Thoughts on the friendzone

I never thought on this perspective...

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part three

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part four

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part five

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part six

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part seven

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Final part eight

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Nigger I'm not reading all that crap.

Hey OP, I've friend zoned a gal before and it was pretty uncomfortable for both of us, but I didn't feel like she was trying to take advantage of me or "use" me for a relationship. There was no trust broken between us because its 100% normal for people to share their feelings for others.

i only read first 3 pics and i can confirm that whore is mentally disabled

Too long
Didnt read

>>TL;DR girl cucks guys, then gets cucked herself because lesbian. says to guys all their fault...

uhh no missy it doesnt work that way. you lead them on, then they found out the hard way you is lesbian.

>damnit the one girl i really want to pound into a mattress and shes only interested in chicks

No one talks like this lol

fake as fuck

Being "friendzoned" is not a bad thing. Back in high school I fell had for my best friend, she was amazing, smart ,funny, pretty all that, but she didn't love me that way. I told her how I felt, she told me how she felt, we moved on. We haven't really talked in a little over a year, but after that conversation where I confessed my feelings we were still best friends for 2 or 3 years. Eventually she went to college and I went to work and we drifted apart. She has a boyfriend, I have a girlfriend, life goes on. Im not upset that she didn't love me back that way, because she loved me in a better way. Eventually I found a girl who did love me that way, and I friendzoned her for a long time too. Eventually we went out and one thing led to another and we were together. I still think about that girl from high school who I loved deeply from time to time, but not bitterly, I miss her. I wish we still had time for each other, but we aren't the same people we were a few years ago. Maybe I'll see if she wants to catch up sometime, because she was my friend, and maybe we can be friends again. I'm drunk and it's 2am. I got off track. Main message, TLDR, whatever: it's okay to love a girl as a friend because some day you'll find someone who loves you as a lover and you love them bye

What the fuck is this real?
This chick's friendzone'd more people than I've ever befriended in my entire fucking life.

Do you really expect me to read all that shit from tumblr?

The friendzone exists for this reason: guys act more nice to girls they like. So when a girl is nice back they take it as the girl likewise being interested, even though the girl might just be friendly. How many of us guys have thought a girl likes us because she's our friend?

When it happens that many times it's mostly her fault for being too retarded to pick up the tell tale signs a guy is interested in her and going along with it

The girl usually knows, she just hopes HE picks up on the ques that she's not interested.

being friendzoned is not a bad thing. let me prove it by giving you an example of how i allowed unreciprocated romantic feelings to rule my emotional reality for years after. let me tell you how i continue to allow someone who hasn't thought about me in years to take up enough real estate in my brain to make me drunkenly post about them on Jow Forums whenever someone brings up the simple idea of the friendzone.

also, i need to put friendzone in quotes because i can't admit it was a negative experience for me, and one that i refuse to grow or move on from.

It happened like 15 times to that girl, maybe that would be a sign to take a step back and reflect on her behaviour in those situations

This. The friendzone exists, exclusively, to people who leverage their kindness to get specific results.

That post is long and too much about herself, I think this picture sums it up well

Personally if a dude wants to date me and I reject him, I don't want to be friends with him anymore either, because the vast majority won't get over it easily and us being "friends" just gives them false hope

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The pic says "I was nice to him because I felt bad for him" but the girls story tells "I was nice to him because I loved the attention"

How did you parse that, exactly?

I don't get why you guys act like this and then are shocked that girls absolutely fucken hate it, lol

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Act like what

personally i gave up on any guy as a friend in 6th grade. soon as i started to get boobs it was over. young or old the only reason a man interacts with a female privately and personally is in sexual anticipation. guys think an interaction, a conversation with me is nothing more than a sexual negotiation

If you have big boobs and flaunt them then yes it will be hard for guys to be just friends.

