EVERYBODY that I turn to tells me I have to “love yourself before you can love somebody else” and “when you stop...

EVERYBODY that I turn to tells me I have to “love yourself before you can love somebody else” and “when you stop looking for love you’ll find it”. I can’t imagine what it means to “love yourself.” That makes no sense. If I literally walked on the moon it would mean nothing to me if I didn’t have somebody there with me to share the experience. I enjoy nothing in life. Nothing. People have asked me all my life “what do you do for fun” and I have literally never had an answer.

Is this a known illness? Is there anything easily accessible that has ketamine in it in trace amounts that I might use?

Everything that people suggest is shit I DONT like. Get a dog, try painting classes, go to concerts, get a gym membership, try yoga all this other BS that fucking normies do. I’m an exceptionally intelligent person that doesn’t enjoy things without clear purpose and goals. I don’t even drink alcohol, and I’ve never had an answer when I ask normies “what’s there to do for fun...WITHOUT drinking”.

What is fun?

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>If I literally walked on the moon it would mean nothing to me if I didn’t have somebody there with me to share the experience.
You won't enjoy it anyway, you'll just feel less like shit because someone is enjoying.
>Is this a known illness?
>Everything that people suggest is shit I DONT like. Get a dog, try painting classes, go to concerts, get a gym membership, try yoga
Have you tried?
>What is fun?
Fun is a moment when problems are not in focus.

Here's an advice: try any activity where your life is at risk. If you die, it's an accident, and if you don't, it's an adrenaline and serotonin boost.

>Is this a known illness? Is there anything easily accessible that has ketamine in it in trace amounts that I might use?
Get checked out for your hormone levels at an endocrinologist, and then neurologist. Start eating really healthy and exercising before considering taking any depression meds.

I like the way you put it. But what is something I could do right now as a catalyst to a greater effect? I’ve actually considered a prostitute just to feel human contact, but once it’s gone it takes away more than it gives.

I have no trouble with women. Hookups come easy. I just feel like a loser because I can’t find somebody that values me enough to settle down with.

>try any activity where your life is at risk.
After I slid across the highway at 90mph when I fell off my motorcycle, the pain is a barrier to risk.

i stoped at i'm exceptionally intelligent.

>capable ape
>can't appreciate little things in life.

what the fuck ?

You write like an idiot, there's no excuse to write like this unless you're a teenage girl.

>If I literally walked on the moon it would mean nothing to me
Bullshit, you can't say that because you will never be allowed into space.

>Is this a known illness?
Stop trying to diagnose yourself with a fucking disease, this isn't tumblr and we're not doctors here you faggot.

>I enjoy nothing in life.
Even if it's just drugs you can enjoy something in life.

>I’m an exceptionally intelligent person

My advice is to grow up before posting this absolute diarrhea onto the internet again, you fucking retard. Get a job or graduate high-school, just do something other than whining.
>What is fun?
Maybe jerk off, faggot.

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If you die, oh well, you weren’t having fun anyway.

If you live, congrats, you had fun bud. Keep in livin

That's a bunch of bullshit for scared people. Here's what you do: find someone you find attractive and share a connection with, ask them out, date.

That's what most people do. Everyone else spends years finding reasons to keep from doing that.

It's essentially a flowered up cliché way of saying "if you aren't up with your insecurities moods and good with life, you'll be a shitty ass, possibly abusive partner. So save someone else the bullshit, crank ass bitch."

Well for starters you sound like an absolute crotchet so I don't think you can love anyone else properly to begin with.

I did love somebody for EIGHT YEARS. We were perfect, I was her world. Then her bitch ass abusive mom ripped her away from me with threats, physical abuse, and gas lighting. I want that bitch dead after how an innocent person could be abused like that.

Inb4 yes I called police, CPS, and told my GF she never had to be alone with mom but the mind games run deep

Anyway, I wish I knew fun. Never found it. Don’t know what it’s like. There’s no purpose in life and the best news I could get right now is two-weeks to live by a physician. God willing.

I’m outcast by everybody.
We always talk about what they want to talk about (football, look at that chick over there, I took a shit THIS big once) and when I open my mouth (Piagetian theory, etymology, applied physics) they roll their eyes and walk away.

Inb4 wrong crowd, it’s not for lack of trying. The ONLY people that relate to these topics are ectomorphic nerds that are too fucking shy and awkward to speak intelligibly in any crowd and get on my nerves for that reason.

Yes I’m pulling ass, but god dammit I want to find somebody that isn’t a threaded-brow bobble head.

Where is a place that you go for a purpose regularly and is a place smart people would frequent?
Good: practical courses accessible to women equally, martial arts, dancing classes
Bad: bars, clubs, anything that would make you look like a super creep if you went alone.

I would hate to sign up for any of these options only to find by the second day there are ZERO available women and I’m out a membership fee and time. I wouldn’t enjoy any of these options, so its strict purpose is to match make.

