Jow Forums please advise me, I need to make up my mind within the next hours
A while back I started dating this girl but a week ago she traveled to the other side of the globe. She will stay there for 4 months, and I need to decide whether I should try to keep things alive during that time or if we should officially take a break while we are apart
Pros of STAYING TOGETHER >She is wonderful and we get along very well >She is deeply in love with me >She is quite hot >Chance she would cheat on me is close to non-existent >She actively want us to stay together >I might have more time to focus on my hobbies
Pros of TAKING A BREAK >I get to see other people and maybe enjoy the single life for once (and maybe for the last time) >I can try to ask out girls I always wanted to try >No chance time apart will ruin what we had >Very good chances we can get together when she gets back >I'm very likable, so good chances I can find someone else if it backfires >My life-time dream is to move to another country, which means we would eventually split up anyways >Our time difference is 12+ hours, so I'm afraid that will further drive us apart
Please do share your thoughts about this, because I'm completely clueless but I definitely have to make up my mind about this TONIGHT. Also, please feel free to ask any questions or share any similar experiences
huh i'm kinda going through the same except I don't have a social life so taking a break is meaningless so we just talk about all the new shit she's seeing while i sit at home :/
but yeah, take a break
Isaac Ross
>except I don't have a social life so taking a break is meaningless I don't really have that much social life either, I work from home and the only recurrent social interaction I have is my tabletop gamer group full of dudes. Basically my solely way to meet other people is using some dating app or something like that (in fact, I met the girl I'm currently with on an app like that)
>we just talk about all the new shit she's seeing while i sit at home :/ Same, though i'm very good at talking about myself even if I have done nothing new. Helps the fact I can tell literally anything to her, even if it is something really silly/nerd/cringy
>but yeah, take a break What reasons would you say that make you think that is the best move? I often like to hear what people have to say about stuff when it comes to reasons why should do something
Isaac Moore
Break
Benjamin Price
Bumpty bump because I'm a desperate fuck
Joshua Mitchell
>What reasons because if you "stay together" you're gonna be thinking about her for 4 months while she experiences new shit, it's unhealthy as fuck
Noah Lewis
>She is quite hot >Chance she would cheat on me is close to non-existent How is it close to non-existent?
Isaac King
>I get to see other people and maybe enjoy the single life for once (and maybe for the last time) >I can try to ask out girls I always wanted to try
You are aware that she will be doing this as well right? And being a woman she could have 10x more than you.
Christian Roberts
>because if you "stay together" you're gonna be thinking about her for 4 months while she experiences new shit, it's unhealthy as fuck Well, to be fair, I hate new shit anyway. I hate travelling, and I like my routine. Not sure if that part is really much of a problem for me
>How is it close to non-existent? She is ultra sincere/honest, even brutally so. I don't think she could keep a secret even if she wanted to, specially something like that. I think the chance of it actually happening is not that remote, but she would come clean to me about it afterwards for sure
Also, she is not universally hot, she is just totally my type
>You are aware that she will be doing this as well right? Yeah, unfortunately that is how life is. That is definitely something I ponder and take in consideration, but ultimately my solution is to simply not think about it
>And being a woman she could have 10x more than you Not sure, actually. She is a bit busy with the stuff there, having classes and looking for a job. She is also very short on cash which makes it harder to go out, and she is not really looking for other people as much as I would be. We have talked about this and she said she wouldn't really be looking for people (though it goes without saying that if we are not together it is possible that something happens)
Currently I'm on a good spot regarding this, because I have a reasonably lot of money, a car and my own place, plus a little bit of flexibility in my life (my only real commitment is work, but I can go out and get back late at night ultra smashed and still make it through the day)
Though it is not really a competition
Carson Kelly
then why even make this thread you clearly want to stay in a useless ldr
Landon Ross
>I don't think she could keep a secret even if she wanted to, specially something like that. You'd be surprised the secrets women can keep from their husbands and boyfriends.
>Also, she is not universally hot, she is just totally my type I don't think you're being honest with yourself judging how you're shifting. You also have to realize that women have a lot more opportunity than men, even if she's not hot.
>Yeah, unfortunately that is how life is. That is definitely something I ponder and take in consideration, but ultimately my solution is to simply not think about it That's a little more honesty, but you're still not facing this. She will, at a minimum, have offers while you're away and you won't know due to the distance.
>She is also very short on cash which makes it harder to go out, and she is not really looking for other people as much as I would be. Actually, that may be a motivation for her to go out more. Women do go out with men simply to have free dinners. A lot of women actually admit to doing foodie calls. So keep that in mind.