>someone wants to be in a relationship with you
>you don't want it
Then just don't be in a relationship of any sort. You're not being "nice" by stringing him along by pretending you're friends. You're being spineless at best and manipulative at worst.

and that is my fault? i mature therefore i am dinner? i have boobs therefore i flaunt?

fuck roasties who 'want friends who are boys' but in reality just crave attention. Women are attention seeking whores and that's the reason there's this thing called friendzone. Also weak af men. Kyle had the balls to leave that whore out of his life.

>stringing him along by pretending you're friends
how about men stop pretending to be friends to get sex, thats manipulation don't you think

I agree with that, but also men need to stop being stupid as well. You don't have to be friends with her after she rejects you. Men put themselves in the friendzone

Well do you have big boobs? And wear revealing clothing?

I'm not saying that men in that situation are completely innocent. But people who are in love are vulnerable and hopeful. You don't get act the victim because someone took you up on your bullshit consolation prize offer. Just don't make the offer in the first place.

this started soon as i began puberty and i flaunted nothing asshole

What offer? Is me being a decent human to a guy an offer for sex in his eyes? Do I need to be a bitch and outright ignore every man?

Look, if you're not interested in maintaining a relationship with someone, platonic or otherwise, you don't maintain that relationship. You're not being a bitch by saying you aren't interested.

>But people who are in love are vulnerable and hopeful
you guys aren't in love but lust and pretending to be a friend is a tactic to get close to your intended victim

i agree with you men think we are nothing more than an object for their pleasure

I think it's more of a call for directness. Lots of people do this. They're afraid of "ripping the band-aid" as it were and just ending things quickly. They'd rather take the way that seems less "rude" and instead give false hope.

Not just women, not just relationships. I think it's something people as a whole just need to learn in their lives. Directness wastes less time and causes less pain in the long run.

You know it doesn't help to be so bitter, that only makes people think of you as nothing but boobs, if you have no other qualities.

it doesn't help when you assume because i have boobs that i purposefully flaunt them and tease and deserve to be disrespected

There are different types of friendzones. There are shithead guys out there who are too beta to come out with their honest intentions and instead choose to pretend to be interested in a friendship, hoping it will one day let them get into the girl's pants. They're slime.
But then there are guys who outright state their intentions, but the girl goes
>oh, you're a great guy but I'm in a dark place/need to be alone for a while/not ready for a relationship/not good enough for you. But you're such an amazing, wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, stunning person, and I'd hate to lose you. want to be friends?
Here the girl is unintentionally being a cunt. She wants to spare the guy's feelings by lying to him, but instead she's just prolonging his discomfort while also roping herself into a situation she doesn't want to be in.

Now you're just projecting. You really do not sound like a pleasant person. I'm guessing you don't have many friends.

The issue is when I out right state I'm not interested and they still keep trying. Or worse is when they won't outright admit they're interested but they keep texting me and then I feel like I can't cut him off or I'll be a bitch, so I don't reply for hours and never initiate conversation and they still don't get it...

Yes the dudes are pathetic orbiters, but the chick also explicitly said she liked the attention and maybe should have learned something about how eager nerdy guys are to like a girl after the first five or so and done more to draw a clear line they shouldn't cross. Spell it out that they're just friends because apparently it wasn't obvious.

I can't say I'd ever really been friendzoned until this year. In 99% of cases, when a girl "just wants to be friends", it is a polite rejection and nothing more. I'm usually not really friends with women that reject me and I don't hang around to be their friend, and normally when I tried I realized we had fundamental incompatibilities as friends (which is probably why dating wasn't going to work, either). The one and only exception was from earlier this year where I actually saw (and still do, despite some issues lately) see her as a genuine person and an actual good friend. She randomly decided she might want to try dating me, acted super interested in me, and then out of the blue just pulled it all away, while essentially blaming the entire situation on me for "making it awkward" and somebody else for "pressuring her to date me" (her unwillingness to own up to her participation in all this is concerning, and disappointing, honestly).

