Is there any name for or is it a known disorder that people CAN’T function or find happiness without a S.O?
I keep getting the feeling that despite being 7/10 looks wise and 6/10 personality wise, there are so few people who relate to me and are “on my level” that I will almost CERTAINLY be alone for the rest of my life.
I’ve had long term GF’s, but now that I’m so old (29) my outlook just looks hopeless for love. I have no joy in ANYTHING in this world, I have no drive, no purpose, no friendship just nothing. I can’t wait to die. I wake up every day hoping it’s my last.
If you can't love yourslef how the hell are you gonna love somebody else. Being in a relationship will not give you any happienes and will not make you feel better only worse if you're not already happy with yourslef.
Why does literally EVERYBODY say this shit. That’s like saying you can’t cook what you’re allergic to. Just cuz I can’t eat it doesn’t mean I can’t provide it. FFS
What does it mean to love yourself?! That makes no GODDAMN SENSE. I can tell myself I’m good looking, funny, strong, y’all etc but what the FUCK does it matter when you go out into the world and test these delusions??? Exactly.
What does “love yourself” fucking mean??? I can’t understand this shit.
It means don't delude yourself, accept yourself as you are and then work on better yourself if you want to. You will never find someone that loves you for you if you can't do the same for yourself.
You’re telling me that if there were NO friends in your life, NONE, you’d be doing some solitary activity and telling yourself “yep, this is fine?”
>What is this? It used to be called codependency and now that has all been lumped under the 'Addictive personality' sector of OCD behavior.
Yep. When you're happy with the person who you are every moment of your live, being completely alone or with friends, is just as pleasent and fulfilling.
Again that is just retardedly delusional.
So if you were in some sort of purgatory, shit is still peachy? Oh what’s that? You have to DO things and find joy to be happy? Hm, that’s a surprise
My purgatory is that nothing in this world excites me, interests me, drives me, satisfies me. I am stranded in desolateness. I’ve been a mechanic for 15 years, gone rock climbing, bowling, hiking, to the beach, flown RC, gone to bars and parties, hiked across Mexico, visited more than a dozen US states and yet here I am still feeling that I don’t desire to do any of these things again. They were unsatisfying, unfulfilling, in my opinion they were pointless. But everybody keeps telling me to try new shit. To make matters worse, many of those things cost money. Not gym membership money, more like work and live with mom and only buy food so I can afford this pointless activity that “makes me happy” type money.
I pray I don’t live much longer. God let me out of here
Don't rely on others for happiness. Everyone dies or disappears eventually. The only constant in this world is you.
Proving my point, nothing will ever feel fulfiling and satisfying to you, not even a relationship, especially not a relationship until you find a way to accept and appreciate just yourself.
That's bullshit. I became happy and satisfied with myself thanks to my gf
Bingo! Same thing in my case (I’m OP)
My GF gave me a reason to strive and develop and a goal. She had abusive parents that broke us up or else I’d be married by now.
Nothing before or after her was even the slightest bit fulfilling.
Actually now that I think about it, food is the ONLY thing that can fulfill any part of me now and I’m trying hard to resist that while being idle and depressed. Point is, how does somebody just switch their brain on and start liking their “self” (and by extension, accept being isolated for the rest of their life) as if to say “gee I never thought of that”
I'm happy that happened to you. Having somone loving and supporting you can definitelty help you achive happines and become satisfied with yourself. I am saying that seeking a relationship just as a band aid for all of your issues and thinking it will change everything is not healty and productive.
Humans are... you know... social animals.
Our happiness is greatly affected by our social circle. Feeling lonely is a very legit cause of unhappiness.
And being 29 I see my options DWINDLING. It’s not bad enough it was minuscule to begin with. Now I’ve gone from a single-digit percentage of the local population to less and less and people within my age group are being snapped up, divorced, have kids, have hit the wall etc etc.
