>mfw the SWAT team tries to breach my tannerite filled door
Mfw the SWAT team tries to breach my tannerite filled door
Owen Carter
Other urls found in this thread:
youtube.com
youtube.com
twitter.com
Adrian Russell
MFW the swat team enters my Dragon-Dildo-Dungeon
Jacob Cox
>open door with ram
>it busts open
>a rather lackluster endeavor
>they rape you
>shoot your neighbors dog for good measure
Jose Ramirez
>good thing I spent extra on the battering ram proof door!
Grayson Jenkins
>not pouring hot pitch on them when they try to batter the door down
Angel Gray
Unironically I've atf-proofed my house
I don't want to go into too much detail as I'm sleep exausted and Mr law man could SOMEHOW trade this back to me, but long story short my house only has one enterance you can actually see. From my front door there's a decently long hallway, with a branch off to a bathroom.
Inside this fairly long hallway is my Magnum opus. Thick metal walls, with littlerally dozens of holes cut out at knee / leg hight, with nigger rigged claymores behind them, all covered in drywall and some cheap hotel tier art I bought on bulk from a auction.
I've tested this with a deer carcass, the legs get turned into chunky salsa.
I could have stopped there, but I decided to up the phycological horror aspect. I added a similar system to the celing, along with the jankiest chemical boobytrap autism has ever made. Not to mention the fucking jigsaw esq speaker system I set up. I could have stopped there, but then I realized that I could also go even further.
Let me paint a picture for you.
>Be ATF / gun removal squad
>Next house on the list is a Mr.user
>No criminal record, but it's registered to own a small armory.
>Get to his house in a semi suburban area
>Knock
>Then knock with ram
>20+ guys come in
>Some janky audio starts playing from somewhere, can't really figure out where
>"You don't have to do this, leave now, fight back, don't let this great country fall. What happens next is your fault"
>Lol what a fag
>Continue sweeping, following the guys into this long ass corridor.
>BANG
>Before I can go though the doorway, a fucking refrigerator falls down from the celing into the floor [Holy shit this was the hardest part to set up]
>BIGGER BANG
>Screaming
>"Look what you've done"
Continued
Parker Kelly
I need more
Chase Martin
Don't leave me in suspense user, what happens?!
Michael Cox
Checked those digits. Now tell me more About your house...Do you like dogs?
Oliver Barnes
I don't care if this is a LARP. Keep going.
Cooper Nguyen
>paint wall to look like door
Mason Jones
This LARP looks to have potential
Elijah Scott
>Screaming
>Look what you've done
Yes, yes... molto bene.
Evan Hall
continue
Daniel Smith
>Wile E. Coyote tactics
Nolan Turner
>LARP
>Live Action Role Play
>Live Action
>greentext
It's just RP. Possibly ERP depending on how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Ethan Wright
>out of loudspeakers:
>"I NEED ABOUT THREE FIDDY"
Kevin Bennett
>Fridge falls into basement to reveal what looks to be the worst colonoscopy ever
>Literally 20+ guys lieing on the ground, in shock, yelling, their legs covering the walls and their selfs.
>Click
>Fucking bleach and ammonia are sprayed onto them from the modified sprinklers
>I'm calling backup, the sherif, fucking buddah to help me
>The final bang, I see what's left of my friends and colleagues turned into minced meat
>The refrigerator on the other end of the hall falls revealing the rest of the pitch black house, covered in IR bulbs to fuck with night vision
>We sweep the house, only finding more fucking trapdoors, speakers playing baby sounds, and tripwire single shot shotguns [I forget the brand] that fire dragons breath
>Fuck it, burn it down
>Yard is covered with sprinklers pointed at the house
>Breech though a wall
>So much asbestos and thick sheet metal
>Command decides to fucking bulldoze the place, supposed hostages and children be damned
>Half the country knows about the house by now
>Find a god damned giant vault near the center of the house
>Cut oxygen
>Cut power
>Thermite it open
>...
This last part is still in development, but I'm most proud of it
>All that's left here is some computers that were filming everything and live streaming it, an American flag, and a tunnel
>The fucker left right around the time he entered
>The only gun we find is a .22
The tunnel is finished, I can't really describe where it goes, but let's just say there used to be a mine REALLY close.
I've spent the past five years building this.full fire suppression, and close to gigabit internet speed. It's actually really nice and homey. The whole system can be activated in about 5-10 mins, entirely autonomous.
Of course this is all fiction, Mr.law man
Alexander Morris
Come and take it
Gabriel Miller
>no dragon dildos
>no fudgehole-seeking fucking-machines to sexually confuse Mr. Law man
>still posts on Jow Forums
Wanna know how I know that this is bullshit and you're a faggot?
