I just woke up from a trance where I had tricked myself into being happy with my life. I am not happy with my friends, my family, my career, my personality or anything that has happened in the last 4 years
I enjoy responding to questions with sincerity.
I wish I was better at inciting people to ask them of me.
I'm not desirable,
And it hurts me mentally.
I have nobody to tell that how much i wanted to be loved.
How much i wanted to be in a relationship.
I need to continue acting like i don't care so i don't look like a desperate fool.
You have to pay support. I don't have to agree to anything. Love it!
Thing is, I used to think that if a woman shows me interest, she's the only one that could like me so losing her means the end of the world. Now years later I've improved and I know that if one girl doesn't work out, I can do better and I'll find someone else.
But this time, my best friend's ex, who I really click with, tried it on with me but I couldn't do it to my friend, but I did actually love her, it just didn't feel right and we both knew it. Thing is, she kept pushing regardless, but she eventually pushed too far and instead of talking to me about if I'm even ok doing this, she started playing mind games and coming on stronger and getting me jealous so I had to distance myself.
It's been 7 months now and she was ready to date again 7 months ago, but she's still single now and sometimes reaches out. Now she wants to rebuild our "relationship" because she misses me too much. I don't know what that means, friendship or working on a relationship.
The break gave me time to think things through and I learned a lot about her that she wasn't telling me and now I'm having suspicions that she might've fucked other guys while still holding onto me, saying she loves me and being somewhat desperate to get my attention. Then it was her who reached out so I assume she was actually into me, but if she fucked other guys and then claim she loves me, then I'd feel terrible hearing about it because despite thinking I can do better, it's hard to move on from her and I feel like its the end of the world. I don't know if I miss her friendship or I'm scared about the fact we can't be together because she might hurt me saying she fucked other guys, but loves me and wants me back. I'll have to say no to her then, but that means losing a friend completely and a potential girlfriend who I could love.
My friend is out of the equation now because he is a toxic cunt and ditched me so now I don't feel like it bothers me, but it seems too late now. Its so fucked.
I can't read your fucking mind.
Being an adult sucks.
I mis my boo
At least my life was interesting. A less than ordinary life, where I met and befriended many extraordinary people. Both good and bad. I don't know if it's because of my poor mental state or just bad luck that I had so many mishaps in the few years I endured. Bad enough to think that I was nearing the miserable finish line and give up everything I fought for.
But I'm too young to feel this old and burned out. At a ripe age of 30, I still have 30 years or more to live. Suicide has always been out of the question, even though the thoughts has been plaguing me for years. Hell I've been suicidal since I was 8, and I always manage find comfort, even a good slice of happiness once in a while.
Though I lead a lonely life, I always manage to find new people, to befriend, even if it ended in disaster or they fade away slowly.
My dreams and goals may seem impossible now to achieve, but it's all I ever have now. I can't lie to myself and seek new paths of life, it was a disaster. I have no choice but to pick myself up and try again.
This girl is like a trophy wife but we have great chemistry. I just live a very quiet and private lifestyle and she's just too extroverted, overly friendly with other guys so I'll always feel like I'm competing and despite her looking great, I wouldn't feel comfortable with being with her and eventually I'd be unhappy. But everything else seems like a compromise since like I said, we have good chemistry and she's the most attractive girl I know. I just don't know if thats enough
J I reallyyyy wanna duo with you again we were so good together, i have a crush on you, i miss you why'd you delete me off your friends list:(
Remember when you used to tell me everything you were doing... all day. What happened? Can you tell me. I think we were close enough that you should not do it this way. Years and years.... Please?
I barely do anything than sitting in front of my laptop and rewatching the videos on youtube I've watches like hundred times already.
My ex has no idea that he gave me a feeder/eater fetish.
I miss my mum
I don't know if I will ever find someone I wanna spend my life with
I feel like I don't have enough energy for my life
man I wish I could have more sincere conversations in my life. The only real reason to drink for me is to have some real conversations with people in my life.
I miss you from the bottom of my heart but how could you be so cruel.
I don't think you miss me. I don't think you think about me. I don't think you even liked me.
Goodbye D. I will always love you.