If I knew this very day by some divine message that I would be single for the rest of my life, I couldn’t swallow pills fast enough to get out
You can always target some desperate single mom. If you can't even land a single mommy then i have no advice for you anymore.
I have been in the position of having that opportunity practically handed to me. Nah
I'm on the same boat as you OP, in fact this is my thread: and even though the circumstances are different apparently, I still understand how you feel because I feel exactly like that as well now that I am alone Only being with her gave me a sense of fulfillment and purpose, now there's just void I'm sorry that this reply is in itself empty advice-wise since I can unfortunately not tell you what to do because up to now nothing has worked for me, so I'm trying to figure that one out myself I will however bump your thread because I am also interested in something someone might say about this, should they shed some light on the matter I'm afraid the quality of the replies thus far has been extremely low though, as most don't even seem to get what the fuck you're saying, so I won't get optimistic myself Best of luck anyway
You and me are exactly the same down to the age.
To expand I'm trying prayer but it always comes back to loneliness. Can I do this for 50 years? If i last that long. I get angry at seeing couples. I'm also balding which severely crippled my search. I also want a decent lady but they're mostly taken.
But I also realize that relying on a wife or something to make me happy is a fatal mistake. The wife can die, pass away, cheat etc. But once my parents are gone, i will be alone. Not much left for me in this world that stimulates me.
I’ve told EVERYBODY in my church the same thing.
“If God plans for me to be alone for my whole life, I won’t be happy. I will believe, I will obey, but I will not be happy. I’m ready to die. The next 50 years has no purpose for me personally, so let it end when it will”
I want kids. I want a legacy. I want somebody to love me back.
This world has nothing for me
For me the line of thought is that some people are ugly and others are attractive. Everyone gets ugly with old age, but those ugly their entire lives will never have the opportunity to pass on their genes, have kids and live a fulfilling life. That means decade after decade of nothing. Meanwhile the attractive one's end up better. And usually have something to show for it unless THEY choose to go full retard.
>I want kids. I want a legacy. I want somebody to love me back. I want this too. But be honest with me friend. Have you turned down girls you consider not attractive? If so then we are only complaining about not getting an attractive girl that loves us back. It's fucked but we are what we are. We basically want our cake and to eat it as well. And we can't stand not getting anything less. But I'll keep pushing my stone until the end. I don't think I will kill myself or anything. Even if I got my ideal girl, the worrying would never stop really. But like you I will obey and keep going until I die. I will ask for the mercy of quickly dying after my parents go. I want to see them off as well.
I’ve turned down chicks that are like 4/10 and less. I’d be happy with a 5/10. If I’m in love I shouldn’t have to lie when I say how beautiful she is etc.
I’m attractive and have great personality, the issue is that the people I’d be compatible with are just NOT going to find me, ever. And if they do I would have only 30 seconds to impress them and that’s not going to happen. They’re all married, or dating somebody that doesn’t deserve them but they would rather try to hold on to something they know won’t work just to avoid the pain of the breakup.
God will make everything just, but until then I will be entirely ENTIRELY miserable.
Maybe the problem is we're being too self serving and thinking about only ourselves. I don't know how to reply so I suppose I will try lending out a hand to others since most in this world are miserable and we really should be doing for others and not only worrying about ourselves. At least that is what part of myself tells me.
I am trying to volunteer to help as many people as I can because it’s amazingly rewarding.
The other thing I notice about rewarding feeling is that I can make anybody laugh. I love to surround myself with people because I will be the center of attention and making everybody laugh and it is so gratifying. The thing that completely counteracts that reward is that, at the end of the day, NOBODY reciprocates. Nobody invites me out, nobody wants to stay in touch, nobody wants to return the feeling I’ve given them. Makes me almost not even want to help anybody.
It’s like when you hold the door for people and they just keep walking in, the whole crowd just walking by and nobody says thanks or offers to hold it so I can go as well.
It's a part of NPC speak normies spout to feel better