Brandon Robinson
>blast this over loud speakers
youtube.com
>rig hoses to start slowly dripping from ceiling and walls
>rig jacks to slowly start bending metal struts
>bulkhead door seals behind them as pressure of hoses increases
youtube.com
>starts playing over the first video
>rig door to bulkhead to reopen once the room is at waist height water
>feds escape panicking back onto lawn
>right onto a slip n slide
>camera takes their picture
>"I SURVIVED THE WACKY WILD PIG SINKING SUB SLIDE."
Ayden Bailey
Not even exaggerating.
Andrew Jackson
You better be a girl.
Asher Jackson
fuck user
your putting a bad dragon employees' kid through college
Sebastian Ward
>reverse image search
>0 matches
Mother of god.
Evan Brooks
I could pretend to be for you, user.
Josiah Davis
pics
Noah King
Sorry friendo. Got the flowing blond hair, but that's about it. Just fat, but working on that now.
Cameron Rogers
Julian Moore
Imagine the possibilities
Caleb Stewart
Chris chan?
Thomas Parker
>MFW water balloons and det cord are in the walls
Blake Evans
May be a bit of a sperg, but ain't on that level.
Christian Flores
Need to add a legion of Roombas armed with steak knives
Anthony Kelly
Jonathan Anderson
Chase Flores
>not have a puppy mill in your foyoir so they are hemmed up for a while removing pupper. You know they can't resist.
Jordan Evans
What do you do for a living that much silicone ain't cheap, trap-kun
Ethan Long
>mfw the SWAT team tries to breach my catboy compound
Logan Sanchez
I'm a student. Money came mostly from life insurance.
Brody Roberts
Oh damn, I'm sorry user. I hope the dildos fill not only your ass but the hole in your heart.
Caleb Rivera
They can fill my ass, but nothing reaches deep enough to touch my heart.
John Hill
>Rain Silves
Christian Perez
>Not sleeping with a pillow of the cuddliest genocidal general.
Jonathan Young
I like this idea
Better idea is to build an entire decoy doorframe and craft a fake door.
Lincoln Martinez
>So much asbestos and thick sheet metal
holy shit my sides
Bentley Scott
Behind a brick wall, can't forget
Hunter Kelly
But how do we spetznas proof a house?
James Jenkins
Place taxidermied pitbull jammed with tannerite the front room
Owen Collins
Evacuate all hostages, bystanders, and innocents?
Hudson Young
>three city blocks leveled
>…
> in the evac planning phase
Jose Cox
I hope this is real
Nathan Anderson
Jaxson Morales
godspeed user
BTW 4340 steel is RHA
Caleb Anderson
Even better than a pack of rabid pitbulls
Brandon Baker
This fucking thread,Its so glorious.
Godspeed you magnifcant bastard.
Hudson Perez
fake and homosexual
Jason Edwards
Mason Ward
Holy shit, there's a pic of her smiling? Muh dick.
Jason Smith
Immediately thought of pic related.
Zachary Thompson
What about a pack of unarmed urban youths filled with tannerite?
Joshua Watson
Fuck man. I can't believe Fallout 3 is 10 years old in october. Thanks for making me feel old. :,-(
Colton James
>owns ~35 dragon dildos
>a *bit* of a sperg
I find this statement highly suspect
John Howard
>the digits
>my sides are gone
Jesus user, I'll follow your troops once the duty calls
Jackson Powell
>fake
Alrighty sir, just making sure things are okay. I'll just park my van right next to your house while I get something to fix it in a few months.
Jackson Rodriguez
No manikins filled with tannerite holding airshit?
6/10
Plottwist: The tunnel is just a diversion and you are in full SWAT gear walking out just like one of them now.
Daniel Brooks
>i dont want to go into much detail
>proceeds to detail exactly what hes done to his house
Jaxon Turner
Leo Baker
Or... that’s still very vague
Isaac Ortiz
>not pretending to be shitting when they knock on your door
>not yelling "can ya wait a bit? I'm shitting" but making sure its not loud enough that they can't hear it
>let them break your door down and clear your house room by room, flush the toilet bowl at this time
>till they reach the toilet and see you half naked putting on your pants
>"Officer, what the fuck? Didn't you hear me yelling that I'm in the toilet? Do you need to see a doctor for your hearing? Did the guns ruin your ears?"
