How the fuck do I meet woman in my current situation? 21, not in university, living at home in a town of 150k where everybody either sits in their cars or goes to work. There's zero public places where people just hang out. Even then cold approaching people in the USa is seen as odd as I've been to many countries with different cultures and have seen the difference. Meetup groups are full of old people or only men, and my hobbies of painting and sculpting is very solitary. I have zero problems talking to people my issue is literally just getting into a situation where that's expected and acceptable. I've had some succuss from tinder but the whole thing weirds me out so I stopped. Are my only options bars/clubs or moving someplace else? Anybody else been in this situation?
How the fuck do I meet woman in my current situation? 21, not in university...
>I've had some succuss from tinder but the whole thing weirds me out so I stopped.
well that makes sense, get what you're looking for but then go "ew this is weird I think" and then shitcan the whole thing. excellent plan.
When I say I had "success" I got a good amount of matches and conversations but I would end it before it moved irl. This was out of pure desperation because I don't like online dating at all, it's souless and represents everything I despise about the contemporary world. The whole idea of it feels inherently wrong to me, I enjoy spontaneous interactions and connections in the real world, it's what I believe is the basis of romantic infactuation that humans have. Online dating takes this all away. If tinder is the only option nowadays I'll accept my loneliness
are you on the spectrum?
Why do you say that? I have no problems with girls once I get an opportunity to meet and talk with them, it only seems like finding that opportunity is getting harder and harder since I'm not in university
don't be afraid of daygame bro its fantastic once you get the rhythm down
Well, if you don't go any places where people are it's not wonder you don't meet people. And only solitary hobbies don't cut it. Everyone has one or two of these but not every activity should be one. Don't you like to be around people in general or what is your reason you don't have any socialable hobby?
You have any tips? My problem isn't being scared of the person I approach judging me, it's the opinions of everybody else listening in that makes me pussy out. I don't want to be center stage in a room full of everybody minding their business. In other countries I've been just talking to people on the street is more normal but as soon as I come back there is something in the air that kills my confidence, as of the vibe that radiates from people pushes me away
The only sociable hobbies I can think of myself doing are full of 99% men, like sailing and car racing. The ones I do like that have woman like reading and art consists of mostly middle aged and older where I live. I'm thinking my only option is to just move. do you have any good suggestions on what I should be looking for when it comes to hobbies?
Okay there 21 year old grandpa, keep posting on Jow Forums and talk about how the internet is bad and you prefer the real world.
I'm in my 30s and grew up without the internet, it fucking sucked back then. Why would you limit yourself?
Plus, you meet these girls IRL and you get to have your real world magic moments and spontaneous interactions and you get to like hold her hand run in the rain and laugh - online dating isn't dating via the internet.
Starting a hobby only to meet people is a bad idea. People will pick up you aren't interested in the activity and quickly perceive you as "desperate".
Try to think of some activities that might be more mixed. The art scene usually has segments that cater to younger people too, charity work is often majority female, sport clubs... The trick is to expand your social circle. Even if you don't meet the girl of your dreams rightaway you will meet new people who in turn might have a more mixed circle of friends. If you get to know them they might invite you to a party with a mixed crowd and there you in turn might meet new people. It works like a snow ball system.
ywah you just have to not give a fuck. For example you see a girl in a grocery store, introduce yourself and try to make a comment that relates to the environment. Most likely there won't be a crowd of people listening in or anything. See how she reacts and if she gives you IOIs. If she does, go for the number and the hangout
Not OP but openers are tough, everything after is easy but limited by the opener in a way.
I'm nofapping atm too, so its really hard not to be a thirsty bastard.
You're misunderstanding what I said, I never said "internet is bad" only that I don't like using it as a tool to meet people romantically. Finding people with a specific interest to meet up with is fine because it serves as an easy way to link up as the means of communication doesn't hinder the end goal of that relationship, something I don't agree fits into an intimate relationship. The means of discovering and meeting up through the internet in that situation kills half the draw of romance turning it into just another product bought and sold through the screen. I believe unconsciously people begin to to view the relationship as disposable through this medium. Also, as a guy I usually only match with woman one or two points below me interns a looks while in real life I can hit much higher. But again it seems like in my situation online is my only option other than moving
yeah its tough for most people at first. If you're fit and act confident tho she'll find it cute most likely. As long as you don't sound like a retard it should work. Most guys aren't shakespeare.
>I don't like using it as a tool to meet people romantically
what does it matter if you're meeting people online or through a newspaper ad about a singles meet-up or something that isn't the internet
>What does it matter
I literally just explained in my previous post why it matters. And those other examples you gave me also fits into what I said about online dating but the scale of those is so miniscule compared to stuff like tinder the negatives aren't that large. If I am going to a place overtly set up to meet a woman I might as well skip all the bullshit and get arranged by my family in the old days. At least then the real point of the relationship wasn't so vague it could be easily ignored and subverted. But none of this matters, you seem to be saying online is my only option and that fucking sucks
>I literally just explained in my previous post why it matters
I guess I had to ask again because it made absolutely 0 sense to me that you think that talking to a girl online for a while and then eventually meeting up to have coffee or go to the movies like you would regardless of meeting them first oneline is what "kills romance and turns it into just another disposable product to be bought and sold"
I think you're over-reacting quite a bit, like take it easy with the punk rock mentality it's completely misguided.
Thanks, I'm going to volunteer at an animal shelter I really like cats and dogs so even if I don't meet anybody it'll be worth it. Maybe I can try forming an under 30 or 25 book club and see if that pans out. Meeting some guys into literature would be cool too
If you look animals this a good idea. You are doing a good thing and worst thing is you make some friends. But friends (especially female friends) in turn know other people who might invite you to stuff. The more social people in computer science find their gf that way.
Starting a book club aimed at under 30 audience is a good idea too. I used to study literature and my city was full of this things. There were many poet readings, poetry slams and this sort of thing too.
I made point as simple as possible to understand but I guess it doesn't matter, I guess we'll agree to disagree. I just think you severely underestimate how the initial catalyst of a relationship can affect how it's viewed by the people in it and how it turns out over time. But besides all that, I simply get better quality woman irl as a guy than online and I don't think that's a controversial statement at all nowadays. It's brutal out there for dudes on tinder and the likes. I'm definitely in a better place than most but I still see the differences in my own life