ITT: Ask the Opposite Gender Anything

what makes people stop jumping from one person to another or from one relationship to another and focus on themselves instead for some time?

Date one then the other, you won't know until you have dinner with them to see how things go.

For me it was bettering myself. I was in a place physically (and by extension mentally) that I wasn't ready for one just quite yet. Everyone is different.

>cuddling on the couch watching anime with your bookworm GF
i literally cannot think of anything more /comfy/

im going on a date with a very cute girl who is also into chinese cartoons is kind of weird but in a good way and is extremely easy to talk to. When i asked her out my friends gf told me she was extremely giddy and happy, I couldn't be more excited.

Not to sound like I'm sucking my own dick. But pretty much every girl I dated, I ended up not liking, but they seemed to like me very much. I just have that universal sort of personality I guess, its likable and a lot of different girls seem to find something about them in me.
I don't want to end up dating one and then the other, making the first one disappointed or sometimes even angry with me. I don't know, I feel very guilty every time it happens. So recently I've been trying to change my approach and get to know a girl initially and see if I want to date them. Thing is, I want to date both I just don't know which is more compatible with what I am and its tough for me to date both. I feel like an asshole doing that, I don't know why exactly I just do, so I was trying to avoid that

Girls

Why is it considered acceptable to have a friend who you use for just sex?

during that period, if you met someone you click with, would you date them? or would you stick to bettering yourself?

There is a girl who broke up with her ex a few months ago and I feel like she's on that self improvement stage. We get along and I can tell she likes me but I'm afraid she might reject me purely because of the self improvement thing and if I just waited and was friends with her for long enough, she might not reject me later if that makes sense? at the same time I'm afraid some other guy might swoop in and date her because I didn't ask her out

>play in world of warcraft guild
>be kissless virgin age almost 27
>meet one chick irl thats in our guild
>shes kinda nice but kinda messed up and older than me
>our meeting sorta resembled a date unironically
>as in we went to eat something, spent like total 3 hours

so is this how dates look like

Would a dude take any form of offense if I tell him I miss his company and that's the main reason I'm reaching out? I don't want to convert him into an emotional tampon, and am instead on my way to confessing my feelings for him, but I'm afraid this may prove a little bit overwhelming if I do it in one go.

Do you want to meet him for drinks or dinner or something? What do you want to achieve?

A girl recently reached out to me after about half a year of silence asking me out for coffee because she wants to talk about us. She refused to give me the details so until it happens, I don't know what she wants from me, if she just wants to be friends, in which case I might consider if she plays it right. But based on our specific situation a relationship is off the table for me, so she didn't specify if that is what she wants. Now I'm really anxious and nervous because on one hand, if I knew what she wanted then at least I'd be able to prepare myself mentally for it. But if she tells me what she wants and its something I don't want then I'm only preparing myself for a tough and upsetting conversation with her after a long time of silence.

Telling him you just want to meet up can lure him in, telling him exactly what you want can put you in danger of rejection. At least if you meet up you can talk it out. Though in my case, I wish I knew what she wants and I'd speak to her in person regardless, but thats just me, some guys would just get closure over text because its safer, if it is what he wants of course.

What is it that you want from him and how long did you wait to reach out?

men, guys, boys. this friend of mine has been dropping hints left and right about missing me and liking me a lot since almost a year... flat out asking me to move in him at one point. he never asked me out on a date or anything. idgaf so i am about to ask him out, so the only question is: other than severe lack of confidence, why in the world would you not ask out someone if you know you want to live with them for a long time? storytime pls. i'm not looking for explicit advice, just curious about everyone's experiences.

To get him to go out with me. To get to know him better and see whether we would be compatible long term. Backstory is that we kinda clicked very well at first, but due to my inactivity and passiveness he kinda drifted away while I was busy with irl chores and coming to terms with the idea I'm falling for him. I know for a fact he's not pursuing anyone else, at least not actively, so I'm trying to see whether I could salvage the situation by making a move.

Definitely go for it

Just ask him if he wants to catch up and get a drink

Thanks, lads, I'll text him asap and hope he hasn't gone for Stacy while I was away.