To the OP story: women need to quit being fucking idiots and trying to force "male friendships", idealizing them with some romantic notion that "men are easier to talk to" or whatever bullshit they've conjured up surrounding it. I've been noticing this broader trend where people have issues relating to whatever sex they're attracted to. It's why many women have mostly women friends, or gay guy friends, but hardly ever actual guy best friends. Let's be honest here: unless you're a fucking lesbian, in the vast majority of cases there's no good reason not to date somebody you have a strong foundation of friendship with.

Honestly though, most women - most people I guess - are terrible friends. They just treat you like some avatar they can call up when they're bored or feeling down and need somebody to talk to. A lot of them won't really take initiative or make time to see you when some guy they wanna fuck is asking them to hang out. Yeah, some great fuckin friendship that is.

>I can't cut him off or I'll be a bitch


How is being a bitch < wasting both of your time?

Block them. If you clearly stated your intentions, their feelings are no longer your problem. If you feel like it's gotten to the point of harassment or stalking, talk to the authorities. Also, you're allowed to say no to offers of friendship as well. You're not being a bitch by not wanting to give out your time to people who don't interest you.

Cut them off. It's for their own good if you've already made it explicitly clear.

>they keep texting me
I have this one female friend I've tried to text and reach out to, and she responds less than half the time. I find it particularly odd because she kept saying we were best friends, and I'm here thinking I'm just being a good friend by asking how her day is, or if there's anything I could do for her if she's having a shitty day. I always kind of suspected she was trying to sort of fade me out, but I would give the benefit of the doubt and assume her depression etc. is the real reason and all I can do is be there for her as a friend. Just a friend. Zero romantic tones here - I can see why she's interpret it this way but I really am just trying to be a good friend. When she acts like this, it actually kind of sucks, because here I am thinking I found an actual decent friend but oh, she feels the need to put up this small fence to make me realize she's "not interested", or she's just straight up not interested in being my friend. Who knows.

I wouldn't blame her for that. The fence has probably proven necessary in the past. How would she really know that you're the one that's actually platonic?

Because I never hit on her and we already had a talk about it and said we were just friends.

But even a few other people who know us have stated they think she is leading me on which is strange. Up until a couple of weeks ago I never got the impression she wanted more than friendship and I accepted this, but then she began to act flirtatious and outright stated she was thinking about dating me. We even went on when date and planned another, but then she changed her mind and decided she didn't want to, which is fine, but that was when I started to see why people thought she could be jerking me around.

Also like I said, if someone is going to say you are their best friend, but then just ignore you half the time and never want to hang out, it's kind of strange by itself.

Then maybe she's trying to keep you at arm's length because she caught some feels and she's got the typical girl problems where she finds excuses (I'm not ready, I don't deserve him etc) to not date the nice guy. Sounds like you should try to keep some distance too at least for a couple months.

Not really.

You're over thinking it. Guy likes girl. He thinks she is special. To let her know, he treats her like she is special. It's that simple. The Male doesnt see it as a trade. He's just following his feelings.

It's about validation. Men put this validation out their and often dont get much back. This causes low self esteem which leads to unhappiness which leads to tantrums and showing your butt.

I guess you could argue that wanting to be validated is wanting something in return but I would argue that is an over simplification and most of what both genders boils down to selfishness and trade if you want to over simplify.

The "just relationship" part is what bothers me. Do women consider the relationships they have with boy friends and husbands to be inferior to their friendships? Do they love them less? If not, then why take insult?

Some of these guys loved her. Sure, some of them were probably pretending just so they could hit it. But some of them loved her and wanted to be loved by her.

Life is short and stupid. Love is a gift. I dont know why women shit on it with thoughts like this. Somebody wants to share their whole life with you and you get butthurt because you deeply love them and not just like them.

Sure, women have a right to their bodies. They dont have to kiss or fuck anyone.

