A killer is chasing you with a knife who will stop at nothing to murder you, what do you grab?

A killer is chasing you with a knife who will stop at nothing to murder you, what do you grab?

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gun

the banana
either
>he has a severe banana allergy, and is essentially like garlic to a vampire
or
>use banana as a dildo
>murderer gets turned on
>we fuck
>he leaves and never calls
>I cry

Easy, the dagger. Then him and I will face each other in an honorable duel to the death.

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Grenade
>Pull pin
>Hold spoon
>"come at me faggot"

the grenade
>grab grenade, pull pin
>swallow grenade, force it through my digestive system with inhuman speed
>bend over and shit the grenade out like a launcher
>thuds into his chest and immediately explodes because it was cooked in my stomach acid

Grenade, I'm tired of this shit.

This is too old for Jow Forums, too many newfags

Grenade. It will be weighty enough to serve as sort of brass knuckles for beating the killer's ass, then when I'm done I'll have a grenade.

Banana.

Potassium in the banana helps prevent muscle cramps, enabling me to run away more efficiently.

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I grab the Glock.

table

Scary Movie isn't ol-
>it came out 18 years ago
Mother of god.

In three months there will be kids born after the release of scary movie who can buy guns.

I know plenty of 25 year olds who don't even know about it.
>rare occasion pops up where I can make "it's my strong hand" joke
>five people collectively ask me what that is
>have to explain scary movie one to people that haven't even seen a single movie in the series

What is that sexy dagger tho

>grap knife
>grab rope
>tie one of our hands together
Cause I'm bad, I'm bad

i think the movie is getting a slight resurgence from being "highlighted" on netflix

There's no way he knows how to defend himself against a banana, so I'll use that.

Barring that, I'll use a knife to make a pointed stick.

banana for the electrolytes on my way to the AK47, plus it will fit perfectly in the magwell for high cap mag dumping

to be fair, they were shitty movies and after watching the first one i never watched another

>["Beat It" Starts Playing]

easy - grenade. Then I pull the pin, and scream Allahu Akbar!, and run straight at him.

LOL!!1! So random XD

Grenade. Take the pin, dump the rest, and stab killer with said pin.

None of them.
I do CQC better with 2 open hands.

Shut the fuck up fag. Get your normie shit out

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Banana
>eat banana
>throw banana peel on the ground
>bad guy slips on peel
>lands on table
>bad guy gets stabbed twice, shot, and exploded
>I'm still hungry

The banana, obviously. The rest aren't nearly nutritious enough to sustain a steady sprint.
That grenade looks like it'd go well as a side, though.

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