We stopped being friends because she caught feelings for me and I couldn't return them since she was my friend's gf and it just didn't work out.

Its been around 5 months, maybe more, I don't remember exactly and she's messaging me now to meet me. What does she want? I'm pretty sure she already got a bf because this guy and her are overly friendly too each other on social media posts they tag each other in which comes up on me feed. Since then my friend and I stopped being friends and she knows it, so I'm thinking that had a lot to do with her decision. But I can't make out what she actually wants. Any help? I see some people here are in a similar situation to me so I wouldn't mind some insight. I mean, its been a long time since we talked, what changed? what does she want?

its the lack of confidence mostly

also fear of rejection

You make it sound like the woman is a dumbass who doesn't understand the nature of relationship or is being tricked into sex. While it can be the case for some, it's not really the case for most.

Most people who have FWB relationships are people who want to have sex, like fucking each other and aren't interested in pursuing a romantic relationship.

Girls

Why do you sometimes make sex videos or send nudes to guys you’re not in a relationship with?

People like having sex, recording it and sending explicit photos to people they want to have sex with. Because it's hot.

its degenerate

getting rejected is very shit and requires a lot of confidence to begin with
a man simply risks a lot by asking a girl out

Then don't engage in it.

Women, what do you think and do when your female friends date assholes? Like cuasing her, stone walling, gas lighting, shit like that.

Girls,
If you don't respond to a guy's text immediately, does it mean you have no interest in him? My coworker sometimes texts me back instantly, sometimes doesn't respond for hours. I have no idea what the fuck's up with that.

Girls,
my girlfriend said me putting doubts about how serious i was in her head caused her to be abusive and feel extreme anger to the point of having to take anxiety pills. With her addictive (drug) past is this right, or was it always in her.

>If you don't respond to a guy's text immediately, does it mean you have no interest in him?
I do try to reply immediately to my boyfriend, and check my phone obsessively to see if he texted me, but I can imagine a woman busier than me wouldn't answer.

Maybe she is introverted.

>what do you think and do when your female friends date assholes?
It's their choice. I tell them my opinion of them if they ask me.
I am more proactive if I see her being in danger, either emotionally or physically.
I talked to the parents of a friend of mine when I saw signs of physical abuse on her, and told my friend to break up with her boyfriend when I found out he threatened to kill himself if she broke up with him. But if they're just douchebags, it's whatever. People are dumb, my friends included.

I don’t

Girls, how clingy are you compared to your partner?

Is it an issue if the guy isn't as attached (?) as you are? i love my girl and i often demonstrate it, but i am used to be alone so i feel like sometimes i am not there as much as she is. I like having my space and she understands it, but still.

>Girls, how clingy are you compared to your partner?
I'm clingy as shit. I have a huge embarrassing teenage crush on my boyfriend and I think about him 24/7. I run for my phone the second he texts me.
He's pretty clingy when we're together in person but far less clingy than me over text and such.
Neither of us minds being alone overall. I'm more introverted than him and I really enjoy having my space in general, so it's not a problem for me.

Ladies, do you shave your armpits because society expects you to or because you like the look, or some other reason?

Depression
>what do you think and do when your female friends date assholes?
I detatch from them as friends because it eventually builds up to a point where they're gaslighted into believing I'm bad.
>If you don't respond to a guy's text immediately, does it mean you have no interest in him?
No, it means I'm busy.
>was it always in her.
This one, because this really sounds like an excuse to be a shit person and take pills. She should not be excused.
>Is it an issue if the guy isn't as attached (?) as you are? i love my girl and i often demonstrate it, but i am used to be alone so i feel like sometimes i am not there as much as she is. I like having my space and she understands it, but still.
As long as you are communicating your love languages and being satisfied through them, you're all good.

I like the look, it's more hygienic.
It's the only part of my body I shave in winter, beside my ankles (because I like having exposed ankles but don't care enough to shave my whole legs unless I'm seeing my boyfriend).