The joke is the guy has probably never seen ques that do show interest so he has nothing for comparison. He has no idea what a green or red light in dating looks like.

>The "just relationship" part is what bothers me. Do women consider the relationships they have with boy friends and husbands to be inferior to their friendships? Do they love them less? If not, then why take insult?

Fun fact: the reason we refer to friendships as Platonic Love is because Plato himself saw friendship as the highest form of love. He, and many others in a distant past, saw romantic love as a disease of the mind. Romance as we know it is actually a fairly new concept in human history, and our ideas about it, like that it comes sweeping in from out of nowhere, prove disastrous. Put simply, when you meet someone once or twice and feel incredibly strongly about them, it's usually just a mix of physical attraction and some resonance your inner emotional child has with someone that reminds you of a primary caretaker or maybe even a former lover. The problem is when those people who affected how we approach relationships didn't do wonders for our emotional maps, and they often don't.

When i think about it, my past girlfriends and dates have mostly been pretty shitty. Never really had a woman give me her all. She just expected me to meet a bunch of undisclosed emotional and physical needs, as if it's something I owed her, and pitch a fucking fit when I wasn't the perfect man that she thought the world owed her. It's all about her and how she felt, pretty much all the time. It's insane. I'm not her to be a human dildo that listens to your problems, and I don't expect you to be a walking, talking fleshlight that cooks me dinner or some shit either.

It is not your fault but it is your responsibility.

Look at it this way. There are crazy people born everyday. They grow up and beat their kids and spouse. Who is at fault? The person who beats their kids from a mental defect? Or their parents who birthed them?

Ok. But who's responsibility is it to deal with the illness and not beat their loved ones?

You didn't ask for the tits but they are yours. You are responsible for them.

And have higher self esteem. Have boundaries. Be pickier with guys. Just because a guy first notices your boobs doesnt mean he wont come to love you for you. This doesnt have to be either or, some sort of weird tit binary.

>Just because a guy first notices your boobs doesnt mean he wont come to love you for you. This doesnt have to be either or, some sort of weird tit binary.

Well said. I don't see why women get butthurt about guys finding them attractive, as if they don't get aroused by a guy's height, or muscles, or facial features, whatever.

I have a female friend married to this really buff marine guy. He's pretty horrible. He doesnt care about their baby. He stone walls her. She used to be this sweet charming girl and now she has panic attacks and a lot of that is coming from the stone walling.

Women confuse me. I'm mystified by what exactly it is they want from lovers. It doesnt appear they want a friend that they want to fuck. The best I can tell, they solely want someone to fuck, protect them, earn money and perform labor for them, etc but friendship and love is optional. Maybe even considered weakness.

>Do women consider the relationships they have with boy friends and husbands to be inferior to their friendships? Do they love them less? If not, then why take insult?

Women care a lot about sex. They accuse men of only wanting them for sex because they're projecting their own priorities. I think it's obvious enough when a guy says he really likes her and wants to date her and be a couple, and all she hears is "so he wants to fuck me?". I even saw a thread on facebook where a bunch of women complained about a hypothetical situation in which a man invites a girl over and they just hang out, cuddle and talk about life without having sex. They were fucking livid about the notion of going to a dude's place and not fucking him.

They'll never admit this, but much of the time you're right. It's usually daddy issues among other things. You can even sort of see why they won't want to "ruin the friendship" by dating a guy who's a really good friend (aka somebody that actually cares about them). To them love is war, friendship is peace - they only know and feel "comfortable" in a relationship with a "red pill" toxic masculinity type.

Yeah, but many women are shitty friends. For all their complaining, they aren't reciprocating the behavior of the men.

Like this girl in the images. Did she play guitar for this guy? Did she write poems?

Why does she feel entitled to this behavior without reciprocation?

I have 1 female friend that puts in what she gets. 1. One that would do anything for me. So if I asked her out one day and she shut me down I would accept it.