>Currently I'm on a good spot regarding this, because I have a reasonably lot of money, a car and my own place, plus a little bit of flexibility in my life (my only real commitment is work, but I can go out and get back late at night ultra smashed and still make it through the day) If you have cash, you might want to consider surprising her. Just realize you may discover something you'd rather not when you show up.
Connor Butler
jus cheat on her lol
Cameron White
>you clearly want to stay in a useless ldr I'm honestly very divided about it. At the same time I really like her and she really likes me, I wonder if I shouldn't enjoy this time more freely instead of being together far away
I actually installed a dating app and started talking to some girls, but then I accidentally found some pics of us and she looks so good. It is a tough choice. Both options have their pros, but also some risks
>You'd be surprised the secrets women can keep from their husbands and boyfriends I'm very aware. But it is really not something she would do, she is really not good at lying or pretending. It is not even about how much she likes me, "she would never do that to me" or anything like that. It is just that she is completely transparent. I know that since the first time I met her, because the faces she makes are so obvious
>She will, at a minimum, have offers while you're away and you won't know due to the distance If we are together, I'm really not worried about it. If we are apart, it would no longer be my place to be worried about that
>Women do go out with men simply to have free dinners I find it hard to believe we would do that. Where we come from that is REALLY not a thing (though I think it is where she is right now), and a lot of women here are very hardcore about it, she being one of those. Even after we were together for quite some time and I knew she was currently having some money problems, she would completely refused to let me pay for her stuff even the times I tried to offer
>If you have cash, you might want to consider surprising her I hate travelling and I hate visiting people. I rather sit down and wait 4 months than bother to go over there (or to anywhere, really)
>jus cheat on her lol Not really an option to me. I praise honesty to others and to myself above all. I have no issue in breaking up because I want to see other people, but I wouldn't do it behind her back
Jack Scott
>I find it hard to believe we would do that. Huh? Are you a woman? Regardless, it sounds like this relationship is doomed.
Jason Torres
>Huh? Are you a woman? No, just not native english speaker, so my mind bugs sometime. The point is that women here often are against that, and I know she for a fact is completely against doing something like that. This actually goes both ways - I for instance would refuse to pay for a girl on a date
>Regardless, it sounds like this relationship is doomed Why is so? In fact the only thing dooming it right now is that part of me feel like maybe I should take this time to try new experiences
But i wouldn't be considering staying together if I didn't think it was something reasonable that had a very good chance of working out. She has made it clear several times that she wants to stay with me, and basically one of my charms is that I am very easy to fall in love with (so I think I can keep our relationship alive during those months if that would be the plan)
Evan Russell
> The point is that women here often are against that, and I know she for a fact is completely against doing something like that. This actually goes both ways - I for instance would refuse to pay for a girl on a date >Why is so? The point is that she's going to a place where she's not playing by the same rules, is alone, has more opportunity than you, has limited contact with you, and you're indecisive.
Matthew Mitchell
>The point is that she's going to a place where she's not playing by the same rules One can't just switch the rules of your own consciousness like that. Its not about what society thinks of it, is about what she thinks of it, and like many women from where I come from, for her its an absurd to have a man paying for her stuff
>is alone She said herself she is already pretty busy with other aspects of her life and is not really bothered to about seeing someone right now. Though that could change as the time passes
>has more opportunity than you Arguably
>has limited contact with you That is one issue, yes, specially considering the timezone. But it is not impossible for us to work that out, specially considering it is only 4 months
>and you're indecisive My biggest flaw it seems. Though if I make the decision to stay together, that would no longer be an issue. Right now she is slightly pissed because I haven't made up my mind yet, but if we decide to stay together I can tell her cute shit every day and stuff like that
Dominic Ross
>My biggest flaw it seems. Though if I make the decision to stay together, that would no longer be an issue Hahaha. No, it wouldn't judging by your past posts and special olympics mental gymnastics going on here.
John Myers
Im indecise about bug decisions like this, but on overall im very good in being a boyfriend. It is easy to fall in love with me and stay in love with me. Literally every relationship i had was super fast and got super serious very quickly
My current gf, for instance, only wanted something casual but fell for me, asked to be my gf, moved into my place in less than 1 year and us still madly into me. My ex was basically the same thing as well
So if there is one thing im good at is being a good bf and make gurls like me
Andrew Sanchez
Big* decisions
Brody Thompson
Larp harder.
Hudson Jackson
OP here guys, just an update:
I talked to her and we decided we will stay together for now