I mean I know she's working since we're at the same company. Maybe she doesn't want to waste both of our time at work by responding quickly and causing me to text her all day?
She doesn't use social media that often but I know she's not introverted though.
Makes sense, thanks.

I’m into my friend. All of my female friends (her friends) want me to ask her out already. I’ve been hesitant. I really would love to date her though, and I’m probably gonna go for it soon.

1. What do I say to her? Tell her I’ve been into her for a while? Do I just ask if she wants to go out with me? How do I do it? Do I just wait until we’re hanging out with everyone and I pull her aside?

Me and my complicated girlfriend have been together for 6 months, she is from a country in the caucasus region but studies in the city we met. When we were here everything was great apart from the occasional fight and one big fight about me 'being interested in other girls' and her kissing a girl in a club when i wasn't there. Early July she went back home to see her family. about 5 days in she started constantly feeling bad and attacking me in complete rage due to what i had apparently done, when my visa got approved I went to see her in late July.
She revealed she kissed more people in week when we were 'broken up' and I wondered if I should go. I ended up going on the 7 hour trip and the first night she was very happy to see me and introduce me to her family.
The next days we would pretty much have an argument every night how she couldn't trust me and wanted to be friends but we ended up reconciling each time.
To clarify her family is very backward Russian and her parents are split up and in a huge fight along with financial trouble.
I left her country on a good note and expected things to be better as I had shown my commitment to her.
Well shit, things only got worse and her attacks more and more vicious saying I was the worst thing to happen to her and being a 'leech' who always gets what he wants among other things.
While I'm usually quite strong it ate away at me and I snapped at her which eventually not talking and blocking one another wherever, leading me to say I'd throw her stuff out that was at my house, which was immature in hindsight but was in the heat of the moment.
Fast forward to now and while we are both in our 20's she decided to get her mother involved and is on anti anxiety meds.
Despite me telling her to keep my family out of it she contacted my mother and calling me manipulative and pleading shed get her stuff for her. Ever since that happened we haven't spoken which was about 3 days ago.
what do?

It feels better when it’s smooth, and i like the look. And luckily society agrees.

Can guys really go from having sex with a woman on a consistent basis to randomly never wanting to have sex with her again? Even though literally nothing about her appearance or personality has changed?

need more context. Is it in a relationship or just something casual? maybe he found someone else or you did something to upset him. I don't know. Could be many things. I used to have a friend who would randomly start ignoring me for no reason until I somehow manage to read his mind and figure out what to apologize for, then he'd talk to me again, every time he blew something out of proportion and he made himself believe he has the right to be upset. Maybe this guy is the same?

>What do I say to her? Tell her I’ve been into her for a while?
fuck no, that always backfires hard because you're coming on too strong. I took that approach and it went from her being super into me both from my perspective and all of our friends confirming, to her thinking I'm creepy and ghosting me.

Just ask her out.

I recently moved back to my hometown after many years. I've been running into an ex a few times now and everytime she sees me she literally runs away.
I broke up with her many years ago because she was emotionally cheating. I don't have feelings at all anymore, but it kinda makes me feel bad to have someone running away from you and it's been a source of stress because last time she did this I was at a public event and her friends were staring at me like I shouldn't be there.
Never been an asshole to her, nor I stalked her or been a creep, though I've might have had a bit of a self-destructive behavior after we broke up, as I thought she was the one. I'm trying to figure out why is she acting that way. Should I try to talk to her next time I see her or should I just ignore her behavior ?

I have the same thing, except our breakup wasn't bad. her BPD wound up clashing hard with my natural paranoia at one point and she was quick to make the call that it wasn't going to work.

Since then she's been pretty actively avoiding contact with me, though if we're in the same general area I usually catch her looking at me, then looking away as soon as we make eye contact.

is using animal emojis mostly something only literal faggots do?

yass slay

Anyone have experience with a non-relationship relationship? How did it go.

I'm dating someone who "isn't ready for a relationship", but totally acts as if we are. We go on dates, we talk about our feelings, cuddle, etc. It's totally a relationship in every way but the name. I'm not sure if I should ride it out, or end it? We both have feelings for each other, but I'm worried I'm just waiting my time.