But i have known many girls that will eat all this shit up...then nothing. They dont call. They dont check on you. They dont send texts or cards on birthdays.

Why ask to be just friends? You're a shit friend.

That's the elephant in the room I think. Women want to be friends but many of them are no good at it.

>Women care a lot about sex. They accuse men of only wanting them for sex because they're projecting their own priorities. I think it's obvious enough when a guy says he really likes her and wants to date her and be a couple, and all she hears is "so he wants to fuck me?". I even saw a thread on facebook where a bunch of women complained about a hypothetical situation in which a man invites a girl over and they just hang out, cuddle and talk about life without having sex. They were fucking livid about the notion of going to a dude's place and not fucking him.

Giving and receiving orgasims seems like a stupid reason to have children with someone and live with them everyday.

I guess it takes a divorce and a kid to figure that out.

Women like this aren't thinking in this kind of long term. They're not thinking about kids or marriage. Those things are just happy byproducts of some super hot guy they have a lot of hot passionate sex with. It's weird to me too, because I see it the other way around: I see sex as a positive consequence of a romantic relationship, but not the entire reason for being in it.

I have a feeling that if someone was to study what the genders thought and wrote 500 years ago about love, it would actually only apply to the gender that wrote it. Like women used to say the way to a man's heart is his stomach, but women have a greater bonding experience over food than men do. Perhaps because adult women have a better sense of smell which impacts the flavor of food.

And much of this shit men have written about love is actually how men feel and not women.

I suspect women are actually far less romantic than men. They are more likely to segment and compartmentalize their relationships than men. An ancient man would want a well rounded hunting partner. Men that could perform all hunting roles. But a woman could afford to have specialized friends. One that was good at skinning animals. Another at making poles for tents. Another for making clothes. Oh and another to fuck, her so.

This probably decreases as she ages and she produces less estrogen. This is probably also why she divorces and marries a beta as the web calls it. As her estrogen decreases she starts to appreciate a companion that fills more than one need.

Its frustrating but we might have been lied to. The princess of the story might actually be the least romantic and it is the poor prince and the mistreated queen that truly long for love and friendship. Much different than the stories sold to us as children.


oh because i call guys out for objectifying me im not pleasant nor have friends, basically a bitch, right?

we can win. we'll be a bitch or worse to any guy we don't choose. like, i started dating a guy in 10th grade and someone wrote slut on my locker

That's what it sounds like. Instead of "that nice pleasant girl" you are probably known as "that bitch with the big tits".

so you are admitting men have no interest friendship with a female? like we have sex with you or nothing? no surprise frankly

It's a little more complicated than this. How are you honest with them? Are you going off on them? Are you kink or slut shaming them for thinking you look nice? Do you even give them enough time to see if they like you for things other than your tits?

What do you find attractive in a so? Would you want them to go off on you for this? Shame you? Not be given the chance to like them for more than just those things?

Are you treating others how you want to be treated?

in your world the kids and spouse are responsible not the abuser. like i never heard that before.

im not attracted to every tall, muscular or handsome guy nor want them. for men you see boobs and you decide she's yours without knowing anything more about them

oh brother, daddy issues again, what about mommie issues most of you have

You're acting out and being stupid. The quoted post clearly states that the abuse is the responsibility of the person doing the abusing.

Are you a larping 14 year old dude? Is this a false flag? Surely no one is this stupid.

You dont know that they like all the big boobs. They might like just yours because you have other wonderful qualities to go with them.

I'm sorry for whatever person hurt you, but you're being a silly ass.

im only that bitch with bit tits to the guys that want but cannot have

seriously try to see this from my perspective. early puberty guys would comment about my boobs right in front of me. like i wasn't there

and as an adult, educated with a good career start I can't have a conversation with a guy without his eyes constantly darting down at my boobs and then stumbling, not remembering what he was talking about

Have you ever had a boyfriend?

they even tried to blame the behavior on mental illness and surprised they didn't blame the abuse of the children on the mom for dads behavior. heard that one too

not right now but yes. but that should not matter but i see where you are going. im that bitch with big boobs no way she would ever have a bf

Thank you

well i know its not the boobs it was just what started it all with puberty. i have an above average overall appearance but very few guys ever try to get past that

Well yes, mental illness makes people do bad things sometimes. But that mental illness is the responsibility of the person with it.