The whole “when you stop looking for love, you find it” pisses me off to no end. It implies that you have found happiness in yourself and you’re just living life. I do not “live life”, I work and sleep and do the minimum necessary to get by with the measly 3.5 hours I have every day for leisure. If I decide to do something to relax, it takes 2-hours minimum to unwind from work, by then I’m already anxious that I need to sleep to be ready for work so my leisure time is pointless. I live to work. I never should have got a job. I was happy homeless. Now I make good money, have two cars and no life.

If you are where I was 10-years ago, stay homeless. It is the way

your a retard.

like shinji

>ask 100 girls for their number
30 laugh it off
60 have a BF (so they say)
8 act offended
1 is DTF
1 hopefully is dating material

These are based on a good day out with my “friends” wherein we all engage maybe 50 women and make them laugh then naturally offer an invitation to an event in exchange for a phone number.

Thing is, the “hopefully dating material” is only a 1 because it can’t be absolutely zero.

Statistically no matter what I do I will not encounter, approach, earn and then court a decent woman. To even get there I’m going to have to live a fabricated life wherein I approach women practically daily.

Tell me why life matters again

Man i wish i could tell you what it's like, but you will really just experience it out of no where.
One day you'll just be chilling, not thinking about her, not thinking about relationships, not hating yourself, not feeling bored, and then boom aĺl the sudden a significant other walks into your life from the most random place.
Just keep working towards letting things go, it'll happen naturally.

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It’s statistically unlikely with the amount of time I spend available for social interaction. My job is as an executive manager so I never see new faces and the ones I see are all men.

I should also state that I live in Tx. Let me spell out the stats in regards to women

Our state is comprised of 70% fatties. (I just looked around a VERY busy mall and YIKES) The other 30% single females are:

50% brown skin THOTS
20% black skanks
15% other THOTS
5% gay
6% materialistic gold diggers
3% crazy bitches
1% All around good women...but looking to marry a Johnny Depp/Tom Hardy analog

Idk dog. My friends sister goes to school in texas and shes 9/10
She complains about every girl being a hot blonde with blue eyes.
Maybe its just your location, move to a bigger city like austin if you could afford it, every day will be a social interaction.

Austin are gay hipsters that name their teacup dogs after Amy Winehouse songs

Well its either gay hipsters and attractive women or being alone.
I cant make that choice for yoy

Haven't you figured it out yet? They're just stupid fucking attractive normies and they think that they have relationship success due to what they're doing, which is loving themselves, because their lives are good

Fuck these dipshits

Intelligence and pride of intelligence always kills fun.

Beauty isn't intelligent, it's feeling, and feeling beautiful in a beautiful place is fun.

ie, your favorite cheese shop, taking a walk with a good friend, petting your dog, speeding down the road with a bike during a warm summer.

Seems like you enjoy at least one thing OP. Making shit threads

I don't like Stephan Molyneux but this episode is worth listening to, some unexpected psychological insights:

>If I literally walked on the moon it would mean nothing to me if I didn’t have somebody there with me to share the experience
This is not good.
You don't think your experiences matter.
You don't think you matter.
You'll have a mental breakdown on LSD and then you'll gradually build yourself back again.
Or maybe I'm wrong, idk.

Watch the fucking video.

You’re so smart...you’re stupid

I'm not sure how to answer you, but I can tell you that you are healthy as healthy can be.

Good on you for writing what's true to you. Maybe meet a girl.

Yeah you clearly have some kind of mental illness. Not joking why don’t you see a therapist.

Loving yourself just means accepting yourself, but also appreciating the good and accepting the bad and trying to improve it. That’s basically what love is with another.

they mean you have to think you are great. you have enjoy being alone. you have to want to look at yourself because it makes you smile. if you don't feel that way a
bout yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?

Loving yourself is taking care of what others love about you, and without loving company, you cannot truly love yourself.

People with bad childhoods have it the worst in this case.

You want a motorbike.

Nothing else even comes close.
2 weeks in and you'll forget about wanting validation from a wet hole

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OP here. My motorcycle only helped my body count. But you know what? That’s who I am. I am a motorcycle fanatic. So Fuck it, I might get one of my bikes back on the road

But besides that, WHERE do I go? I want to meet people, mingle, naturally and organically bump into strangers and have a reason to talk to them

I was at Chick-Fil-a yesterday minding my business. I was sitting at a table facing inward and across from me was a young West African chick facing outward, so we would be across tables but facing each other.

Typical American ‘rangertan walks in with his basketball American small talk “oh girl, I KNOW you aren’t sitting by yourself”. She looked down and smiled at her lap. He put his hand out to introduce his self and she side-eyed his hand and shook it, then he had to ask her for her name because she just said “good meeting you”. After some typical “muh Queen” talk he went to stand in line.

I continued watching YouTube while she was reading and taking notes. He kept looking back at her from the line he was standing in.