Nah most of my female friends use that retarded cat laughing emoji and that stupid fucking monkey face bullshit.

bump

Not necessarily. I've been in a situation where we both liked each other for quite a while, but neither of us made a move. When I told her I've been into her for months, she said she's liked me for longer than that. YMMV, but it's not a rule.

I need help.
My girlfriend started college recently and lives on campus. She wants to focus on school and live her life.
I respect that.

The problem is for the past 3 months she's been distant. Maybe the honeymoon phase is over for her, I don't know.
I asked her the other day how she felt about me, because she's obviously different - really different. She said she loves me with all her heart and told me not to worry, but she's just busy.

Should I take this as she's just past the honeymoon phase and just doesn't want to interact with me much, or should I take this as she's slowly moving on?
I'm becoming insecure over this and I don't know what to do. I give her her space, but she literally does not interact with me. She doesn't even sound like she misses me.

Sometimes the person is just not ready to be in a relationship

They might feel like they can't come on too strong, or maybe there's some circumstances that mean they don't feel like they can commit (needing to move cities soon) and risk being a heart breaker later on. It's a bit childish, but no mater what it's a defensive manuever, so maybe ask them if there's some circumstance that is making them feel this way?

So this guy and I met on tinder and we started chatting a lot (no I don't think we were planning to hookup and most of the texts were nonsexual) We sorta just had conversations that went on and on, and we finally decided to meet up for drinks on Saturday.
Saturday went super well, in my opinion. We were talking and barhopping for 6 hours straight and expressing solidarity as we both have ADHD, we're both similar politically, I think we got along pretty well and he did say it was fun.
Anyways, the morning after I asked him if he wanted to hang out again and he said that he was interested, but that last night was a little overwhelming and that he needed a minute to process things. He said that this is his first date since his last relationship and that he thought he was father along that process, which I totally understand and honestly it's my maybe third date since my last relationship and i struggled a bit when I started with the whole idea that it's really 'over' over with my ex.
I just honestly really like this guy, it's really rare for me to get along so well with someone, especially in this state (it's very religious here, and I'm not so). I want to respect is distance but I honestly caught feelings really fast and I'm wondering if I should wait it out and see if he reaches back out to me, or if I should reach out to him in a few days in a lighthearted way, or if this is actually just a way to let me down nicely and imply he doesn't wanna talk to me anymore. Of course that last one would kinda break my heart but that's ok, I just don't know for sure. Would it be okay to reach out in a few days to see if he still wants to talk? Should I wait? I don't know what to do, i've never been in a situation like this.

>Would it be okay to reach out in a few days to see if he still wants to talk? Should I wait? I don't know what to do, i've never been in a situation like this.

You have a vagina. It is obviously ok.

Does confessing your love to a girl you barely know ever work in real life?

How does that make it ok? He has feelings too, you know.

Please women fucking help me out

Why don’t people find me attractive? I try to look happy and get good pics but deep down I’m depressed and a 26 year old virgin.

Yes my hair is messy in this pic from a windy beach but it’s a genuine happy picture...

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How do I deal with women in our family? If I don’t want to talk with them because of reason of both sides not mixing well ( mentally speaking ) how do I tell them to fuck off without calling my job harassing my boss on how I’m not contacting them? I work for a certain corporation where that is frowned upon and they they know this.
>yes, I tried but it’s just causing stress

Dont overthink this please. You're asking too many questions. Next time you two are talking and you're isolated, ask her out.
>wanna hang out with me tomorrow?
>wanna chill and watch a movie at my place?
>what would you say if i asked you out for coffee?
Here I have you three random ways to ask her out, now fucking do it.

I don't think it's the appearance that makes you unattractive. Tell us about yourself?

fuuuuck no, you'll look super creepy, you have to ease your way in slowly and make your attraction seem gradual or you'll scare her off.