If there was something I could do to be with you again, I would. I miss you and would be so much better to you this time. I'm sorry about how things happened the first time, I was selfish and stupid, and I hurt you because of that. I don't expect you to trust me again but I would love to give it a chance at least. Things felt very right at the wedding, and then you cut me out of your life like a cancer. Guess it was time. Im no longer that person. If you can get past that I miss you like hell. I'm pretty sure you miss me too, even if you won't admit it. Let's stop kidding ourselves and make it easy. We make eachother happy when we are together, let's have that again, but with way better communication. Also you and I had some great sex, and I miss that terribly. You are a beautiful soul, and I want you to be happy. Let me make you happy.
Damn, I don't think even hard work is gonna fix this but I might as well try.
Just talk to me. Thats all i need rn. I think it'll be good for both of us
>took a really messy, smelly shit this morning
>wipe myself clean
>an hour or so later smell shit
>notice a huge skidmark on my underwear
well I can already tell today is going to be a shitty day
We tried, we tried for a long time and as much as I care about you, I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to hear those promises just to feel let down again, I'm sick of the endless demands constant scrutiny, giving you everything I have when you give nothing in return. I can't wait for it to get better forever and I don't have anything left to give. I'm glad you feel like you're changing for the better, but I don't want to get hurt anymore.
One girl I'm very attracted to, but I doubt she'll like my lifestyle and my friends.
The other one I'm not as attracted to but I feel like she'll be a better match and like my friends and my lifestyle.
I feel like if I end up dating one, I'll regret not being with the other, for different reasons. I don't know what to choose and what will be a more long lasting option...
Wake up soon sleepyhead I wanna talk to you :3
Oh boy, don't you just love it when someone's bitter and negative over others' happiness? I sure don't. It's better if I could stop associating myself with that person, but she randomly appears out of nowhere just to spew some negative bullshit despite the fact that no one's doing anything to her. I'm so sick of this kind of jealousy and envy coming from such people, fuck off and get over it.
my mom speaks about my ex classmate who's gotten married. "oh, user, I used to feel so sorry for her. She used to look so sad, but now she looks so happy". She totally did a hint about me looking miserable.
I wasn’t sleeping, I just helped my mom to make cookies. But I really appreciate (and enjoy) the affection :3
Cute and wholesome, how did they turn out?
What are you talking about?
I think I need to shower again
how old are you, and why don't you get a bf and get married?
Racism should be a mental illness. Your skull gets bigger with pruning, so the cranial compacity bull-shit is fucking wacko.
I genuinely have no idea what's stopping me from an heroing in the goriest, most deliberate way possible.
I don't know why you're so afraid of this. You confessed your feelings for me months ago. When we're together, you're a little shy at first, but after a while you like touching me and hugging me, and you always go to kiss me. I can tell you have a passion for what we could have, but you're scared to open up. Lots of mental issues I guess, but I want you to know I'm there for you. I've known you for years, and I want you to feel safe and loved. I don't think you've been with anyone else for a long time now, you're too scared to get hurt. I wish I knew a way to tell you I wouldn't do that, but you always deflect the conversation if it gets too emotional. I remember the night you first really kissed me, it was incredible. You were so playful, we were joking about hating each other, and I said I didn't hate you. You said prove it, then pulled me close. I probably made some mistakes along the way from there to here, but I still wish I could just tell you that you don't have to be afraid. I don't know how.
I just want to have a face to face conversation with you about everything. The good and the bad. I understand where I want wrong. I was cruel to you, and I am sorry. I genuinely need to get these things off of my chest, and you're the only person that can really grasp the gravity of it all. I've had all this time to process our relationship, my actions and when you finally left. It seems like you've completely moved on, and I'm ok with it. Fixing things is not something I'm holding out for, but we need to have a working relationship on some level. Our lives are unfortunately intertwined for the next 11 years at least, so we need to squash the tension. And I need the closure before I go totally off the deep end.
This is so fucking sweet omg good luck user I hope you can make it work with them!!!!
next, try weed.
Aaahh he is gonna be asleep for awhile I can tell. Maybe I should just go back to bed
You pushed me away 6 months ago, thats why I left. You act like you don't even see your fault in it and you still go with your lie.
