How do I know I really like a girl and I’m not just horny...

How do I know I really like a girl and I’m not just horny? Every time I fantasize about dating this cute girl at work I get a boner and feel ashamed for being a stupid horny male. Even if my fantasy is going on a date and holding her hand I still get a boner. I wish I could like girls and not get horny.

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Ok.... this is new.
Holding hands = horny? Maybe you should go to a psychologyst, even tho it might seem awkward talking about boners.
jerk one off and see if you still think about her the same way.

I jerk off every day, and she rarely enters my thoughts because I never talk to her because I’m too shy to do that. But when I’m at work and she’s near me my heart pounds and I feel anxious. She is so pretty and she sometimes sings the songs she is listening to and her voice is so pretty too!

(you)

Talk to her. See if you two have anything in common. Don't be creepy about it tho. You got this bro

I have been her coworker for almost two years and my fear of her presence has only gotten stronger honestly. I’m positive she notices I ignore her (more than my other coworkers lol). How do I start talking to her after literal years of looking at the ground whenever she is near me? I would rather be a scary creeper than a pathetic beta loser desu.

Talk about something like a tv show or say you heard her singing. I have faith in you.

Ok so I’m trying to imagine how we could talk. We are both shelf stockers at Walmart. During work we’re usually doing different things. During lunch she’s usually watching videos on her phone. Sometimes she talks on her phone so much that it sounds like her boyfriend or girlfriend (this is at 2am so that makes this more likely.) There’s no opportunity for me to naturally talk to her without being a creeper. The last time we were forced to work together I was handing her heavy things from above her and she wasn’t strong enough to receive them and she hurt herself and I felt so bad but I was too awkward to tell her we could switch positions so she just gave up so she probably hates me a little now. I feel so pathetic.

If you’re ever working in the vicinity of her just randomly start asking her about herself. Don’t bombard her with questions, go slow and ask basic things like does she take singing lessons, because her voice is nice. Then you can talk about music. Make sure to input things about yourself but to ask her about her. If she asks about you she’s interested

Talk to her during a break/lunch and apologize for what happened last time. You coulda talked to her when you were working together last time. Don't overthink this stuff bro, trust me. You'll find a good opportunity to talk.

Fap and think about if you still want her around

There is a small crew that works third shift with me. They will all wonder what got into me that made me start talking all of a sudden. Starting out with an apology is super pathetic! Talking to one girl specifically will be noticed and judged and that will kill our potential relationship. There is no way to avoid this judgement, right? How can I cope with this?

You gotta not care about what other people think. Who cares about what they think about you talking to her? If you really feel that weird about it talk to them too. It's not pathetic. It shows that you actually felt bad and cared. You don’t have to start with it if you don't want to.

>The last time we were forced to work together I was handing her heavy things from above her and she wasn’t strong enough to receive them and she hurt herself and I felt so bad but I was too awkward to tell her we could switch positions so she just gave up so she probably hates me a little now.
user it sounds like you have to improve yourself a bit before trying to hit a relationship. I'm a big introvert myself but when I see a woman in need there is just some instinct deep inside me that makes me become a gentleman and insist in helping her. It is just hard to imagine a man would throw heavy things at a woman without offering to switch. I'm sure you can easily change your attitude about that, chivalry is in your DNA so long as you are male.

I did have that instinct, but I was afraid of coming off as condescending. In hindsight, that was stupid, but in the moment I felt paralyzed by anxiety and overthinking, like always. I don’t even really want to date her or whatever, I just want to be able to interact with her without spilling my spaghetti. I’m tired of being pathetic and stupid!

Sounds like you should see a therapist and then a psychiatrist for your anxiety. No shame in it OP, it can only help you.

Do you watch movies or anime? Find a charismatic character. Then, next time you are in a social situation, think of something to say, and then imagine that character saying it. Imagine if it would sound awkward, cool or just neutral.
This might sound autistic but it is common for people to base their personalities on fictional characters. At least at the beginning. If you succeed with this antic, it will develop your social side naturally.

Here is an example of a personality you should be aiming for.
youtube.com/watch?v=pTJJpwq33dw

Are you sure I really qualify for that? I don’t feel like a headcase who really needs help.
I’ve yet to see Baccano, but they seem pretty cool. Most of the anime I watch focuses on cute girls, which doesn’t give me much to emulate lol.

Miria is the cutest anime girl ever user. By the way I was joking with that video, Isaac's personality is very over the top, but his mining scene is a good example of how you should realistically behave.
youtube.com/watch?v=4tqPHmlY7gk

jesus christ no, just inspire yourself on other people around you

Everybody and their mother sees a therapist. Completely normal. Its great to have a vent.

this is autistic as fuck and bad advice.

I can see how mimicking anime exactly would be autistic, but I don’t see the problem with taking some cues from confident characters.

Are you a virgin? It's probably hormones little dude, that's not really how you react to someone unless you want to bang.
I wouldn't mix your personal and professional boundaries or this could be awkward for you in the future. It's a bad idea considering you don't know this person.
Don't take that user's advice he's trying to get you to embarrass yourself, it's a copypasta.

The problem is these are caricatures of real people, and not an accurate depiction of how people behave confidently in real life scenarios and attempting to replicate them would lead to you embarrassing yourself when you're already struggling to act like a normal human being.

>How do I know I really like a girl and I’m not just horny?
The answer to this question is that affection and love can be patient. Desire is not.

>Are you a virgin?
Yes. I’ve never even held hands with a girl which is why I fantasize about something so mundane like that. I wish my fantasies could stay non-sexual when I want but my mind always goes to sex. Makes me feel like a sick pervert honestly.
>I wouldn't mix your personal and professional boundaries or this could be awkward for you in the future. It's a bad idea considering you don't know this person.
I don’t understand. What is a bad idea? Talking to her?
>Don't take that user's advice he's trying to get you to embarrass yourself, it's a copypasta.
Damn. I’m really gullible because I assumed everyone on Jow Forums is trying to help and not trolling.

That sounds accurate. Obviously I don’t love this girl I’ve almost never talked to and just desire her, but I wish I could love her if that makes sense. Being this damn horny for girls I don’t love or even know is pretty shameful imo.

I mean you can talk to her, I just don't think it's going to lead anywhere. Go masturbate and hit the hay man you'll feel better in the morning

I’m too upset to masturbate but I should probably sleep, yeah.

That's weird, I feel the same way.

Cheer up pal

Imagine her asking you to do you a favor that will take 3 hours of your day minimum. If you can't picture yourself being there for her then there you go.

>Being this damn horny for girls I don’t love or even know is pretty shameful imo.
Nah.
The sex drive is a helluva thing. Guys can get horny over a few lines of ink if placed properly.
Feeling shame over physical reaction is pointless. Imo, only actions can be shameful, if then.

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