I work in the medical field in a big city. I like to hike and play video games, big into music and just normal guy things. I like to have fun and I’m not socially awkward other than a bit of shyness. I don’t believe I am too weird. Tinder and the likes really have fucked up my confidence, though.

>Tinder
You're not a 10/10 or insanely rich my dude. Unless you're an amazing conversationalist you won't get anything from tinder. You sound like an ok dude that is capable of bonding over interests, I suggest you go to hangouts and talk with friends of friends.

Tinder works for every male I know in real life. I doubt it’s only working for 10/10s

When you say “you’re not a 10/10” do you just mean I’m not attractive?

>Why don’t people find me attractive?
BECAUSE YOU STOP TALKING TO THEM.
(°□°)︵ ━

You're average maybe. I can't really tell I just think you're not photogenic. There's nothing wrong with you but the picture looks awkward somehow. If you're so hellbent on tinder, you need better photos.

Girls with female friends, if you ask your female friends for advice/support in the dating department, what kind of advice/support do you get?

Ok. So I’m not attractive. Average is unattractive according to women. Its also subjective for not good looking.

Why am I unattractive? What holds me back from being attractive? That’s literally all I want advice on.

Gets me to vent and try to calm me and rationalize. Then she's there for support. I only have 1 female friend.

Also what’s bad about the photo? My mom took it on vacation and said I look really good in it. Just be honest with me, user. I came here for feedback I can’t get irl

Take this with a grain of salt, I told you I think this is not the best picture. But you look clingy and insecure. Those two things together are not great and are very arbitary idk how to tell you I got that from one photo.

Depends on who I ask.
My friend Sarah will tell me I need to dump my insensitive, cold fascist boyfriend whenever I bring up an issue.
My friend Helena will tell me that he's the love of my life and it's worth working on issues.
My two best friends will probably give me a more sensitive insight on the thing, or let me just vent.

It’s literally a picture of me smiling on vacation. How is that clingy.... I’m not clingy I’m lonely as anyone with my age and inexperience would be. What would you suggest I do to look more attractive to women? That’s all I’m here for...

You look fine, actually. Maybe if your nose would be a bit thinner, you could be a supermodel.

This one is much better! Less squinty. I don't like how its grainy and I don't like the quality of the photo, but it's a good start. If you have a friend with a lens camera, they can take good quality pictures of you. Also better to not look directly into camera but somewhere around it, or somewhere in the distance.

Fuck you for ignoring me, Brandon.

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Women, if a guy friend asks you if your female friend is single, what would you do? Would you get insulted that he's asking you about another woman even though you aren't dating? would you try to set them up or just tell him whether she's single or not? I want to ask my friend but I feel kind of weird about it.

It's an association by default my dude, most of the guys that have messaged me with a similar photo has done something creepy or cringy. If I don't know them beforehand I'd be weary of the person. Tinder is basically working on photos. You want nice quality photos and usually if you're smiling wide in them, you want someone else in the shot with you, or some indication of what you're happy about.

I'd tell you if I knew. Might make a bit of fun, but nothing more than light banter.

Add me on Kik I don’t even use discord anymore

what the fuck did I miss

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then send me your Kik on discord or post it

Killab93 kik
I just deleted the pic

sent

Sorry I thought the original pic was better since I was happy instead of taking a miserable selfie. It’s ironic cause people said that I looked too depressive and boring before and to get pics of me smiling. Now I’m hearing the opposite, heh

My ex gf cheated on me and generally was a bad partner to me, so why can't I stop thinking about her? She was my first real love, and we were together for a very long time, but it's been almost 6 months since then and I certainly don't want her back whatsoever. Despite that, I can't seem to go throughout my day unimpeded by frequent thoughts of her/what she's doing.

For context, I already blocked her on everything and deleted all texts/pictures a long time ago.

Alright, for the males out there.

I can’t seem to meet decent dudes, where do I go? Im pretty nerdy and keep trying to do groups and things but no luck. My friend (who is a psych) just told me that my type of dudes tend to be fuck bois (White, nerdy, smelly). Is she right? I just want to give up.

Skelly*
Goddamn it, brb offing myself