6 months later you reach out again and want to talk about us? we're not the same people anymore and I don't like the person you became and the people you call friends. When I was around you were different and I guess I liked that but then you hurt me and I suspect you did more to hurt me during those 6 months. I already made up my mind when I left, what is there to talk about? how you fucked me over and didn't take responsibility for it? how you fucked me over further and now you hope that we can at least stay friends? this conversation is going to be closure for me, thats it I'm afraid. Thing is, its YOU that fucked up so many times and you hurt me way too much after everything I did for you, I did nothing wrong and to turn it all around in your favor because it was ME who decided to leave? please, what do you expect? just don't do anything stupid and whore yourself around after this conversation because I'll be around and I don't want to see it and be disappointed that a person I once thought fondly of, now becomes just a fuck toy for fuck boys. What did I ever see in you anyway? think some girls just do that, get you all interested and then crush your heart and then act like they did nothing wrong and want you back. I have to say no to this, it has to end some day
Is it still considered child grooming/grooming in general if your high school teacher "lovebombs" you but only pursued you sexually once you turned of age right after graduation?
I'm tryung to work through some shit but this part always confuses me.
It's predatory behavior. No need to lose yourself in technicalities.
No one cares you attention whore.
I fucked up too badly... Time to move on...
Run out of canned milk (those were the ones where you need to stick two cookies with canned milk and sprinkle the sides, pretty much like oreos), but I guess they gonna be nice after they sit for a while.
Nice, hope they will be yummy.
With men, you know exactly what they want, but once they get it you end up feeling kind of used.
t. Bi male
There are many kinds of men. Sounds like you have a personal problem if you are only getting close to the ones that want to use you.
Hurts a bit now.
Oh God she's going to text me... I want to die.
Please let me just fucking die or go into a comma or suddenly rocket to another planet now where I can safely become an uncaring alcoholic or something and not wait for her response and deal with the confusion I created in terms of when to schedule the date and all that shit ueubdirbcnrjsjansaudhAsssdsdadadsdfs make it stop. How can I miss this up so many times and not clarify properly and then it gets harder and harder to explain as I become more and more nervous God please if you're real just strick me down now.
>Strick me down
yep everything fine
talking drinking with mates on a birthday do
ignoring the chest redness
ignoring the pain
ignoring the wheezing
ahh just hurry up and make it terminal and end me
What will you do?
Ask her if she slept with other men.
Good attitude. It’s never to late to work towards a goal. What is your main goal?
What time is it where he lives?
It’s predatory because she’s your teacher. How did she love bomb you?
Haaaa this man, what the ... !
I drink 2 beers every evening, but now I can't feel the effect anymore.
At least you have to feel good for that party, so let it be.
Maybe later you'd agree on telling me what you're up to.
He rises! Now to make us some mofo pancakes
Take your normie blog somewhere else.
what's the difference between mofo pancakes and regular ones? :D
Why are you like this to me?
It's torture, honestly...
How is s/he like?
I would sit in silence if that's what you wanted to do
Love. Here is a recipe for you
1 cup flour
1tsp baking powder
1/2tsp baking soda
2tsp malted milk powder
Pinch o salt
2tsp melted butter
1tsp vanilla extract
1 large egg
Makes 3 medium pancakes, double or triple if you want moar
online and sometimes IRL even when I was a kid I seem(ed) to have a knack for phrasing things in a way that makes people pissed. or I have bad timing with something. or the person completely and utterly somehow misunderstands me and flies off the handle at me.
I'm not an autist and a lot of people have mentioned my "nuance" or "sensitivity" unprompted throughout my life yet at the same time the amount of instances where I inadvertently pissed someone off is making me concerned and angry myself.
it's like... I manage to press someone's sort spot without meaning to. I can understand people usually very well and it's not that I aim to be cruel or insensitive - and yet here I am. how do you know if there's just a lot of retarded people who fly off the handle out there vs it is I who is the problem? or is it both?
no matter which it is wtf do I do? I am usually a serious, thoughtful person, this is starting to bug me (and no I am not an autist seriously)
am I looking like cooking person to you?
although I'd like to try making those thicc japanese pankaces, but I'm too lazy.
