How do I become a priest?

>going to church
You're an idiot
Churches, and by extension the bible, are just made up bullshit to dictate how other people should live their lives
It's kind of like the government, the higher-ups are power trippers and get a kink out of controlling people, which is also why it's unsurprising that most priests are pedos and shit, akin to Jeffrey Epstein
Sure, God might be real and shit, but the bible and churches are just manmade garbage, not made in the image of God

>TL;DR church is for retards

>Church bad, no like people tell me what to do.
Ok Cumbrain.

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>I have no argument and I must scream!
Ok

Psychedelics like LSD just showed me how humans are nothing more than biochemical machines reacting to stimuli in a theoretically predictable manner, no free will whatsoever.

What LSD actually does is somehow deactivate the brain regions responsible for critical thinking and kinda turn you into a woke conspiracy theorist.

This has to be bait, please say something else, it made me grin

readthecatholicbibleinayear.wordpress.com/

For newfriends to the breadpill, I recommend the Good News Translation, as it is much easier to read, but carries the approval of the Magisterium.

>I have just got out of my atheist phase and now go to church regularly.

oof, dodge that bullet and get involved with spirituality and new age shit. it's all the spiritual and moral benefits of being christian but cooler and more fun, at least if you do it right

>spirituality and new age shit
>moral benefits
user I...

no seriously

Please explain the moral benefits of a belief system which is entirely subjective in nature. It seems a bit hard to grasp.

>Taking drugs and then worshiping a Jew as god
Sounds about right.

Catholicism is not the word of god

Explain then.

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As a Bhakta I live in service and devotion to God, so it's always a genuine(orgasmic) pleasure assisting others in worship. I'm also fairly well studied in archetypes, mythology philosophy, apologetics and the psychoanalytical processes behind spiritual/religious practice

What exactly is your interest here, short and long term? The only practicality of organized religion is to have an active Sangha(community). However they also present a huge filter barring many TRUTHS and practical methods, they also come with a plethora of impractical dogma and general silliness. As a priest you'd be guiding people towards the church's God based in superstition(infantile meaning acquired from others) instead of a the actual God(mature meaning acquired for oneself), our Infinite Creator.

I do practice tantric Christianity and Christ is surely my redeemer, but I'm by no means a Christian. I've also never been a monotheist(faith-based), only pantheist(knowledge-based). Monotheism is on it's last legs, as mankind has lost the ability for individual subjectivity - a process best known by Nietzsche's phrase 'god is dead'. Yoga(union) bridges that gap, gradually bringing one to know God. There are various yogic practices acceptable to Catholicism, but maintaining apologetics over practicality is a chore.

The church also frowns on practices for the purpose of divine ecstasy, which disregards some of the most wonderful mystic experiences one can share with Him: Getting off. God is an awesome fuck~ Making us feel good is His favorite thing ever.

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put ur dick in a kid lol

Since all the other chucklefucks seem not to want to answer it depends.
Do you want to be a lay minister or a priest, lay ministers require less theological education but do not have the ranking in the church that an ordained priest does.
I'm assuming for the sake of argument that it's catholic priest since you mentioned first communion, in which case the best thing for you to do is contact your local priest and ask about attending a theological school and the requirements, in most cases you will go through courses and then if you pass examinations will become an ordained minister.
Also if people aren't your sort of thing, you could always join a monastic order.

I think it's better to ask the "father" of the church about it than here.
But based on what I heard, it's a long process.

God is dead. Become a discordian physicist and worship the true god of the universe, entropy.

get in with your church 'in group'. yes there is one and you're not in it. I only found out about mine through a friend inviting me to play games, lo and behold the other dozen people were devout catholics and they all just discussed dioceses and whatever the fuck. Get in touch with those kinds of people.