What is hard about this?

This is most people with most things.

Do you know how many dates I go on as a male where the girl doesnt ask me nearly as many questions as I ask her?

You're so hyper focused on how men treat you that you ignore how men and women around you treat each other.

Was curious if you have ever trusted a guy enough or if you think they only want you for your boobs.

i have, he was the older brother of one of my friends and i crushed on him as long as i can remember. he just has a job that took him out of the country, like 8,000 miles away, away so we had to end it sadly

well if you are asking questions about her you are doing the right thing, ill give you credit for that

"Admitting"? Men tell women constantly, over and over again, that the idea of friendships with women is nonsense. It's nonsense because you're not interesting. If you were a man, you would be a vacuous, boring, judgemental man.
If we were not compelled against reason by our sex drive to spend time with women, we would want nothing to do with you.

>I think it's obvious enough when a guy says he really likes her and wants to date her and be a couple, and all she hears is "so he wants to fuck me?".
Shout it from the fucking mountaintops, brother.

If you think the "become friends first" approach will get you anywhere, you are retarded.
Plain and simple.
When you meet a girl you are attracted to, from the very first moment, you need to establish that this is a "man to woman" type deal, not just being friendly and nice.
There needs to be some sexual tension, flirt subtly (or not so subtly depending on her reaction).

Big part of this: Don't be so desperate that you immediately want to fuck every woman you meet.
Wait till you meet someone you have actual chemistry with.

Guys who get friendzoned are most of the time just to cowardly to be sexual with girls and unable to move on if their "target" is not receptive.

Then they complain about being "led on".
You never made any move, big or small, dipshit.
Is she supposed to preemptively shoot you down?
You were to cowardly to make your intentions clear and tried to weasel your way into her pants (which almost never works).
You were not led on, you just assumed interest where there was none.

tl;dr: Don't be a thirsty piece of shit, be sexual with women when appropriate (not your office), escalate as long as she is receptive for it, stop when she isn't. Don't try to be friends when you want to be lovers. It's cowardly and dishonest. Two VERY unattractive traits.

It's not that hard guys.

blah blah blah just follow the undefined indescribable unspoken social ruleset that you're supposed to intuitively understand yeah great we've heard it a billion trillion times before

>Every single successful man has seen women as a possible partner and not as a friend
>meanwhile this woman thinks she's a decent human being to string a man along who's obviously only interested in her being his partner and keep him as a friend
jesus why do women do this...

Cant speak for others but I didn't know that in high school. I foolishly thought that if you thought a girl was special, treat her like she is special and she will start to think you are special.

how exploitative and cowardly and entitled of you

Yeah well welcome to reality.
If you are attractive, any guy you meet will initially want to fuck you.
They may not act on it, they may not say anything, but they would and they thought about it.
Guys and girls can not really be friends like that.

On the flipside, girls don't seem to understand this in many cases, cause their sexual selection works differently (just like men very often don't understand female sexual selection).
Men and women can't be friends. They can be coworkers or acquaintances but completely platonic relationships between two people of similiar sexual circumstances are so rare, they might as well be non existant.

>But I know this guy...
He wants to fuck you.

>But I know this girl...
You are kidding yourself. You want to fuck her.
Imagine her laying in bed next to you naked, begging you to put your dick into her wet cunt.
I'm sure you wouldn't do it, right.

All this is ofc assuming the girl is at least somewhat attractive.
Men can be friends with ugly and old women quite easily.

I'm sorry reality doesn't cater to your pussy whipped beta fantasy.