I'm absolutely demoralized at work. This coveted office job is nothing but 90% annoyance or misery. The only highlight of my day is my cup of coffee in the morning. The pay is shit, $18 an hour isn't enough for me to care, even a fucking retail job sounds better. Incentives are just an excuse to make us work more in exchange for giving us what could have been included in our paycheck. My boss is an idiot. Shes the biggest cock sucking, clout grabbing ass kisser I've ever met. She says yes to everything. She's easily wow'd by anything and everything and expects us to learn it. She makes next day requests and serves it on a gold platter to her bosses. Everyone's stressed, work keeps being redistributed because no one wants to invest in software we use. When shit hits the fan she sticks a bandaid on it and tells us to search for other solutions. Upper management praises all the hard work saying we're best in class for the industry and boasts increasing profits and new clients but that's all bs. What they actually mean is we'll keep costs low by paying you shit and when we manage to automate everything we'll cut you out. The vp didn't even want to keep me as a temp. Why should I put in effort if the company thinks I'm a waste of resources. I would rather play the part instead of busting my ass off for a company that doesn't value me. I would love to quit and find a new job but fuck California. Everything is expensive as hell and my savings isn't nearly enough for me to live comfortably for more than a few months.
I'm ready. I have toiled long enough just doing nothing, my next major project begins today regardless of resources. I will not spend my life locked in this office, I will not spend another second saying I'll do it tommorow. Im gonna fucking make it and nobody can stop me, especially not the nay sayer who lives in my skull.
Jesus Christ, I'm so sick of you assholes hacking everywhere I go online, everywhere I do business or get health treatments. How much fucking information do you need on me?
FUCK YOU. Also that Tranny was obviously hired by you freaks.
why has everyone turned into a boring sissy who wants to psychoanalize the other person and talk about how they used to self harm instead of wanting to have sex or some fun?
I know, I will. I'm just terrified of hearing she did, its clear that I should move on but the impact will be heartbreaking and I don't know how to brace myself for it
To work in the film industry as a filmmaker. My father was a struggling filmmaker too, so does my brother who also a musician. They may not be big and successful, they have at least achieved their goals to become one. It's damn hard to put your foot in the door, but once it is in, it's like a dream come true.
Just imagine that what you say to them is the same as them flying off the handle is to you. Make sense? Psychopaths can at least understand intellectually and avoid it in the future.
Pancakes are really easy, but they can be trial and error if you've never made them before. A good pan makes all the difference
why did you bring up psychopaths?
OK I'm hearing what you're saying, that my innocent remark feels the same to them as someone yelling but my problem is:
I manage to hit the sore spot WITHOUT even knowing I've close to a sore spot. like, I truly had no clue I was getting close to a touchy subject or that I had hit their sore spot.
how can I anticipate something I cannot "see"? how I not hit the sore spot to begin with?
I am a good person
Are you telling us or yourself?
- don't drink coffee, alcohol or smoke
It seems to simple now.
You sound a bit like me. Pause and think longer before speaking. That’s all I got. I’m contstantly putting my foot in my mouth.
Both I suppose
I hate my life and want to die and always have felt this way
It's noon and I think I'm gonna start drinking now
I'm in pain and nobody is gonna help me and I can't help myself.
26 year old KHV male with zero aim or ambition in life. I think I should just end it already what am I waiting for.
Lessons you haven't learned:
I'm a complete degenerate who can't find a girl if my life depended on it because I'm insecure of my disgusting and deformed body even tho everybody I know think I have a pretty nice looking body...
I appreciate the reply but it's not even that for me, I'm calm and don't speak/react too fast at all. It's just that I seem to have an inordinate uncanny ability to say something that hits someone right in their insecurity.
However, pausing a bit and taking some time might help me anyway with my issue. It's just that I truly don't see their sore spot whilst managing to hit it without trying to.
How do I avoid saying the wrong thing if I notice nothing at all that indicates something will be sore for them? I don't go out and yell fuck n*****! or hope you die!!!! or you're looking fat these days!!
here's an example of what happens with me:
person: talking about how grass lawns that you have to mow are just a stupid holdover from rich people who had space/money to burn and they're a total waste of time/resources
me: (internally I agreed with this person) hey you know what they say? no one hates nature more than gardeners.
person: (upset) you know my grandfather who died of cancer was a gardener and he loved nature!!!
I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP!
Guess you'll die alone then
That's spelling actually
Oh I thought it was "too".
you thought nothing
I alone am the thinker
I feel as if I have to work really hard to be taken seriously, I'm a 5'4 manlet with baby face. I look 14. The only dates I've found are with women that turned out to be morbidly obese, I still have my dignity so I did not fuck these women. I'm 20 so getting into the bar scene isn't an option either, not for a few more months. Im generally pretty good at making people laugh and after a girl gets to know me its normally hook line and sinker their in but it's incredibly hard to get to the point where I'll be given that chance. What do?