Once he placed his order he came back to her table and tried to talk her up into eating with him and she kept saying “actually I’m fine” with a shy awkward smile. Finally he walked away and glared at me as if I did something. I just laughed out loud at my YouTube vids and acted like I was the only one there.

As soon as I ended the video, I just looked right up and said “you must get that a lot”. She had a relieved smile on her face and said in her accent “yes, yes all the time”.
“I can imagine, being young and out on your own. What’s all that you’re working on?”
“Oh I have a job interview tomorrow, I want to go over my resume so that I can be confident when I answer questions without looking at my own paper”
Her smile is really coming through
“Not nervous though?”
“I mean a little”
“What’s the job?”
“I’m going into IT, working with Linux”
Boom, we hit it off

Now we’re really chatting it up and she’s unwinding because I haven’t complimented her or made her uncomfortable.

Boon man walks by and looks at her then looks at me like “man da mugdafug woodeewoo” as he walks out the door.
She has a slight awkward shift in her seat as she tries to brush him off.
I stand up as if I’m about to walk out and say,
“Well it’s nice talking to you, excuse me if I’m kinda nerdy about this stuff, I’m Anonafugalot”
“I’m Ari”
“Interesting name, I couldn’t help but notice the accent too”
“I’m from Sierra Leone”
“Oh that’s where you picked up on French?”
Now she’s engaged because I know there are Creole in West Africa, which must be rare for Americans she encounters to know about her home.
Now she’s really unwinding and telling me her life story as I’m standing beside her table and she’s being genuinely interesting.
Finally I hint that I’m taking my tray from my table to finally leave and she juts our her hand and says “well it has been very nice meeting you, Ananaplugahole, very nice.”
“Good luck, you got this. Maybe I’ll see you around and you will have good news?”
“Yes maybe. Thanks!”

Man if she were about five emoji skin-tones lighter I’d be making plans RN. Fucking life, bro.

If anybody is getting any pick-up tips from this, here’s one more. Be cheeky and quick. Don’t second guess a single word that comes to mind, just say it.

When I was leaving Chick-Fil-a, I clearly heard one of the employees behind the counter (as she had her purse and was leaving) say “and my butt hurt”.
I was going to make a comment but that would be a weird thing to break stride for. Don’t be the guy that doubles back like you aren’t moving with a purpose.

Before I hit the door, there are about 6 staff behind the counter saying “BYE! Thank you!” To which I HAD to respond. So I stopped, laughed as I shook my head and said “I just heard somebody say their butt hurts, so on that note I’m out” and before I could even finish the line, everybody is breaking out in laughter, the girl that was leaving work is covering her face, everybody loved it. Now when I go back there they will likely have a knowing-smile as if to say “aren’t you that guy”. That smile is a cue for you to say “oh yeah, I was that guy that heard a lil TMI” and you are IN. You will have made a name for yourself all because you said what you said and didn’t care who heard.

This is the most sensible advice OP.

I am in a similar depressive episode now and It's lasting a long time. I wish it would end.

The weeks, days and months that I don't experience a depressive episode are great I love it and take note of all the things that make me happy so I can revisit them and force myself to take them up when I am depressed.

Fixing my exercise and diet massively improved my moods and attitude towards life because I was giving a shit about myself and felt good in my own body for once.

>If I literally walked on the moon it would mean nothing to me if I didn’t have somebody there with me to share the experience.

This is my biggest problem I can't solve. You can't make people be your friend but you have to give them a reason to want to be. I don't give people many reasons because I'm so guarded from past experiences.

I was in Amsterdam on my own a few weeks ago on a couple days trip, some guy came up to me randomly started talking to me and asked me to go speak to some girls with him. He liked one of them but she has a friend so wanted me to wingman. I was really high, and didn't really feel like it. I turned it down. It felt awkward as fuck.

Looking back if i wasn't so high, took the opportunity and was more outgoing I would have some new friends in other countrie(s) now which would make me feel overwhelmingly happy that I have made some progress in life.

Reflect on life and remember that "next week" or "soon" might never come, fucking do things and take risks because you never know what you might get out of it.

>I was happy homeless
Then be homeless again. Quit your job, sell everything.

It’s still an option. I’ll invest in my motorcycle and live on the road.

About the girl at Chick-Fil-a:

I dun goofed. I was not going to offer up my number to a HOWEVER, I learned from this mistake and won’t make it again: I should have left my number on the table and just said “after the interview, let me know how it goes. We can meet up here and I’ll even get you an ice cream” (girls like the cheesy uwu QT shit)
If she thought I was harmless she might take me up on it and then network with me because she is a gateway to other IT people that I’d be into.

ALSO, you know she likes this restaurant so she is already going to want to return AND it’s a familiar place so she’ll be comfortable.

Learn from my mistake. If I ever bump into her again I’m plopping my number down, or my FB

Please no one take this 14 year old seriously