>giving him a grand total of one single shit gun that wasn't lost to the boating accident you had months back
>Before they leave, pass the namecard of a well known doctor that does hearing problems to the officer in command, and also speak louder than you need to be to him, "SIR, I BELIEVE YOU'LL NEED THIS, HAVE A GOOD DAY"
>also send the repair bill of the door to the police and criticise the police for hiring officers with hearing problems so bad they are unable to hear a man yelling from the toile
Sebastian Hughes
Tannerite requires about 2000fps impact to pop. Breaching shotgun rounds are half that.
Jose Miller
Jacob Walker
How long is her fucking neck?
Jordan Mitchell
>tfw not into vote but sexually excited by detailed pictures of slobbery beast mouths like that
send help
Andrew Young
Nothing a little high-school chemistry can't fix.
Parker Kelly
Making a detonator, sure. Making a low impact reactant that will trigger tannerite, no.
Brayden Hernandez
I could bb
Oliver Hughes
i have concerns about this thread
Wyatt Cruz
Nice
Carson Young
Well a diagnosed sperg when I was young, but I've been getting better since I traveled a bit and talked to some people last year. Also it's *only* a bit over 3k of dick and vagine/butthole, so I can at least rationalize it now as being cheaper than funs in the long run.
Neither am I, but same. It's only a matter of time before we slide down that slope.
Levi Morales
Brody Roberts
so what happens when they burn you out like dorner
Oliver Wood
I have thought about this but I would like a really quick trap door grab system that can get a FBI man almost instantly an have a lot of them so that they are grabbed an processed into restrains in various underground chambers where I then proceed to ask them why they have come to my house. I want ot to work to that the other FBI ers dont know what just happened, quick silent. This way they just keep diapearing, should be able to get o 100+ this way, of course I would be a robot actuall me would have long seeded my self into the atmosphere with nanobots
Angel Hughes
The property already has too many fucking sprinklers (the old owners were afriad of wildfires) and can basically simulate a hard rain on my property.
That, plus so much asbestos. Seriously, I didn't actually have to get that much, the house was full of the stuff when I got it
Jason Long
Jacob Sanders
There's plenty of more sensitive exploding targets available. And if you google, you'll find a lot of people telling you how to sensitize homemade or bought tannerite for use with rimfires and such.
Jackson Baker
YESSSS....First they get pain for breaching your dungeon then, PLEAAAASURREEEE....
Nolan Lewis
The Garand looks nice though
Joshua Moore
Landon Collins
>Have all doors and windows on the house rigged with trip wires to claymores placed around driveway and the street/
>house is completely filled with razor wire
>House has remote charges placed on it's foundation and roof supports can be demolished with the press of a button at any time
>I don't even live in this house
>Been lying about my address on government documents and elsewhere obsessively for years
>Been lying about my identity even to my own family
>Give different info about myself to everyone
>Have contingency plan to rapidly alter my appearence that can be used at any moment
>Have no fingerprints since I have burned them off
>Have all my mail and other things forwarded to the red herring death trap house
>By the time anyone realizes what is going on I'll already be innawoods.
You're all small time
Joseph Perez
1. Tannerite is mostly just Ammonium Nitrate. Ammonium Nitrate absorbs moisture like a motherfucker and will not work as an explosive if not kept dry. Something like a front door (constant temperature changes and contrast from one side to the other) is almost guaranteed to sweat and ruin your tannerite mixture.
2. Assuming you DID somehow manage to load your door full of tannerite in such a way that it was stable long term, the explosion would require the SWAT team to swing the breaching ram at over 2000fps to detonate.
3. Assuming that you managed to load your door with tannerite and keep it stable long term, and that the officer was fucking superman and hit the door at over 2000fps, the resulting explosion would be a loud bang and at best probably knock the first two cops off their feet and shower them with light shrapnel. You still have a bunch of pissed off JBTs on your property and now in addition to whatever infringing they were there for in the first place, they now have you on multiple felonies.
Honestly man, it would save you a lot of time and trouble to just shoot your own dog.
Gavin Rogers
Why did it take this many replies to point this out?
Ryder Cook
you need some jamming capabilities to stop the robots they'll send in when the first claymores go off.
If they can't radio control the bomb disposal robots, they'll need to send people in.
Luis Long
Just make a bunch of fake doors that open into a wall
John Scott
>defend myself from intruder
>call police
>get arrested and put into jail
WOW DUDE
Oliver Parker
Thank you for the kek, anons
Joshua Torres
why do you need that many?
Nolan Morris
Different sensations from different shapes and sizes.
James Turner
Austin Sanchez
>Not putting an impact detonated firing plate of blasting caps behind the fiberboard facade that also work as a series of EFPs
No matter where they put the ram, that whole team and every vehicle in the beaten zone is getting pulped by a door-sized anti-vehicle claymore