort of panic attack which then I have to calm her down. ending in us not talking about it again
I'm so sorry that's going on, I'm like that too in relationships. Maybe you can tell her along with some trusted family or friends to help her through it.
That sounds bad. Guilt tripping you into staying. That's actual abuse.
I do love her, I don't want to portray her as the bad guy. I think I am. leaving her would wreck her. with her I feel empty, when she cries, I feel nothing. she's a good mom
>I don't want to portray her as the bad guy. I think I am.
Neither of you are the bad guy. Sometimes you run out of love and thats okay.
>leaving her would wreck her.
How so user? Is she monetarily dependent on you?
>leaving her would wreck her.
How so user? Is she monetarily dependent on you?
she has no real working skills. never been able to keep a job for more than a few months.
there is no motivation in her to pursue anything
Why did you get married? How old were you when you met, married?
I was 20, she was 18. I tried to break it up back then, but she would get quite frantic. I feel horrible causing pain on someone. got married so shed be happy
when I come home and she looks at me, she's happy
Sorry man, she has you on a leash. She has been manipulating you all this time.
I'm sitting in my living room right now while everyone is asleep. thinking about how I have messed everything up. feel like crying right now. I'm stuck. I can't do that to her
>endure a life of unhappiness?
You hit the nail on the head. Who said you have to be happy? You think this is about you?
Why not? You are not obligated to stay with her if she is not fulfilling her vows. Absolutely nothing prevents you from doing what will make you happier in the future.
>You hit the nail on the head. Who said you have to be happy? You think this is about you?
nothing really has been
There is, you’re just not seeing it. She’s the perfect 50s wife every stupid incel and boomer yak about. Raising good kids and having a nice happy husband is all she needs. Except let me guess this is about a lack of sex or you’re bored sexually, womp welcome to marriage and committed life. Find ways to be intimate and attractive to a woman’s brain that don’t involve your penis and the day will come she welcomes your zesty attempt to stick your chode in her cunt with little to no resistance.
coming from a broken home. I wouldn't do that to my kids. maybe I would wait until they are old enough to understand. but then I think it would be like wasting her life.
>There is, you’re just not seeing it. She’s the perfect 50s wife every stupid incel and boomer yak about. Raising good kids and having a nice happy husband is all she needs. Except let me guess this is about a lack of sex or you’re bored sexually, womp welcome to marriage and committed life. Find ways to be intimate and attractive to a woman’s brain that don’t involve your penis and the day will come she welcomes your zesty attempt to stick your chode in her cunt with little to no resistance.
The reason isn't sex.
Dude shut the fuck up. Clearly if dead bedrooms are a main factor in these dying relationships, then it goes past the husband trying to get his wife wet. Women dont get wet off visual and physical shit atleast not when they're up in age you fucking moron, they usually cheat or just fuck in general guys with status, so if husband OP is making $300 less on his paycheck but holding down everything else in his, the kids, and the wifes life then why the fuck should he also have to court this bitch as if she was in college again. Past a certain point you need to understand what the fuck you have, except women are children so they never see the end result, only the current and that's why they cheat with guys who have status at first but ultimately end in the same way her husband does. If dead bedroom is the cause then the bitch needs to own up to the fact shes gonna have to pleasure her fucking husband even if it's a chore.
>even if it's a chore.
Eeeeh, your situation isn't THAT bad, to be honest. It's not like you're fighting or hitting each other. Your kids are probably happy and healthy too.
Listen, high libido caused by your partner only lasts about 2 years -by itself-. After that, you have to motivate it through other means.
But libido isn't everything in a relationship that consists of a marriage and 2 kids. If you were 20 and just fucking around, then yes, libido would be everything.
Keeping these things in mind, you really should confront your spouse about your lack of sexual pleasure. Talk it out calmly and in a heartfelt way, but don't back away when she panics. This is causing you as much pain as it does her and she has to understand your needs, just like you understand hers. Since you love her and you don't want to hurt her, she is the first one to work this out with you
If you feel like you can't reach a conclusion, perhaps a couples therapist could help, it's not a cure-all, but maybe you can get some good tips at least. Usually breaking the daily routine helps a lot, like going on a trip without the kids or something.
The grass isn’t greener, it’s just a different shade of shit. You already cheated I assume, looks like you made your choice. Have fun having split custody.
No i havent cheated.
And again this isnt about the lack of sex.
Thank you anyways anons. Ill endure
I don’t know man.. I mean if she wants to keep the guy from looking for sex elsewhere then she’d blow him or something. But if she can’t be bothered to have consenting sex then to hell with her. She knew what it was when she first dated him, just because she’s a mother doesn’t mean her sex drive vanishes without a choice. She obviously hates herself if she can’t even feel sexy, a guy will fuck any woman who wants it.
What I’m trying to say is, sex needs to be consensual or else it’s a “chore” or sexual assault depending on your perspective. My girlfriend wants kids but I already have a few with my ex, so I’m tapped out. Plus I don’t want to give her something to love more than me. I saw how that goes and couldn’t see the end coming because I was too busy working full time.
What is it about, then?
You ARE together because of your kids, it's so they have a nice environment to grow up in. That means you're probably going to feel like shit sometimes for their sake. That's the way things are right now in the world.
I guess you can still see your other friend once in a while, if sexual pleasure isn't what you lack.
First off you’re an idiot if you think you love her after seeing her for a weekend.
She is giving you intimacy but that will fade just like it did with your wife.
Why don’t you examine your wife closely, maybe she isn’t so bad. Maybe it’s you trying to find happiness in others when you aren’t happy yourself.
Not like i re
alized i loved her just over the weekend. We have a long history, re
ason we didnt stay together is because she had to go back to her country . Didnt know she would come back.
We still feel the same after all this time
You have a duty to your children to put them through high school and to reach the age of 18. During that time be a good father and husband and try to fix the way you feel through specialists or marriage counciling. If after everything it doesn’t work, then you break up.
Dont cheat on your wife but leave her. Tell her you just are unhappy but still love your kids. Get your divorce and move on
Treat her as a sister for a couple of months, if you'd like go to a whore/prostitute weekly. Maybe you'd want her more than a sister then
Just cuck her dude.
you're a fucking dick head
You’re a fucking ungrateful dick. The fact that almost all of us want to be in your position right now to just have a woman love them and be happy to be with you. You fucking ungrateful cunt. I hope the girl you like and are thinking constantly about turns out to be a huge bitch and cheats on you constantly and your life gets ruined. And I agree with The grass is DEFINITELY not greener at the other side you fool. I hope you find out the hard way. And all you anons saying she’s manipulating him and he should her should fuck off! God I wish was married to a woman like OP.
My ex left about two years ago, and she is an absent mother. Our son is very fucked up emotionally from everything that has transpired.
You're going to do whatever you do, OP. Seems like your mind is set. You have a duty to your children, though. Don't be a faggot.
File for divorce today!
If you're reminiscing about a relationship you had 9yrs. ago, then it seems there are other issues at play. I wouldn't want to to start over with an ex. They're an ex for a good reason.
I also think if you're miserable, don't stay together but you have to truly know. I've seen the effects of long loveless marriages caused by social pressures. Using the excuse of staying together for the kids can be damaging to your kids later on.